The Antics of the Avengers
by EpicKiya
Summary: They faced terrorist attacks, alien armies, black holes, enhanced powered humans, and other things that one can imagine. But nothing takes the cake more than the things they do on a daily basis at the Tower… or anywhere else.
1. Feel Like Rihanna

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Summary: Let's face it. When you're a man frozen for 70 years with inhuman strength and speed, a genius man that is worth millions and has a knack for engineering, a doctor who got exposed to gamma radiation and now another being inside of him and temper issues, a woman who was a trained assassin who happens to be Russian without an accent, a marksman who has aim like no other, but is quirky as hell or an alien that happens to a legendary Norse god nothing is undoubtedly normal to you anymore. They faced terrorist attacks, alien armies, black holes, enhanced powered humans, and other things that one can imagine. But nothing takes the cake more than the things they do on a daily basis at the Tower.**

 **Disclaimer: I have just enough tears to show how much disappointment I hold because I don't own the Avengers. Or other merchandise, songs and characters that are featured in these chapters.**

 **Notes: I really don't have notes to say for this chapter. Except that I might have been listening to too much Little Mix and Rihanna during the writing of the first chapter. So... yeah... Also, the chapters will range in length. Some short, some long, some in between. This one is kind of long only because of the songs. Without them it's kind of short.**

 **Warnings: unnecessary cuteness, cussing, slight mentioned of yaoi, and randomness (It's my writing. Of course there is.)**

* * *

Chapter 1 - Feel Like Rihanna

Truth be told, Tony actually wished he had went to bed and _stayed_ there at the moment. This was complete torture. A total waste of his time! He should be in his lab right now tinkering with his gadgets and drinking some _good_ coffee. But no! He couldn't. He was dragged to this place. Drinking some awful coffee some new recruit brewed.

"So it's really important that you find this guy and shut down his whole operation... for good. Who knows just how many more people he has experimented on? How many more people he has stolen lives from? How many- STARK!"

Tony quickly snapped his head up at Fury's outburst, meeting his one-eyed glare. "Huh, Nicky?"

Fury crossed his arms in a badass arm fold. On the right of him, Phil scooted back. You could tell he was feeling the anger coming from the Director.

"First of all, don't call me that. Ever in your life. Second, were you listening at all to what I was saying?"

The brunet shook his head slowly. Both Bruce and Sam winced, but silently praised Tony for being honest. Usually, he would have come up with some lie or joke. Fury sighed, rubbing his nose between his two fingers with his eyes closed. "Why do I even bother?"

"Because you have some hope for some of us?", Vision questioned. Tony looked at the ex-AI, a bit more awake. "What are you sa-"

"Maybe it's time for this meeting to end, huh? We'll read over the notes and such. I promise, Director Fury.", Steve said, quickly getting up from his seat. Fury sighed and nodded. "Alright. I'm getting a headache anyways. Meeting dismissed."

The team quickly dispersed out the room.

* * *

Once they were back at the Tower, each member went about doing whatever they normally do. Steve, Bucky and Natasha were settled down in the kitchen reading over the notes given to them by Maria while Sam fixed drinks.

Wanda and Pietro was having a field day in the den playing random games on the infamous Stark game console.

Clint was probably in his room cleaning his beloved bow and arrows or scooping out the scene in the vents.

Vision was probably with the Twins or with Thor, who was probably bothering his brother about something.

Bruce was, obviously, down in the lab alone since Tony had a date with his bed.

It was pretty settling within the Tower for the next hour or so until there was a faint melody coming from one of the rooms. The soldiers and assassin within the kitchen stopped their discussion, listening to the upbeat sounds that were now playing through the vents.

 _ **Feel the**_ ** _adrenaline_**

 _ **Movin' right through my skin**_

 _ **It's an addiction**_

 _ **Such an eruption**_

 _ **Sound is my remedy**_

 _ **Feedin' me energy**_

 _ **Music is all I need**_

 _ **Baby, I just wanna dance**_

They, except Steve and Bucky, immediately recognized the song and groaned. "What the hell is going on?", Sam questioned, hoping he get some answer to this torture. Bucky glanced at him, and was about to answer with a guess until there was a scream and a thud coming from the vent. The group looked up and watched as Clint slid out, clutching his arrows and bow tightly in his hands while glaring about the room.

"I bet Tony has something to do with this!", he growled. Because Tony does everything bad, Clint. Right.

 _ **She's a mean-eyed crazy dita**_

 _ **Disco diva**_

 _ **And you wonder**_

 _ **Who's that chick?!**_

 _ **Who's that chick?!**_

 _ **Too cold for you to keep her**_

 _ **Too hot for you to leave her**_

 _ **Who's that chick?!**_

 _ **Who's that chick?!**_

Steve noticed that Natasha was clenching her hands tightly over her ears, hissing under her breath. "No. No! Make it stop!" The blonde looked away from her and listened to the unfamiliar song. He felt his foot tapping to the upbeat tunes of it. Seconds later, he was humming it.

Sam had heard him, confusion clouding his mind. "Steve… are you actually liking this song?"

"It's an actually cute little song to dance to.", the older man protested with a blush. A few seconds later, he continued his little rhythmic show. Bucky and Natasha exchanged glances, smirks decorating their lips. Bucky arranged his seat next to Steve, leaning dangerously close to the younger man's shoulder. "You're pretty cute yourself, Stevie. Reminds me of all the times you would sway your little hips and sing happy tunes with that beautiful voice of yours."

The blonde immediately stopped moving and humming. His face turned a brighter red than Thor's cape. He turned away from his best friend, coughing into his balled hand. "I didn't sway my hips, Bucky... nor am I cute."

"Yes, you are. Fury would even agree with me. Hell, all of HYDRA would agree."

"What would HYDRA agree with?"

The group turned to see the Twins walk into the kitchen, Tony trailing behind them in cotton grey pajama pants and a black tank. Steve blushed even more when he saw both Natasha and Bucky smirk again. He noticed that the music was still playing, too.

 _ **Ultrasexual, the night has got me love sprung**_

 _ **I won't stop until the sun is up**_

 _ **Oh yeah**_

 _ **Heart is a dancer**_

 _ **Beat it like a disco drum**_

"Steve here seems to enjoy the music of Rihanna. He looks so adorable dancing.", Natasha teased, poking the said soldier's cheek. Clint was actually taken back a bit that she even said 'adorable'. Wanda smiled, going over to Steve's side and wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders. "You like her music, too?! Awesomeness!", she squealed. Pietro was behind her laughing while Tony walked around him, heading to the coffee machine. "I never knew Capsicle would be a Rihanna kind of guy. Well... she did do a song about him.", he voiced as the song finished. Sam looked his way, an eyebrow raised. "There's a song about Cap?", he asked. Tony nodded, watching as the coffee was being made. "Yeah. Well, in a sense. It talks about America and Steve here is practically America's Golden Boy. I think he'll love it." (1)

"Probably. Hey, can he dance to it? He looks so cute swaying his hips.", Bucky taunted. He ducked from Steve swinging a fist at him. "NO I DON'T!", he protested. Bucky scoffed. "You do. I guarantee it."

"I actually miss Steve swaying his hips? I feel like crying now.", the Stark heir moaned in disappointment before taking a sip of his newly made beverage.

"FRIENDS!"

Clint had screamed at the sudden outburst and jumped in Pietro's arms, much to the enjoyment of the speedster's. The others saw Thor walk in with Vision, Bruce, and Loki. The thunder god was holding his StarkPad given to him by the creator himself. He fumbled through the blue lit screen, his eyes curiously moving about the contents. "I have discovered the most joyous of songs. But I am at fault with the asking of a baby chicken.", he said.

It suddenly clicked.

"Thor... it was you playing the song through the speakers?", Natasha asked. Thor blinked at her. "Do you speak of the song about a chicken by the woman with red hair?" She nodded. "Yup. Her name is Rihanna."

"It is the happiest of songs I have heard of Midgard yet!"

"Steve agrees. By the way, Thor, the song isn't actually talking about chickens. It's actually talking about girls. 'Chick' is slang word for female.", Sam said as Steve glared his way when he was mentioned. Thor glanced his way, a smile creeping on his face. "Aye! A common interest we both share! Come, Steven! Let us dance and enjoy the music of this Rihanna!" Steve yelped as he was suddenly lifted on his feet and escorted out the room.

Clint had begun to laugh. "Oh boy! Steve's got himself a dance partner!"

"Think Thor's gonna try to tango with him?", Sam teases to his Bird Bro. "Just for the excuse to hold Steve by his hips?"

"Maybe."

* * *

It was much later when Natasha, Loki and Wanda made a wonderful discovery. Well, what they thought was amazing.

They had came into the den, ready discussing what movie to watch when they heard singing.

 _ **Find light in the beautiful sea**_

 _ **I choose to be happy**_

 _ **You and I, you and I**_

 _ **We're like diamonds in the sky**_

 _ **You're a shooting star I see**_

 _ **A vision of ecstasy**_

 _ **When you hold me, I'm alive**_

 _ **We're diamonds in the sky**_

 _ **I knew that we'd become one right away**_

 _ **Oh, right away**_

 _ **At first sight I felt the energy of sun rays**_

 _ **I saw the life inside your eyes**_

Whoever it was had a very talented voice. It sounded golden, purely, undoubtedly angelic. For a second, Natasha believed it was Clint. He _could sing_ like a _pro._ But this voice was much softer, while the archer's was a bit stronger.

The trio rounded the corner, their eyes widening when they saw who it was.

By the window was none other than their beloved, blond, muscular Captain Steven Rogers of America. He was doing his usual hobby of art. This time, he was painting. As his paintbrush moved across the canvas, his hips swayed with the music he was listening to from his Stark music player. One device that was easy for him to work with. Steve seem obvious to the audience he had gained. Once in a while he would glance out the window before he continued working on the painting.

Wanda had took the liberty to request Friday to make sure this was all on video. It would be a treasure.

 _ **So shine bright**_

 _ **Tonight, you and I**_

 _ **We're beautiful like diamonds in the sky**_

 _ **Eye to eye, so alive**_

 _ **We're beautiful like diamonds in the sky**_

"Amazing I must say. Who knew that the Captain had such a lovely voice?", Loki teased lightly, taking a seat on the sofa to watch the mini 'concert'. Wanda and Natasha joined him, smiling as Steve continued on without much of a care. A few seconds later, Bucky and Bruce joined them. Bruce had stopped halfway into the room when he noticed the blonde. "Is he singing?"

"Yes. Isn't it adorable?!", Wanda squealed. Bruce had to admit that the leader of their team was pretty adorable. No matter how much he wanted to deny it. "I agree, Wanda. He hasn't noticed you yet?"

"No. He so into the song, I guess.", Natasha answered. Steve had finally turned around, had finishing his painting and the singing of the song. He blushed when he saw the others, each of them giving him a smile. "Uh... how long were you there for?"

"Well, Bucky and Bruce just walked in. Nat, Loki and I have been here for a while. By the way, you have such a lovely voice.", Wanda teased. Steve blushed even more, groaning behind his hands in embarrassment. "I can't believe you saw me."

"I enjoyed it.", Bucky retorted. Steve glared at his best friend, ready to pounce on him. "Shut up, Bucky."

Wanda had leaned over to Loki, a hand covering her mouth. "I'd totally ship it.", she whispered. Loki nodded in agreement.

Steve had picked up his paints and brushes, putting them in a case Tony had brought him for his last birthday. Natasha had gotten him the easel. "This will not be spoke about. And that's an order.", he hissed before walking out with his supplies. When he was out of hearing range, Wanda had spoken up. "He can't know about the video, Friday."

 **"Of course, Miss Maximoff."**

* * *

 **So yeah. Started another Avengers fic, but unrelated to my other ones.**

 **(1) If you know the song just by reading that bit, you should be proud. For those that don't know and need hints I got them for you. One, the song mentioned is about America and by Rihanna (as said). Obvious in the song title, too. It's also mentioned in another of my fics. More specifically, "The Things Nick Banned Us to Do" in chapter 10.**

 **I can totally see that song (when you guess what it is) being Cap's theme. Besides his original theme song, but yeah. Anyways...**

 **REVIEW!**


	2. Give Him a Kiss!

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Just look back for the disclaimer and summary in the first chapter.**

 **Notes: I'm going to be honest... I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this chapter... or any other chapter to this fic. I'm crazy, but I accept it. Anyways, I need to come up with a series name for my other Avengers fics since they all tie in together. Yeah...**

 **Warnings: Pretty much the same as last chapter, just with an added thing of secret innuendos.**

* * *

Chapter 2 - Give Him a Kiss!

Another lazy afternoon at the Tower. Another time of wandering about the place without much of a care. Another day in which something was going to happen. Because of someone's crazy antics.

No doubt about it.

Natasha was heading into the kitchen to grab a snack after her workout in the gym. She was craving for some fruit at the moment. Hopefully, Bucky had actually brought fruit this time instead of getting into a fight at the supermarket. Boy, did he get a lecture that day.

The female agent was now nearly an inch of walking into the kitchen when she heard some small conversation going on. Well... it was more like an argument.

"Come on! Just one!"

"I said no!"

Instantly, the Widow knew who had to be. The usual snarky Tony Stark and plays-by-the-rule-book Steve Rogers.

There was a rustling of something and then a chuckle. "Really? You're denying a kiss? From me?! Capsicle, you know better than that."

"Tony, I do know better. That's why I don't want a kiss... from _you_. Tony, seriously. I'm not in the mood for a kiss."

"Cap, you couldn't do better than me. Well... unless you hooked up with Thor. Which wouldn't happened for another 10,000 years..."

There was silence for a moment.

"JUST HAVE A KISS!"

"NO! NO! NO! I DON'T WANT YOUR KISSES!"

There was a sudden crash, shout, and a loud thud. Natasha had almost rushed in to see the commotion, but her want to see how this was going to play out defeated that. Tony wanted to give Steve a kiss? Sure, the brunet was single again, but out of all people he's asking _Steve_ for a kiss? A kiss? Really, Nat wondered if he wanted mouth to cheek or mouth to mouth.

"Well, damn. I better get that on camera to show the girls later.", she whispered to herself. She pulled out her cell, and then slowly creeped into the kitchen. Tony and Steve were still going at it and from the looks of it, they were wrestling on the floor by the kitchen table. "Tony, get off of me!"

"Not until you have a kiss!"

"Never!"

Natasha heard an annoyed grunt and then a childish whine. She peaked over to see Tony on top of Steve, pinning the blonde's wrists on the tiled cold floor, and settled between his legs. Steve was dangerously glaring at him, yet with a very noticeable red blush on his cheeks. Natasha snapped a quick picture of the two. Oh yeah. Pepper, Maria and Wanda will _love_ this.

"Stark, get off of me!"

"Steve, if you really wanted me off of you would have easily won that wrestling match and would've been pushed me off of you. Hm. I'm guessing you're wanting that kiss now?", the brunet teased with an added lick of his lips. Steve squirmed under him more. "No. Trust me, I would have you practically choking for air right now. I just know how to control myself because I know I'm _well_ equipped to put you in a hospital."

Tony had let out a sudden shout when the super soldier tossed him off of him. When he was down, Steve took the opportunity to run out the room. He ignored seeing Natasha hiding behind one of the stools. Tony groaned, getting up from his spot just as Natasha came up to see him stand and stretch. He glanced at her with a questioning raise of his eyebrow.

"How much did you hear?", he asked.

Natasha smirked. "Just enough."

* * *

Clint had sighed for the umpteenth time today. He stopped walking and looked over his shoulder at the two following him. He narrowed his eyes at the Twins. "Why in the hell are you following me?", he questioned, crossing his arms firmly over his chest.

Wanda and Pietro exchanged glances before looking back at him with identical gazes. "Because we can. We're bored, little hawk.", the oldest twin answered with 'innocent' grin. Clint wasn't going to be fooled. Not today. Nope.

"Pietro, we had a full on conservation as to why you can't, shouldn't and won't call me 'little hawk'.", he warned.

Wanda giggled as her brother took a step forward towards the archer. "I remember. I remember _well_."

"So why I still have that nickname?"

Pietro stepped even closer. It kind of made Clint feel a bit uneasy. And shorter. Pietro was a little taller than him and how he hated that. "It suits you."

Clint groaned, rubbing his nose in between the tips of his fingers. "You know what? Forget it. Just tell me the real reason why-"

"STEVIE!"

The trio turned just in time to see Tony pinning Steve on the couch. The blonde immediately started to struggle out his 'hug'. "TONY! GET OFF!"

"Come on, Capsicle! Just share a few kisses with me! They're delicious!"

The archer blinked. Did he hear right? He looked back at Wanda and Pietro for recognition. The female of the duo was grinning, about to squeal out of cheerful, cheery cheeriness. Pietro looked as confused as Clint felt. His blue eyes were wide with shock. "Um..."

"You heard that, too, right?", the older man asked. They nodded.

"I'm positive I did.", Wanda giggled.

They watched as Steve grabbed Tony's hands and forced them behind his back. He then pressed the brunet on the cushions on his front side. "How many must I say it? I don't want a kiss! Simple as that! I'm speaking clear English!"

Tony didn't seem bothered by being pinned under the stronger. Clint figured he was either delusional or just into that. Then again...

"I hear ya, Cap. I do. I understand your English very well."

"Then why in the hell are you trying to give me a kiss?"

"You and I both know that I'm stubborn about having my way."

Steve groaned. He let go of Tony and began to walk away. Big mistake.

The genius immediately got off the couch and tackled Steve from behind, making them both tumble onto the floor. Wanda had taken out her phone around this point and was recording the two. "This is going onto my feed."

"Wanda Maximoff! Don't you dare!", Steve had warned. The younger was actually surprised she had been caught. Guess Tony and Steve realized they had an audience. "Yes sir!" Steve gave her a stern look before prying Tony off of him again. "No. No. No. Now stop it or I swear I'll get Fury to punish you.", he growled while pointing a finger right in Tony's face. In response, Tony blinked before nodding. "Understood."

Steve got back up on his feet, dusted off his khakis and hauled ass out the room. When he was gone, Tony had got up. He crossed his arms just beneath his Arc Reactor and smirked. He looked over to the silent trio. "Steve doesn't know he just gave me a challenge that I will not lose."

He then bolted out the room, leaving the others to ponder in their thoughts. It was a brief moment of more silence until Pietro spoke up. "Is Tony high?"

* * *

It became practically a routine to overhear Tony and Steve bicker over kisses. Everybody witnessed it and had different reactions to it.

Natasha, Wanda, and Pepper got into 'shipping and feels' mode. Bruce was pretty much indifferent, but had his share of teasing the two. Tony was more than welcome to join in while Steve blushed and scowled the Science Bros.

Clint tried to ignore, and eventually gave into the teasing. He wouldn't admit it, but the two were actually adorable.

Vision succeeded in ignoring after the first time he witnessed the two. Though he continued to question just how sane his brunet, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist creator was. Rhodey was with him on that, too. None the less, he claimed he saw it coming.

Pietro pretty much stayed indifferent about the whole thing like Bruce but with less teasing.

Sam and Bucky thought it was weird also, but the younger of the two had joined Bruce in teasing Steve.

Loki had heard about it since he was back early from his stay in Asgard. He decided to stay out of it since he wanted how it was going to play out. He even started a bet of whether or not Steve was going to give into Tony's 'requests'.

The only person on the team who didn't know was Thor. He was still in Asgard when it started and didn't return until a day before they had a meeting with Director Fury.

Which they were in now.

Thor was sitting next to Steve, noticing how uneasy he looked while Tony sat across from him with a grin on his face. Once in a while, the thunder god heard a small whimper from the slightly smaller blonde and saw him shift in his chair. He was practically giving away his discomfort. Thor was surprised Fury didn't notice and continued on without missing a beat.

Eventually, someone else did. And that person was none other than Phil Coulson. "Captain Rogers, are you okay?", he asked just as Nick finished his speech. Steve blushed, nodding slowly and shifting once again. "Just fine, Phil." There was a chuckle from across the table. You know who.

Phil stared at Steve for a brief minute. "Are you sure?"

"He's just fine, Agent. Stevie's just a little _hungry_ for something delicious.", Tony taunted.

Steve growled his way. "Anthony... don't."

"Captain, what does the Man of Iron speak of?", Thor asked. Steve groaned. He really had hope that Thor didn't actually ask questions or witness this. "N-nothing that is needed to be spoken about. Really."

"I think he should know, Steve.", Tony protested.

Steve was on edge now. He didn't want Thor to get involved in this. He just might make it worse!

"No, Stark. He-"

"I would very much like to be informed of the matter.", Thor interrupted. The table broke into quiet laughs, raising Fury's suspicions. Something wasn't right between Rogers and Stark. It wasn't that unusual, but whatever it was it made Rogers uneasy which was unusual.

"I like to be known about this, too, Rogers. What's going on between you two?", Fury interrogated. Steve now wanted to die. "Um... well..."

"Rogers..."

"Um..."

He was sweating bullets now. Tony, on the other hand, was obviously enjoying himself. He leaned over the edge of the table, licking his lips in a seductive matter. "Really, Stevie. It's not that big of a deal. Just one. All I want you to try is one."

"Last time I did that it turned out terrible! It was gross!"

"Wait! You actually gotten one from Tony before?!", Sam shouted out of disbelief. Steve's whole face and neck was as red as Thor's cape now.

"Yeah. He tricked me into having one from him. Till this day I don't trust him trying to put things in my mouth." Maria sputtered on the water she was drinking. "Is that you two were talking about?!", she asked to Natasha and Wanda. The females nodded. "Yup. Don't you think they're so cute together?", the older one asked. Maria chuckled, forgetting about her water. "Lovely cute. I bet they would switch."

"Oh yeah. But Steve's totally the catcher."

"I think he's more of the pitcher."

"Hey! I'm right here! And what are you two talking about? I love baseball, but I'm not that good at it.", Steve encountered. Maria, Wanda, and Natasha exchanged looks before grinning at him. "We're sure you do love baseball. Tell us. Would you be pitcher or catcher?", Wanda asked.

By now everyone was on track with the conversation. Except Steve didn't understand the secret innuendos and Thor was still confused. The small blonde thought about the question and answered. "Probably catcher. I could be pitcher, but I think I might pitch too hard."

Clint and Sam blushed, images forming in their heads. Bucky freaked out. "Steve! No! Hey, stop trying to corrupt his innocence!", he ordered. Steve pouted. "What, Bucky? I could totally make a good catcher!"

Tony had now gotten up from his seat and stood beside the team leader, leaning dangerously close to him. "Maybe we should test that theory out later? You, me, and a _field_. I have the _equipment_."

"NO!", Bucky shouted, standing up and slamming his hands on the table. His metal one left an imprint. "You already tried to kiss him! And apparently for another time! You back off my little brother right now, Stark!"

It then became silent.

"..."

Two minutes had passed before anyone spoke up. "... confused.", Thor voiced. At that Tony laughed. Everyone glanced his way, watching as he tumbled on the table, hitting his fists against it. "I can't believe it! I can't take this anymore!"

Steve cleared his throat, catching their attention. "Oh my goodness. Guys, huge misunderstanding. Tony was trying to give me a kiss."

"We know that. Why not just pucker up and get it over with?", Pietro asked. Steve shook his head. "It's not kind of kiss. It's a Hersey's kiss."

"WHAT?!"

"Yup." Tony went over to his chair and picked up his bag. He then pulled out a bag of chocolate kisses and sat them on the table. "I've been trying to give Cap one, but he's very good refusing it."

"That's because he gave me a cherry kiss! I hate cherries!" (1)

Thor glanced over at the bag of kisses. "Hm. May I try one of those?"

"Dude, of course!" Tony had happily tossed one over to the bigger man. Thor unwrapped it, popped it in his mouth and soon was moaning at the chocolaty sweet taste. "This is marvelous!" (2)

"I know. See, Steve? Thor likes my kisses!"

"Whatever.", Steve sighed much like a teen girl would.

Bruce then spoke up. "So... even if Tony wasn't trying to give you one of those kisses... would you let him? You know, let him give you an _actual_ kiss?"

That got everyone to look at the spangled man. Except Thor who was cheerfully munching on the kisses. Tony cuddled up to Steve's side, resulting into the other to blushing again. "Yeah, Stevie. Would you let me?"

Straight up deadpanned was the answer, "NO."

"Really? How are you so reluctant to kisses? You should take advantage that anybody would love to give you a kiss on those pink, thin, luscious lips of yours."

"Tony."

"Even Thor would gladly give you a kiss! Point Break, wouldn't you want to give Steve a kiss?"

"Most certainly, iron brother!", Thor answered without much thought. Steve sighed, standing up in surrender. "I had enough of this. This all started because of some damn chocolate. Chocolate!"

He walked out the meeting room, ignoring the giggles from his colleagues.

Phil turned to Fury, who looked back at him with confusion. "Exactly what did I just witness here, Coulson?"

"A beginning of a beautiful relationship, sir. Saw it coming from a mile away."

* * *

 **Anyone else know about Grim Tales From Down Below by Bleedman? Well, if you do might already know about this. In one of the panels, "Mimi Plays Chicken", it shows that Mandy has Cap's shield as a trophy in her vault. When I saw it I got into my feels. I thought, "Mandy had to kill Cap for that shield... NNNNOOOO!" Because in that storyline, Mandy's known as the Queen Bitch for her unmerciful actions and attitude. Glad she stayed into character though.**

 **(1) I love Hersey's, but I any chocolate with cherries. I hate cherries.**

 **(2) See what I did there? If you do, give yourself cookie!**

 **Review!**


	3. Leather is the New Purple

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 ***Sighs* You already know I don't own anything. Just my little bit of sanity.**

 **Notes: This chapter is inspired by my want for heroes to be in more leather. Ha ha. Just kidding. This idea for this chapter just popped into my head after watching 'Catwoman'. I had the idea to see one of my favorite (Hawkeye is my number one favorite!) Avengers in leather.**

 **Warnings: Cussing, mentioned guyxguy, weirdness, some low sexual content, future nosebleeds. That will be all.**

* * *

Chapter 3 - Leather is the New Purple

"Right now I could be totally chilling at home and sleeping in the vents! But no! Some boneheaded aliens thought today was the day to show up and slime people! First of all, that's cliché! Second, why on a fucking Wednesday?!"

"Hawkeye, I need you to calm down, please! You're throwing me off!"

"I apologize, Cap."

The team was in Connecticut at the moment fighting off as Hawkeye mentioned... slime shooting aliens. And they also had guns. Big guns.

Hawkeye dodged an alien's punch and kicked him away before shooting him with one of his arrows. Behind him, Scarlet Witch was blasting them away while also shielding herself. "Way to start a Wednesday...", she mumbled. An alien gave a loud war cry while running at her, but soon he was laying on the ground with a bullet through his head. Scarlet looked up to see Black Widow shooting aliens left and right on top of a taxi cab.

Falcon was flying above her while Winter Soldier was a few feet away.

Captain America, Vision and Quicksilver was not too far away, clearing people out nearby buildings while also fighting aliens back. Thor, Iron Man, and War Machine were above, keeping the creatures from coming in.

"We have to find the source of this fucking portal.", Stark growled. "Stark, watch that mouth! Thor! Find out the source of that portal and shut it down!", Cap ordered.

Thor nodded and fell off, following the light green beam from behind the portal. An alien went to chase him down, but ended up with an arrow through his head, knocking him right off his hover board. Hawkeye released two more on the ones that went to follow the now dead one. "These guys just keep coming."

"You don't say. Barton, look out!", Falcon warned.

The older man turned in time for a hit of slime on the thigh. Immediately, the horrid smelling substance started to tingle at his skin, eating away at his uniform. He looked from the hole in his pants to look up at the alien. His dark orange eyes was observing the exposed skin with interest. Hawkeye blushed, using his arrow and bow to cover his exposed thigh. "Hey! Pervert!"

The alien shrugged at him, quite comically, before aiming his gun at him. Hawkeye was faster and shot him in the chest with one of his electric arrows. Another one came up from behind and hooked his arms around his shoulders. The archer struggled out of the hold, but then, the alien spewed slime on his shoulders, one after the other. "Damn it! The one day I did wear sleeves!", the man hissed. He reached for his gun since his bow was out of reach and shot the alien in his neck and then shooting it again in the head.

Quicksilver came up from behind just as the dark material covering the older's shoulders melted away. His dark blue eyes lingered on the bare skin for a minute before he noticed the slightly shorter male glaring at him. "Um..."

"Keep your eyes away from my body. You're making me uncomfortable."

The younger male continued to stare for a couple of more minutes before snapping his blue eyes up to Clint's darker greenish ones. "Sorry. It looks so smooth. I wonder…" He reached out to touch Clint's thigh, but his fingers were instantly slapped away. "Hey! None of that! No touchy!"

Hawkeye then realized that it was suddenly quiet except for the sound of small flames and people murmuring under their breaths about what happened. He looked up at saw a small beam of a green light, signaling that the portal was now closed and the battle was over.

He had let out a relieved breath, collapsing against an abandoned car. "Finally. Cap, what's your next order?", he asked through the link.

"SHIELD's on their way, so we have to wait for them before heading back to the Tower.", the other blonde answered back as the heroes began to regroup.

Tony had spotted Clint's uniform and had to question about it. "What the hell happened to you?"

Clint glanced down at his thigh, then his shoulders and groaned in displeasure. "I got attacked by some acidic slime. It didn't burn me to say the least, but it ate away at my clothes."

"That's shitty. The one time you do wear sleeves.", Rhodey commented as his helmet flipped up. Clint gave him the finger. Seconds later, he felt a cloth touching his bare shoulders. He looked over his shoulder to see Pietro placing his jacket on him. That caused the older man to blush a bit at the smirk he was receiving. "Um… thanks?"

"No problem, little hawk."

"Don't call me that."

* * *

Two hours had passed since the attack. The team was back at the Tower, during whatever to pass the time while they were waiting for their pizza. Sam and Bucky were helping Rhodes move into his room since he was now officially moving into the Tower. Natasha, Steve, Thor, and Loki were within the den watching 'Nanny Diaries'. Thor had commented, "Steve, you and the Lady of Widows are courting?!" (1)

Of course, Steve quickly answered with a negative and commented on him liking someone else. The question was whether he was lying or not. Steve seem pretty asexual nowadays. That's quote-unquote from Tony and Bucky.

Wanda and Vision had walked in to join them after spending a moment of silence together. Weird to say the least.

Bruce, Tony, Pietro and Clint were down in the lab. Clint was watching as Bruce looked at the damaged uniform of his while Tony was taking notes and Pietro sat back. More so to ogle at the hanging off the shoulder tee the archer was wearing with added on sweats.

"So... how long do I have to wait for a new uniform? Or that one to repair?", Clint as Bruce stepped back and took off his glasses. The doctor glanced his way and then looked back at the dark purple and black cloth. "A while. Fury was informed and he has Coulson and Romanoff looking in for another uniform for you. For now, you have to settle in for a replacement."

Clint pouted at that. He truly loved his black and purple uniform. So hearing the news he had to have a replacement was... kind of heartbreaking. His bow and arrows wasn't the only things that made him Hawkeye.

"Shit..."

"Sucks, doesn't it, Hawky?", Tony taunted with a smirk. Clint gave him the bird... pun intended. "Whatever."

 **"Sir, Agent Romanoff and Agent Coulson are here. They requested permission to enter the lab."** , Friday announced with a bit of a sassy tone. Tony either didn't catch it or chose to ignore it. He was used to AI's and their personalities. "Let them in. Probably about Clint's uniform..."

The door opened with a swishing sound, allowing the said two agents to walk in. Natasha was holding a black box under her arm, a small smile on her face. To Bruce, that was NOT good.

"I'm surprised you actually asked to come into Tony's lab.", the doctor chuckled a little. Phil shrugged. "Eh. We decide to leave the sneaking in to Clint here. And speaking of whom..."

"We got you a new uniform!", the solo female said. She tossed the box into Clint's hands, who easily caught it. He sat it down on the table and opened it. Looking inside, moving the paper out the way, his blueish green eyes widened at the first glance.

"Holy... Natasha!"

"What?"

Clint looked at her, Phil, and back into the box. "You know. After designing Cap's first uniform, I thought Fury wouldn't allow you to make anymore. I guess he loves his agents to feel embarrassed."

"Ooh! Lemme see!"

Pietro went to peek over Clint's shoulder, but the archer moved in time. He held the now closed box into his arms, hugging it to his chest. "Fuck no."

"Really?"

"It's not going to happen."

"It will eventually. Fury expects you to wear that replacement until your original uniform is fixed.", Phil reminded, taking the said damaged clothes into his hands and folding them the best way. Clint sighed. "Damn it."

* * *

Truth to Thor, it had been two whole weeks since then. Clint was actually beginning to feel relieved that he didn't have to wear the replacement. He really couldn't look into the box and others couldn't help but try to. It was getting to the point when he had to install arrow traps.

Pietro, surprisingly, was the first one to get caught in one of them.

He was anxious. But now, he got a chance to see it.

* * *

"No! Please, let me stay out this one!"

"Barton! You know that is highly impossible! The team needs you! Now go suit up!"

"Fury!"

"GO!"

Clint huffed, crossing his arms as he followed his group out the room. He was really hoping he didn't have to do this. To embarrass himself like this. All because it started with some perverted aliens wanting to spit acidic slime on his other uniform. Damn it all!

"Clint, it can't be all that bad.", Steve said with sympathy, placing a hand on Clint's shoulder. He hoped he was easing the other blonde, but with Clint still pouting, he had his doubts.

"It _is_ all that bad, Steve. Phil and Natasha... well... I know them. They _purposely_ did this to me.", the archer responded as he walked into one of the rooms to change. He stared at the black box, knowing Natasha was certainly the one to place it there, and groaned. It was sitting on the table, _mocking_ at him. **"Wear me, Clint! Wear me and love me!"** , it seem to say. Steve watched as Clint banged his head at the table. He had jumped back a little from the harsh metallic thud, but choose to worry about Clint injuring himself before a mission first.

"Clint, are you-"

"Just leave so I can change. I have to savage up some of my dignity."

Steve nodded, quickly leaving the room. Clint looked back at the box and huffed deeply. He threw the lid right off and looked inside. "Alright. I might as well get this over with. The longer I delay, the longer I get my other uniform back."

He then regret even thinking those words before they came out his mouth a little while later.

* * *

Clint had met the others on one of the Quinjets after his struggling episode of his replacement uniform. The team didn't even have to utter a word for him to know what they were thinking. Just by their wide eyes and open mouths he knew.

He blushed, adjusting his weight on his right foot nervously.

"Don't. I know you all, except Nat, are baffled by... this.", he added, signing his hands up and down his body.

Tony shook his head quickly. "Oh dear, Hawky, my boy. We're way beyond baffled."

Clint was adorned in all black, skin tight leather. His pants were designed like his SHIELD uniform (which 'magically' disappeared somehow), tucked into black ankle boots he usually wore on missions. His top was a leather jacket with short sleeves and straps. It also had two zippers on the same zipper. (Wow! Mouthful!) One was pulled up to the bottom of his collarbone while the other stayed down to where his belly button would be. If he wasn't wearing an undershirt it would have shown his cute little button. Though it looked to be a professional uniform, it came off a little like... a club outfit.

"Looks good, Barton.", Natasha teased, refusing to let out a giggle at Clint's increasing blush. It was actually starting to match Steve's concerned one.

"Shut it, Romanoff! It's all your fault! You and Coulson are trying to ruin me! You know how many agents flirted with me on the way here? Huh? One even pushed me against a wall and almost dry humped me! He would have succeeded if Hill didn't show up!"

"You'll thank me later. Besides, would you have rather fought in the nude?", the redhead asked. Clint grumbled. "I feel almost in the nude. The only thing not wrong with this... thing is that it's not itchy... or uncomfortable."

"Whoa. I'm going to lie about this because I just can't.", Pietro spoke up while his blue eyes lingered up and down the older male's body. "Waiting two whole weeks just to see you in _this_ was totally worth it. You look quite sexy in leather, little hawk."

Wanda and Natasha smirked while Thor, Steve, and Sam exchanged glances. Rhodey and Vision looked quite indifferent about the situation. Bruce looked sympathetic. Tony and Bucky was chuckling in a corner.

Clint growled under his breath, promising himself to grant some death wishes later. He walked over past Steve and sat down, crossing his limbs and turning his head to avoid the others' gazes. "I know how Stripperella feels now." (2)

"You know you're loving the almost nude thing, Clint, just as much as Erotica does. I'm sure this will all turn out great in the end! Just suck it up.", Natasha argued. The older sighed, knowing no matter how much he protested against her, there was no way what he said was getting to her. Natasha is the definition of an impenetrable wall. A wrecking ball couldn't bring her down.

"Fine! But just to let you know, I'm only wearing this because I have no other uniform to wear."

"I can live with that."

"Are we done here? Because electric mutant eel heads to destroy."

* * *

The team was currently finishing up the job by the time four o'clock rolled around. Everyone was bruised and exhausted after fighting electrical mutant eels that Doctor Doom had managed to conjure up.

"Remind me to torment Richards the next time I see him. We're fighting _his_ fucking enemy! HIS! WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"Stark, watch that mouth! Focus on those eels!"

Over the link, the team could hear grumbling. "Whatever."

"Hey! Doom's trying to get away!", Hawkeye shouted. He shot an arrow out onto Doom's hover board. Seconds later, it exploded, resulting in Doom falling from the sky. Falcon easily caught him, setting the metallic villain down for Barnes to cuff him. "Might as well call off the bots, dude. We have you now."

Doom smirked (if you could tell), laughing. "Ha! You may have captured me, but my robotic eels are still in play!"

As if on cue, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Captain America and Falcon were grabbed by at least two bots each. They easily got out of their holds, destroying the bots without breaking a sweat. However, another grabbed Hawkeye from behind. The archer turned around and shot it before kicking it in the head. When it went down, some of the leather material the man was wearing was ripped off, revealing his toned stomach and slightly curvy hips.

Out of shock, Hawkeye squeaked, blushing brightly. "Now this has gone too far! What is with bad guys wanting to rip my clothes off?!"

"You're sexy. There's no denying it.", Quicksilver teased, pinching at Barton's cheek. He stepped back when the older man tried to bite his finger off. "Hey!"

"Stop calling me that!"

The male twin held up his hands in surrender. "Alright. Alright."

Scarlet had floated beside the two as the last of the two Doom eel bots were destroyed. "You know, you two would make such a cute couple. And Clint, you should wear leather more often."

"No! To both of those statements!", the older quickly protested. He turned on his heel to approach the arriving SHIELD van. The Maximoffs watched after him, the male half grinning. "He's in denial."

* * *

A day later, the team had woken up to the smell of smoke coming from the kitchen. Steve and Thor had rushed in, shield and hammer ready for action. "Who?! What?! Where?! When?! And how?!", Bruce shouted after them. The others soon fell in, ready to battle. Natasha had aimed her gun at the source of the smoke, but settled it down when she saw it was no real threat.

"Clint, what the hell?", she asked, gesturing to the nice little pile in front of him.

Clint was on the floor, a lighter in his hands, watching a black flaming pile in a large metal pot burn in the inside. He had a creepy satanic grin on his face, too. But what really topped the cake was Loki sitting there with him, eating cookies after dipping them in Nutella.

The archer looked up and shrugged. "My other uniform got delivered and I wanted to celebrate by burning this very horrid one!"

Pietro had immediately screamed, falling to his knees in sadness. "NNNOOOOO! WHY MUST I BE PUNISHED SO?!", he cried out before collapsing against the tiled floor. Wanda hid her grin behind a fist while the others blinked at Pietro in disbelief. Thor looked at the others and back at the speedster. "What ails the fast one?"

Clint sighed. "He's just disappointed because I burned the uniform that he was getting off from, Thor."

"I WAS NOT!", the younger protested. Thor scratched behind his neck, utterly confused now. "Getting off?"

"Thor... let's just say that Pietro is quite fond of our little hawk archer.", Sam said, patting the thunder god's broad shoulder. Thor nodded.

Steve had crossed his arms and turned on his heel. "Clint, make sure you clean that up!"

The archer was more than happy to. He got rid of the leather nightmare and got his other uniform back. With improvements!

Although... Pietro did cry that night and other nights to come.

* * *

 **Saw Ted 2 and watched some of the special features. Well... Cap, Thor and the Black Widow are guests at Comic Con! It wasn't the actual actors though. People were dressed like them. On the little clip I watched though one of the characters said that Thor was hot. Yes, yes he is.**

 **But is anyone else in their feels about the upcoming Cap movie? I know I am. So much shit is about to go down. Shippers (including myself) are about to go whacko over this film. I sense it!**

 **(1) Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson had played in "Nanny Diaries" together before they were even casted to be in the Avengers. So My Romanogers Shippers I recommend this movie.**

 **(2) Believe it or not, but there is a character named Stripperella. And her creator happens to be Stan Lee! I'm not joking either. Her show is a more sane version of Drawn Together. She's a stripper, but also a hero. Her voice is played by Pamela Anderson, who they also modeled Stripperella after. Her citizen name is Erotica Jones. Although, she isn't considered to be a MCU character. She's creating by Stan Lee, but she's not a MCU character. But if she was, she'd probably have Cap blushing up a storm and Tony thanking God he was a man.**

 **REVIEW!**


	4. The Usual Morning

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Yeah... Don't own. well, except for Agent Rene Jadeson. He's serving as the Leia Fury for this fic of mine.**

 **Notes: We can admit that Phil is a pretty calm guy. Adorkable, too. But he can be pretty scary at times. Hell, Loki looked a little frighten at the gun being pointed at him by Phil! And I love Maria. She's beautiful and hardcore. I can see why she's Fury's right hand girl. I wrote this chapter in favor of my favorite agents.**

 **Warnings: Nothing too big for this chapter really. Just cussing and some minor violence. Also a minor spoiler for Captain America 2: Winter Soldier for those who haven't seen it. It's pretty small.**

* * *

Chapter 4 - The Usual Morning

Wide hazel eyes stared at the item in his hands. It was a mug. A red, white, and blue mug with the intials "P.C." on it. The young agent could only look at it. He seen many strange mugs. Hell, there's one inside the cupboard that was shaped like a dog's skull. However, this mug he held was... kind of cute. He was curious as to who it belonged to.

It was obvious that it belonged to a Cap fan, hence the colors and the words "SERVING AMERICA!" on the side of it. But there was so many Captain America fans here at the HQ. So who was it?

"Ah. I see you found his coffee mug."

The brunet turned around and found his handler, Maria Hill walking up to him. She had the usual cool and collected exposure with a small grin on her face. Dressed in her usual black catsuit with her dark chocolate colored hair in a bun. "I bet you're wondering whose is it, aren't you, Jadeson?" The younger nodded. He placed the mug back into the cupboard before grabbing a vacant black one. "Sorry. I was a bit curious. It's the first time I seen the mug here."

"Coulson must have left it here. It belongs to him."

Jadeson blinked. He looked back at the tri-colored cup and back at Hill. "Coulson? As in Agent Phil Coulson?"

"Yup. That's him."

"I didn't know he was a Captain America fan.", Jadeson answered honestly with a light blush. Maria patted his shoulder. "He doesn't make it _that_ obvious. Also, you only been here for two days so far. It's not a requirement for you to know that." She looked over to where the coffee machine was and frowned. "Oh dear."

Jadeson followed her gaze and noticed that the coffee machine container was half way filled with coffee, but there was empty filters and coffee boxes scattered on the countertop. Maria sighed deeply, rubbing her forehead with her fingers. "Some of these people have no concern for decency."

"I didn't even notice, Agent Hill. Honestly, I came here for orange juice. I don't have a big taste for coffee. Although I love frappes."

"Well, that's one less person we have to worry about for coffee. When there's no coffee, that equals a war. A much bigger war than Ultron's robot army and Loki's Chituari combined."

Hazel eyes widened. "That bad?"

"Oh yeah."

"Oh dear."

Jadeson knew that it meant for a much needed coffee run.

* * *

The day started out pretty good for Phil. He woke up on the right side of the bed this morning, with a nice hot shower, and a shirt that didn't need to be iron.

So no doubt in his mind that today was going to be an awesome day.

He had prepared himself a bagel breakfast and found that there was no coffee left to go with it, though. But he shrugged it off. He figured he could get some when he got to Headquarters. He probably wouldn't have time to head to a coffee shop. No need to fret though.

The agent quickly made sure he was ready for another day of work. He had a feeling Nick had some paperwork that needed to be done due to recent disasters. Those involved being the Hulk, Thor, and Iron Man. But hell. Not even those three can get him out his happy mood!

Phil drove to work happy, humming to a very mellow song that played on the radio. It was a bright sunny day in the north side of New York. A clear sky, fresh air (with a hint of pizza), and singing animals. Okay, no singing animals, but it was still a cheerful day. Phil had soon arrived to the HQ. Outside, troops were doing their daily jog with Steve. Some were at the shooting range with Natasha, Bucky and Clint. Sam was probably flying nearby with Vision and Rhodey for another scoop of the scene. The Twins were doing who knows what and the Science Bros (Bruce and Tony) were more likely in the lab.

Nothing too unusual.

The agent headed inside, greeting others on his way to meet Fury about anything. He found the eye patch wearing man with Maria in the meeting room. Nick was reading some contents within a manila folder. Maria looked uneasy, pressing her fist to her mouth in thought while staring at the glass window.

Phil became concerned, but wasn't going to make any quick assumptions. "Morning, boss.", he greeted, catching the duo's attention. Fury nodded back. "Morning, Coulson. I have something for you to review for me."

"I'll get to it. I just need to get some coffee from the kitchen."

"NO!"

Maria sped over to the entrance of the room and blocked the other's way from exiting. Nick was even a bit taken back. Phil blinked in surprise, seeing the panic across Hill's face.

"Hill? Is something the matter?"

"Uh... no. Just... I haven't gotten a hug from you, yet!", she answered. She wrapped her arms around him, patting his back. "You're a good friend, Phil. Very good friend."

"Um..." Phil was blushing brightly from his ears to his neck. He really wasn't the one for physical affections. "Thanks..."

He removed the younger off of him and continued his way to the kitchen.

Maria sighed, looking back at Fury who was trying to decipher her earlier actions. "Hill? What the hell was that?"

The brunette collasped into a nearby chair.

"The effort to prevent hundreds of people dying today, sir."

* * *

The young agent tapped lightly on his chin, pondering on which coffee mix to choose from. After leaving the HQ, Rene had found himself in the aisle of a supermarket. He counted it as his first mission from how his handler frantically described the disasters that will come if there was no coffee. He worried him to higher levels. The last thing SHIELD needed was an all out war for coffee.

"I'm glad I'm not addicted to that stuff.", he muttered to himself. He picked up both the red and blue containers and placed them in the basket. After that, he headed to the pastry area for doughtnuts. He figured since he was already here for coffee, why not pick up some doughtnuts?

On his way, he had heard a bellowing voice with an added calmer one in one of the other aisles. The breakfast aisle in fact. He peeked in down the aisle and found two rather tall males.

One of them was blonde, dressed in a red muscle tee, jeans, and his hair tied back, some of the strands falling gracefully on his handsome face. The other was just as equally handsome, dressed in a dark green dress shirt, black pants and his dark ebony hair brushed back. Just the sight of them almost made Rene feel a bit shorter and submissive.

While they towered over six feet, Rene was just 5'5''. The blonde was quite a god with muscles that rivaled Hercules. The other was much slender, like Rene, but unlike him, Rene was more curvy with some bit of muscle.

Truth be told, they both reeked of superiority.

"I can't quite understand your obsession with this food.", the ebony haired one sighed, rubbing his forehead. The blonde patted him on the back. "Aye, brother! It is a fine food! You should partake in a feast with one of them."

"I have no desire to eat this tart of pop. Why did I bring myself here with you anyways?"

"Entertainment?"

"Ah."

The two stood there in silence for a bit, just staring at the many blue boxes of the different flavored poptarts. When it hit the two minute mark, the blonde spoke up again. "I am at fault of which to purchase."

"Well, I don't know which one you should."

"Maybe I could help?", Rene offered as he approached the two. The two looked down at him. The blonde nodded quickly. "I thank thee for your assistance. May I ask the name of you?"

"It's Rene. Rene Jadeson.", the younger replied. He looked at the poptarts for a brief moment. He realized how weird this situation was. He was helping some stranger choose a box of poptarts. First, the coffee. Now this.

Is being a SHIELD recruit this... unusual?

"How about... this flavor? S'mores are personally a favorite of mine.", Jadeson said, picking up the box and handing it over. The blonde looked at it and smiled. "I do believe I heard Lady Wanda mentioning the deliciousness of this so-more."

"S'more."

"S'more.", the taller repeated. The slightly shorter male, grabbed his wrist. "Now that you got your... treat, can we take our leave now, Thor?"

Rene did a retake. He looked between the two before asking, "Wait... Thor? You're Thor?"

"The Mighty Thor! Son of Odin! And wielder of Mjlonir! 'Tis is my brother, Loki!", Thor bellowed, hugging Loki with one arm. The other immediately begin to struggle. "I reckon you heard of us?"

"Well, before I have been recruited for SHIELD, yes I have."

"SHIELD? Ah, I see Fury has included a new member to the boy band.", Loki teased. "I do say though, you seem quite an intelligent mortal. To gain knowledge of us."

Rene shrugged. "I also had a taste for mythology. But since the attack of New York, I realize you guys weren't a myth to begin with." He then turned on his heel to walk off. "I better get back though. If I don't make in time with this coffee, from what Agent Hill told me, a couple of people might end up in the clinic today."

The two gods watched as the younger male disappear out the aisle. Loki smirked, crossing his arm. "Quite the fellow, isn't it?"

"I agree, Loki! He has an exquisite taste!"

Loki turned to find Thor eating the unpaid box of s'more poptarts.

"NO! THOSE HAVE TO BE PAID FOR!"

* * *

"Maria Hill, I don't think this is necessary. The kitchen is that way."

"Yeah, but I think we should see what... um... Rogers is up to! You know you would like to speak to the great Captain America, right?"

"That would be great if I didn't have an urgent matter to attend to. Which I have to deal with over some coffee."

Phil moved out of Maria's grip and turned to the right direction of the kitchen. Maria had let out a nervous squeal before grabbing the older and hiking him over her shoulder. Which was oddly weird because Maria shouldn't be able to carry Phil like that. Then again, she did managed to carry Fury out the hospital after he was shot by Bucky.

That wasn't too difficult.

"HEY! HILL! PUT ME DOWN, DAMN IT!"

"Cap would be highly disappointed in your language, Coulson.", Maria voiced, trying to distract Phil onto another topic. That didn't seem to work though.

"LADY, I JUST WANT SOME COFFEE! I WOKE UP IN A GOOD MOOD, BUT YOU'RE RUINING IT!"

Maria yelped when Phil managed to escape her carrying hold and ran down the hall. She gave chase, catching onto his heels. "No! Phil, don't go into the kitchen!"

* * *

On the other side of the HQ, a small slender figure traveled through the halls with speed in his steps. In his hands, he carried a bag of coffee and two boxes of doughtnuts. Some of the agents had smelled the fresh baked doughtnuts and began to follow the younger agent to the kitchen.

Rene had noticed and sighed, resisting the urge to throw the doughtnuts and coffee.

"This has to be the weirdest morning for me by bars none.", he muttered to himself as he entered the kitchen. He turned in time to see some of the agents fall in. Phil and Maria also came in, the latter trying to pull the older back out by his jacket. "Please, Coulson! You're not going to-"

"Agent Hill, I brought doughtnuts.", Jadeson announced. Maria had let go of Phil when she noticed the coffee sitting by the brewing machine and agents munching on doughtnuts. The doughtnuts were also varied in icing and flavor. "Um... wow."

Phil looked over to Maria, an eyebrow raised in question. "So? What was that all about?"

Maria scratched the back of her head and gave an added nervous chuckle. "Nothing. Just... uh..."

"I decided to surprise you with some doughtnuts, Agent Coulson. Agent Hill was trying to distract you.", Jadeson chimed in, covering for his boss. Coulson looked between the two and shrugged. "Hm. Thank you, agent. May I ask who you are?", he asked just as Steve, Natasha, Clint, Bucky, Tony and Bruce came in.

"Jadeson. Rene Jadeson. This is my third day working here at SHIELD. Agent Hill's been assigned as my handler."

"Wait! Your first name is Rene?", Clint asked in mid bite of a doughtnut. Said male nodded with a small blush. "Yeah. My mom thought it was beautiful and my dad wanted a 'R' name. I know it's a bit girly."

"I agree with your mother. It is a beautiful name.", Steve smiled, catching a water bottle Natasha tossed at him. Tony then decided to speak. "Wait. What's your middle name?"

"Daniel. It's Daniel."

Tony and Clint exchanged glances. "No flipping way! Your intials are RDJ!"

"I get that."

"I don't.", Bucky voiced. "What's with his intials are RDJ?"

"There's an actor named Robert Downey Jr. whose intials are also RDJ. Tony swears he looks just like him.", Natasha said. "I do! And he's a great actor!", Tony added.

"Anyways, what made you want to join SHIELD?", Bruce asked the newly recruited agent. Jadeson sat down next to Maria who was watching Phil drink his coffee happily from his Cap mug. "Well, about five months ago, after I graduated college, I had been traveling in Belguim with my mother. We both got caught in a crossfire with a group of HYDRA troops who captured us along with some others."

"I remember that.", an agent piped up. "It was crazy."

"Yes, it was. They had locked us up in some weapon room with rope around our wrists. Unfortunately for them, my father had taught me a thing or two about escaping and some things on weapons. So I broke free of my bonds and helped the others. I managed to take down the guys that watched us and some more when we got out the room. There was only about seven of us that were held hostage so it was easier than expected."

"Okay. Now I remember. You guys were waiting just outside the place when SHIELD arrived. And thanks to you, no life was taken from innocent people.", Natasha added. "My question is though, how come you just started working for SHIELD?"

"Jadeson had disappeared after that. With everything going on, it took a while to actually find him.", Maria answered.

"Hm. Well, now that you are here, be warned. You're going to witness the strangest things here. Especially since you are Maria's trainee. You're going to see a lot of the Avengers.", Phil said. "Those two are primarily the causes.", he taunted, pointing to Clint and Tony.

"Hey!"

Rene just waved the older agent off. "Nothing I can't handle. Besides, I already met two Norse gods earlier."

"You met Thor and Loki? Personally?", a female agent asked. Rene nodded. "Yup. Thor was buying poptarts."

"That guy and his poptarts.", Steve muttered, walking out the room. He passed two agents that swooned after him and fainted. Bucky laughed at Steve's cluelessness to it. "Only the great Captain America wouldn't notice the lust people have for him."

Rene's hazel eyes widened. "Wow. I didn't notice. Now I know why Agent Coulson is a fan of his."

"It's not because of that!"

"Right. Sure it isn't.", Tony sassed. "All of us can admit that we dreamt or thought about taking Golden Boy's virginity at least once."

"Even you, Stark?"

"Probably more than once. Hey, opposites attract."

It then proclaimed that every morning at the SHIELD Headquarters was never going to be a normal one.

* * *

 **Well, chapter four is done! I had thrown in the RDJ thing. It was kind of last minute. So, should Rene be a reoccurring character? Just give me some input.**

 **Also, I want to thank those for reviewing, making this fic a favorite, and following it. I totally appreciate it.**

 **Review!**


	5. Little Miss Giggles

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **I don't nothing! Nothing I tell you!**

 **Notes: It was fun to write this chapter. Natasha is usually a serious, cold character when written about or portrayed. But if you noticed in my fics, she's more laid-back. Well, she's about to be even more so. Not as much, but she's still going to be laid-back. Also, this chapter a bit shorter than my others.**

 **Warnings: Bit of OOCness added into the mix with other previous warnings.**

* * *

Chapter 5 - Little Miss Giggles

When it happened, no one wanted to believe it. It was actually frightening to think about it. More frightening then how the situation started.

It had begun with the group occupying space in the den. Each were taking turns with playing Mario Kart on the console. At the moment, it was Pietro and Tony. "You're going to lose, Stark. I will be victorious!"

"Just because you're the fastest on feet, doesn't make you the fastest on the track. I've been on a racecar track. Thank you very much!"

"But wasn't there an accident even before the first lap was finished?", Steve asked innocently. And it really was. Tony flicked him off without taking his eyes off the screen. "Shut it, Rogers."

"I'm just asking, Tony. I was only asking from what I heard from Pepper."

At the loveseat, said woman chuckled when Tony stared back at her. "Pepper!"

"Steve's too adorable sometimes."

"Agreed.", the others voiced. The captain could only blush.

Pietro coming up behind Tony's kart, the character being Dry Bones while the younger male was Baby Mario, just as Tony attacked him and other racers with a bomb. "Just wait, Tony!" The speedster had gotten a power-up. Revealing to be the winged blue shell. Tony gasped. "You wouldn't dare!"

"I would." Pietro let it loose, watching as the shell sped off, found Dry Bones and attacked him. That gave Pietro a chance to speed past Tony and win first place.

"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!", the older cussed.

"I win!"

"You fucking let a fucking blue shell at me! What the fuck?!"

"That's how you're supposed to win.", Rhodey said. He gotten the wheel from Tony, replacing him while Sam replaced Pietro. The twin went to go take a seat between his sister and Clint, but stopped midway over. His blue eyes widened in shock, stepping away quickly. Bruce noticed his discomfort. "Pietro, what's wrong?"

The younger male pointed to the spot on the couch. "Kill it."

"Kill what?", Bucky asked. Clint had followed Pietro's finger and spotted what he was suddenly so afraid of. Wanda spotted it, too, and quickly jumped up. She jumped onto Vision's back, hooking her arms around his neck. "No! No! Kill it!"

"Natasha, a friend of yours is here to see you.", Clint voiced before he took a sip of his soda. Natasha looked over and saw that it was a black widow spider. Pretty soon everyone else noticed and backed away. Well, Steve stayed put. He kept his attention on a recent picture he was sketching. And Thor, he served as a shield for Pietro.

The redhead woman shook her head in disbelief. She got up from her spot and went over to Clint's area. She took a magazine off the table and gently pushed the spider onto the magazine and carried the small creature to a nearby window. "There you go, girly. You go back out to the big world now.", she cooed. She watched as the creature she was named after took off down a railing and disappear from sight.

She went back to the others and found them returning to their seats.

"Is it gone?", Tony asked, cuddling up to a pillow while leaning onto Bruce.

Natasha nodded. "Yup. It's gone."

"Good. Last time I encountered a spider it bit me and I was hospitalized for about a week.", Pietro grumbled.

"Okay. I get his deal, and probably Wanda's. But the rest of you are grown men. Well, Thor didn't look all that scared. And Steve stayed put as well as Clint. Hell, Pepper stayed where she was."

"I dealt with scarier.", the older redhead claimed, flipping through the magazine Natasha used a while ago. "I have to have a backbone with what I go through."

"Precisely. It's almost... tee hee."

Everyone had frozen on the spot. Did she just...? No way!

Sam glanced at everyone, noting they looked just as confused as he did. He bit his lip, nodding his head over to the subject of the new matter. "Did that sound just come out of _her_?", he asked. "I don't want to say it was from Natasha because I do want to live.", Bucky answered.

Natasha cleared her throat. "I am human, people. I will laugh once in a while."

"Yeah, but your laughs are more... sinister. That wasn't a laugh. That, my good lady, was a fucking giggle. The sound that comes out of teenage girls and babies. Oh and Wanda.", Tony pointed out. He quickly dodged a remote heading his way. It ended up hitting Thor in the chest who didn't seem bothered by it.

"Just to let you know, if you break it you buy it.", the billionaire teased.

"Oh. So if I break all your limbs I get to buy them and mount them on my wall like trophies?", Natasha playfully threatened. Actually she meant it.

Clint applauded her. "I'll be the first to take pictures!"

"I actually need my limbs. So those you can't break and buy."

"Stark, you're unbelievable sometimes." Natasha had let out another giggle. A bit louder than the first. Wanda backed away from her. "There's that sound again!"

"Um... is anyone else thinking that maybe Natasha was kidnapped and replaced with a clone or something?", Rhodey asked.

"Brainwashed or something.", Bruce agreed.

Clint sighed, leaning back on the sofa pillows while his partner in crime continued... giggling. "Trust me. No one kidnapped Nat and brainwashed her. She's more human than you guys think. I know this for a fact. You guys don't know her as much as I do or as long as I have. Only little things can get a giggle out of her."

"He's right.", Natasha agreed, patting the other on the shoulder. "I mean I might be hardcore, stern and badass, but I'm laid-back, too. I'm probably more carefree than Steve here."

"Hey! I'm carefree!"

"And squeamish."

"Natasha!"

"She's cracking jokes now. Yup, it's official. She's brainwashed.", Rhodey declared.

"You are squeamish. There hasn't been one day that you haven't blushed or squealed or squirmed in your seat."

"I don't squirm. Nor do I squeal or blush.", Steve protested, crossing his arms and legs after he sat his sketchbook down. "I just... get easily surprised."

By now, Pepper had left the room. Announcing her want for a good homemade smoothie.

"Sure, I bet. Let me test that theory. Thor, besides the women and yourself in this room, who else do you find attractive?", Natasha asked. Thor was honestly caught off guard by the question. He wasn't paying any attention of what occurred for the past few minutes, but he answered none the less.

"Hm. Well, the Captain is quite attractive."

Steve glared at Natasha, a blush quickly spreading on his cheeks. "Thor, don't listen to her."

"No. Keep going! I'm enjoying this!", Bucky said. Everyone was now enjoying the torment Steve was getting, somewhat forgetting Natasha's earlier giggling fit. This was true entertainment. Natasha had a gift of making people embarrassed.

"I see. What makes him attractive?"

"He holds great character. Noble, wise, kindhearted. Why the mighty Odin would appreciate such as warrior as he."

"Uh huh. What else?"

"Steven is also quite handsome! His eyes are bluer than the thousand morning skies! His physique is built just like the mighty gods of Asgard. His hair is golden like the summer sun. And his- ARGH!"

Thor was assaulted with a pillow hitting him square in the face. Much to their shock, he was knocked out cold from it. Everyone turned to Steve who started whistling to ignore their stares. Natasha crossed her arms. "Squeamish.", she sing-songed. "You are squeamish."

"Shut it."

"Okay. I like this Natasha. We prefer this Natasha! She comes with giggles!", Sam declared. He ran over and hugged Natasha, nuzzling her cheek like a kitten. "I wuv her! I wuv her!"

Then there was an audible click. Sam's dark eyes spotted a gun pointed right at his face. "Shit."

"You have a second to back away before I shoot your face.", the redhead assassin threatened. Sam immediately backed off, going behind Bucky instead, who actually welcomed nuzzling. Vision had let out a chuckle, crossing his arms and giving his usual bland all-knowing look. "Or we could keep this Natasha. She comes with less giggles and more death threats."

* * *

 **So I was watching 'Men in Black' and had discovered it was based on a MARVEL comic. I flipping knew it. It had to be! One, it takes place in New York! Two, they wrote black suits! Three, aliens, people, aliens. Four, they're a secret government agency! Five, they seem to have the coolest technology ever! And six, which I count because I can, in the beginning when Agent Jay is taking the first test he calls another guy Captain America! See? The MIB work with SHIELD I know they do!**

 **Ooh! Seven, Tommy Lee Jones plays Agent K in MIB and later in a Marvel movie. If you can guess, you're awesome. And I might just write a chapter for you if you give a suggestion.**

 **Review, kitties!**


	6. Little Mister Blushes

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Again, don't own Avengers. But I own random characters such as Rene, who is pleasantly making an official re-occurrence. I couldn't let him go to waste. Just couldn't.**

 **Notes: This chapter is a companion/second part chapter to the last one. I thought it would be awesome to write it.**

 **Warnings: Bit of OOCness added into the mix with other previous warnings.**

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Chapter 6 – Little Mister Blushes

Truth be told, Captain America aka Steven Grant Rogers was an absolute badass. Hell, even Nick fucking Fury would agree. And his choose of weapon was a shield. No, not the agency. But a circular object used for protection. To protect America!

The blonde was brave, courageous, noble, strong, kind, selfless. Steve Rogers made have been used as a propaganda tool for the war, dressed in red, white and blue, but he built Captain America. He has shown the true definition of a hero. But he was also human.

Cap may be a little... strict and a stick in a mud sometimes, but that's when he had to be. He was a leader of a group of super powered (some) heroes. And they can get a little crazy. (Looking at you, Tony!) So can he though. He would crack jokes and play pranks. On his free time, he takes his interest in researching the modern world or taking his time working on another artwork. Or listen to Rihanna. Yeah... but, regardless of how you want to view it, Steve was indeed human.

A human man that had been frozen for 70 years. Sunk in a plane, saving the world from a red faced horrible German dude with a bad attitude. Yup. That's how it happened. And being from the 1940s and thrown into modern day is a twisty event that occurred in his life.

And with that came with his new habit he developed. Blushing.

Now in the 2000s, 2010s, people are more open about things versus way back when. The internet was a constant used tool that contribute to the sharing. People share about what they had for breakfast, new music and fashion, even their love for fluffy short legged doggies.

But there was _other_ things that were shared, too. Those were the things that made Cap blush like a schoolgirl. And his teammates enjoyed that.

* * *

"Do we really have to attend this meeting? Actually, let me rephrase this. Do we have to attend every meeting?"

"Tony, it's mandatory for us to attend. And not every meeting applies to us, so we don't attend those.", Clint had answered just as the chaotic group entered the room. Tony had gave him a roll of his eyes.

"Never took you to be a stickler for meetings, Clint."

"I'm not. I just don't to be yelled at... again. Tony, don't you have someone else to annoy?"

Brown eyes went over to a tall form of blond, blue-eyed glory. The genius smirked, sharing a look with Natasha who nodded back. "Actually, yes I do. Excuse me, Hawkman."

Clint had shouted after to not ever call him by another hero's name.

Steve had sat down at the table, Thor sitting to his left side. Sam was just about to take his right, but Tony scurried past him and took a seat in the chair. He spun in it with his legs out straight much like a child would before smirking at the younger man.

"Sorry, Sammy. There's a plan that needs to be executed."

Not in the mood to deal with a deranged brunet Arc Reactor holder, Sam just took another seat next to Bucky. Natasha had sat across from their team leader, an undeniable "up to no good" grin on her lips.

"Okay, let's get this meeting started. Agent P. Maximoff, can you and your sister stop trying to climb out the window and get back into your seats?", Maria Hill asked.

Said twins looked at her in utter shock, but sat down none the less.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Jadeson, may you pass out the documents, please?"

Rene nodded before he went to each Avenger and placed a thin packet of stapled papers in front of them. He quickly reclaimed his spot next to his boss/trainer afterwards without much of a word.

"Hey, RDJ!", Tony had greeted as the younger brunet. "Good morning, Mr. Stark. I reckon that it's going well?"

"Now it is. I wonder if Maria not only recruited you for your skills, but also your good looks. You're quite a cutie. Don't you think, Cap?"

Steve had flinched in his seat at the sudden direct question towards him. He adjusted in his seat when Tony got closer, wiggling his eyebrows at him and touching his upper arm. Across the table, Natasha was trying not to laugh. This was going perfectly.

"Uh..."

"Come on, Stevie! Just look at him! Those almond shaped hazel eyes, chocolate brown hair, light caramel skin. I mean he's attractive! Isn't he, everyone?"

The others had nodded, giving small verbal answers in agreement to Tony's statement. Even Thor had boasted, "A truly remarkable specimen!"

Rene had remained unfazed though. Not even a small just of the attention. "You are ever so blunt, Mr. Stark, but I accept your sweet gestures. Unfortunately, there's a meeting that must go on... And stop harassing Captain Rogers."

"Will do!"

Tony had stopped touching Steve's arm, but he stayed really close. Steve shifted in his seat again. He tried to strain himself from blushing anymore. He _knew_ what was going on. Ever since Natasha pointed out how squeamish he is to certain things, everyone on the team has been teasing him. Natasha was the ring leader, but Tony... Geez!

Steve feared the blood in his body will permanently stay to his cheeks if he gives into the teasing.

Worst time ever.

* * *

Maria continued on with the meeting. It was easy to lecture the team about the information she was presenting to them for at least an hour. But by that time had passed, hilarity ensued.

Steve was reading the last page of the packet when he felt something hit his forehead. A small folded yellow square landed in front of him. He looked to see who threw it, but everyone seem to be paying attention to Hill.

He was weary to open and read the contents. _'It has to be some crude comment on it. Don't pick it up, Steve. They're just trying to tempt you. You won't give into their foolishness.'_

Regardless of his thoughts, his body opposed him. Steve picked up the note, unfolded it and read it.

He bit his lip from blushing and shouting at the others for it.

The note wasn't as bad as he thought, but it still upset him.

YOU'RE SO CUTE WHEN YOU'RE FOCUSED. ESPECIALLY HOW YOUR BLUE EYES SQUINT WHEN YOU READ THE PAPER.

Whoever the culprit was, Steve was going to give them a hell of a talking. For now, he had to ignore this. He couldn't give into this silly antic. He knew that it was their... _Natasha's_ plan to get him to squirm and blush like some teenage girl in love.

No. He wasn't going to do it! He wasn't going to do it! He wasn't going to-

"Rogers, is there something you want to address?"

Steve snapped out of his inner rant when Hill spoke up. He glanced at his teammates, noticing their identical smirks (except for Vision and Bruce), and shook his head. "No, Agent Hill. Sorry."

Maria eyed him for a while before turning to Rene and nodding to him. He nodded back and headed out the room. Tony swirled in his chair to watch the younger man retreat out. He gave an impressed smirk. "Hm. Is it me or does Rene have a nice body, too? That slender waist, and firm round ass. And those legs! They're like... long! I bet they're smooth, too. I can imagine them having spre-"

"Anthony!", Steve scowled, crossing his arms to replace the blush that was going to creep on his cheeks. "Don't talk about another agent like that!"

"Technically, I'm not an agent for SHIELD. I just... hang here."

"Either way, you can be filed for sexual harassment."

Tony didn't seem bothered. Instead, he leaned even closer to Steve, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Aaaahhh, Stevie! Are you jealous?"

Steve could literally hear the mock tone behind those words. He could hear the temptation. And he'd be damned to give into it. No way was the team going to get the better of him!

"No. I'm not. Why would I be?", the blonde deadpanned, keeping a straight face.

Instead of Stark answering, Clint did. "Because Tony's practically trying to give into Rene's pants. You want him to get into yours. You want your long, smooth legs wrapped around-"

"I DO NOT! I DON'T LIKE TONY LIKE THAT!"

Maria hadn't spoke since Rene had left. She had sat down and watched the show unravel. Natasha and Wanda informed her earlier about what was going to transpire. They were right. Steve was going to try to not give in.

"Oh come on, Rogers. You so do. I see the way you eye Tony. I mean that Hersey Kiss incident gave some hints. You and Tony would make a cute couple.", Rhodey added in. "Your babies would be brunet and blue eyed."

"Shut up! Tony and I aren't... aren't dating! I know what all you are scheming! But you know what?! I won't give in! Never! Nothing you will say will get me to blush! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!", Steve hollered, now standing up. His posture was straight, but filled with anger and his crossed arms over his illegally glorious chest.

Everyone sat wide eyed. Wanda had slowly lowered her camera, but didn't put it away. It was silent for a while. The only thing you could hear was approaching footsteps and Steve's heavy breathing.

Rene had walked back in, carrying a small square box. He noticed the sudden scenery, an eyebrow raising in question.

"May I ask what just happened?"

"Oh. Steve just went on a little rant about us trying to get him to blush.", Sam answered as if it was nothing. It impressed Bucky though. The brunet simply smiled.

Rene set down the box in front of Maria and placed his hands on his hips.

"You know I'm only 24 years old, so I fear this isn't the craziness I'll ever witness in my life."

"Right! Keep working with us, you'll see and hear crazier!", Pietro answered back.

"Wait... you're 24?", Wanda asked.

Jadeson nodded. "Just graduated college."

There was a sudden grunt sound. The others turn to see Steve holding Tony down in his seat. The brunet was waving his arms to grab at Steve, his lips puckered up, too. "Come on, Capsicle. Just give into it. I know you want to fulfill those fantasies. I know you want to moan my name badly as we play pitcher and catcher."

"I don't ever want you mention anything closely related to baseball, Anthony!", Steve retorted. "You ruin it for me!"

"Tony can make you love baseball even more, Steve.", Natasha voiced. Steve glared her way. "Quiet, damn you! It's because of you he and everyone else is fucking harassing me! I know what you're trying to do, Romanoff! I admit I am... squeamish about some things but that doesn't mean you all have to tease me about it! So fuck off!"

There was a faint whistle just then from Sam. Natasha was actually taken back a bit. She sat there silent with her eyes blinking. Everyone else was just as surprised.

"Did... did he just curse?", Bruce asked. Vision nodded. "I believe so."

"Such profane language, Captain!", Thor frowned.

Steve cleared his throat, turning from the group. "I... uh... sorry. I didn't mean... I..."

"No! Don't apologize, Stevie! That was actually pretty good!", Bucky praised, clapping lightly. Steve had sat back down. "No. No. That... I wasn't myself. I was just so angry. I didn't mean to yell at you, Natasha."

"Rogers, that was actually very impressive. No one has ever yelled at her like that before. Not even Fury couldn't do that.", Maria added in.

Natasha nodded. "Yup. But it was worth it! I got what I wanted!"

"And what's that?", Rene asked.

The older agent pointed Steve's way. He looked so ashamed for yelling and using profanity. He was doing exactly what he has been trying not to do for the past few days. He was blushing. His whole face was red, his lips turned in a frown.

Everyone wanted to awe so bad at how cute their leader looked.

Even though he was sad now.

"Aw, Steve! Don't be upset! Look! Natasha isn't mad at you!", Pietro reasoned.

"But I cursed at her! A lady! That is disrespectful!", Steve protested.

"Steve, I know you're sweet and all, but Natasha isn't no...", Clint started as his eyes wondered over to his best friend. Natasha was giving him a deadly glare which made him silence himself.

Maria shook her head. She stood up and addressed the team. "Alright. You guys are dismissed. Come on, Jadeson. I'd like to go get some lunch."

"Yes, ma'am."

The duo left the room, leaving the team to their own devices. Bucky looked around the room before standing up. "Well, I guess we should go now." He then shot a look over to Steve and Tony. "Besides, I don't think we're ready for the meeting room to be _christened_ by Tony and Steve. Anyone want to witness public baby making?"

"James Buchanan Barnes! Please!", Steve scowled. If continued that blushing, it just may become permanent.

Bucky laughed before leaving the room with the others following. Steve and Tony were left at the table. The blonde sighed, flopping his head down on the table. "Can this day get any more worse for me?"

Tony stared down at the blonde for a moment before his signature grin appeared. "Well-"

"Don't. Just don't, Tony."

* * *

Later that night, the maniacs found themselves indulged in a movie and some snacks. For his sake, Steve stayed in the far corner in a lounge chair. He made sure _no one_ was a yard close to him.

"Hey, Steve! Care for some-"

"No.", the captain deadpanned, interrupting Clint from asking his question. The archer pouted. "Aaahhh. Are you still mad?"

Steve didn't answer. Instead, he glared at the other before looking back at the television.

It was silent again except for the actors on the big screen and wrinkling of chip bags. Suddenly, Tony yelled out, "Here comes the best part! Capsicle, you're going to love this!"

Truth be told, Tony's statement caught his interest. He stared at the screen, noticing a shirt flying across it. "What the...?"

Then there was a sound of pants being unzipped. Then a thud of clothes falling to the floor. A creaking of the bed and-

"OH MY GOODNESS! WHAT KIND OF MOVIE IS THIS?!"

"Steve, it's a suspense/romance film. It's bound to have sex in it.", Sam answered, preventing a smirk appearing on his face. Steve's blue eyes widened as the couple on the screen began their touching and kissing. His cheeks heated up at the moans that began to come up. "They're really doing it."

"That's CG right there. I see no-"

"Wanda!"

"Sorry, Vision."

"Hey, Steve. How are you over there?", Bruce asked out of sympathy. But there was no answer. The others looked over to where Steve was sitting only to find he wasn't there. Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Friday, can you locate Steve?"

 **"He's currently in his bedroom, Miss Romanoff. He requested not to be bothered for the rest of the week and the following."**

"Thank you."

"Well, it seems we have succeeded in breaking Steve.", Bucky said with an added clap.

Clint smirked. "Mission accomplished!"

Meanwhile, a certain super soldier was planning his revenge.

* * *

 **Well, there you have it! I'm leaving it with a cliffhanger, but it won't be long before Cap has his revenge! But you still (unfortunately) have to wait for it.**

 **Review!**


	7. The Itsy Bitsy Peter I Mean Spidey

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **If I owned Avengers, I wouldn't have to write this... okay, maybe I would. But I own the OC villains.**

 **Notes: There will be a star appearance by certain Marvel character. If you read the title of this chapter, you already know who they are. Also, I want to point out that Tony and Steve aren't a couple... yet. They soon will be though. And this isn't Cap's revenge chapter! It's coming later!**

 **Warnings: Anyone who is a fan of Stony, Superhusbands, and Superfamily (like moi), get ready to be in your feels. And be prepared to read a super long chapter. By far, it's the longest!**

* * *

Chapter 7 - The Itsy Bitsy Peter... I Mean Spidey

It was the typical morning routine for the Avengers. Steve, Bucky, and Sam woke up at an ungodly hour in the morning for their jog. Tony was probably either in his lab with cups of coffee or in his room sleeping. Clint was definitely in his room/nest sleeping. Pietro was probably sleeping at the older male's door after trying to sneak in. Wanda was more likely in her room with Vision as her teddy bear. Bruce was sleep in his room after a long night in the lab with his Science Bro. Thor was snoring up a storm (pun probably was intended) in his usual messy fashion. And Natasha and Rhodey were sleeping in their individual rooms.

By 10 in the morning, most of the team was gathered in the kitchen. Steve was making breakfast while humming some recent song he heard. Natasha and Wanda was assisting while Tony, Clint, Rhodey, and Bruce drunk coffee.

Bucky and Sam were talking to each other with cups of orange juice. Once in a while, Steve would smirk at the two.

"So what's everyone's plans for the day?", Clint asked out of the blue just as everyone else came into the kitchen. Natasha shrugged, setting pancakes down on a large plate. "Well, we have no meetings today and something might not happen today. Trip to Times Square?"

"Sounds legit.", Sam answered.

"Great! Today, kiddies, we're going on a field trip!", Tony joked.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash sound of glass breaking and thuds. The team stared at each other for a minute before rushing out into the den.

* * *

"THIS ISN'T FUN AT ALL!"

"COME BACK HERE SO I CAN SQUISH YOU LIKE THE BUG YOU ARE!"

A red 'n' blue clad hero dodged a large fist heading his way. Using web, he swung from one rooftop to another. He looked back to see his huge opponent dashing his way. Above him was another with a ray gun of some sort.

"There's no point in running away, little one!", the smaller villain teased, starting his ray gun up and aiming it at the young teen. Spiderman sighed. "And to think this day was going so well.", he muttered to himself. He flipped back avoiding a blast before jumping off the building. The larger villain jumped after him and grabbed the hero.

Much to one's shock, they crashed right into the Avengers' Tower.

Spiderman rolled onto the floor, shaking himself off from the broken glass and looked up. The giant growled his way, a grin on his face. "Time for you to die, little spider!"

"Not on my floor!"

The villain was hit with a blast from across the room. Spiderman looked the other way to see the Avengers standing there. Tony had his guantlets on, the rest of the suit coming. Natasha was holding out two guns, Clint standing beside her with his bow and arrows. Wanda's hands were glowing red, her eyes matching.

"Back away from him now.", she ordered. The large evildoer laughed, standing back on his feet. "If it isn't the Avengers? What a pleasant surprise!"

"You won't be saying that for long.", Clint threatened.

The second villain appeared on his hover board. He frowned seeing the team. "Damn it."

"Just what the hell is going on?!", Bucky shouted, holding out a gun. At one point, Steve went in front of Spiderman, protecting him with his shield.

"They were terrorizing people in Times Square. My team was fighting them, but they're down and they chased me!", the teen hero protested. The larger of the evil duo scoffed. "You ran!"

"From getting myself killed, you stupid bastard! That's what you're supposed to do! Don't you have anything else better to do?!", he shouted, a bit out of breath from exhaustion.

"No. Afraid not, little spider."

Rhodey sighed sharply. "They ruined our field trip to Times Square. They have to die."

"Rhodes!"

"Not literally, Cap. Maybe."

Steve looked back at Thor. "Hey, Thor! Think you can handle the big guy?"

Thor smirked. "I faced creatures much bigger than this one. It would be a pleasure, Captain!" The thunder god called for his prized Mjolnir. It reached into his hands in seconds. He charged forward to the villain, knocking him right out the building.

The second gasped before aiming his gun at the others. "How dare you! You fools!"

"Bring it, geek!", Tony tempted behind his face plate.

The villain started his gun to shoot, but an arrow landed on his forehead before electrocuting him into shock. Clint smirked as Wanda whistled. "That has to be your favorite arrow."

"It is."

Steve took note that the scenery was clear now. Well, less chaotic. The glass was still on the floor. He looked down at Spiderman, and noticed a cut on his side and that he was unconscious now. He must have been wiped out from fighting two villains.

"Bruce, he's going to need your assistance."

The doctor nodded and had Steve follow him, carrying the teen hero in his arms.

Friday then spoke up. **"I advise that you call Director Fury about Spiderman's whereabouts."**

The remaining others exchanged looks. "Why?", Pietro questioned. **"He's part of SHIELD, Mr. Maximoff. So is his team he mentioned earlier."** (1)

It was a bit silent for a moment. Quiet enough for them to digest the new given information. "Wait. He's part of SHIELD?!"

* * *

About three hours later, it was confirmed that the spider-like hero was part of SHIELD as well as his team members. They were okay, only have been knocked out from the ray gun from the one dude earlier. Him and the other was now identified as Dr. Psychix and Stone.

Both were in SHIELD custody and Spidey's team had been released to their homes.

Spiderman, though, was still at the Avengers' Tower. He was in the clinic in one of the beds as Bruce checked him over. With Fury's permission, they had took him out his suit. Peter was still unconscious though with a cast around his leg and a bandage wrapped around his torso.

Fury was in his room, watching sternly as Bruce took notes. "He's going to be fine. He'll be out of comission for a while though due to his broken leg."

The director nodded. "Alright then. I informed his aunt about his condition."

"Does she know about him being... you know?"

"No, I hope. I gave her the story of how he got caught in the crossfire, but he was saved. She's fine with him staying at the Avengers' Tower."

"Did you talk to-"

"Okay! Where is he?!"

Nick and Bruce glanced at the entrance as the doors opened dramatically. Tony was the first to come in, followed by Steve, Natasha, Clint and Thor. Steve had glared at the brunet. "Tony, he's sleeping.", he reminded sternly. Tony waved him off.

"I see that now, Capsicle."

He walked over to Peter's side and eyed him. "Hm."

"What is it, Tony?", Natasha asked. Tony looked back at her. "This kid looks familiar."

"Well, if you read over the files I gave you weeks ago, you would know who that is.", Fury reminded. Tony pouted at him. "You know damn well I don't read those fucking papers!"

"One, language! Two, stop shouting. You're going to wake him up. Three, that's Peter Parker.", Steve informed. He stepped closer to the teen's side just as his eyes began to flutter open. He groaned at the slight pain he felt in his leg, noticing the cast. He sat up in surprise, but quickly laid back down when pain came to his side, too. "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"Careful there, kid. Dr. Banner just patched you up."

At the voice, Peter's eyes widened when he took note that he wasn't in SHIELD's usual clinic, a local hospital or home. He glanced around and saw that he wasn't alone in the room, also. "What the...? How...? What happened?"

"Well, you managed to get a broken leg and cut on your side when you crash through one of the windows. The two bad guys you were fighting are now in SHIELD custody. And you happened to be staying here at the Tower for a while.", Bruce answered. Peter looked at him and then Nick. "Um... I'm staying at here?"

"Yes, Parker. Until you recover fully. You'll be out of commission for a while. Don't worry. I informed your aunt, job and the school about your whereabouts. Your aunt will come by some time to check on you."

"Oh."

Peter stayed silent for a moment. He looked at the others. Each was staring back at him with concern written on their faces. He shifted a bit, feeling out of place. He was in the same room with the Avengers! But really it was Steven Rogers and Anthony Stark that had him feeling this way.

Sure, the other four were intimidating and just as respected by Peter.

Hawkeye was a master marksman and archer. It would have took years, probably by the time he was 40, for Peter to have that kind of skill. Black Widow, who he admits is his favorite spider, was frightening. She's the kind of woman you shouldn't ever mock. Especially if you want to live. Just her in casual clothes would give you chills. Thor was just as rumored to be. An actual god. He even held the aura of one. It truly amazed Peter that there was an actual Norse thunder conjuring god living here in New York. His physique made Peter feel smaller. And then there was Dr. Bruce Banner. Peter had read some of his work and was impressed. In fact, Bruce was one of his favorite scientists of all time. Never have he thought he would have been patched up by said man either. Bruce Banner looked calm and it was kind of hard to believe this man also became a large green giant with a temper. But it happened.

It's not everyday you get bit by a radioactive spider and inherit powers.

Now then there was Tony Stark. Peter found the man to be quite the genius. And entertaining. Tony was known to be a great engineer and philantrophist. But he had bad wraps. That didn't make Peter like him any less. If anything, he knew that Tony was this way because of his earlier years. He was neglected by his father at times. Sure, Howard loved Tony, but he didn't have the best relationship with him. Peter could relate to that.

After him, there was Steve Rogers. The first Avenger made in history. The man was a true form of what America should be. He was Captain America, after all. He was kind, noble, and courageous. And much more, but that would be a mile long list. Peter knew that this man was first used as war propoganda, much similar to how his hero persona, Spiderman, was used to make money for the Daily Bugle. And he knew that Steve had to feel out of place. Sure, now he had friends, but to be thrown 70 years into the future had to have shook him up. Peter, too, felt a little out of place. At school, in the hero world, SHIELD. Peter could relate to Steve, too.

* * *

"So...", he started with an added blush. He shifted once again, not sure if he should start a conversation. It's not everyday you get to be in the same day with your heroes. In a clinic, no less!

"Well, since you're staying here, I might as well get a room ready for you!", Tony announced cheerfully. He turned to Nick with a glare. "Though _someone_ should have informed me hours ago so I could have been started."

From his statement and tone, Peter figured that Stark was one individual that didn't mind him staying here.

Fury just glared back.

"I had to clear out some days for him first."

"I know. Not really. But I prefer my guests to be comfortable as soon as possible. Friday! Find the nearest department store!"

 **"Of course, sir."**

Steve sighed as Tony left the room. He turned to Peter, seeing he looked confused. "He's excited. Tony likes to be a great host to guests."

"Oh yeah. He's really excited.", Clint added in. "Just watch. He's going to pamper you."

"Okay. Don't scare him now.", Natasha warned. She moved past Steve to sit on the bed. She was careful to not bother Peter's leg or side. "So, we have the legendary Spiderman in the Tower with us.", she teased playfully. Peter blushed. "I'm not nearly as legendary as you guys. I mean you saved the world twice! From armies of aliens and robots! You faced terrorists, the government, dark lords, pyschos! I don't think I'll ever get to that level."

"You will.", Bruce encouraged. "Trust us. The only person who has been in the hero business for a long time is Steve."

"Are you calling me old?", Steve questioned.

"You were frozen for about 70 years. So technically you're about 90 years old.", Clint reasoned.

"But those 70 or so years he was frozen in ice. He physically wasn't doing anything. And he fought in wars. Not an alien invasion.", Peter pointed out the blue. Clint waved him off. "Whatever.", he smiled. Steve chuckled. "I like him."

"Aye! The Man of Spiders is quite amusing!", Thor agreed. Fury smirked. "Glad you're already warming up to the kid."

Peter was glad for that.

* * *

Later that night, Peter was escorted into the now fixed den to meet the others. They had easily warmed up to him, though Bucky was a bit scary at first. Sam scowled him for it later.

Everyone, minus Tony, were scattered about the room. They were getting ready to chow down on some pizza and watch a movie together. Steve had helped Peter into a comfortable lounge chair. He had then took his seat next to the teen, opening one of the boxes of pizza. "Peter, since you're the guest you can choose what movie genre we should watch."

Peter scratched the back of his head. "Um... I think it's just best if you guys choose the movie. You don't have to do this.", he admitted. Wanda stood, holding a piece of pizza in her mouth. "How does a comedy sound?", she mumbled past the pepperoni and saucy goodness. Everyone agreed to that. "Sounds good. Hey, Friday. Is Tony coming to sit with us or not?", Rhodey asked.

 **"Mr. Stark is still working on Mr. Parker's room. He rather not be disturbed."** , the female AI answered. Vision was reminded of himself everytime she spoke. Different accent, different gender, but same attitude of a typical AI of Tony Stark.

"Well, can you inform him that there's pizza?"

 **"He's on his way for it now."**

Two minutes later, Tony walked in. The team was a bit wide-eyed seeing the red and blue paint decorating his body. Including his hair. He walked over to the table, grabbed a plate and placed three pieces of pizza on it. He then walked over to Peter's side and ruffled his hair. "Almost done with your room, Petey. You'll love it.", he grinned.

"Mr. Stark, you really don't have to decorate a room for me. I'll be here for just a while."

"I like my guests to be comfortable."

"Told you.", Clint muttered.

Peter could feel Steve shift beside him. From the corner of his eye, he noticed the blonde with amusement on his face. "Tony, you are ever so generous."

"Bet your pretty, sexy little patriotic ass I am!"

Steve blushed. Peter noticed it right away. That and the others were smirking and giggling. "Tony!"

"Steve, you are sexy. And you have a fine ass! Now if you excuse me, I have to go finish Peter's room.", the brunet added. He leaned forward and took a bite out of Steve's pizza. Then he hauled ass out the room. Steve blushed even more and ran after him. "You jerk! That was my pizza!"

When the duo was out of hearing range, the team laughed. Peter sat there. He wasn't sure what just progressed, but he guessed it was a natural thing that happened here at the Tower. "Um... is there something I must know?", he asked. Pietro wiped the tears from his eyes, clearing his throat. "Besides, the fact that they just shared an indirect kiss, Steve and Tony are rather fond of each other."

"Aye! Tony is pursing Steve, but Steve is shy of his efforts of the courting.", Thor agreed. Peter tilted his head cutely. It reminded them of how Steve did. "So... they're like a couple or something?"

"Somewhat. Steve's just been playing a little hard to get. That and he's kind of blind to his own feelings for the cuckoo head we call Tony.", Bruce answered. "They just need a push."

"Oh."

Honestly, Peter wasn't sure how to feel about it. He wasn't disgusted, that's for sure. A bit excited? The thought of his two prime heroes together was kind of cool and a miracle. Maybe he secretly ships them. He could see the two as a couple. Steve was the blue to Tony's red. Tony was the excitement in Steve's life. Steve was the sugar to Tony's spice. Tony was the car in Steve's lane... Okay, the point is those two needed each other!

"Hm. I can see it.", the teen agreed. No one had noticed, but both Natasha and Sam had chilling smirks on their lips.

* * *

The very next morning, the spider-powered brunet was being escorted to the kitchen after a long brief bath and a change of clothes. Much to his puzzlement, his current clothes was a Captain America hoodie and matching shorts. He had feeling that the Black Widow had something to do with it since she was the one in his room this morning, but he let it go.

The first thing Peter was hit with was the smell of bacon and waffles. It smelt delicious and he was sure he was going to drool in the next few minutes.

He was wheeled into the kitchen and greeted immediately by Steve who happened to be the cook. "Morning, Peter. I hope you had a good night's rest."

Peter nodded as Natasha wheeled him to the table. "I did, Captain Rogers."

"Call me Steve. Captain Rogers is for when I'm on SHIELD business."

"That goes for anyone else. We're pretty casual people.", Bucky added from across the room. "Just call me Bucky though and Rhodey... Rhodey. We happened to have the same first name."

"It's James.", Rhodey added. "It blows sometimes."

"Ah. James is pretty common.", Peter agreed. Tony had walked in, minus the paint coating, looking quite pleased with himself. "Morning, everyone!", he shouted, heading over to the coffee machine. Steve raised an eyebrow. "Let me guess. You finished the room."

"Yup! And Peter's gonna love it!"

"You didn't have to do that, Mr. St- Tony."

Tony glanced at Peter from over his coffee mug. After a sip, he grinned at him. "Again, my guest should be comfortable. Also, I see that someone told you about the names."

"Steve did."

Tony looked over to the blonde. "That's unusual."

"You're unusual, Tony.", the other retorted back. "And in so many ways."

"You love me for it though.", the brunet teased. Steve bit his lip and looked away. Beside Peter, Natasha cleared her throat. "So Peter, anything you want to do today?", she asked. Peter shrugged. "I don't know. I'm a bit bummed that I broken my leg, my side's better though."

"Well, due to your healing abilities, you won't have a cast for long.", Bruce smiled. "Don't worry."

"Also, I would be pretty bummed, too, if I was wearing a Capsicle hoodie.", Tony taunted. Steve glanced at him then at Peter who was blushing. "I didn't even notice."

"Natasha picked it out for me. I didn't know until last minute.", Peter admitted. "Though, it's quite comfortable."

"And you're a fan of Captain America.", Natasha pointed out. Peter blushed again. "Well..."

"Don't deny it. Everyone's a fan of Captain America."

"And Iron Man. Everyone's also a fan of Iron Man.", Sam butted in. Tony smirked. "He's right. So I think Peter should be wearing an Iron Man hoodie."

"I kind of like the hoodie on him, Tony. But he'll look good in an Iron Man hoodie, too.", Steve said, placing a plate in front of Peter. He ruffled his hair a bit, earning a chuckle out the teen. Tony had watched out of interest. He wouldn't admit it aloud, but Steve could have been Peter's parent somehow. The kid was like him in many ways. Adorable, prone to blushing, shy, and from what he heard about Spiderman's heroics, he was also courageous. No doubt Peter was going to fit in here.

"How about I wear both? I like both of you guys. I really can't choose a favorite between you two."

"That proves something.", Clint said, climbing out the vent. Peter blinked. "What?"

"Vents and Clint are a match. He loves them.", Pietro joked. Clint threw a slice of bacon at him. "Shut it, Quick Ass."

"Clint, language! Not in front of Peter!"

"Sorry."

Yup, Steve would make the perfect parent for Peter.

* * *

After breakfast, Tony had brought Peter to his newly decorated room. The teen was amazed once he saw it. The scheme of it was red, black, and blue. The walls were painted red with black webbing on it. There was a desk and dresser was painted blue and the closet and bathroom doors were black, along with added furniture. The queen sized bed itself had a black metal frame complete with blue, red, and black blanket and sheets on it. The top blanket was blue with a spider on it. Much like the spider that bit Peter. In all, it was pretty impressive.

"Wow!"

"Like it? I wasn't sure if you would have preferred those colors. Everyone's room is decorated with their hero persona. You should see Clint's. It's purple galore in there with an added bonus of hawks. And Nat's is a bit more like yours. Just more brooding and more widows."

Peter looked up at the older brunet with a bright smile. "Thank you. I love it."

Tony smiled back. He hugged the kid around his shoulders. "Glad you do. I admit though that Steve helped out a bit. He painted the black webbing on the walls. He has a thing for painting."

"He has a talent."

"He does. His artwork is amazing! Really, if he was to sell it, I'll already have a gallery in the Tower of it."

It was silent for a moment before Tony spoke up again. "If you don't mind, I kind of tampered with your web shooters for a bit. When you crashed into the den yesterday, they got totalled."

"I don't mind. I appreciate the gesture."

"You're welcome. Also, I'm actually quite impressed with your web shooters. I mean the frame work is amazing. You have to show me how you do it."

"Well, I have a knack for building things. Aunt May always called me her 'little engineer'."

Tony rubbed the teen's shoulder out of affection. "She's right. Since you're staying here, I could bring down to the lab and show you the toys. You'll love it."

"No doubt."

"Let's go now!" Peter didn't have to time to retort when Tony wheeled him out the room. Just a few feet away, Natasha and Sam watched the two brunets disappear in the elevator. They had fist bumped each other with matching grins. "Operation is a go!"

* * *

For the next few days, Peter had practically became a Tower member. He grew use to the routines and weird moments that happened rather quickly.

He knew that Pietro was Clint's little puppy and was desperately trying to hook up with the archer. It was amusing to him, but also utterly adorable. He knew that Sam and Bucky were close since the thing with HYDRA. He didn't ask about that out of respect since Bucky seemed uncomfortable with the mention of said organization. Bruce was his assigned doctor and he was okay with that. He was actually more comfortable with him than any other doctor (Particularly a doctor with multiple robotic arms.) he ever encountered. He grew use to Thor's loudness and accidents. And he even came to favor him. Thor kept him entertained. He also was protective of the teen. Whenever Steve, Tony or Natasha was absent, Thor was his appointed bodyguard. Everyone else was cool in their own unique ways. They adapted to Peter easily just as he did to them.

Especially, Steve and Tony. Natasha had made sure of it!

Those two could have been mistaken as his parents. Tony was definitely his alledged fun-loving dad. He gave Peter a grand tour of the lab like he promised. Peter did loved it which pleased Tony. As a bonus, he had Peter assigned to be his other lab partner. Peter helped with adjustments with the Iron Man suits and Tony altered the teen's suit. And when they weren't in the lab, they were enjoying TV together or bothering the others with jokes. It actually brought relief to the team. Peter wasn't unhappy about his broken leg. His mind was often taken off of it with the distractions. For once, the team could smile at Tony's antics.

And then Steve. If Tony was the dad, Steve was the mom, or motherly dad. Steve treated Peter with care. He made sure Peter was at ease and helped him when he needed it. He cooked his meals, even if Peter protested. And with their time together, Steve would show Peter his artwork when he asked about. He even became another person Steve was prone to draw or paint. And at night when Steve would watch classics, Peter joined him. Sometimes, the others would find them the next morning cuddled up like a mother would her child. And Wanda may have some pictures of them.

All in all, it was a fun time for Peter.

* * *

When it hit the eighth day mark, Aunt May had dropped by for a visit. Nick Fury was the one to escort her to the Tower and into the room where the team was. They had walked in just as they were playing charades. Much to May's amusement, Thor had shouted out "Chicken!" to Rhodey's arm flapping.

"Well, I can see Peter never has a dull moment here.", she teased, catching their attention. Peter gleamed seeing his beloved aunt present. "Aunt May! You came!"

She walked over and hugged him close. "Of course, I did. I love you too much, Petey." She rubbed her cheek against his, making the other whine. "Aunt May! Too much love!"

"Sorry. Just missed you so much!" She let him go, allowing him to breathe, before turning to the Avengers. "So I trust you're taking good care of my boy?"

"Of course, ma'am.", Steve answered. Tony then placed his arms around Peter, nuzzling him. "He's perfect! You wouldn't mind if we adopt him, right? I promise I will make the perfect father!"

Peter blushed, placing his hands on his face to hide his embarrassment. "Oh my god...", he muttered. "Thor, he's calling for you.", Sam joked. Thor looked up. "Yes, Peter?"

"No! Thor, he was making a joke."

"Oh."

Aunt May laughed. "I have a feeling Peter was quite entertained." Peter nodded. "Very much. Ooh! Aunt May, you should see my room. Tony decorated for me!", he exclaimed excitedly. Tony smirked his usual Stark smile. "See? I got his room prepped up. You should totally let me adopt him."

"Steve could be the other.", Natasha muttered. "What was that, Natasha?", Steve asked. "Oh nothing. Just that you and Tony should go and show Mrs. Parker around. I'm sure she'll love to see where her nephew is staying.", she smiled innocently. Though it was far from it. Sam piped up. "Oh great idea! Don't you agree, guys?"

Knowing what the two were up to, the team agreed instantly. "It will be a pleasure that is assured.", Vision added in. "Yup.", Pietro chuckled, his twin nodding happily.

Tony and Steve exchanged looks. They were clueless to the scheme. "Uh... I guess that is okay. But wouldn't be better if Mrs. Parker spent some quality time with Peter? I mean she missed a little over a week with him and-"

"I wouldn't mind at all, sweetie. Besides, I think I would love a tour around the Tower. And who better than the man who built it and America's icon? Also, both who happen to be Peter's beloved two heroes."

"Aunt May!"

"Hey, I know, Peter. You have posters of the Avengers. And Iron Man and Captain America is the most you have. Also Spiderman."

"Geez! Spill my whole diary out, why don't you?"

May pinched Peter's cheek lightly and kissed his forehead. "I'm just teasing, honey. Now are we having that tour or what?"

"Sure thing, Mrs. Parker!", Tony shouted, jumping up from his seat. Steve helped Peter into his wheelchair and followed the other two out the room. When the four was gone, Clint spoke up. "Okay, I like her. I can see where Peter gets it from now."

"I just thought he got it from hanging with Tony a lot.", Bucky admitted. "He's like a minature half of him."

"And Steve's the other. Who can disagree that Peter is secretly the love child of those two? He's practically their ticket to finally becoming a couple, marrying and adopting him!", Wanda admitted. "Yup. That's why Sam and I have decided to use him to get those two together.", Natasha said.

* * *

On a different floor, Aunt May, Peter, Steve and Tony were wandering to the teen's room. Tony opened the door showing Aunt May the room. "Peter went ballistic when he saw it.", he taunted, earning a soft punch from said younger brunet.

"I did not. But I do love the room."

"It is quite impressive, Mr. Stark. I admit that I'm favoring the black webbing on the wall. It does give that Spiderman feel to it."

"I was going for that. Peter said he favors him. So instead of going Iron Man or Captain America, I did Spiderman. By the way, it was Steve here who did the webbing. He also helped design the room. He has the gift of a Leonardo de Vinci.", Tony said, careful not to spill Peter's secret.

Steve had blushed, turning away to avoid Tony's gaze. "Anyone could paint black lines like that, Tony. A three-year-old could do it."

"I hate to disagree, Steve. You're always so squeamish when someone compliments you."

The blonde didn't expect for a hand to hold onto his. He looked down at the joined hands and then at Tony. "Tony?"

"It's hard to avoid showing liking to your talents, Steve. I don't see why you shy from it."

Steve didn't know what or how to answer back. He bit back a whimper before taking his hand away from Tony's. "I... I'm going to go get us some drinks. Anything you favor, Mrs. Parker?"

"Well, just a tea would be nice. And please, call me May."

Steve nodded before taking a quick exit. The remaining three took a seat, Peter and Tony on the bed, and May on the lounge chair. It was quiet before May spoke. "Mr. Stark, I'm quite curious about something. Don't mind me asking, do you?"

"Not at all, May. And don't feel the need to call me Tony. Mr. Stark makes me sound like a pompous businessman. Well, I am a businessman, but not pompous." Cue blinks. "Ask away."

"Well, I was just wondering if you and the captain were a couple. You seem fondly close."

Tony's eyes widened, before going back to their orignal size. He had let out a soft chuckle before answering. "I like your quickness, May. I can see Peter is truly your nephew. And to answer your question, I wish."

"That wasn't sarcasm."

"Nope."

"I flipping knew you were crushing on Steve, Tony! It was so obvious. I only been here for like eight days and I can see how close you two are. Steve's just very... shy." Tony ruffled Peter's hair. "Right, kiddo. I just wish he give into it, you know? Steve's so innocent that's should be illegal because it's so damn adorable." He then covered his eyes, rubbing the sides of them with his fingers. "Damn him for being so fucking sexy!" He then shot a look at May. "Pardon my language."

"Steve is really rubbing off on you.", Peter taunted, poking Tony's cheek.

"I'm rubbing off on who?", the said blonde asked as he walked into the room. In his hands was a tray of drinks. One of them was steaming. "No one, Steve.", Tony lied. He took a cup off the tray and sipped from it. Much to his disbelief, it was soda. "Wow. I haven't drunk soda in like... forever."

"Because all you drink is alcohol and coffee, Tony. You're going to ruin your body like that."

Tony smiled, hearing the concern in Steve's tone. "Well, I'll have you to take great care of me, right?"

Steve wanted to immediately say "Yes! Yes, I will!", but he held back. He wasn't sure why he wanted to say those words. "Uh... May, here's your tea. All we had was green tea though. It's hot.", he sidetracked, avoiding Tony's lingering dark eyes. May smiled. "I don't mind. Now sit and tell me all about Peter. Has he been behaving? Was he any trouble?"

"Not at all. Peter's been a real sweetheart.", Steve answered, taking a seat on the other side of the teen. Aunt May couldn't help but to notice how well put together the trio looked. If she didn't personally know who Peter's biological parents were, she would have guessed her nephew was their kid. Probably by personality, too, but just physically was kind of spot on!

Peter had brown hair and brown eyes like Tony. His hair was just a shade lighter and similarly cut and styled like Tony's. And like Steve, he had a cute button nose and pink kissable lips. Even his irresistable jawline! It was as if someone did a mash-up of Tony and Steve.

And honestly, May didn't mind. In fact, it amused her. Not in a bad way amused either. She knew the men were good people and were as human as they come. It had to take a lot for a man to change his whole company around, instead of nuking a place that cause his distress. It had to take a lot for a man to be thrown 70 years into the future and not have a mental breakdown after waking up after realizing everyone you knew was gone.

And Peter was the same way. After Uncle Ben died, Peter did have his breakdown, but he grew stronger. He didn't decide to quit school or become some juvenile delinquent. He still stayed the Peter she knew and loved and morphed into another she appreciated.

In hindsight, she became a secret shipper for Tony and Steve and wanted to see her nephew as their kid. Who knows? It just might be a lot of fun to be part of that family!

* * *

A whole month and a half went by since Peter's accident. The teen had found himself back in the clinic with Dr. Banner. Steve and Tony was there, too. Both served as distractions for Peter's uneasiness as Bruce checked his leg over. "Alright, your leg is all healed, Peter. We just need to get the cast off."

"And once it's off, please spend at least a week... or two... away as Spiderman. You shouldn't get hurt again after you just got out of a cast.", Steve pleaded motherly. Tony patted his shoulder. "Steve, stop worrying. I'm sure Peter will take that into consideration. He's not stupid. I know this for sure!"

"I can't help it and you know that!"

"Hey, calm down! Only teasing!"

Bruce looked up from Peter's cast and smiled. It was cute how the two interacted. It kind of reminded him of two parents deciding whether or not their son should join the football team.

"Can I ask something?", Peter questioned with a raise of his hand and a tilt of his head. It was so Steve-like Bruce thought. "Ask away."

"If I have to take a leave of Spiderman duties, and my team have to handle the dangerous guys, and somehow they're close to facing their untimely deaths, does that mean I get to call the Avengers for help?"

"Of course, Peter! Director Fury shouldn't mind at all. I don't think he wants to lose any agents any time soon."

"Alright. I can live with that."

Bruce had finally got the cast off. Peter slowly bent his leg at the knee and was relieved there was little pain. It only bothered him how different it looked from the other. Not too different though.

"Hmm."

"It doesn't look bad.", Steve assured. He then pouted, his blue eyes dulling. Tony could feel his sudden stiff posture since his hand on still on his shoulder and glanced his way. He didn't like the frown he saw. "What's wrong, Steve?"

"Peter has to go back home now. I really like him being here, Tony."

Bruce could _feel_ the hurt from his spot. He knew that Steve wouldn't want Peter to go. Same case for Tony and anybody else in the Tower.

"I liked being here, too. It doesn't mean though I won't come back. I'll be sure to visit if that's okay with you guys.", Peter assured.

"Of course, Petey! I think Nicky might appreciate if his heroes get along swimmingly.", Tony answered in his usual Stark charm. He missed it, but Bruce didn't. Steve had actually smiled at that.

* * *

Since it was Peter's last stay here (Until the next time he visits.), the team decided to have one last movie night. After so much arguing, mostly between the Twins and Rhodey, they went with 'Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters'. (2)

Wanda wanted to watch it because the relationship between the two siblings reminded her of her relationship with her twin. Pietro may had a similar reason, but one might figure it had to do something with Hansel. He looked like a certain someone.

Peter had just came from the kitchen with a bowl of chips, getting ready to sit down in any spot. He was suddenly pushed down between Steve and Tony from behind by Natasha. Since the two were sitting so close, Peter was literally was squeezed in. Some of the chips even got in Thor's golden hair. The god was sitting by Steve's legs on the floor. Bruce somehow avoided the flying chips even though he sat right next to him. "Oh look. Sour cream and onion.", the doctor teased, pulling a chip out of Thor's hair and tossing it somewhere else. Thor just smiled at him.

"Hey! The movie's starting.", Sam announced, flopping down in an armchair. Or so he thought it was. He heard a grunt and looked to see who he sat on. He blushed seeing it was Bucky. "Oops. Sorry. I should probably move." When he went to get up, Bucky placed a tight grip around his waist with his metal arm. He nuzzled Sam's neck with a grin. "Nah. I prefer you stay here."

Steve had smiled seeing the two so close. He unconsciously let out a soft chuckle, catching Tony's attention. The brunet smiled and eased down into the sofa.

During the first twenty minutes of it, Peter had silently ate his chips, snuggling up to Steve's side. The blonde didn't mind a bit. It really brought him comfort knowing Peter was here. That and he was already freaked out by the movie.

He almost puked when the sheriff started to spew blood out his nose when Gretel had headbutt him. "Gross.", he muttered.

"Squeamish.", Natasha teased. Steve glared at her. "We're not going through this again."

Clint shushed them. "Hush it! You're going to miss something!"

"I didn't when I caught the fact that you and Hansel have matching coats.", Rhodey taunted. "And there's a crossbow involved."

"I mastered those. You want to see it in action?"

"Clint, stop threatening people.", Bruce demanded. "Watch yourself be a witch hunter."

"Clint, I believe that this Hansel is your ancestor. You have similar mannerisms.", Thor pointed out. Clint was about to retort until he thought about it. "Okay. I'll take that."

* * *

By the time the movie was finished, some of the group was sleep. Wanda was in Vision's lap, lightly giggling in her sleep about captains and dresses. Her twin had Clint's head nuzzled in his neck, muttering now and then. Pietro certainly didn't mind. Him and Vision had carried the two to their rooms.

Bucky had escorted an exhausted Sam to his, planning to sleep in his bed tonight since he didn't feel like going to his own. Besides, Sam's was closer. Rhodey had stopped by the kitchen for a midnight (even though it was a little past ten at night) snack and headed off to his room. Bruce had fallen asleep on a bundle of pillows, curled up like a kitten. It was no doubt adorable! He was lightly breathing and looked at ease. No one really had the heart to move the doctor or even wake him. Natasha was sure to take many pictures before she went off to bed.

Thor wasn't feeling tired at all, but went to bed after grabbing a box of pocky. Minutes later, he returned and picked up Bruce, carrying the doctor to his room. Bruce had squirmed in his arms for a bit, but settled down.

All who was left was Steve, Peter, and Tony. The brunet teen was now nuzzled to Tony's chest while Steve ran his fingers through his hair. Peter was sleeping soundly, his lips parted just a little to let out soft melodic snores. Tony chuckled at that. "He's like a puppy. A spider powered puppy."

Steve had grinned. "He is cute. Want me to carry him?"

"Nah. I got it, but you can tag along if you want."

"Sure."

Tony easily picked up Peter, placing him in his arms bridal style. Peter had stayed sleep, scrunching his nose cutely as Tony walked him to his room with Steve following him. It didn't take long before Peter was being placed in his spider clad bed gently.

He moaned lightly, grabbing onto Tony's shirt. Tony tried prying the fingers away, but the younger brunet just held on tighter. He had shook his head in protest, opening his eyes just a little to give Tony a sad look. "Stay.", he muttered. The older felt a hint of happiness in his chest to hear that. He openly agreed to stay. He climbed underneath the blue blanket, pulling Peter closer.

Steve really wanted to shout how cute Peter looked, but he had fallen back to sleep. Or so he thought.

The blonde went to leave, but Peter had turned, calling after him. "No. Steve, you stay, too."

He was just at the threshold when he heard that plea. He looked back to see Peter reaching out for him. Steve looked at Tony who nodded with a smile. Steve walked back over to the bed and climbed in it, settling down beside Peter's left. He placed an arm around Peter's waist while the teen cuddled into Tony's chest. A few minutes later, they were sleep.

* * *

Natasha and Sam were the first out their rooms the next morning. Sam had trouble getting out of bed since Bucky had his metal arm around him. It actually shocked the Falcon that the older man was in his bed, but he let it slide.

The duo was on their way to the kitchen when Natasha had decided to check on their spider hero guest. When the door opened, Natasha had held back a cheerful squeal at the sight. "Sam, come look! Look!", she shout-whispered. Sam peeked inside the room and grinned. "How cute."

Steve and Tony were still in bed with Peter, each on his sides while holding him close. It was amusing to see the blanket kicked off the bed, showing their tangled legs. The trio were so close that Tony's hand was able to ghost over Steve's waist. It was miracle that Peter was still breathing.

"Friday, make sure that this moment is photographed multiple times.", Natasha requested.

 **"Of course, Miss Romanoff. I find this moment very sweet and had even took the liberty of recording last night for a bonus."**

It was comfirmed then that Friday wasn't just a Stony shipper, but she roots for Superfamily, too.

"This is why I favor Friday."

The duo watched as Peter stirred in his sleep for a bit. He opened his eyes, groaning when the sunlight hit them. "Ouch." He then realized there was two other people in the bed with him. He first noticed a dull blue light in his face, much more easy on the eyes while being covering by a dark red material. He looked up and saw it was just Tony. Then it came to him. He remembered what happened last night. That meant the second party had to be Steve.

He looked behind him, tilting his head back to see it was indeed Steve behind him. He half-smiled. "Ah."

He would have been embarrassed at the situation, but it didn't embarrass him. It brought him joy to know that the two heroes he had always idolized were right here beside him. He had felt like they were his family.

Peter had sat up slowly, careful not to wake the two. He slid out their arms easily and climbed onto the red and black wall like the spider he was. He climbed more to the left over Steve and landed gracefully on his feet. He stared at the older men for a couple of more seconds before turning around. He had almost let out a scream when he spotted Natasha and Sam. Both grinning at him. "What the hell is wrong with you? How long were you standing there for?"

"Well, probably for about ten minutes. And the wall climb thing you just did was cool.", Sam answered. Peter shrugged. "It happens. Anyways, why are you two standing at my door?"

"We came to check on you, but I see that your mom and dad already had that covered.", Natasha joked. Peter tilted his head in confusion. "My mom and dad? What are y... oh."

It then came to him.

"No wonder all this month I've been here you've been pushing Steve and Tony to spend time with me and stuff."

"Can't help it. Those two really need to get over their sexual tension."

"But why use me? Couldn't get some truth serum or something?"

Natasha and Sam exchanged looks before looking back at the younger hero. "Peter, we have to admit this. You're pretty much like their love child."

Peter blinked before blushing hard. He shifted on his feet, coughing lightly in his fist. "Why... is that something you should tell me?"

"Why not? Admit it, you see those two as your parents, don't you? Your aunt even sees it! She's secretly rooting for this to happen!", Natasha shouted. In the bed, Steve had let out a whimper, pulling his arms closer to his chest. Tony mumbled something before scooting closer to the blonde and placing his arm around his waist. Peter had looked back and smiled. "Alright. I agree that they are good together. But that doesn't make me their love child."

"Alright. If you say so."

Peter had went into his private bathroom and closed the door. Sam and Natasha chuckled. "He knows it's true."

* * *

By 11 in the morning, the team was eating bowls of cereal, toast, and Poptarts while discussing random things while watching morning cartoons. Steve and Tony were the last to walk into the den, both looking well rested.

"Morning, Steven and Tony!", Thor greeted through a mouthful of s'more Poptart. Bruce had chuckled. "Thor, you're getting crumbs everywhere.", he pointed out, flicking a crumb off the god's shoulder. The blonde smiled at him. Peter looked between the two and then at his heroic should be couple. Steve had poured himself a bowl of cereal and then milk. Tony thought it was weird how they had boxes of cereal and three gallons of milk in the den. Then again, there was a mini refrigerator in the corner.

"So it's cereal today, huh?", Tony asked, grabbing a piece of buttered toast from Clint's plate. He noticed there was a pot of coffee and mugs as well.

"Well, Steve wasn't up yet, and no one really felt like making breakfast.", Pietro admitted. Steve shook his head, giggling. "What will you guys do without me?"

"I know what I might do. Freak out.", Bucky said. "I can't tolerate the weirdness that goes on here. Well, I lied, but still."

Peter had then shifted on the couch, clearing his throat. Tony and Steve glanced his way. They sighed in amusement when they saw his shirt. "Really, Peter?"

"Aunt Natasha thought I should wear it."

"It's Aunt Natasha now?", Steve asked. Peter nodded. "She's like another aunt for me. Like it though?"

"Love it."

Peter was wearing a black tee shirt with the Captain America and Iron Man on it. Tony patted his shoulder. "This is why I like him. May has to let me adopt you."

"Well, I don't think you have to persuade her much to allow that.", Sam added in with an added bite of his cereal.

* * *

By four, Nick was arriving his usual black sleek vehicle. He went up to the 'chill floor' and sure enough found the team and Peter in the den. Peter was hugging everyone, telling them his good-bye's. Thor had lifted him high, squeezing him tightly. It was funny that he called Peter 'spider child'. Fury watched as Tony and Steve went up to Peter, both looking a bit heartbroken. "Petey, don't leave us!", the older brunet cried dramatically, clinging onto the teen's leg while falling to his knees. Peter rolled his eyes.

"Tony, stop being such a drama queen."

Tony got up and crossed his arms. "I can't help it. It's in my nature.", he joked in an Australian accent. "But really I'm going to miss you. It's fun having you here, Petey."

"It was fun. But don't worry! I'm going to come back around."

"You're going to have to. I like my secret boy band to expand.", Fury deadpanned. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah." Peter turned around and jumped Tony, hugging him tightly. He then glomped Steve next, surprising the blonde. Steve smiled, nuzzling Peter's hair and hugging him back. After a while, the two departed allowing Peter to follow Fury out. The team had rushed to the window and watched the duo get into the car and drive away.

Once the vehicle was out of sight, Natasha frowned. "I'm going to miss that little spider."

"He's going to be back. New York is not that big. He literally lives down the street.", Clint assured. Though he, too, was feeling the pain of Peter leaving. Steve had frowned, sitting down. Tony glimpsed his way and noticed a tear going down his face. "Oh no, Steve. Please don't cry. Peter will come back."

"I know. Just can't help it though. I really liked having him around, you know?" The blonde wiped away his stray tear with a flick of his finger. Tony took a seat next to him, adjusting Steve to rest against his shoulder. He rubbed his back, calming him down. Everyone looked at each other and silently decided to leave the room.

* * *

When Peter arrived home, he expected to see his aunt standing outside the door. Sure enough, she was. Aunt may welcomed Peter with opened arms and gave a friendly greeting to Nick who then left.

Once they were inside, May had escorted Peter into the living room. "So how does it feel to use both your legs again?"

"Feels great, Aunt May. Though I kind of do miss the pampering I was getting."

"I bet. Ooh! I want to show you something. I think you'll find this funny."

She reached over to the table and picked up a white envelope. She opened it and gave Peter the folded paper from the inside of it. Peter had began to read the contents, chuckling as he continued to read. "He wasn't joking."

"Nope. But I just might let him."

"Would you?"

"Definitely!"

* * *

 **This chapter really had me in my feels. I didn't expect it to be this long, but it happened. A certain red 'n' black clad hero was supposed to make it in this chapter, but somehow he didn't. He will appear later though! As well as, Peter returning!**

 **(1) Remember the cartoon Ultimate Spiderman? Yeah, I was referencing to that. The team I mentioned was White Tiger, Super Nova, Iron Fist and Power Man. In that show, Peter is part of SHIELD. So yeah, the Avengers would had probably knew about him. I mean they did work with at one point in the show.**

 **(2) It's one of my favorite fairy tale/Jeremy Renner movies, okay? I had to throw it in because at the time, I was listening to it when I was writing that part.**

 **Don't worry, fellow Stony shippers, they will be a couple. I promise you. Just allow me to troll you some more, okay? Just joking! But seriously, they're going to hook up soon.**

 **Review!**


	8. Interview with the Avengers

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Just like I don't own Avengers, I also don't own the amazement of Anne Rice's works. I mean anybody who have read her books and watched the movies (It's just two as far as I know.) know that this lady deserves a statue or something. Her vampires are my favorite version of vampires.**

 **Notes: I was watching my favorite movie of all time, 'Interview with the Vampire', and had got the idea to write this chapter.**

 **Warnings: And speaking of such, for anyone who haven't seen the movie or read the book, there are major spoiler alerts ahead! If you don't mind though and might think reading the spoilers will persuade you to watch the movie or read the book, be my guest. But don't say I didn't warn you. And there's also mentioned sexual content.**

* * *

Chapter 8 - Interview with the Avengers

Clint had found himself wandering the halls one lazy afternoon. He recently came from a mission with Natasha and Bucky in Belgium. The trio had took down an illegal operation of trade goods.

It only took two days really. All Bucky had to do was use his Brooklyn rage.

Anyways...

"What should I have for lunch? I wonder what we have.", he muttered to himself. Clint had turned the corner when he was suddenly grabbed onto by a blue blur and pecked lightly on the lips. He was let go a second later and was only left with a clue of laughter trailing behind him. Clint growled. "Why does he keep doing that?"

Lately, Pietro had took the interest of giving Clint small kisses and hugs. And he always used his super speed because he knew Clint would shoot him with a couple of arrows.

The archer brushed himself and went into the kitchen. He saw Steve sitting at the counter top on one of the stools, reading a book in his hands. "Hey, Steve.", Clint greeted. "Hi, Clint. How was the mission?", the taller blonde asked without looking from the book.

"Easy. Having Bucky there was a miracle."

"Yup."

Clint pulled out a slice of cake and began to eat it. He was about to grab a glass of milk, too until he heard a shout from Steve. "Oh no! It can't end like this! It just can't! Why?!" The blonde closed the book and laid his head on the counter with a pout on his lips. "Poor Louis. He was so miserable." Clint did a double take. "Wait. Who the fuck is Louis?"

"The main protagonist in this book. It was just so breathtaking. I couldn't stop reading it."

"What book is it?"

"Um... Interview with the Vampire."

The fork Clint was using clattered onto the plate. Steve got worried at his sudden still posture. "Uh... Clint?" At the call of his name, Clint slowly turned to Steve. "You read _that_ book?"

Steve nodded with uncertainty. He feared he did something to Clint. "I did. Natasha suggested it to me."

"And I'm glad she did!", Clint shouted. "That is a fucking classic! And you finally read it! Now you just have to watch the movie!"

"There's a movie to it?"

"A damn good one! This calls for a meeting! Friday, tell everyone to meet in the den ASAP! This is urgent!"

 **"Yes, Mr. Barton."**

Steve yelped when Clint grabbed his forearm and dragged him, yes dragged, into the den. Sam and Wanda were already there, playing what looked to be Declare War. They both looked up, blinking at the urgency in Clint's face and Steve's frighten expression. "Uh... did Steve do something, bro?", Sam asked.

Clint suddenly smiled the creepiest smile ever. "Yes. He has done it. He has finally read _the_ book."

The duo gasped, glancing at Steve with a twinkle in their eyes. "He has read it! Praise you, dear Captain!", they cheered, getting on their knees and bowing their heads. Okay, now Steve was a little freaked out. What seem so amazing about him reading a book?

The rest of the team had finally shown up. Loki and Pepper included. They spotted Sam and Wanda on the floor and blinked. "Why are they kneeling on the floor?", Bucky asked. Clint pushed Steve forward. "He has read the book!"

"Junie B. Jones?", Tony questioned. (1)

"No! The classic of all classics! The hit book! The book that started it all in the world of Anne fucking Rice!"

Everyone gasped just how Wanda and Sam did, except for two Norse gods. They were still confused. Natasha had ran over to Steve and hugged him tightly around his waist. "I can't believe it! You followed my advice!"

"Okay! Okay! Can someone please explain to me why in the heck are you all happy about me reading a book?", the blonde questioned. Bruce cleared his throat. "Steve, you had read a masterpiece. You read Anne Rice's 'Interview with the Vampire'. That's the book that made way for vampire tales. Her movie started the vampire franchise! And you definitely have to watch the movie! And you will love it!"

"This calls for a movie night.", Rhodes said. Loki and Thor exchanged glances. "I am most confused. Who is this Anne Rice?", Loki asked. Pepper patted his shoulder. "It's a lot of magnificent to take in when we discuss her. So we'll take a whole day cleared out so we can explain her and her marvelous works to you and Thor."

"Okay then."

"At seven o'clock tonight we shall start this movie! Steve, you're going to love it!", Natasha declared. Steve shivered, seeing the wide-eyed hyper stare she was giving him. Anne Rice must be the shit if Natasha is acting like this. It gave him chills just thinking about it.

* * *

It was about half past five in the afternoon when Steve had came out the shower. He had a royal blue towel wrapped around his waist and another on his head to dry his blond hair. He was humming to himself when he walked out his private bathroom, not noticing someone sitting on the bed with a smirk on their face. He was actively unaware of their presence and walked to his dresser. He opened one of the drawers and pulled out a pair of (surprisingly) black briefs and slipped them on after he let the towel dropped. Once they were on, he heard a wolf whistle. "That is one impressive ass, Captain Rogers."

Steve had let out a scream, quite girlish, and turned around. Much to his horror, it was Tony sitting on his bed, grinning that Stark grin. "Damn it, Stark! Why are you in my room?"

"Why do you think?"

The blonde huffed. "What? Were you waiting out here so you can catch in just a towel?" (2)

"No. But I'm glad I did. Now I'm curious to how your ass feels under the palms of my hands."

"Anthony!", Steve growled, stepping forward. He didn't seem to realize he was giving Tony something to drool at. Only in briefs? Steve, you're giving him all the right reasons to jump your pretty little ass.

"Okay. I came here to get you for the movie. I refuse for you to miss any of it. Now put on some clothes and hurry to the den." The brunet got up off the bed and headed to exit the room. He stopped at the threshold, shaking his head. "Know what? Scratch that. Just come to the den now."

"No! I'll be there! Just leave!"

"Yes, honey.", Tony laughed, walking way. Steve sighed, a blush creeping up to his cheeks. "I can't believe he saw me nude."

* * *

A few minutes had passed since then. Steve had came out his room, dressed in a lavender hoodie and grey sweatpants. He walked into the den, noticing how everyone was moving about to get the perfect seat while setting up snacks and drinks. Bruce was on the floor on a pile of pillows with Thor sitting next to him in a red beanbag. Loki was on the other side of his brother, sitting on a green beanbag with Nutella in his lap.

Natasha and Pepper had taken refuge on the lounge chair, laying opposite ways so that their feet were facing each other. It was a pretty long lounge chair. Rhodey was sitting at the bottom in front of them with pillows, just as Bruce did. Pietro, Clint, Sam and Bucky were on the couch. Bucky had Sam cuddled up to him with a bowl of nacho chips in his lap. Pietro tried to get the same thing to happen, but much to his failing, Clint settled to cuddle with a pillow.

Wanda was sitting in Vision's lap in the arm chair, happily sipping on a slushy. Tony was sitting on the love seat, an empty spot next to him. "I saved it for you, Stevie.", he admitted proudly. Steve blushed, taking the seat without argument. Clint looked his way and raised an eyebrow.

"Because I'm so excited to watch this movie, I'm not going to justify the fact that Cap is wearing a lavender hoodie."

"Don't we got a movie to start. Everyone set?", Natasha called out. "Yup. Friday, play it!"

On request, Friday had started the movie on the wide television screen.

* * *

After ten minutes of the movie playing, Rhodes spoke up. "I never got why in the hell would Lestat just bite Louis and then drop him in the water like that. Didn't he want to turn him into a vampire? Didn't he think Louis would had been washed out to sea?"

"I just think it's weird how... sexual that scene looked. When he flew up into the air like that. Louis definitely had on his sex face.", Pepper admitted. Tony looked her way. "Really, Pep?"

"Yeah. Come on. Everyone thought the same thing. Am I right?"

"Well, it did look a bit... intense.", Steve agreed softly a few minutes later. He watched on the screen as Lestat went into the neck of a tanned tavern maid. He blushed seeing her dart her tongue at Louis' lips and him responding in a bloody kiss. "Oh my. And she was enjoying that?"

"The first minutes of it I bet.", Bucky sassed. "Hey, Sam. You ever-"

"Don't even ask.", the darker male growled. His eyes were glued to the screen. "Now shut it. The movie is playing."

"Anyone else thought-"

"Clint, I said shut it!"

"Alright!"

It was silent again. The group watched as the movie transitioned to the party scene. When Louis mentioned that Lestat was thrilled the most for aristocratic blood, Wanda snickered. "That's probably why he looked so pleased after drinking Louis... twice."

"I know! The second time he just went on in there.", her twin agreed. He then thought about his words. "Wow. That sounded dirty."

It was now showing Louis and Lestat staring at an aged woman. They approached her, both kissing the back of her hand as she greeted them. The next thing happened was them going on into the yard for a walk. Or Louis and Lestat to get their snack on.

Steve shifted on the couch, unconsciously moving more towards Tony. "Oh no.", he mumbled. His eyes widened when Widow St. Clair's poodle was snatched with a panicked whimper and attacked. He jumped when Lestat grabbed the old woman and twisted her neck, killing her. "It sounded less painful in the book!"

"That's movies for you!"

A little after that scene passed, the group watched in silence at what occurred. It was now Lestat tossing grapes at the still, bland Louis. It quickly rushed into Lestat screaming at the brunet vampire and taunting him. Steve was actually feeling sorry for Louis again.

He watched as Yvette came to comfort Louis, only to be bitten on the wrist and drained.

Steve curled his fingers into the seat's material as the scene continued.

Louis was now burning the house down. Literally. With a torch and everything.

Lestat had came into the house through a window, yelling at Louis again. When he said, "Burn everything we own!" Natasha scoffed. "You were just hogging up space there! Louis owns everything! Fucking jerk! You weren't even married!"

"But Natasha, I don't think he did want to marry Louis.", Sam admitted.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "I highly doubt it."

"Why would he burn his home?", Thor questioned. It had actually been a while since he spoke. Bruce turned to him. "He was trying to kill himself. He couldn't handle being a vampire anymore. He just wanted to die. Remember how he mentioned his wife and child dying?"

Thor nodded.

"He wanted to join them. He just realized the mistake he made letting Lestat turn him."

"Then why allow the other to turn him?"

"The offer seemed good when Lestat mentioned it."

"Aye. I understand now."

The doctor patted the older man's knee before turning back to the movie. He didn't catch the smile Thor or his brother had. Loki's was more sinister really while Thor's was more affectionate.

* * *

"Oh! This is my part! It gets heated between Louis and Lestat here!", Sam exclaimed excitedly. It was now the hotel room scene. Louis was standing on the balcony while Lestat played with the two prostitutes. The group watched as Lestat advanced on one while the other blindly ate fruit, not knowing her companion had met an untimely fate.

He had teased the naive whore before he went down on her, grabbing onto her and biting just below her left breast. Steve squirmed in his seat, watching the woman pant in pleasure. "The movie makes the scene so intense.", he muttered. Tony grabbed onto his hand, bringing the blonde closer. "It's a vampire movie. It's going to do that. You're going to love this next part.", he said just as the woman realized her blood staining the front of her dress.

Steve grabbed, covering his mouth in shock.

The scene continued on, the woman being physically and verbally tortured. Louis had became an added target as Lestat handed him a glass of her blood. "Pretend it's wine." Louis smacked the glass out his hand.

Bruce clicked his tongue. "That was a waste of blood.", he muttered.

The group watched the dramatic scene play. Clint had shook his head as Louis and Lestat argue like a married couple. "Truth be told. I think Lestat wanted Louis' ass, but because he wouldn't give it up, Lestat was being mean to him."

"Probably. I can sense the sexual tension.", Pepper agreed.

Steve had to admit he agreed to that as well. It seem as if the two vampires had unsolved tension. It kind of reminded him of some other two, but he didn't know who really.

* * *

It was now the time of the movie when Claudia had joined. Truthfully, the movie portrayed her so well that Steve got shivers again. Reading the book was enough, but now he had to _see_ the creepy brat.

By now, everyone had shifted in another position and still munching on snacks. Sam was now sitting directly in Bucky's lap, running his fingers through the man's hair. Natasha was sitting back against the sofa, her knees pulled up to her chin while Pepper stayed in the same position as before. Wanda was still in Vision's lap, this time her back against his chest with his arms around her waist and his chin in her shoulder. Loki was now practically laying in his beanbag, a carton of vanilla ice cream in his lap. His eyes were _glued_ to the screen. Secretly, he was favoring Lestat's character.

Thor was still sitting in his beanbag, yet somehow he managed to get Bruce to sit with him. The doctor was settled beside him, surprisingly, comfortably. Thor had ghosted his arm over the brunet's shoulders. Bruce either didn't notice or was ignoring it. Whatever the case was, he didn't acknowledge it since he was into the movie.

Rhodey was still in his position while eating some cookies Steve gotten earlier. Once in a while, Pepper would grab one or two. Clint was still cuddled with a pillow, but Pietro's head was settled in his lap, circling his fingers on Clint's knee. The archer gave small whines to it at first, but it started to soothe him so he let it slide.

And then there was Steve and Tony. The blond captain was settled on Tony's shoulder, an arm holding onto Tony by his waist. The genius didn't mind, no not at all. Once in a while, he would smirk feeling Steve scoot closer or jump against him at parts that shocked him.

He could feel Steve exhaled in sympathy at the sadness Claudia displayed when Louis found her. "She was so alone.", he whispered.

"She was, Steve. She was."

The scene had suddenly became a laughing stock when Lestat came in, saw the dead mother of Claudia and danced with her while humming some silly song. "That seems like something Loki might do.", Pietro chuckled, glancing at said trickster. Despite his interest in the film, Loki glared at the speedster. "I might. I'll dance with your body once I gutted out your insides."

"Brother, seize your threats.", Thor warned, drawing Bruce closer. Loki gazed his way, smirked and turned back to the movie.

"Louis runs like a girl.", Bucky voiced out suddenly. Sam shook his head. "Is that really all you got out of that?"

"Yup."

"Vampire Claudia coming up!", Pepper announced.

The group watched as Lestat led Louis to their room where Claudia was laying on the bed. Lestat had given her his blood, putting the child into a painful state of transforming. Steve winced. "No child should go through that. I couldn't even go through that."

"Right. Right. Hey, I just had a thought.", Tony admitted.

Bruce sighed. "This is bad."

"No. No! It's a metaphor I came up with."

"Ooh! Metaphors and Tony. Let's hear it.", Natasha demanded.

"Friday, pause the movie."

Once the movie was paused, Tony cleared his throat and spoke again. "This scene reminds me of a dad wanting to get a mom pregnant just so he can own her. It's like Lestat just went up to Louis and said, 'Boom! You're pregnant! Now you can't leave me!'. Honestly, if he could he would have gotten Louis pregnant with at least three kids by now. Anyways, Lestat was like the possessive dad and Louis was like a compassionate, but doubtful mom. While Lestat wanted Louis to stay and probably wanted Claudia as a daughter, Louis was more like scared and 'I'll make a terrible mom! I already make a terrible vampire! He despises me!'."

"Tony, you're weird.", Rhodey added.

"Yeah, but it's true. He knew Louis had a soft spot for children. So he wanted to give that to him. Now, there's my metaphor. Friday, play the movie."

The movie continued on without any responses from the group again. They watched when it progressed to Claudia throwing her terror fit at Lestat. She even cut his cheeks, which easily healed.

Steve noticed how heartbroken Louis looked in the whole scene. Like a mother who wanted give her child comfort. Maybe Tony was right. Maybe...

It soon came to Lestat playing the piano in anger mocking Claudia and the absent Louis. The group watched with interest when Claudia led to the two supposed drunk boys. Lestat actually looked hopeful for forgiveness. That was quickly thrown away when Claudia let him drink dead blood and slit his throat.

Louis had came in, stopped in his tracks as Lestat laid in his blood, slowly dying.

"She's a bitch! Look at her smirk at him! Geez!", Clint winced. Pietro looked up at him and then at the screen. "Agreed."

* * *

"Anyone else thought Armand had the longest fucking nails in history?"

"Who could disagree? Though, Antonio really worked those nails."

Natasha had grinned. "See? Anyone else disagrees? Pepper agrees."

"Pepper agrees with you on everything.", Bucky said.

It has been a little over past an hour into the movie. It was now the part in the threater. Like the audience in the movie, Steve was once against a bit uncomfortable when the girl was exposed. His cheeks were red with shock. He wasn't the only one.

"Such exposure! Why do such a thing to a poor, innocent mortal?", Thor questioned. Bruce shrugged. "Some vampires are cruel, Thor. So cruel that they would do things like that. And since that was a huge group of vampires they felt they had more power over humans because they combined powers."

"Anyone else thought Claudia was like that kid that didn't want a step parent? She was hating on Armand.", Sam said.

"See? Sam's catching on. Armand wanted Louis, too!", Tony admitted.

Steve giggled. "Tony, I think everyone wanted Louis. If Claudia was a woman, and not a girl, she'd probably would have tried to get with him. Though that's a bit incestuous. Well, then again she had that complex going on. Armand totally wanted him. That's probably why he didn't stop them from killing Claudia. Trying to get her out the way."

"Oooh. You show a new side every day.", Sam said.

"I believe Tony is influencing him.", Vision agreed. "Probably in more ways than one."

"Well, I- Wait! What?"

"Death scene!", Clint announced, pointing at the screen. He continued to due so as Claudia and her new-found mother/nanny Madeleine burned in the sunlit room. "Burn, baby, burn!", he sung.

"Clinton! That's not funny!", Natasha scowled.

Clint pouted. "I like to see the bright side of things." He stopped when he realized what he said. "Shit. That pun was unintentional. I swear to Thor."

"Swear what to me?", the said god questioned.

"Nothing."

* * *

A few seconds later, the group was cheering on Louis for taking out the jerkass vampires in the threater. "Burn, baby, burn! Threater inferno! Burn, baby, burn!", Clint sung again. This time he wasn't scowled for it.

Steve laughed. Tony smiled, hearing the cheerful sound come from his crush.

Despite efforts to watch the movie, the group laughed as Clint had gotten up, pushing Pietro, and began to dance. "Burn, baby, burn!"

"Clint!", Wanda called out, laughing. It died down when Louis came to meet Lestat again. Yes, it took that long for them to stop laughing, but it didn't stop them from talking.

"How the fuck did he survive being burnt alive?!", Bucky asked out of shock. "That should be damn near impossible!"

"Well, I guess Lestat suffered through it before. Besides, he was the reason why Claudia was killed and Louis was technically spared.", Steve said.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?"

"In the book, Lestat actually was the one to have told them about Claudia trying to kill him."

"He was suppose to be dead.", Loki pointed out.

"He survived. Remember he knew these vampires. So he told them, had gotten Claudia killed and went on. Though in the book, I doubted he was sitting in a chair looking so pitiful."

"I don't think so either.", Pepper said.

It was now nearing to the credits, Malloy (the guy who recorded Louis' story before hauling ass) was driving his red car down the bridge, listening to the recording. There was a few giggles when he said somebody needs to change his shorts.

It ended with Lestat coming out of fucking no where and attacking the poor man and offering him to be changed into a vampire. He even took the wheel of the car and drove it like a pro.

"How in the hell did he learn to fucking drive?", Bucky questioned out of shock again as the credits begun to roll.

"Language, Bucky. And being a vampire, Lestat probably learned quickly.", Steve answered.

"Okay. How he knew that was the dude that talked to Louis?"

"Probably smelled Louis on him. 'Oh hell no. Someone's been trying to get a piece of Louis' ass. My Louis' ass!'. Yup.", Tony voiced, pulling Steve closer. Steve blushed noticing the closeness since the movie was over. "Uhh... Tony? Mind- eep!" Tony had suddenly wrapped his arms around Steve, nuzzling his throat playfully. "Come on, Steve! You can't resist me! You know you want my fangs to sink into that gorgeous neck of yours!", he teased. Steve struggled out his grip. "No! Tony!"

Natasha had slowly took her phone out and snapped a couple of pictures of the two. "Cute."

There was a suddenly scream. And it wasn't from Steve. Everyone turned to see Clint rubbing his bum while glaring at Pietro. "You... damn it, Maximoff!"

Pietro laughed. "You were an open target, my little hawky."

Clint growled. Out of nowhere, he pulled out his handgun and aimed it at the younger male. "It's time for justice, little one!"

"Shit."

The remaining team members watched as Pietro run at the room and Clint following him. They blinked, not knowing what to do. "Well, since the movie is over I guess we all should go to bed.", Vision suggested. Wanda eyed him. "You don't sleep."

"I can if I want. Don't judge me, dear Wanda."

"Come, brother! We must rest!", Thor shouted. Loki grumbled. "Thor, we sleep in separate rooms. And I dare not follow the time you assist on sleeping! I don't have bedtimes!"

Thor just brushed him off, heading off to his room. Everyone else followed, too. And though he had refused before, so did Loki.

For the rest of the night, there was the sounds of light snores, mumbles and Pietro begging Clint to not kill him.

* * *

 **(1) I grew up reading this series of books, so if you remember these, props to you!**

 **(2) Chris Evans had said this line in another movie, but in a different tone. If you know the movie, you're awesome!**

 **I'm telling you all right now. Everything the Avengers commented on while watching the movie was exactly what I thought and said. Really! I'm always commenting on movies either in my head or aloud. Not too aloud though.**

 **Can't help it though.**

 **And I did cry a little as Claudia was burned to death, but I did that at 10 years old. And because I don't like crying at movies, I just try to make something funny out of them. Now I can't do that with every movie. Just can't.**

 **Anyways...**

 **Review because you love me!**


	9. The Feverish Feeling of Fever

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Only just the misc. characters I own. If I owned the Avengers that has to mean I'm richer than Tony because I own him. But I don't. Wish I did, but I don't.**

 **Notes: This chapter is Cap's revenge chapter. So it's like a second part to chapter 6. Also, special appearance by other Marvel characters!**

 **Warnings: I don't know if you may be trolled as what is to happen, but if you are I apologize. I warned you though. Also there is still some unresolved sexual tension between some of the characters. Major one is between Tony and Steve, yet it will be solved soon.**

* * *

Chapter 9 - The Feverish Feeling of Fever

"I don't want to do this."

"You're going to have to regardless, dude. Just stop complaining and get it over with. The sooner we get through with this, the sooner we get to go home. You know Fury isn't letting neither of us out this room until we're done writing our statements."

"Can't I just scale for an escape or verbally tell him what happened?"

"Pietro, you're making this quite difficult."

"No one asked you anything, Vision! I was talking to Natasha!"

"Rude."

The team just finished a recent mission. The usual 'save the city' thing. Now they had to write a statement about the event. Steve, Wanda, Vision, Natasha, Bruce, and Bucky were already done. Sam and Rhodey was close to finishing as well as Thor. Once in a while, the thunder god would distracted from Tony's whining and Pietro protesting about writing the reports.

"Agent Maximoff, I advise you to finish that. As Agent Romanoff stated before, the sooner the better.", Fury voiced, walking to Sam and Rhodey and picking up their reports. He glanced at the contents before nodding and placing them in a manilla folder. Tony sat up, grumbling under his breath. "I don't even work for SHIELD. Why am I writing this?"

"Because you're an Avenger? Stark, please just write. I'll do you a favor if you write the statement.", Steve offered, fluttering his lashes. He recently discovered that some of his team members were suckers for his baby blue eyes and pouty pink lips. Tony was the lead sucker. He cooperates better with Steve when the captain pouts and whines at him then yelling at him. He didn't know why though, but Steve used it to his advantages.

Tony's breath hitched, seeing the innocent look. He bit his lip, turning away. "I hate reports. I hate paperwork in general. That's more your thing."

"And I did it. Come on, Tony.", Steve pleaded. The brunet peeked at him and instantly gave in. Who was he to resist the captain?

"Fine. But you have to let me make readjustments to your suit and shield."

"Deal."

That got Tony writing. Pietro, though, was still resisting. "No. No. I don't want to."

"Piiiiieeeeetrrrrrrooooo."

The speedster slowly looked to his right. Clint was staring at him with wide blue-green eyes, a small frown on his lips. Pietro picked his head up from the table as the older walked over to him. "Yeah?"

"Please write the report? For me? You don't want your little hawky upset, do you?", Clint asked, letting seduction drip in his tone. Pietro sighed when Clint slowly dragged his fingers against his cheek, brushing his facial hair ever so lightly. "No. I don't want to.", he answered as if he was in a trance. Everyone couldn't look away, giving small smiles as the Hawk broke Quicksilver to bend at his will.

"Then you'll write that statement, right?"

"Uh huh."

"Good.", Clint retorted, dragging his fingers to under Pietro's chin and curling them away.

Pietro turned back to writing with a dreamy, pleased glaze in his blue eyes. Clint smirked, stepping back and taking his seat back. "And that's how you get someone to bend at your will."

Natasha smiled. "I have taught you well.", she commented, high-fiving the archer.

Pietro paid no mind to it.

* * *

Later, the group had arrived home, ready to finish the day with some relaxing. Tony took the first chance to retrieve Steve's shield and uniform (once he was out of it) and bring the items into the lab.

Within the next hour, some of them were gathered in the den while some TV show was playing on the screen. They weren't paying any attention to it though. Steve was bundled up in a corner, listening to some music on his music player while sketching. He looked... dull.

Bucky was silently watching him. "Hmm."

"Something wrong?", Sam asked.

"No. Just watching Steve. Does he look... different to you?"

Sam glanced over to Steve. The blonde was now standing up, stretching his arms over his head with a groan. "Steve, you alright?", the younger hero asked, noticing the faint redness of Steve's face. The blonde nodded. "Yeah. Just a bit tired, you know? Long day of fighting and writing... reports... I... I..." He suddenly fell over, gripping onto the coffee table and pulling pillows right off the sofa. The others quickly crowded around him, Bucky placing Steve in his lap and rubbing his cheek. "Steve? Steven? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Steve mumbled something inaudible, his eyelids fluttering. "..."

"What?", Natasha asked.

"Sle... epy..."

Bucky lifted Steve with ease, carrying him to his room. He laid him on his red, blue, and white clad bed, adjusting the blankets for Steve. "Hey, Wanda. Call Bruce in here for me?"

Wanda nodded and ran out.

A few minutes later, Bruce had came in, followed by Tony and the others.

"What's wrong? I heard something is wrong with Steve.", the doctor said, sitting next to the leader. Steve mumbled something again, turning on his side. Tony frowned. "Steve, what's the matter?", he asked, kneeling by the other's bedside by his head.

Steve closed his eyes, nuzzling in his star pattern pillow. "Just... sleepy, Tony."

Tony pressed his hand to Steve's forehead, pushing back some blond hair. Just his palm, he could feel the skin heating up. "Oh, Steve. You're heating up. Bruce, I think Steve may have a fever!"

"A fever? I thought he couldn't get sick with the serum.", Clint voiced. "Side effect?"

"Maybe. I'll check him over. Right now, we should let him rest. Come on, everyone! Get out!", Bruce demanded, pushing the others out. Tony pouted. "Bruce, can I stay?"

Bruce looked back at the other brunet, currently pushing a protesting Bucky out the room. "If he stays, I stay!", the metal armed man exclaimed. "I'm his best friend!"

"I know. Tony, I think Steve just needs to be alone for now. I'm sure if he wants you, Friday will inform you."

 **"I will, sir."** , Friday assured. Tony glanced at Steve, seeing that he was sleep. His brows scrunched together in thought before he stood up. "Alright. Don't inform me of anything unless it pertains to Steve.", he ordered before walking past Bruce and Bucky to return to the lab. He had a shield and uniform to work on.

Bucky and Bruce exchanged all-knowing smirks. "How long you think will it be before Tony finally cracks and admits his feelings?", Bucky asked.

"Give or take a few days."

* * *

Night had fallen by the time Tony came out his lab. In his hands was Steve's uniform and shield, heading to his room. Once he was there, he stopped at the door, staring at it with uneasiness. He didn't know why he felt this way, but he knew it was there. Tony exhaled, requesting Friday to open Steve's door. Once it was opened, the brunet stepped in.

It was dark in the room except for the moonlight shining through white curtains and a lamp. It actually took Tony a while to find Steve, but when he did, he saw that the blonde was curled in his red, white and blue blanket like a burrito. His mouth was slightly opened, letting out small peaceful breaths and his eyes stayed closed.

Steve was still sleep.

"Friday, how long has Steve been sleep?"

 **"Captain Rogers was asleep for about three hours before he woken and showered. He had refused food from Mr. Barton when he stopped by earlier and fell asleep again. He's been sleep since then."**

"Hm."

Tony had set Steve's uniform and shield on his table before walking to his bedside. He carefully sat down next to the blonde, hoping he wasn't going to wake him. Steve had shifted a bit, moaning a little before turning the other way. Tony frowned.

He sighed, resisting the urge to place his head on Steve's forehead. He watched as Steve wiggled in his blanket before he stretched and curled up again. Unconsciously, he scooted closer to Tony until his back met the brunet's leg. Tony practically can feel the shivering through the blanket.

He noted it wasn't all that cold or hot in the room. It had to be at a warm temperature. Steve must be suffering a fever if he's buried in a blanket and shivering.

"Friday, can you turn the heat up just a little more in this room? Not too much though. I don't want Steve to cook.", Tony requested, standing up before leaving.

When he was gone, the blonde on the bed had smiled. And then sneezed.

* * *

Hours had passed since Steve was first sent to his room. It was now the next late morning. Everyone was just finishing their breakfast when the blonde walked in. He was wrapped in a blanket, dressed in black sweats and a dark blue tee. Somehow, he looked... different.

His usual blonde hair seemed messier and slightly darker. His usual bright blue eyes were dull with illness. And his skin looked paler, except from around the cheeks and nose which was red.

Steve sniffled a little, announcing his presence in the kitchen. "Hi.", he greeted softly. Clint stiffened. "Steve, you're not supposed to be out of bed!"

"Bruce never told me to stay in bed. Just to get some rest.", the captain retorted just as a cup of fresh tea was put in his hands by said doctor. "Well, now I am. Steve, you can't just-"

"But I'm fine. It's nothing I can't get over in a few hours time."

"You're starting to sound like Tony.", Sam pointed out, putting a plate in the sink. Steve shrugged as said genius hid a smirk behind his coffee mug. "I guess he's rubbing off on me."

"In more ways than one.", Bucky quietly added. Steve glanced his way. "Huh?"

"Nothing."

"Steve, you look different.", Natasha voiced. "Like... younger somehow."

"You realize he's technically the youngest, right?", Rhodey asked. "Actually Sam's a bit younger than him. Peter's the youngest-youngest. Oh! And then there's the Twins.", Natasha retorted back.

At the mention of said teen, Tony smiled. "He's included?", he questioned.

"Yup! He's part of our family! Now back to the subject at hand..."

"Brother Steven, are you sure you are of better health? 'Tis unwise to not be in your bed to rest as Bruce advised.", Thor voiced, looking at said brunet then back at Steve who pouted. "I really don't want to be cooped in my room for so long though. I'm feeling better. I just needed some rest."

"Yeah, let's be the judge of that, shall we?", Tony sassed, walking over to Steve and placing his hand on his forehead. He jumped back at the high warmth he felt. "Yikes! Steve, you're no longer accounted for as Capsicle. You're way past 100 for sure!"

"Vision, is the thermometer there? Pass it over if it is.", Bruce asked. Vision passed over said tool. Bruce wasted no time to check Steve's temperature. He winced when he saw the result. "Steve, you're close to 200."

At that, everyone got up and started impatiently escorting the leader back to his room. Steve protested the whole way and still did so when they got him wrapped in a thicker blanket. He growled as Tony patted his head and rocked him in his lap. "If you're like this when I'm sick, I wondered how you would have acted when I was pre-serum."

"Probably thirty times worst than I did.", Bucky admitted. Steve had sneezed, quite cutely, making the others jump. "See? You're not fine, Steven! You have to stay in bed until you get better!", Tony scowled, sounding a bit out of character. It wasn't like him to scowl someone over their health, but since this was the love of his life (Not admitting it yet.) he had the right.

"But, who will take my place the next time a villain comes?"

"I'm sure we'll find someone. For now, you rest.", Natasha demanded. "Come on."

The team was escorted out the room. Tony whined about leaving, but Thor carried him right out over his shoulder. The door closed behind them. "Friday, keep tabs on Steve. On everything he does.", Bruce demanded.

 **"Of course, Dr. Banner. A fellow agent requests your attendance."**

The group went to the den just in time to see the entrance doors slid open. It revealed to be just Rene Jadeson. Sam eyed his outfit. "What's up with the _'Kill Bill'_ look?", he teased. Jadeson looked down at his clothes. It was a matching sweat jacket and pants set. Both parts were yellow with black stripes going down the sides. Rene wore black sneakers to match.

"It was the only training outfit they had in my size. I didn't have time to change since I had to urgently deliver this file. Agent Hill needs Captain Rogers to sign this. And by the way, I fucking love that movie."

"Same!", Clint agreed.

"Sorry, RDJ. Steve's sleeping right now. He's going through a... predicament.", Tony mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. Rene's eyebrows went up.

"What? You finally tapped it?"

Everyone giggled at the question. Tony crossed his arms. "No. But I wish I could. Anyways, what does he need to sign?"

"I didn't read it so I don't know.", the younger brunet admitted, handing over the envelope. Tony opened it and read the document inside. "Wow. Never thought Maria would go this far. Alright. I'll give it to him."

"Give what to me?"

The group turned to see Steve coming into the den. Minus the blanket. Bucky growled. "Damn it, Steve! We told you to stay inside the room! And Friday, I thought Bruce told you to keep tabs on Steve!"

No answer from the AI. Vision crossed his arms. "I sense something is wrong.", he muttered, catching Wanda's eye.

Steve had pouted at his older counterpart. "I don't want to stay cooped up in my room!", he whined like a child. It actually got some shock from the team. Steve never would throw a tantrum like that. Not like an immature child. And he'd always followed orders. Maybe this sickness is doing more to him than they thought.

"Steve, please. For the sake of your health. Get back into bed.", Pietro pleaded. The older blonde sighed. "I really don't want to. It sucks being cooped up in that room."

"Captain Rogers, your teammates are really worried for you. Maybe you should stay in your room until you feel better. I mean you're looking kind of pale.", Rene advised softly. Steve looked his way and shrugged. "Alright. I'll go. Because you asked so nicely."

With that, he left.

Everyone's gazes turned from Steve's previous spot to where Rene was. Under their wide-eyed stares the young agent stiffened and blushed. "What?"

"How did you get him to go to his room?", Wanda asked. Rene bit his lip, not really knowing the answer to that. "I don't know."

"Maybe it was his hazel eyes. They're so... glowing.", Pietro added in. Clint crossed his arms at that. Rene covered his eyes, rubbing the sides of them with the tips of his fingers. "No. Just have him sign the paper and bring it back ASAP.", he growled out before leaving the room.

Bruce blushed and squeaked suddenly, realizing what he had done. "Oh my gosh. I can't believe I did that."

"Bruce, does something ails you?", Thor asked with much concern. Bruce blushed more. "Uh... nothing out of the ordinary. I'm going to... go into the kitchen."

The doctor quickly rushed out. Everyone blinked, staying silent and not sure of what to say. A few minutes past until Bucky spoke up with a genuine grin. "Oh. Brucey's checking out asses now."

Tony laughed. "See? Told you RDJ has a nice ass!"

* * *

A month had passed since Steve was put on the sick list. Despite it being Steve, it was a practically harsh month.

Whenever someone tried to give him food or water, he would refuse like a baby and complain how he could take care of himself.

He didn't want even _Bucky_ to come into his room. He only let Bruce in only because the doctor threatened him.

That was the only time Steve didn't misbehave. Yes, Steven Grant Rogers also known as Captain America had misbehaved. They didn't know if it was because he was sick that he was acting all crazy or he just didn't like to be taken care of. Maybe that was Bucky's fault.

Doesn't matter, Steve wasn't acting himself at all. And it was so puzzling! It was pretty soon the team got their solution.

* * *

"I really don't get it. Why is he not listening to us? He's always listening to us!", Clint exclaimed one afternoon, throwing his arms up and flopping down on the couch next to Rhodey. "He's acting like a brat. Peter wasn't even acting like that."

"I'm sure Peter would disprove of his mama acting this way.", Sam teased lightly. Bucky placed an arm around his shoulders and nuzzled his neck. "I agree to that."

"Aaaahhh. Look at you two being all cute. Are you together now?", Tony asked, walking over to the two and patting them both on the shoulder. Sam coughed into his fist, blushing a bit. "Um..."

"Yes, Anthony. We are. And speaking of being together, when are you telling my bro you want to get with him?", Bucky retorted back. He claimed victory when Tony blushed and stepped back.

"..."

"Brownie points to Bucky for getting Tony to become speechless!", Pietro cheered.

"Shut it, Maximoff!"

"Guys, Steve's temperature seems it's never going down. It's been a whole month.", Bruce voiced out suddenly. He frowned deeply. So did Tony. He feared it was coming to that. "Bruce...", he whined, grabbing onto the doctor and shaking him. Behind the brunet scientist duo, Thor growled under his breath. Only Natasha seem to notice.

"I know, Tony. I know. But if this keeps up, we're probably going to have to send him to SHIELD clinic, the hospital or even Reed."

"NO WE ARE NOT! THAT MAN ISN'T TOUCHING MY STEVE!"

 **"Sir, you have visitors."** , Friday announced. The group turned as the entrance to the den opened revealing four individuals. "Wow. This is unexpected.", Clint admitted.

The foursome (not that kind) walked in, surprisingly dressed in civilian clothing.

"Dr. Banner, I require your assistance.", Reed Richards said. "Good afternoon, by the way."

"Hi, Reed!", Clint greeted, waving. "And Ben, you look... great."

"Are you teasing me, Barton?", the rocky male growled.

Clint shook his head and then smiled innocently. "Nope."

"So, what do you need my help with, Dr. Richards?", Bruce asked. Susan stepped forward, pulling her brother along. "It's Johnny. He seems... abnormal than usual."

"Sue, I told you I'm just fine.", Johnny protested. Somehow it didn't sound childish. It sounded more... Steve. "You're not fine. You're cooler than normal and you're eating a lot more than usual also. And I don't like your absense of pranks! You also haven't burned down anything for a month or dated! What the hell?!"

Reed sighed as the others eyed Susan from her rant. "She believes something is definitely wrong with Johnny... physically. Like he has a disease or something. I checked him over and his body temperature is lower than normal. That and his powers don't seem to... exist. Yet, I found his body was altered. By some serum or something."

Everyone's eyes widened. Tony had stiffened when a thought came to his mind. "No. He. Didn't."

"Hey, guys. It's getting boring in my room and it's way to cold in there.", Steve voiced as he walked into the something. He stopped when he sensed the tension that circulated around everyone. "What's going on? Oh, hi!", Steve greeted, waving to Johnny who waved back. Bucky looked between the two blondes and whistled. "Damn. You two could have been twins or something."

"Yes, they would. They looked awfully _alike_ yet act so totally _different_.", Tony growled out. He stomped over to Johnny and grabbed his wrist. The group watched as he threw Johnny on the couch and got really close to his face. "How dare you?! Why?! Why would you do it, Steve?!"

Everyone gasped.

"Tony... what?", Rhodey questioned. Tony pointed at both Steve and Johnny. "They switched places! They pranked us! PRANKED US!"

Thor looked at 'Steve' and then at 'Johnny'. "Is this true?"

The blondes suddenly smirked and took their places side by side. It was kind of creepy of how so alike they looked. "Yup.", they answered in unison. Susan fell to her knees suddenly while Bucky turned away to hide his tears. "Johnny, why?!"

"Well, Steve called me and told me how he wanted to get back at the team. So I agreed to help.", the younger blonde admitted. Steve nodded. His blue eyes then narrowed in anger. "I wanted to get you all back from that time when you were teasing me about blushing! I wanted to have my revenge and boy does it taste so sweet!"

"You are evil. Loki, would be proud.", Natasha commented.

"Actually I am."

The green wearing mischevious god of chaos had appeared in the room, a grin on his face. "Brother, how long have you been here?", Thor asked. Loki laughed. "For a month actually. I aided Rogers in his prank. Whatever him or Storm couldn't do, I used my magic to conceal. I was here the whole time just invisible."

"And thank you, Loki.", Steve smiled.

"Anytime, Steve. Anytime."

"Okay, Steve, you're dialobical teaming up with Loki and Johnny! You spawn!", Clint shouted, pointing at the captain who rolled his eyes.

Ben then spoke up. "So Johnny, this whole time you were the captain while he was you?"

"Yes! It was pretty fun, too! I learned some things that are pretty interesting.", the fire wielder smirked, looking over at Tony. The brunet stiffened under his gaze then glared. "I will terminate you, Storm! Don't you dare say a word!"

"I won't... for now."

Johnny walked over to his sister and hugged her. "Sorry about this, Susie. But when Captain America ask for help I have to answer."

Susan just smiled and hugged her brother back. "Forgiven."

"Now let's head back to our building. I'm sure Stark's going to kick us out anyways.", Reed taunted playfully. Tony growled at him.

* * *

"I can't believe I got pranked by Captain America. For a month straight.", Sam had sighed later that night.

"I know. It's awesome, but at the same time you want to bury your head in the dirt and hide there for the rest of your life.", Clint agreed. Steve looked up from his sketchpad and frowned. "Sorry. Was it that harsh?"

"No, not really, but it was still pretty bad.", Natasha answered.

"You got her 'soft' side to come out.", Rhodey commented on. The redhead glared at him. "I wasn't 'soft'... just concerned."

"Hmm."

Tony had came over and sat down next to Steve. He pouted at him. "I can't believe you did that, Capsicle. Nor can I believe you mananged to play a prank with Johnny Storm and Loki of all people."

"Loki and I get along pretty well. And Johnny's pretty okay when you get to know him."

The brunet blinked. Blinked again and then scooted away from Steve. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say those words."

"Whatever you say, Tony."

* * *

 **Can anyone else imagine Johnny and Steve pranking their teams like this? I somehow can. Just act like they normally do to confuse the others into thinking something is wrong with them. Pretty funny.**

 **Review! XD**


	10. The Foxy Matchmaker

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Don't own zilch. Just misc. characters, such as the cameo character, Kieyana.**

 **Notes: This is probably the chapter you all (Stony shippers) been waiting for.**

 **Warnings: Stony shippers may want to prepare their feels. I know I did while writing this chapter. So yes, bit of sexual content, guy on guy, randomness and other previous warnings.**

* * *

Chapter 10 - Foxy Matchmaker

Thor had walked in the kitchen one morning to have a pretty normal scenery. Tony and Bucky were drinking coffee as usual, Natasha was reading the news on her tablet, Pietro and Wanda were drinking orange juice while eating some pancakes that Steve had made and the said blonde was finishing up with the bacon.

"Aye! Morning, friends!", the thunder god greeted. "Good morning, Thor. I made bacon if you want some.", Steve said, placing said delicious food on a plate with other cooked strips.

Clint had walked in, smelling the food and rushed over and grabbed a piece. He moaned at the flavor and hugged Steve. "I love you so much!" Tony glared right at Clint's back for that comment. The taller blonde chuckled and patted the archer's head. "I'm sure you do, Clint."

The archer nodded and grabbed another slice of bacon.

"I do. But I also love bacon."

"And me.", Pietro added, wiggling his eyebrows. Clint looked at him and hummed. "Maybe. Maybe, kiddo."

Wanda giggled as her twin pouted.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "It's a definite yes. Anyways, there's a meeting in about an hour and a half. If we don't want to be yelled at again by Fury, I suggest we hurry."

"Don't have to tell me twice. I woke up in a good mood and I rather not want to shoot anybody today.", Bucky commented, drinking the last bit of his coffee before standing and leaving the room. Sam shook his head. "Why did I hook up with the violent one?"

"One of the things I warned you about, Sammy.", Steve teased. "Though I find it very cute. Have you kissed yet?"

"Steve!", Sam whined. The others laughed as Steve walked over and started to pinch at Sam's cheeks. "It's adorable! My best friends are dating!"

"Come on! Stop it!"

Sam pushed away Steve's hands and then jumped up out his seat and ran out the kitchen.

* * *

"Sir, they're here.", Coulson announced as he went up to Fury's side. The director looked over his shoulder to see the large group that consisted of the unstable heroes.

"Ah. I see you're on time.", he said, glancing at his watch and taking a seat at the head of the table. "Well, Director, we didn't want to get yelled at... again.", Natasha sighed. She looked over to see how both Wanda and Pietro was bouncing in their seats. "Though those two tried escaping again."

"We hate meetings.", Wanda said as if she had no care in the world with an added shrug. Fury stared at her for a minute before shaking his head and sighing. "Anyways, I called for this meeting because you have another mission. The situation calls for pretty much everyone."

"What is it this time, Director?", Bruce asked.

"Well, apparently, there has been sightings of abnormal occurrences in the forest nearby. People who live or camped there say there has been small fires, strange dreams and noises during any time of the day, and even sightings of something bright, orange and fast. One camper managed to get a picture, but it's blurred a bit."

Fury displayed a photo on the screen that popped up. Pretty much there was a blurred shot taken of whatever it was. It was moving fast between the trees. It looked about the size of a person and was colored orange.

"Hmm. Looks kind of like an animal.", Rhodey pointed out.

"You think it's another animal experiment gone wrong?", Vision questioned.

"That's what I want you to find out. I'm assigning you to the forest and to the find whatever that is. Report back as soon as it's captured.", Fury ordered. Tony groaned.

"No. I don't do woods."

"But you'll do Steve.", Bucky muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, Stark."

"So, Fury, we have to camp out in the woods? Who knows how long we have to be out there?", Clint questioned. Fury nodded. "I know. That's why we have a cabin built there. You'll be staying in there until this creature is caught. Agent Jadeson shall be your chaperone. Understood?"

"Yes, sir.", they answered just as Rene walked in. And not in a _Kill Bill_ suit either! "Sir, Agent Hill told me to report to you. Something about you needing me for something.", he said. Fury nodded. "Right. I assigned you on your first mission, Jadeson. You will be chaperoning the Avengers on a mission."

The young agent blinked. He looked at each Avenger with wide eyes. "Uh... say what now?"

"I'm just as baffled at his decision, RDJ. He's trying to get you killed.", Clint said. Rene looked at Fury who glared at Clint. "No, I'm not, Barton. I just want Jadeson to experience the work of an agent. Besides, if I wanted to get him killed I would have done something more drastic to kill him. But, I like the kid. I see he has the potential to handle you people."

"I appreciate that, Director. I'll take the mission."

* * *

The very next day, the group found themselves in one of the Quinjets heading out to the forest just miles away from New York. Clint was piloting the plane, looking at the panel to see how much more distance they had to cover.

"Just two more miles. So, Pietro, stop tapping your legs please!"

"I can't help it! Unlimitless energy, remember?!"

"Don't yell at me! I'll shoot an arrow in both your feet! You hear me?!"

"You have to catch me first!"

"I'll shoot you now while we're in this jet! You have no where to run!"

"Hey, you two! Quit fighting this instant! Just kiss and make up already!", Rhodey ordered. Clint huffed, turning back to the window. Pietro pouted. "Clint, I'm sorry." He hated Clint being upset with him. Like mad-upset.

He got up from his seat and walked over to the pilot archer and snaked his arms around his shoulders. "Please forgive me?"

"Pietro, remove your arms."

"Oh, Clint, quit the melodrama.", Natasha huffed, flipping through the book she brought with her. She closed it and turned to Rene who was sitting next to her. "See what you have to deal with? There's a lot of sexual tension here. Wanda, Vision, Sam and Bucky are the only ones to resolve theirs."

"Nat, there is no one else who has to resolve se- tension. Resolve tension.", Steve said. Natasha rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah right. You're one of the worst, Mr. Virgin. Someone here is hot and ready for you and you know you like them back!"

"That's not true!"

"You're going to regret saying those words."

"Guys, I can see our cabin from here.", Bruce announced, peeking through a window. Clint had landed in an open area next to said cabin. Once the jet was settled, everyone started to get off the jet. Tony had stopped in front of the cabin and whistled. "Impressive."

It looked more than just a cabin. It was about two stories tall with large glass windows and a driveway. Even though they didn't know it yet, there was a pool in the back and a jacuzzi.

"First one in gets to choose the rooms!"

"No! Sorry, Mr. Stark, but the Director assigned me to give out the rooms. And there's only six rooms and 13 of us. Luckily, one of them has a bunkbed and a single in it.", Rene pointed out. Tony sighed. "Fine. Fine. As long as I get to bunk with someone I like."

* * *

The group had finally finished loading their equipment and luggage inside the cabin. Rene had checked out the rooms and came into the den to get them. "Alright, follow me upstairs."

They followed the young brunet upstairs to tour out the rooms. They stopped at the first two rooms. One of them was the one with three beds. "Wanda and Pietro, I know you two are usually together, but I'm giving you separate rooms. Yet they're right next to each other. Is that okay?"

"Sure, Rene. I don't mind. Who is with me?", Wanda asked.

"Natasha and Vision. I find it more appropriate since Natasha is a woman, also and Vision, well... he really doesn't need a room. Also, I figured you would want your boyfriend in the same room, right?"

"Yup!", Wanda cheered, glomping Vision. Natasha smiled. "So far from what I seen, I can handle these two."

"Great. In this room, I want Pietro and Clint."

"Now you're just giving him the chance to perv on me. Come on, Re-Re! Don't do this!", Clint pleaded. Rene placed his hands on his hips and frowned at the older male. "Dude, don't call me that. Besides, Natasha was right. You need you just hook up already."

"But-"

"That's final."

Clint crossed his arms while Pietro smirked.

Rene then opened one of the other doors to the next room. "Bucky and Sam, you have this room."

"Alright.", Sam said, walking into the room with Bucky following. The older placed his arm around his shoulders and kissed his cheek. "We're totally pushing the beds together. I always wanted to get frisky in the wilderness.", he teased. Sam gasped. "Buchanan!"

"What? Aren't falcons wild birds? We're in your natural habitant, baby!"

"I'll make you sleep on the floor."

Rene just went on to the next room. He really didn't want to hear any more of the Winter Soldier's sexual comments. That one kind of made Tony a bit more sane. "Anyways, Rhodey and Tony, you have this room. Steve and Thor, you share this room. And Dr. Banner, you wouldn't mind bunking with me, right?"

"Not at all, Rene.", the doctor said.

Tony spoke up. "Wait! I want a change!", he demanded. Rene huffed. "Oh come on! Really?! This isn't an intervention, Mr. Stark!"

"Look, Rhodey is my best friend and all, but I want a room with Steve!"

Said blonde had blushed at the statement, his baby blues reaching the size of an owl's. "What? We don't even get along like that, Tony!"

"We haven't had an agrument in forever. Besides, it's not like we're going to start a civil war!" (1)

Steve's blush disappeared. "Really, Tony? A war pun? On _me_ of all people?"

Tony ignored the question and waltzed over to Steve. He grabbed both the blonde's hands and got down on one knee as if he was proposing. Well, he could be. He should. He _definitely_ should.

"Forget that. Please tell RDJ to bunk us together!"

"Tony, I am team leader, but Fury placed Rene in charge of this mission."

"He's a chaperone!"

"Mr. Stark, get up off your knees now!", Rene ordered. Tony huffed and quickly got up on his feet. He didn't let go of Steve's hands though. The blush was back. "T-Tony? Can you let go?"

"Your hands are kinda soft, Capsicle. I think I'll hold onto them for a while."

Rhodey stepped up. "Can I just have some input on the room situation?" Rene nodded. "Might as well. As long it goes with Mr. Stark.", he growled out, glaring at said man. Tony just ignored him. "Well, how about I bunk with you? Thor with Bruce and Steve with Tony? Besides, I think Steve can handle Tony better. He goes with Bruce, we're going to have to rebuild a cabin. If he goes with Thor, well... probably the same thing. I doubt you want to bunk with him."

"Alright. Thor, you wouldn't mind Bruce bunking with you?"

"Not at all, young Son of Jade! I would very much like to room with the doctor."

Thor placed his very muscular arm around Bruce's shoulders, pulling him out his thoughts. Bruce blushed from the sudden closeness. "Uh... Thor?"

"Yes, Bruce?"

"You're pulling a Tony on me here."

"Bruce, you don't mind.", Sam said. Bruce sighed. He smiled up at Thor who smiled back. "You're right. I don't."

* * *

After they were settled, which took about two hours, they set out to start their search for the mystery creature. Each of them were dressed for the occasion, too. With packs!

Steve was reading the files Fury had given them. "The last sighting was by the river just about west from here. A couple saw it through the bushes. The woman complained about a strange feminine voice, telling her to give in."

"Give in to what?", Clint asked. He had stopped to adjust the laces on his hiking boots. "Doesn't say. Strangest thing was that she ended up attacking her boyfriend. And this happened two days ago."

"She attacked him? Well, I guess we can infer that the creature has mind controlling powers.", Wanda said. "Like me."

"Probably. Now we know what we're up against.", Vision pointed out. Surprisingly, he was also wearing an outfit fit for hiking. Still with his cape though. Tony was taking this opportunity to drool over how fit the shorts were on Steve. They hugged his ass just right. "Thank goodness for that. Clint, I hope you brought those shock arrows.", Bucky teased. Clint smirked, pulling out said arrows and readying them for action. "Damn straight I did!"

"River! I see the river!", Pietro shouted, pointing out very dramatically.

* * *

Up in the trees, golden eyes watched in amusement. She giggled watching the group intensely.

She noticed a man with a metal arm. She smiled seeing how handsome he was. "Ooh! Very, very cute! Maybe I can play with him for a while!"

But then her smile quickly dropped as he placed an arm around a slightly smaller man. The two shared a chaste kiss and then an Eskimo one. The female creature frowned. "Phooey. He's taken. Maybe I could... Wait!"

She crawled further up to get a good view of two in particular. One was a blonde. From what she read in his aura, he was extremely innocent. Probably a virgin. "Hmm." She watched a brunet walked up to him. The blonde blushed at the affectionate gesture the brunet did, putting his hand on the blonde's shoulder. Reading his aura, the creature became confused. It was so mixed, but it blended with the whitish blue one of the blonde so well. She smirked, knowing exactly what it meant.

"Looks as if there's some sexual tension that needs to be resolved."

She looked around to have the perfect candidate she can possess over. She spotted two females. One had a really dark aura. Too dark for her taste and the other had a red aura but radiated off... crazy. "Nope! Who else could be... Ah ha!"

She spotted a small slender figure. A brunet with light caramel skin. It looked to be a male, but he was just right with that calm aura of his. Ooh! Something else, too!

"Perfect! Perfect! Perfect!"

And she disappeared in the shadows.

* * *

Pietro looked up into the trees and pouted in confusion. "Anybody else hear something?"

"Like what?", his twin asked, sitting right on Vision's back. Pietro shrugged. "I don't know."

There was a sudden rustle from the bushes. Everyone stepped back and readied themselves. Natasha had her tasers out. She was itching to shock something all day. Clint took a step from her noticing. "Geez."

"Everybody, be on alert now. It could be anything.", Steve warned, ready to toss his shield or use it for protection. Tony nodded. "Yeah, like a wild animal. Thor, if it's an animal, crush it!"

"Certainly, Iron Brother!"

"What? Thor, don't listen to him! It could be an innocent squirrel!", Bruce protested. "Or an angry bear. Bears live in the woods. And bears are crazy." (2)

"Geez, Tony! You are so mean!", Wanda scowled. The bushes rustled again. Bucky pulled Sam behind him, ignoring the younger's whines. "It's coming!"

Out of the bushes, something small, slender and red popped out. The group blinked as a small fox trotted up to them, whimpering at them. It was silent as stares were exchanged. The fox came closer and whimpered again. After many minutes went by, Clint spoke up. "Aaaaahhhh! I couldn't shoot such a cute creature!", he cooed, nuzzling her.

The fox happily barked, licking him. "Oooh! So cute!"

"Clint, put that thing down! It probably has rabies!", Tony hissed. The fox stopped playing with Clint and growled at Tony. The genius stepped back. "What the hell?! I can't believe that little-"

"Stark! Clint's right. She's a cutie!", Rene chuckled, sliding down to Clint's side to pet the small woodland animal. The fox happily jumped in his lap and cuddled in his chest. Rhodey took out a camera and started to take pictures. "This shall be in the album."

"Good. I always loved to pose for the camera!", the fox squealed. Rene and Clint screamed, quickly rushing back behind Pietro and Steve for protection. "It just spoke! Spoke, man!", Clint hollered. The fox nodded. "Yes. Yes, I did. I can do that."

"See?! That thing has to be evil!", Tony growled. The fox suddenly had orange wisps swirling around her. Replacing the animal was a woman. And she wasn't an ordinary woman. She stood at least Thor's height, her skin was pale orange. Her hair was loose and colored a fire red blending into orange, stopping down to her knees and two strands going over her shoulders, stopping at her stomach. Her nails were long like the pearly white fangs she had. Her eyes were sharp and golden with mischief. The most shocking thing about her though was her added animalistic features. On her cheeks were three whisker like stripes on each. On her head was large fox ears. And behind her was a fluffy tail. No scratch that. She had _nine_ tails.

"Oh I assure you, I'm not evil. Mischievous, but not evil.", she grinned. Steve narrowed his eyes at her. "So you're the one terrorizing people, huh?"

"Terrorizing? Oh no, cutie! Not terrorizing! Just having harmless fun!"

Tony huffed under his breath, showing a hint of jealously mixed with possession. He didn't like someone calling _his_ Steve a cutie. Well, he wasn't his yet, but he will be. He will make sure of it!

"A man was attacked by his own girlfriend! That's not harmless!", Sam argued. The fox woman pouted. "Alright, true. But still just one person."

She then vanished and popped up beside Rene. The group turned, eyes wide in surprise. "What the hell?"

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Kieyana. Fox Goddess of fun..." Her golden eyes then flashed pink, looking over to Steve and Tony. "... and of love." The duo gulped, stepping back.

"Love?"

"Yes, love. And I sense something between some lovely fellows. I believe I can be of assistance."

"Right. Listen. The only thing you can assist us with is coming with us peacefully. No harm will come to you if you cooperate.", Rhodey offered. Kieyana tapped her cheek in thought. "Hmm. I don't know. I mean I wanted to have a little fun first."

"Oh my... Listen, lady! Fox! Fox-lady or whatever the heck you are! You have been causing a lot of trouble here!", Steve protested. Kieyana's tails swished behind her in annoyance. "Well, duh! I live for that! For the past 3,520 years in fact!"

"Thou be older than me!", Thor exclaimed.

Bruce's eyes widened at that. "No way!"

"Aye, Bruce."

"I thought I sense something about you! Thor, son of Odin! I heard of many tales of you! Both of past and present. I must say though, you're more than just a god at glance." Kieyana grinned, showing her pearly whites between red lips. She went over to Thor's side and started to caress his bare shoulders. Bruce had turned away. "If you want, dear god of thunder, we shall abandon these mortals and go have fun somewhere more private."

Thor shook his head. He grabbed the fox woman's hands and gently pushed her back. "As pleasing as the offer would sound to man or god such as myself, but I must decline. I rather not upset the one I deem to court."

"Shame. But I will respect that, Thor. For now, I shall continue my path of fun!"

"Wait! No!", Sam shouted. But it was too late. Kieyana jumped up into a tree, giving them a Chesire Cat like smile before disappearing. Natasha sighed. "Aaaaahhhh! Why?!"

* * *

The team had spent the next eight hours looking for and chasing the fox goddess. They couldn't catch her and eventually gave up for the day. By the time they made it back to the cabin, each individual was covered in dirt, twigs, and other earthy things. Clint and Sam even got a few feathers in their hair from birds wanting to be their friends. No really, the Bird Bros walked past a tree, birds landed on them and started to tweet at them all sweetly like a scene from Snow White.

Surprisingly, Bruce didn't Hulk out once. He was close to many times though.

"I. Hate. Foxes.", Tony mumbled, storming up to his and Steve's shared room. Steve went in behind him, unclipping his shield from his back. "I think we all do for now, Tony. Let's just shower, eat and go to bed. I'm sure tomorrow will be better."

Tony chuckled, smiling at Steve. "If there's one thing I can say I like about you, Stevie, is your positive attitude. Somehow, it always brightens my day."

Steve blushed, shifting on his feet nervously. "Uh... well... I try, Tony."

"If that was trying, then I don't know what is."

The brunet then went over to Steve and hugged him around his waist. The blonde stiffened at the affection Tony was showing. He noticed that was happening a lot lately. Tony didn't seem to just be teasing Steve, but actually meaning his affectionate words and actions. Truthfully, it made Steve like Tony even more. Well, more than _like_. He actually was crushing on the dude. Loving him, in fact.

Steve realized his (unknowing) returned feelings when Peter first stayed at the Tower. The last day Peter stayed. He woke up that morning in Tony's arms, feeling warm and at ease with himself. The blonde was cuddled to his chest while Tony was holding onto Steve's waist and nuzzling in his soft hair. Steve remembered how Tony greeted him with a smile, telling him good morning. They got out the bed, a little awkwardly, but not strange to each other.

There was no arguing, insults, negativity. Nothing but innocent greetings and touches.

After that, Steve didn't deny it any longer.

He was hopelessly in love. And with Anthony Edward Stark.

"We should probably shower now. This mud is rather itchy when it finally dries in your pants.", Tony said, pulling away from Steve. "You want to use the bathroom first?"

"N-no. You go ahead, Tony. I... I think I left my toileries bag downstairs. You can go first. Besides, you had gotten worse than me. I think you should go ahead and then get Bruce to patch you up."

Tony shrugged, grabbing his towel. As expected, it was red and gold. "Alright. I'll be out in a few minutes."

Steve nodded, watching the man head into the bathroom. He let out a breath before rushing out to go clear his head.

Golden eyes had watched the scene unravel from under Steve's bed. Kieyana grinned, crawling from under her hiding spot. "Well, this is easier than I thought! They're both so cute and clueless to each other's affections. They need to be together. They'll make the cutest babies and all!" She sighed happily, visualizing her current victims' wedding. "It shall be spectacular! Time for a love connection!"

* * *

Rene was sitting in his bed in his room after a recent shower and change of clothes. He was glad he packed his favorite sweatpants and sweatshirt. He felt relaxed now after he took a roll down a hill into a rabbit hole. Thank goodness he only got a minor cut on his arm.

The young agent was finishing his day one report just as an orange wisp entered the room from under the door. It then came behind him on the bed and formed into the mischievous fox goddess. Kieyana tapped on his shoulder. The brunet turned and let out a shriek, falling right out the bed. Kieyana helped him up immediately and begun inspecting him of serious injuries. "Ooh, little one! I didn't mean to frighten you so! Are you hurt?!"

"Well, besides the shock I'm getting over, yeah I'm fine. What the hell are you doing here?! We've been trying to capture you all day and here you are! Willing sitting in my bed!"

Kieyana giggled. She pinched Rene's cheeks and then kissed them. "You're so adorable when you're angry! You could have been my baby boy! I would have loved raising and spoiling you!"

"Lady, I have a mother and frankly, I have no intentions on ever replacing her!" (SHOUT-OUT TO THE MOMS ON MOTHER'S DAY!)

Kieyana pressed a clawed finger on Rene's lips. "Shush, feisty little one! You wouldn't want the others to come up here, would you?"

Rene smirked. "Actually, that's the plan. HEY! GUYS, THE FOX LADY IS HERE! SHE'S TRYING TO- MMMPHF!"

Kieyana covered Rene's mouth and pressed him on the bed, looking him right in his hazel eyes. "Now, now. That isn't how you should behave. Just stay calm and allow this to happen."

The agent began thrashing about, but he couldn't get out of Kieyana's hold. Her goddess strength wouldn't allow it. Rene had began to feel unconscious, sensing control whirling within his body. He watched through half lidded eyes as Kieyana became thin air with a grin on her face.

The door had busted opened by Natasha's kick, allowing her, Clint and Bucky to enter the room. They stopped seeing the fox goddess now gone and Rene knocked out on the bed.

Clint groaned. "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

* * *

Steve had went back into the room, ready to take a shower now. He hated the mud drying on his legs. It really did itch. But at least he was able to clear his head. "I can't believe it. Why did I have to be-"

"Steve, you can have the shower now."

The blonde looked up and gawked at the glory before him. Tony had just left the bathroom, steaming releasing behind him to outline his perfect body. The billionaire was only in his towel that was loosely tucked around his waist, showing off his abs and even his...

'Oh goodness. Please just let that towel fall right now. No! Bad Steve! Don't think about Tony's glorious body right now! You're suppose to be Mr. Virgin right now!', he first thought until he had another thought. 'Damn it, Natasha!'

"Steve, did you hear me?", Tony asked, slipping on some boxers and pants before taking off his towel. As much as he _wanted_ Steve to see his _naked_ body, he wanted to be slow first. He did want Steve to be comfortable around him. That and Steve looks a little... flustered now.

The captain shook himself out his trance. "Yeah. I heard you. Thanks, Tony.", he answered, staring at Tony's bare chest. It was quite a sight with the Arc Reactor in the middle of it. Like really sexy. Tony altogether was sexy. He was _mouthwatering_ after a hot shower.

'And I need a cold one.'

He grabbed his towel and clothes, trying not to let his eyes wander over Tony's body any longer. Tony watched as Steve immediately closed the bathroom door behind him. There was then a knock on the room door. Tony opened it, seeing it was just Thor. "What's up, big guy?"

"Son of Jade has fallen. The fox goddess of fun and chaos has done something to him.", Thor answered. Tony sighed. "I'm coming, Thor. Let me tell Steve."

"Aye."

Once the god left, Tony went over to the bathroom door and knocked on it. No answer. "Uh, Steve. We're needed in Rhodey and RDJ's room now."

Still no answer.

Tony crossed his arms and shrugged. He'll come for Steve later.

He walked out the room and headed down the hall where everyone else was. "Steve's still taking his shower.", he announced, spotting an unconscious chaperone on the bed. Natasha glanced at him, turned back to Jadeson, and then a double take on Tony.

"Wait. Why are you shirtless?"

"Didn't think to grab one. So what happened?"

"Well, we walked in to see that devious minx on Rene and disappearing into thin air. I think she knocked him out or something.", Bucky answered. Said agent then began to stir awake. He opened his eyes to reveal gold ones instead of hazel. His hair remained short, but changed into a vibrant red. He also grew fox like features of ears, claws, fangs, whisker marks and even a tail. Wait, scratch that again. Nine tails.

Everyone stepped back, watching him carefully. "Rene? Are you...?", Bruce started. Rene crossed his arms and spoke. But it wasn't his voice. "Oh, please! Don't act as if you haven't seen stranger!"

"Kieyana!", Sam shouted, pointing an accusing finger. The fox, in Rene's body, nodded. "Yes! It is I!"

"Why are you in the Son of Jade's body?", Thor asked. "I told you. I'm here to help with a hook-up. I am also the fox goddess of love as well. Now, where's the cute blonde of yours?", she asked, mostly directed at Tony. "Uh... cleaning up? I mean because of chasing you we got filthy and had to get cleaned up.", Wanda answered. Kieyana, still in Rene's body, glanced at her blankly. She then smirked over to Tony. "Oh. I apologize for that. I figured he was freshening up after some _other_ activity."

"What else would he be doing?"

"Something that rhymes with... smex and involves scratching, screaming and pillow biting."

"WHAT?!", Tony hollered. "WHY WOULD STEVE DO SUCH A THING?!" He didn't like how the goddess assumed such an act of his Steve. His innocent, pure, too cute to be good Steve.

Kieyana giggled, which sounded weird coming out of Rene. "Well, he's sharing a room with you, no? I figured after he saw you in just a towel he would beg you to ravish him."

Bucky made a face. "Don't say that about my brother."

"Yeah. Steve's too innocent. He's not some whore. Also, how'd you know?", Tony questioned. Kieyana did some funk hand motion in front of her face. "I am a goddess. I know all. I sense the affections you two hold for each other. I think your teammates are quite tired of your silly pining for each other. Let me end their suffering and yours."

It was silent after that. Just silence.

After that, everyone sighed. "Finally! Someone who understands us!", Sam cried out, hugging Kieyana. Tony gawked in shock. "What?!"

"Tony, it's true. You and Steve are dancing in circles around each other. I know this doesn't seem right coming out of me but I have to admit... you two should just fuck and get it over with already.", Bruce shyly said. Tony looked his way. "No! Bruce! You're my Science Bro!"

"I know, Tony. But seriously."

Tony stayed quiet after that. "..."

"He's speechless.", Pietro whispered in his twin's ear, getting a giggle out of her. Kieyana's ears twitched in happiness. "Great! Now I propose a deal."

"Uh-uh. I don't make deals with goddesses. Especially ones that intend on taking away Steve's virginity.", Bucky growled. Kieyana giggled again, shaking her head. "Who said I was going to be the one to take Steve's virginity?"

"What's this about my virginity?"

The group turned to see their team leader walking into the room. Tony wanted to fall at his knees seeing what he was wearing. Steve looked absolutely adorable in an over-sized Iron Man tee shirt. He was blushing a little, too.

'Damn it, Steve! I really want to throw you down and take your virginity now!'

"Nothing about your virginity. Say, where did you get that shirt?", Pietro asked. Steve shrugged. "Honestly, I saw it like this. I swore I picked up another, but it was like this. I went to find another shirt, but all my shirts now consist of Iron Man, Tony, red and gold." His blush grew as his eyes darted over to Tony. He noticed the look on the man's face. He looked... hungry.

Steve then heard a laugh and turned to the bed. His eyes widened. "Uh... R-Rene?"

"Sorry, Mr. Cute and Pure. I have taken over Rene's body.", Kieyana claimed. Steve blinked. "Wha...?"

"Kieyana, the fox goddess, took over his body, Steve.", Natasha cleared. Steve looked at her and then back at the goddess. Two seconds later, he was laid out on the floor knocked out.

* * *

About thirty minutes later, the group, minus Tony who wanted to escape from the goddess' madness and Steve who was in his bed after he was fainted, found themselves in the den. Kieyana, still in Rene's body, was settled in a pile of pillows looking at each remaining Avenger. She then turned away, finding more interest in examing her claws. "So... what do you plan to do to me?"

"Turning you in, that's what.", Rhodey answered. He honestly found it creepy that the fox decided to possess his roommate's body. Sleeping in the same room with a creature like that seem... he didn't want to think about it. Kieyana pouted. "Oh, why? I'm stuck inside this little one's body. That would mean he would be captured and locked up, too, right?"

"She's right.", Clint agreed. "And we can't do that to Re-Re. I actually like the kid. Kind of like a younger brother."

"Indeed. So I suppose you agree to my deal. If you cooperate I promise to leave his body."

"Fine.", Vision said.

Kieyana stood up and grinned. "Once your Tony and Steve finally confess their feelings and become the power couple that they should be then I shall leave this body."

"That would take like ten years!", Wanda said. "They're very reluctant."

"It's a challenge for me then. And I love challenges! Now everyone go to bed! We have a long day tomorrow!"

"What?! You just can't-"

"All I wanna do is love your body! Whoooa-oh oh oh!", Kieyanna sung loudly. (3)

Natasha stood up and began pushing the others out the room. "Alright! Come on, guys! You heard our possessed chaperone! Long day tomorrow!"

Kieyana smiled when they were out of sight. She had heard someone question how did she know Christina Aguilera. She was over 3,000 years old. She knew.

* * *

Blue eyes had opened up to the warmth radiating around his body the next morning. He shifted, feeling a familiar weight on his waist and touches on his lower back. He looked forward, noticing a dim blue light right in front of his face.

"Oh..."

The other shifted, grumbling under his breath. "Point Break... he likes you, man... just... get it in there..."

"Tony."

"I promise... ah... I won't... blow anything up..."

"Tony."

"Steve... don't... listen to... Natasha... leather... hugs you ass... nicely..."

Steve blushed. He shook Tony harder, waking the man out his sleep. "What? What? Who let them out? Pot roast?" Tony felt someone in his arms and looked and saw it was Steve. He smiled. "Morning, lovely."

"Morning to you, too. What are you doing in my bed, Tony?"

Tony shrugged. He really didn't know why he was in Steve's bed, but he was loving it. "I honestly don't know. I swore I went to sleep in my own bed. And I don't sleepwalk."

"You talk in your sleep though.", Steve teased. He unconsciously cuddled closer to Tony, nuzzling his chest. The brunet continued to smile, drawing Steve closer and hugging his waist even tighter. "Sometimes, yeah. Hope I didn't say anything to scar your innocent mind."

"Nothing that bad.", Steve answered, blushing. "Just you think leather hugs my butt nicely."

Tony had no shame saying, "It would if you wore it, Stevie. Just once... for me?"

"Tony..."

"You know you want to."

The two then exchanged brown and blue glances. Tony pressed his forehead against Steve's. "You don't think this is weird?" Steve brushed his fingers against Tony's facial hair, then drawing his fingers against Tony's neck. "No. Not really. Honestly, it's comforting. And we faced weirder." The brunet nodded, humming lightly at Steve's light touches. Really they were easing. "Right. Like Loki wearing spandex for a whole day." Steve chuckled. "I remember that. I surprised he didn't kill Clint that day."

"He kind of owned him. Clint did serve as his mind slave."

"Right."

They drew themselves even closer. Steve blushed, realizing how far apart their lips were. He could feel Tony breathing against his own. Their noses brushed ever so lightly and they could stare right in each other's souls. There was only silence between them as they shifted, almost ready to...

"Guys, breakfast is ready!"

The two immediately parted away, jumping out the bed and fixing their clothes as if they were doing something... intense. The duo frowned seeing it was the fox goddess-possessed Rene at the door. Tony growled. "What the hell are you doing here, Kieyana?"

"Getting you for breakfast.", she answered innocently. Steve felt uneasy hearing a female's voice coming out of a male's body. Sure Rene's voice wasn't that deep, but... still creepy. "Um..."

"Oh sorry. Was I interrupting something here? Maybe a baby making session?"

"No! Steve and I weren't doing that!"

'Even though he would look amazing with a baby... Damn it, I have a pregnancy kink! Wait, would I? Do I?'

"Could have confused me. Steve here smells like you. As an animal, I would know what scenting is. That's scenting.", Kieyana smirked, her eyes flashing pink. Tony was quiet for a moment before he realized something. "It was you! You did it!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You know damn well what I was talking about! You fucking bit-"

"Tony! Such language!", Steve scowled, placing his hands on his hips. Anybody on the team would say Steve picked up that habit from Pepper. She does that a lot when she too scowls Tony. Said brunet sighed, glanced over at Steve and glared back at Kieyana, who was smugly smiling. "Just you wait."

"I'll be waiting. Now come and eat breakfast! You'll need your energy for later!", she responded, winking and running off. Steve had slowly sank down to the floor. There was a grey cloud floating over him. Not for real, but like in those little cartoon shows when a character is upset. You know? No? Okay. He was on the floor though. Tony looked down at him and kneeled next to his side, shaking him gently. "Steve? Capsicle, are you alright?"

"Why does Rene freaking looks like that?!"

It was going to be a long story.

* * *

Eventually, the duo made it down to the dining room where the team was eating breakfast still. Steve was a little upset still. He was creeped out from Kieyana staring at him with pink eyes of mischief. Wanda and Natasha was staring, too, right over the rims of their orange juice filled glasses. Something wasn't right.

"Good morning, Steve. Sleep well?", Bruce asked. Steve nodded, watching the possessed chaperone smirk even wider.

"I did."

"So did I. Never knew Steve was so warm and soft to cuddle with.", Tony blurted. He quickly covered his mouth when his team snap their glances at him. Steve's was filled with surprise with an added nose blush. "I did not mean to say that."

"So meant it, Tony.", Clint teased.

"I agree.", Kieyana added. Tony glared at her. "Really? Control over my speech? How much more cliche could you get?"

"I don't know. Maybe as cliche it would be to have a nice candlelight dinner as I confess to my beloved of how much I want to love them, marry them, and even adopt a cute little spider powered brunet that possibly could be our love child."

Steve stared at her. "What?"

"Um... how does she know about Peter?", Tony asked, pointing at Kieyana while eying the others dangerously. Sam shifted in his seat. Seeing his discomfort, Bucky placed an arm around him. "Stark, isn't she a goddess? Wouldn't she have the power to know these kind of things?"

"No. She shouldn't! One of you told! Now snitch!"

Everyone stayed silent. They were actually shocked at Tony's rage right now. He would get angry, but never this angry. If he was some demonic being, his eyes would have probably change to red with fury. Steve had stepped forward and placed his hand on Tony's shoulder. The brunet looked back at him and calmed down easily. Steve smiled at him, dragging his hand down and grabbing onto Tony's. "It's alright, Tony. Just calm down. I'm sure whoever spoke about Peter didn't mean to. It was probably a slip of the tongue."

Tony sighed, feeling himself calm down from Steve's voice. The blonde has a nice voice. So soothing and adorable when he's just Steve. So authoritive when he was Captain America. It turned Tony on really. Actually, anyone for that matter.

"Maybe."

"Now let's eat. I'm sure you're starving, right?"

"I thought he would have-"

Tony held up a hand, interrupting Kieyana. "Don't say it."

* * *

After breakfast, the team decided on to past their time playing a game, by Kieyana's orders. It was best to listen to her since she was possessing an agent of theirs and Nick would have their heads if any harm came to him. That and they wouldn't have to chase her around.

"So we're going to play a little game. It's like Truth or Dare, but differently."

The goddess made a neat stacked pile of cards appear on the middle of the table. "Each person will take a turn and pull a card. On the card will be either a question or a task you must answer or do. And you can't pass them! And read them aloud so people can hear you."

"How did you come up with this game?", Vision asked. "I saw a bunch of teenagers playing one time. Anyways, since you asked, you go first.", Kieyana ordered, pointing at the ex-AI. Vision just shrugged, not really frazzled by her, and pulled a card. He looked at what was written and his eyes widened. "Who in the world... why would...?"

"Read it, Vis!", Wanda demanded. Vision sighed. "If you could want your significant other to do what you want them to do in the bedroom, what would you want them to do?"

Surprisingly, Wanda smirked while everyone else gawled at the question. She scooted closer to her boyfriend and nuzzled his cheek. "So what would it be, love?", she asked sweetly. Though the question was intended for another, Kieyana had to giggle. If Vision wasn't as red as he was, he would have blushed.

Sam leaned forward. "Yeah, what would you want Wanda to do?"

"Uh... honestly, I don't know. We never went beyond _that_ point."

"Cute. Real cute. Hey, I can just answer that! I'll do it!", Bucky volunteered. Sam jumped him, covering his mouth. "No you will not!"

"It's Vision's question. And since he already answered, next person.", Tony said. Kieyana nodded. "Yup. Well, Pietro, your turn."

The blue clad twin picked up a card and read it. A smile formed on his face. "Kiss the person you adore the most." Clint gawked at the task. "No way!"

Pietro scooted closer to the archer. Clint growled, turning from him. No matter how cute... scratch that... no matter how _sexy_ the younger male was he wasn't going to give in. "Back off.", he hissed. The lighter blonde nuzzled him. "No. You read what the card said and you know the rules. Now turn this way."

"Shouldn't you kiss Wanda? I mean she's your family. You could just kiss her cheek or forehead."

"But I adore _you_ , my little hawk. You're perfect for me in every way." The group awed at Pietro's words while Clint blushed. He really wished he could just shrink down and hide like a certain ant themed hero. He never handled affection so well. "Pietro...", he whined as the speedster pulled him closer. Steve pretended to wipe away a tear. "Aaaawww. It's just so cute. Clint, just let him kiss you. Just one kiss."

"Well, I think you should take your own advice, Steve. I know Pietro's hot and ready for me, but you're clueless that someone is for you. Trust me, he's totally ready and I know you feel the same."

Steve gawked, blushing from both embarrassment and slight anger. "Did... did you just call me out?!"

"Yes. I. Did. What are you going to do about it?"

"You're so dead!"

"Hey, no! No killing teammates today! Pietro, calm him down!", Natasha ordered. Pietro grinned. "Gladly." He took hold of Clint's chin, forcing the archer to look his way. Clint couldn't utter a word before he was kissed gently on the lips. Despite his earlier protests, he gave in. Pietro held him close, making him feel secure. Even though it last for a minute or so, it was still a good kiss. Clint had shied away, clearing his throat.

His Bird Bro scooted closer and poked his cheek. "That was adorable. You know it should be official now."

Clint glanced at him and then Pietro. "It is. I'm just... weird that way."

"That was our first kiss. In the middle of a cabin on a mission!", Pietro cheered, kissing Clint again. Rhodes sighed. "Well, that's going on. Let's continue. Thor, it's your turn."

Said god picked up a card and read it aloud. "If you were to choose only one of your teammates to meet your parents who would it be? Hmmm."

"A teammate to meet Odin and Frigga? Thor, you should choose me.",Tony said. Thor shook his head. "I must decline, Anthony. For I had chosen my companion to meet my family."

"Then who?"

"Bruce, of course."

Hearing his name, Bruce looked up from the book he was reading. "What about me?"

"Bruce, did you hear anything?", Bucky asked. He shook his head. "Sorry. I didn't. So what's up?"

"Thor had chosen to take you to meet his parents.", Kieyana smirked. She knew now who Thor had his sights on.

* * *

It's been two hours since the game had started. It was getting rather intense now. Pietro and Clint had shared so many kisses that the team thought they were already married in secret with kids. Natasha had actually cried while Rhodey wore makeup while wearing Wanda's clothes.

It was getting crazy and Kieyana was enjoying it. The game was practically almost over now. There was only one card left and it was left for Steve. At the moment, the blonde was wearing an Iron Man themed sweatshirt that was actually baggy on him and went down to his knees. Everyone knew a certain goddess had something to do with it.

Beside him, Tony was shirtless, wearing just his jeans that hung a bit low on his waist. No one could actually object to it since it was the game's rules. That and Tony wasn't bad to look at. Even Bucky and Nat thought he was kinda hot. Though he was annoying as hell.

"Look, last card and Steve, it's your turn, honey bunny.", Kieyana cooed. She loved seeing Tony fuming at her nickname for the blonde. Steve had shifted a bit in his seat, feeling Kieyana's clawed hands on his revealed shoulders. "Okay. Okay. Stop touching me, please?"

It was awkward having your possessed chaperone touch you so... seductively. Only one person shall touch him like that. No names, but cough cough Tony Stark cough cough.

Kieyana stepped back, smirking.

She watched as Steve lifted the card and read it. His eyes widened. "WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THIS?!"

"What? What does it say?", Bucky asked.

Steve gulped. "It's... I can't answer this."

"You have to read it aloud, man.", Natasha reminded. Steve exhaled, trying to calm down.

"If... oh goodness. If you were to have someone's babies from your team, who would it be... and why?"

"Snap. You have the 'why' part! Damn your luck!", Rhodey teased. "At least I'm not wearing girl clothes and makeup."

"Bastard."

"Steve, answer the question. I'm curious.", Clint said.

The taller blonde sighed, knowing he couldn't get out of it. He might as well. "Well... if I was to... have... someone's babies... it would... be... it would be Tony." The said brunet slowly turned to the captain, eyes wide. "Say what?"

"I would have your babies, Tony. I mean everyone else on the team feel like family, but you... You're special to me. I like you... a lot. You're smart, funny, and even if you could be an insufferable jerk sometimes, you're also selfless and generous. You're sweet when you want to be and you're undeniably se- handsome."

Steve quickly covered his mouth, blushing all over his face. Everyone stared at him, grins on their faces. Tony, on the other hand, was gasping in shock at what he just heard. For once, he didn't have a witty comment. Just a simple, "Is that what you really think about me, Steve?"

The blonde nodded, not sure if he could speak again.

Afraid to really.

Tony stared at him for a good minute before turning to Kieyana. "Really?! Mouth control on my Steve this time?! What is wrong with you?!"

Kieyana shrugged. "He told the truth though. Didn't you, Stevie?"

Said captain whimpered, pulling at his sweatshirt. Tony noticed how uneasy he looked, admitting to himself how cute the other looked. Especially in that sweatshirt.

Rhodey went over and patted his shoulder. "It's alright, Steve. Tony feels the same way. He legit just called you his. Besides, once you're pregnant with his kid he's bound to take great care of you. I mean you already have Peter."

"James Rhodes!", Tony scowled.

Rhodey shrugged. "Just saying." Steve blinked. "What does Peter have to do with me and Tony?"

"The point is, Steve, you and Tony have to go talk now. Go now! Up to your room! Now!", Natasha ordered, turning away from the subject known as Peter. The two didn't move from their spots. No way they wanted to go through this. The redhead growled. "Wanda." The said younger female's eyes glowed red. Seconds later, Tony was leading Steve up to their bedroom, holding him by the small of his back. When they were gone, Kieyana grinned. "Thank me later."

"Not yet. They have to screw first."

* * *

Honestly, by nightfall, you thought they did screw. But... no. When Tony and Steve got up to their room, both sat on their beds, sitting in silence and thinking about what to say to the other... FOR HOURS! Steve was clutching a pillow to his chest, sighing every now and then. It was until the clock above his bed ticked to the next minute did he speak.

"Tony?"

Said man turned, spotting Steve's blue gaze on him.

"Yeah?"

"Is... is it true? Do you really like me?"

Tony stiffened at the question. Despite what came out of Steve's mouth earlier, he was afraid of rejection. Well... not really, but this was... nerve wrecking.

"Um..."

"I get it if you don't feel the same way. It's just... I do like you. More than like you really. Honestly, I have no idea how long I left this way." Steve stopped for a minute to bury his face in his hands. "I couldn't stop it. I mean you're always teasing and flirting with me! I blame you for this!"

Tony smirked. He no longer felt insecure to tell Steve now. Or show him.

He took a seat next to the blonde and wrapped his arms around his waist. Steve looked up at him and blinked. "Uh... Tony?"

"Steve, there is a legit reason why I've been teasing and flirting with you. This is why."

Steve wasn't expecting the pair of surprisingly soft lips pressing against his own.

* * *

"You think they're sexing it up in there?"

"Clint, that question was highly inappropriate."

"Vision, it isn't for this situation."

The group was now sitting on the staircase, listening to the noises in the targeted bedroom. Nothing sounded too sexual. There was small talk and kisses. And ruffling of someone's bed sheet. "Ooh! Sex time!", Pietro squealed.

They waited for a moan, groan, anything, but nothing came.

Just... silence.

They all glanced at each other, wondering if the other knew what was happening. "Uh..."

"Maybe they're having quiet sex?", Natasha asked. Bucky shook his head. "Nah. I think Steve might be a screamer."

"Or a pillow biter.", Sam suggested. Kieyana sighed. "Nope. I don't smell anything. But from what I hear, they're just cuddling."

"You can _hear_ cuddling?", Bruce asked amazed. The goddess nodded. "I'm a goddess and an animal. Double bonus! Anyways, a deal's a deal." She stood up, her (Well, Rene's...) body begun to glow a fire red. Orange wisps surrounded her once again. The team stepped back as the goddess became engulfed by her own magic. Seconds had passed before she was shown again in her usual body. Beside her was their young chaperone. Rene was very dizzy on his feet. He was away from his body from too long. "Hey... um... what's going on?", he asked.

His hazel eyes then snapped towards Kieyana in hatred. "YOU! YOU POSSESSED ME! YOU FUC-"

Natasha quickly covered his mouth. "Rene, you might want to calm down before you wake up our lovebirds."

Rene blinked. He was about to ask what was going on again, but Tony had stepped out the room. He looked rather pissed off. "Hey, can you all please shut the hell up and move your asses somewhere else? We're trying to sleep here and whether you're aware, we know you're eavesdropping. Steve has good hearing, damn it."

The genius went back into the room, slamming the door shut. Everyone blinked, surprised but amused at what just happened.

"Well... at least they're together now."

* * *

 **Woo! It took forever to finish this chapter. And you're going to be very excited about the next!**

 **(1) By the time I got to writing this part 'CA3: Civil War' came into threaters. And boy was I ever so fangirl-y that day. I had took an exam the day before and lifted my spirits.**

 **(2) This line actually came from one of my favorite abridged series called 'CodeMent'. Some of you may have heard of it. Lelouch says, "Bears live in caves. And bears are crazy." I forgot the episode, but when I find it I'll tell you.**

 **(3) Yes, it is Christina Aguilera's song 'Your Body', but the male version. I was listening to it the time I got here. Really, all I thought about my Stony feels.**

 **Review!**


	11. Superfamily News

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 ***Sighs in sadness* As much as I want to... I don't own the Avengers! *cries***

 **Notes: So Stony shippers, I hoped you enjoyed last chapter. This chapter continues off from last chapter. Also... *drumrolls* a certain Merc with a mouth shows up with a certain spider boy we all love.**

 **Warnings: Pretty much the same warnings from previous chapters.**

* * *

Chapter 11 - Superfamily News

The team had eventually returned from their 'capture the mystery creature' mission after two additional days. Their captive, Kieyana the fox goddess of fun and love, was currently tied up with some metallic rope with Thor leading her into the building. She groaned in displeasure. "I don't see why you have to do this. I did you all a favor by getting those two together!", she protested, swishing one of her nine tails in Tony and Steve's direction. The two had gotten together during the mission, finally resolving their fawning over each other.

At the moment, they were standing close, Tony with his hand on the small of Steve's back. "And I thank you for that, you fox minx. Though I would have landed my sweetheart myself."

"Yeah right, Stark.", Clint scoffed.

Tony glared at him. "Don't think you should be talking, little hawky."

"Only Pietro can call me that!"

Everyone stopped in their tracks to stare at the archer. Clint blushed, coughing in his fist to hide his embarrassment. "Um... I mean..."

Pietro sped to his side, taking the older by the waist and kissing his cheek. "I knew you liked the name."

Clint just blushed.

The others chuckled before continuing inside the building. Nick Fury was standing by the meeting room entrance when they noticed him. "Hey, I see you all are back."

"Yup! And we brought the trouble maker.", Tony smirked, pushing Kieyana forward. She growled at him, who in return growled back. Thor stepped in between them. "Cease this banter now. Brother Tony, there mustn't be any quarrel with the goddess."

Tony crossed his arms as Kieyana grinned. "Hm."

She received the finger. Steve gasped. "Tony! Kieyana may be a trouble maker, but she is still a lady!"

"She is no lady, Steve. For Pete's sake, she possessed a male body!"

Fury eyed the team at that statement. "What? Who?"

"Rene. She took over Rene's body.", Natasha said. When Fury looked her way Kieyana shrugged. "It had to be done."

Rene scoffed. "It wasn't necessary though. I still feel so violated." He shivered, emphasizing his discomfort. Pietro laughed. Wanda resisted the laugh, seeing how Rene's hazel eyes were burning with hatred.

* * *

After an hour of the debriefing of their mission, the dysfunctional group of heroic lunatics had returned to their Tower. Tony immediately ran to the nearest electronic device, which was a StarkPad that was laying on the sofa, and kissed it. "How I missed you!"

Steve chuckled at his new boyfriend. "Tony, we weren't gone for that long."

"Yeah, well, I still love my technology."

"More than Steve, Tony?", Rhodey asked. Tony shook his head. He got up from the couch and walked over to Steve. He placed his arms around the blonde and kissed him. "Nah. I don't think I'll love anything more than Steve."

"Finally!"

The group turned to see Pepper standing at the entrance, a relieved expression on her face. She sighed, trotting over to the new couple of kissing them both on the cheek. "You finally hooked up! I think we were all about to die from the suffocation of your sexual tension."

"It wasn't sexual! It was... mere affection.", Steve protested timidly. Pepper patted his shoulder. "You're too adorable. I can see why Tony fell in love with you." The blonde shifted on his feet, trying not to blush. It was kind of impossible. The brunet grabbed onto his hand. "Pepper, stop harrassing my future baby mama."

At that Bruce had immediately begun to laugh. After a few minutes, everyone else joined. Clint was practically drilling body sized markings on the floor. Natasha was in a corner, trying to breathe, but it was hard to do with the laughter in her system.

Steve blinked, confused at what just progress. The only person who shared his puzzlement was Thor. Even Vision was laughing! "I don't understand the enjoyment of the sudden laughter.", the thunder god voiced.

Rhodey exhaled sharply, calming himself down. "Okay. There is two things Tony said that was wrong."

Said Stark crossed his arms, glaring at his best friend. "What would those things be?"

"One, Steve is a man."

"That I am.", Steve agreed.

Tony grinned. He reached out and made grabby hands to Steve's chest. "These tell me otherwise."

Steve blushed, stepping back from his pervy boyfriend. "Tony!"

"Two, you already have Peter. So how can he be your future 'baby mama' when he already is?", Rhodey continued. Thor was still confused. "What is this 'baby mama'?"

"Oh, forgot. Not of Earth.", Clint reminded. "Thor, a 'baby mama' is someone who is the biological mother of your baby when you're not married. Well, you can still be married."

"It's someone who is your baby's mother. A 'baby daddy' is the father of the baby.", Natasha added. Tears were running down her eyes. She looked over to see Steve trying to pry himself from Tony's arms. The brunet was kissing his neck, nimbling on it now and then.

Pepper was recording it. "This is going on my blog."

"No, it's not, Miss Virginia Pepper Potts.", Steve growled in his Cap voice. Pepper stared at him wide-eyed. She slowly put her phone away. Wanda copied her.

"Sorry."

"You better. And why does Peter keeps coming up in a conversation?"

Everyone shared looks before looking back at their leader. Tony sighed. "Well, Stevie, I figured it out, and I know you haven't. Apparently, the team believes that Peter is our love child."

Steve blinked. He looked at the others and blinked again. "Uh... how?"

Tony shrugged. "Well, that's a question for them."

Bucky crossed his arms.

"No. It is not, Stark. Besides, Peter would agree. He sees you two as his parents anyways. And as I see it, you two should tell him about your hook-up."

"Tell who about what hook-up?"

Everyone jumped back in shock. They looked up and saw that the subject of their conversation hanging upside from the ceiling with his web. Peter smiled his genuine smile at them. "Hey, guys!"

"PETER!"

Steve ran up to the teen and grabbed him. The web slinger was forced into a welcoming hug by a now over-emotional blonde. Peter hugged back. "It's good to see you, too, Steve."

"I missed you, Peter!"

"We all did.", Sam added as Bucky wrapped an arm around his waist.

"I know. I missed you all, too."

"Welcome back, Peter!", Tony greeted, messing up Peter's chocolate locks. Peter groaned from it. "Tony, don't do that!"

"It's affection, boy! Accept it!"

"Peter, how long you've been in the Tower?", Wanda asked. Peter sat down on the couch. Tony and Steve sat next to him on each side. "Well, a little over twenty minutes. Friday let me in. She mentioned how Tony allows it. I was in my room for most of the time, adding some things in. I legit just came in here when I heard about a hook-up. Care to fill me in?"

The new couple exchanged glances. They then glimpsed at the young hero with matching stares of hope. "Well, Peter... Tony and I have something to tell you.", Steve started. Tony nodded. "Yes. Even though someone isn't patient enough to allow us to. He's just upset because a certain _ex_ -playboy snagged his younger _virgin_ brother."

Bucky glared at Tony for that statement. He drew a metal finger across his neck. "Soon, Stark. _Soon_."

"Uh huh, yeah. Anyways, Petey. Steve and I have decided on something. It took a while for us to finally realize what we were both missing due to the meddling of a certain boy band and a fox goddess."

"And what's that?", Peter questioned. He watched as Steve got up from his right side and walked over to Tony's side. The brunet genius grabbed the other's hand and kissed it lovingly. "Steve and I are dating now."

Silence.

"..."

Peter stared at the two with astonishment. Slowly, his lips formed into a bright grin. "YOU TWO ARE DATING!", he shouted, glomping the couple. Friday was recording everything. Peter hugged the two around the neck, keeping in mind to be careful with his strength. "Oh my god! I'm so happy for you two! You know how long I hoped for this?!"

"Long time apparently.", Bruce teased. Steve shot him a look. "Quiet, mister. So, Peter, you're okay with this?"

"Of course I am! Captain America and Iron Man dating?! My idols?! My heroes?! This is too awesome for words!"

"I'm glad to see you so joyous about this, Peter.", Tony grinned. He lifted the younger brunet and placed him on the sofa. "Anyways, what brought you over to the Tower?"

Peter blushed a little. "Well, you're not the only one with good news."

He exhaled softly and then looked up at everyone. "Fury not only appointed me as an Avenger, but... guess who is now a proud new parent?"

Tony's breath sucked in at the question. "No way. May accepted?!"

Peter nodded happily. "Yes! She got the papers the day I came home. She thought it would be awesome to be part of the Avenger family."

"And it is! So, you're like Tony's son now?", Pepper asked. "Because even though I just legit somewhat met the kid I can tell he could be your kid. He's adorable!" Natasha nodded, agreeing with the other woman. "Yeah. Well, Tony and Steve's son."

"Yay!", Steve cheered, hugging Peter once again. He was already being _that_ kind of parent. The young brunet struggled out his grip. Bucky tapped Steve's shoulder. "Uh... Peter may want to breathe."

"Oh."

The blonde soldier released the teen. Once he was collected, Peter spoke again. "And there's something other good news."

"What else could there be good news?", Tony joked. Peter blushed. "Well... I have a boyfriend."

Silence... again.

"... boyfriend?", Sam questioned. Peter nodded. He glanced over to Tony and Steve. He noticed they had _that look_ in their eyes. "Oh god... Tony, Steve, let me explain before you go all protective on me."

Steve crossed his arms. "He better be treating you right.", he sternly responded. Peter chuckled nervously. "He is. He's a good person at heart, funny, and sweet. He cares for me a lot."

"He better! Now who is he?"

"Well, he's-"

"Babe, I think I damaged the microwave trying to heat up chimichungas. It's way too advanced."

The group spotted a red 'n' black clad figure walking into the room, scratching the back of his head while holding a pack of chimichungas. He stopped in his tracks when he saw them. "Uh..."

"DEADPOOL?!"

"Shit!"

* * *

A few minutes later, the den was practically destroyed. The group watched as Natasha, Steve and Tony continuously attack Deadpool, who was dodging them gracefully and shooting at them. Peter was desperately pleading for them to stop. "Please! Come on! Don't- TONY! DO NOT SHOOT THAT ROCKET IN HERE!"

The others found it quite entertaining.

"Five bucks if Nat shoots Wilson in the head.", Clint betted.

At that Peter glared at him. "No! No betting!" He then turned around and shot webs at the four fighting. Steve and Tony were stuck to the wall, Natasha was tied up, attached to the shot up sofa and Wade was stuck to the floor. Peter jump on the coffee table, which surprisingly wasn't damaged. "Listen! Each of you are being ridiculous! Can I please explain something before you all kill each other?!"

"He can't die! He has a healing factor!", Tony harshly reminded. Deadpool chuckled. "Right. But I can die. It's just very hard for me to."

"Shut up!", the spider themed hero ordered. He glared at the three Avengers. "Mind telling me why you just attacked him?"

"He stole one of my jets!", Tony exclaimed. (1)

"He brutally fought me, tied me up, threatened to shoot me in the head, hit me with my own shield and kidnapped three innocent kids!", Steve added in. (2)

Deadpool huffed. "One, you punched me first! Two, I had to tied you and the other Steve Rogers up! Three, I was going to shoot the other fucking guy! Four, I didn't know I had fucking good aim! And five, I only kidnapped _one_ of those damn kids! The Evil Me kidnapped the other two! And you were there to witness that! Jerk!"

"I hate you!"

"Aunt Nat, why are you trying to kill him?", Peter asked.

Natasha shrugged. "I just don't like him."

"You're just sore that we use to date.", Deadpool teased. (3)

The redhead glared at him. If Deadpool didn't have a healing factor that was awesome and looks could kill he would be dead.

Peter sighed. "Guys, can we just be civil about this?"

"Peter, please tell me you're not dating him.", Tony sighed. Peter looked at the mercenary and back at his adopted father. "I am. Wade and I are dating. For about five months now, going on six next week."

"Almost half a year. I'm amazed.", Bucky whistled.

Peter walked over to Steve and Tony, ripping off the web from them. The couple landed on their feet. "Peter, do you really like him?", Steve asked just as the teen helped his proclaimed aunt out before going to his boyfriend.

Once the older red clad male was free, he grabbed the younger by the waist and swung him around. In response, Peter nuzzled him. "I do. I love him actually."

"And I love you, too, baby boy."

Peter kissed the older's masked nose before sliding his fingers under the mask. He pushed it up until Wade's mouth was uncovered before kissing him. Wanda, Pepper and even Bruce cooed at the couple. It was undeniably cute.

"Believe or not, Petey here was the only and first one I ever came across that didn't try to kill me, judge me, or throw me away. He was willing to be my friend. He even bust me out of jail!" (4)

"That was you?", Steve questioned.

"The point is, I just saw that Wade needed somebody. Sure we had out bit of sore moments, but that was before we fell in love. And though he denies it, he's _my_ hero.", Peter admitted. Bruce wiped away a tear while Sam turned to cry in his boyfriend's shoulder. "It's just adorable! Steve! Tony! You have to let Peter date him!", Clint protested. Really, the archer was cool with Deadpool.

The mentioned hero couple exchanged glances before looking back at Peter's puppy dog eyes. The blonde smiled. He could see that the two were really in love. Just like him and Tony. "Alright, Peter. We're fine with you dating him."

"Yay!"

Peter hugged his boyfriend, nuzzling in his chest. Deadpool kissed the top of his head. "Ah, thanks, Cap. Aren't you sweet?"

"He is. Trust me.", Tony teased, making his sweetheart blushed. "Tony! Can you not say that?"

"I only tasted you through your mouth, baby. Now if we can go to the bedroom and-"

"Tony!"

"Uh yeah. Tony, can you not speak about Steve like that?", Bruce asked. Thor nodded. "Yes. Your language is as vulgar as Loki's when he's not himself."

"Great! Another thing we share! Speaking of the little green bastard, where is he?"

"Asgard, visiting our friends and parents. And refrain from insulting my brother."

"Wait, Loki's your brother?", Deadpool asked.

"Well, adopted.", Thor answered.

Deadpool shrugged. "Hm. Cool. Anyways, Petey-baby, let's head to the room and cuddle."

Peter smiled at that and began to lead his older boyfriend out the room. As the two left, Tony called after them, "And that's all you better be doing! I mean it!"

"Wow, Tony. It's only been over an hour when you found out that Peter is now your adopted son and already you're being a protective father.", Sam teased. Tony crossed his arms. "Yeah, yeah. I already been like that when I first met the kid personally. I saw myself in him."

Silence.

"And yes, I saw a little of Steve in him, too. The kid has innocence written all over him just like my baby here.", Tony added, kissing Steve's cheek. Rhodey smirked. "You know what else they have in common?"

"What?", the others asked.

"They're dating perverts."

"Hey! I heard that!", Deadpool's voice answered. It was followed by a giggle. "Don't laugh at that, baby boy!"

"Sorry, Wade. But Uncle Rhodes got a point."

"You're lucky I love you."

"I bet I am."

"Are you two in the vents?", Clint asked, walking up to one of them. The vent opened, revealing the couple. "Yeah. Wade wanted to see what was so awesome about you going into vents.", Peter admitted. "And boy is it really cool up here!", the Merc with the Mouth grinned. "We should make this our honeymoon spot, babe."

"NO! THAT'S CLAIMED BY US!", Pietro protested.

They watched as quicksilver rushed up the wall and climb into the vents after the two. Everyone blinked, standing there in silence at what happen. Tony exhaled, grabbing Steve's hand. "Come on. Let's go make sure our son's not killed by a crazy fast psycho."

* * *

 **And the Superfamily has been formed! With Spideypool!**

 **Don't worry, there's more of those two in the future.**

 **(1) Another reference to the 'Ultimate Spider-Man' cartoon! In the episode when Deadpool works with Spider-Man, he and Spidey were in one of these jets. Peter wondered where he got it and Deadpool said it was a gift from Tony. It made me laugh at the scene they did when Tony is just standing there dumbfounded at one of the missing jets. Even funnier how Peter says, "He never gave me a jet."**

 **(2) The first three things Steve says comes from the Deadpool comic 'I Rule, You Suck'. The next two things are from 'Evil Deadpool'. And yes, Steve was in both those comics. Natasha was in 'I Rule, You Suck' with him, too.**

 **(3) I actually found out that DP and Black Widow use to date. I don't know if it's true, but it's kind of hilarious in hindsight because their movie actors, Scarlett J. and Ryan Reynolds use to date. What really shocked me that not only did Tony and Natasha had a little sex fling that leaked onto the internet, but at some point they were engaged. No wonder why they're shipped. It's canon!**

 **Anyways, review!**


	12. The Mother of All Birds! (Part 1)

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **I only own my OCs. That's it. That's sadly it.**

 **Notes: This idea was stuck in my head for a while and it wasn't until a recent review that got me to write it. This is also a two part story.**

 **Warnings: Um... same warnings, but with a bit of added Deadpool-ness, possessive!Pietro, body possession (again), mommy issues, super long chapter, etc.**

 **And when you see words like this:** _ **"Speaking"**_ **that is words being spoken in a different language.**

* * *

Chapter 12 - Mother of all Birds! (Part 1)

"You know, if you're trying to imitate me it's not working. I faced scarier. Though I admit that eye-patch of yours is quite sexy."

Fury stopped pacing in front of the fox goddess. He stared at her and back at Maria who shrugged in response. The two agents were in the interrogation room with Kieyana sitting at one end of the table. She sat in a sophisticated manner, legs and arms crossed with a grin on her face. One of her arms were handcuffed to the arm of the chair she was seated in. Back and forth her tails went behind her.

"Honestly, I meant no harm. I was just playing a little."

"Brainwashing people, possessing them, playing mind tricks and stealing their clothes isn't playing a little.", Fury sternly scowled. Kieyana sat back with a slight frown. "Phooey. You're no fun."

"I'm a SHIELD agent. The Director, as a matter of fact.", Fury reminded. Maria nodded. "He's right. Being the Director, he is _no_ fun."

"Hill."

"What? It's true? I can only imagine you in the bedroom."

"Hill!"

"Ooh! I want to see how you are in the bedroom!", Kieyana offered. Fury sighed and rubbed his temple. "Listen, we'll let you go. Just promise you'll tone down on your... mischief. If Loki can do it, you can."

Kieyana vanished out her chair and reappeared next to Fury. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "I know. Anyways, I better get going! See you, Mister Handsome! And you!"

Hill's eyes widened as the goddess pointed a clawed finger her way. "What?"

"I like you. You seem like a really cool girl. And make sure you tell that cute little agent of yours that I said hi!"

Kieyana flashed into a different place, this time to the door. "See you!"

Then she was gone. Fury sat down in one of the empty seats and exhaled. "I need a drunk."

Maria nodded. "As do I, sir. I should have joined Jadeson in on his vacation."

* * *

Moments later, Kieyana popped up into a tree. She looked around, her ears twitching when she heard a caw. "Hm. Sounds like dinner.", she cooed, grinning and showing her white fangs. She was craving bird. She ran after it, following it into the a darker area. Kieyana watched as the bird landed on a bush. Kieyana took notice that the bird was a hawk. But it wasn't a normal looking hawk.

Seriously... the freaking hawk had purple feathers with a rainbow shine on them. The bird was gorgeous really.

The fox goddess thought about, watching as the hawk turned to her. She smirked. "Hello, girl. I haven't seen you in a while.", she grinned. The hawk cawed again. Dark purple wisps swirled around her. The hawk's form was replaced by that of a woman.

She was a bit shorter than the usual tall Kieyana, but she was curvier with a larger bust. Her hair was a dark purple, cut straight and stopping to her waist and pulled back by a black band. Unlike Kieyana who had abnormal orange skin, this one had pale skin. She had sharp lavender eyes with dark purple rings in her pupils. Around her eyes was a dark purple masking markings. Her nails were sharp like Kieyana's, but dark purple. She wore a black sleeveless and strapless leotard with purple feathers on the back as if it was a tail. And maybe it was. To add, she also wore a cape with a hood, with feathers adorned at the collar with a onyx jewel pendant. She wore short black boots with feathers at the tip.

The purple and black clad woman smiled at the fox goddess. "It's been a while, Ki-Ki. Missed you! Where have you been?"

"Well, Rana, I had a little vacay out the forest. I meant these group of people who were on some mission to capture me because I was causing 'trouble'."

Rana sat down on a nearby boulder. "Told you to settle down on that. I get you're the fox goddess of fun..."

"AND LOVE!", Kieyana added in. She clapped happily. "I got a couple together! Apparently, Thor was with them on the mission."

"Thor? Thor was there? Did you-"

"Nope."

Rana stared at the orange clad goddess. She blinked and Kieyana blinked back.

"I didn't. He already has his sights set on another. And let me tell you, this one was adorable! They all were! Just so cute!"

"Oh?"

"Yes, dear bird friend of mine. As a matter of fact, why don't I just show you?"

* * *

Somewhere else!

"Wilson, seriously? Here?"

"What? What my baby wants, he gets. Right, Petey?"

"Wade, I didn't ask for..."

Wade pressed a finger to Peter's pink lips. The younger male blinked. "Hm?" Wade kissed his forehead and then rubbed his shoulder. "Honey, we're going to do this. Okay? Whether your dad thinks so or not."

"Wilson, I have my suit ready at all times."

"Oh! Something we share in common, Mr. Stark! I have my katanas and guns ready at all times, too!"

From the other side of the room, Steve sighed, setting down his paintbrush before walking over to the two fighting alpha males. Peter was standing there with his arms crossed as Tony and Wade butted heads. Literally. They were growling at each other.

"Tony, stop it. You're being ridiculous.", Steve said, placing both his hands on Tony's shoulders. Tony scoffed. "Me? Being ridiculous?! Steve, _he's_ the one being ridiculous! He has taco supplies on the coffee table! He should go into the kitchen!"

"What if I don't want to? Besides, Mr. Bite Me in Winter is in there and I rather not be in his space.", Wade admitted, flopping on the sofa. He wasn't wearing his suit or mask. Just in sweats and a tee. Yes, his scars were shown, but the Avengers paid no mind to them. Peter didn't seem to be bothered and neither were the others. So Wade felt comfortable.

"So, you decided to make tacos in the den?", Steve questioned with amusement. Peter shrugged. "Wade claims I did, but he wanted to. I'm just going along with it... and maybe I'm craving tacos."

"Craving? What are you? Pregnant?", Sam teased.

At that, Steve and Tony's eyes widened. "What?"

Peter blushed. "No! I'm not pregnant!"

"Yet. We haven't gone that far, but I would love to try to put a baby in you!", Wade cheered, hugging Peter around the waist and nuzzling his stomach. Peter just sighed as Tony growled again. "There will be no such thing! Peter's only 16!"

"Going 17 actually."

"Doesn't matter! Wade Wilson!"

"As if you haven't thought about putting a baby in Cap here!"

Steve blushed. He eyed Tony, clearing his throat. "I think we all should just... watch a movie or something?"

"Or be quiet.", Clint voiced from the other sofa. He was laying over Pietro's left leg, cuddled up to his chest with his legs propped up on the sofa. The speedster was leaning back against the sofa, holding Clint with his arm right against his body. With the other hand, he was rubbing circles on the lower part of Clint's left shoulder. Once in a while, Pietro would whisper something in his ear.

Natasha and Wanda had been watching them. Honestly, the couple was too cute at the moment. But they noticed something about them. Clint seem normal as usual, just more comfortable with Pietro. But Pietro? Something was up with him.

Wanda looked at her older female comrade. "Cute, isn't it?"

"Agree, totally agree."

Vision had took a seat next to his girlfriend and placed an arm around her waist. "What are you two doing?"

"HawkSilver watching.", Natasha answered. Vision looked at them and then said couple. Pietro had stayed still as Clint stretched and sat up, placing his feet onto the floor. The archer yawned as he stood up. "I'm going to go make a sandwich. Anybody else?"

"If you want the lettuce you might want to come back here for it, Birdy.", Wade sung, placing some sliced lettuce inside a taco shell. Clint chuckled and rubbed Wade's bald head. "I'll keep that in mind, Pooly."

Clint made his way to the kitchen and following him was Pietro. When the two were out of sight, Peter spoke up. "Is it me or was there a bit of tension in the room?"

"What ever do you mean, Peter?", Steve asked, back to his painting. Peter shrugged. Wade handed him a made taco. "It's just... those two are closer than I remembered. I think it's Pietro really."

"He's quite fond with Clint. I know.", Wanda added in.

There was a sudden alarm, alerting the rest of the team into the den. "Friday, what's up?", Tony asked.

 **"There's an uproar downtown near the City Hall. Appears to be... a flock of beings that are humanoid birds."**

Sam gawked. "What?! Humanoid birds?"

"Your type?", Bruce teased. Sam shook his head and grabbed onto Bucky. "No. I prefer men with metal arms and has a knack for guns. Know anybody?"

Bucky laughed and grabbed onto the younger man. "Right here, Falcon-baby."

"And we should be there. Come on, Avengers.", Steve ordered. "It's time to assemble."

* * *

"Caw caw!"

"I can't believe it! On a Saturday! This is my library day!" (1)

"Girl, just run! Fuck them books!"

"Argh! I hate you!"

As the two girls argued, a purple tinted bird like creature was sneaking up on them. When he was close the two turned and screamed, one of them dropping the books in her hands. He shrieked in their face and was just about to pounce when he was hit with a red blast.

The girls turned to see Scarlet Witch landing next to them. She gave them a stern look. "Run."

Without a word, they did. Spider-Man landed next to the red themed witch. "I swear I go to school with them. Captain Pops! Bird man coming at you!", he hollered. Cap turned in time to see a katana fly past him and penetrate into one of the bird men coming at him. "No one attacks my future pops-in-law!"

"Thanks, Deadpool!"

On top of a building, Kieyana watched as the team (Minus, Bruce who was at the Tower.) fought the bird men. Beside her, Rana was giggling and clapping her hands. "You're right, Ki-Ki. They are absolutely adorable. I see they are also quite the warriors. No wonder Thor's so partaken with them. And there he is!"

Thor had smashed his hammer against the chest of one of the creatures.

The bird goddess watched as Black Widow shot down a couple of her (Yes, Rana's.) bird men. She flipped over one and knocked him out with the butt of her gun. "Wonder who sent them."

"Same. I could be eating a sandwich right now."

Rana had stopped in her tracks when her lavender eyes caught sight of the team's archer. Hawkeye had shot three bird men down at the same time, getting an impressed whistle out of Deadpool and Iron Man. He ducked a punch and kicked the attacking bird man back before taking out a small dagger and stabbing him in the head with it. Another ran up behind him, but Hawkeye was quick enough to move to the side and stab an arrow in the creature. "Taking a few words out of Thor's book, this is child's play. Whoever sent them bird men is probably just testing us. They're not really attacking anyone and they are easy to defeat.", he voiced, shooting five more arrows that exploded. The shock wave from the arrows sent the bird men down. Each of them dropped and then evaporated.

The bird goddess grinned, keeping her eyes on Hawkeye. "Hm."

Kieyana looked her way and raised an eyebrow in thought. "Rana, what's on your mind?"

Rana pointed at Hawkeye. "He reminds me of... _him_."

Gasp! "No! You don't think...? Could it be?"

"It has to be. Maybe I should get a closer inspection."

* * *

"This all could be avoided if Sam and Clint just talked to them.", Tony taunted as he landed. Said men glared at him. "Just because we like birds doesn't mean we have the ability to.", Sam growled. (2)

Steve stepped up.

"Instead of teasing each other, we should figure out where they came from."

"No need."

The group turned to see dark purple wisps swirl up to them and on top of a car. Behind it was orange wisps that quickly turned into Kieyana. The purple wisps formed into the mysterious bird goddess, Rana. Rhodey sighed loudly and dramatically. "Kieyana, what the hell are you doing here?!"

Kieyana laughed, her tails swishing back and forth. "Oh, just hanging around. I brought a friend."

"Who is that?", Peter asked, still keeping his Spider-Man mask on.

"Well, that's Kieyana, fox goddess of fun and love. She's the one that got your parents together.", Wanda said. She looked back at her twin who had his arm wrapped around Clint's waist, keeping him close.

Deadpool chucked. "She's foxy!"

"Wilson!", Peter scowled, similar to Tony's tone earlier. The Merc shurgged. "Puns? Now, who is the bird chick?"

Silence.

"Puns."

Rana smiled innocently. Her tail feathers fluttered gently. "I am Rana, bird goddess of chaos and time."

"What? You're a _bird_ goddess?", Natasha asked, smirking over at Sam and Clint. Both exhaled sharply. "Back off, Natasha!"

"She has to be your long lost sister. Clint, you actually look related. Purple and black scheme, birds..."

"You could be right though.", Rana voiced. She flashed over to Clint and placed a hand on his cheek. Clint had blushed from the sudden contact and Pietro growled. He pulled Clint back behind him. "Can you not touch him?", he _demanded_. Rana's eyes flashed to black and back to lavender. "How dare you!"

"He's mine! Don't touch him!"

The two growled at each other, glaring death at each other. Steve turned to Kieyana. "What's going on, Kieyana?"

"Rana just wanted to reunite with her family."

"What?"

Rana stopped her growling match with Pietro and turned to the others. "Yes. This one here is my son."

Clint blinked and the others gasped, still in their tracks. Stunned, Wanda looked at Clint and then Rana. "What? How?"

"Well, he's the reincarnation of my son. He died many, many years ago in a war. And like you, he was quite talented with a bow and arrows.", Rana smiled, flashing to Clint's side and hugging him. Clint stiffened as she nuzzled him. He realized that though she was shorter than Kieyana, she was still taller than him. "Um... can you let me go?"

"Please. Or you'll end up on someone's chicken platter.", Pietro threatened. Wanda placed a hand on his shoulder. "Brother..."

"Let. Him. Go.", Pietro snarled, ignoring his twin. That shocked everyone. Usually, Pietro listened to his twin sister.

Rana had released Clint. She grinned at the speedster. "Oh? Aren't you quite the Alpha?"

Pietro stepped closer. "Yes. And I'm about to claim the title of goddess murderer."

"Um... what makes you think Clint's your reincarnated son?", Vision asked. Rana smiled at the mentioned archer. "I feel that bond with him. He looks exactly like him. He's an archer, he has that same personality, adorable, fondness of birds..."

"How'd you know that?", Sam asked. Rana pointed at Kieyana as if she was a child snitching on her sibling. "She told me."

Kieyana blushed at the stares she received. She chuckled nervously and shrugged. "What?"

Steve rubbed his temple. "Look, we should be heading back to the Tower. We're done here." Tony grabbed his hand and pulled him to him, kissing the blonde. "And you and I are going to start something new."

"Tony!"

"Peter, I think I know where you get your freak from!", Deadpool exclaimed. Peter sighed. "Wade, _you're_ the freak in this relationship." Deadpool blinked behind his mask and grinned. "Oh. Right. Right."

Pietro had grabbed Clint's hand and pulled him to his chest. Clint's thought was, 'Damn, did he grow another five inches? What the hell, kid?!'

Rana had pouted. "Hmm! I believe he should head home with me."

"NO! HE WILL NOT!"

Clint yelped as Pietro threw him over his shoulder and ran off with him.

The others quickly followed behind them, someone commenting how kinky Pietro probably is, and leaving the two goddesses. Kieyana turned to Rana, who was sitting on a car with a blank face. "So... what are you going to do?"

One look in Rana's lavender eyes and Kieyana got her answer. "Oh."

* * *

At the moment, only high pitched protests could be heard through the Tower halls. And giggles.

"Pietro Maximoff, I swear if you don't put me down this instant I will shoot you in _both_ your kneecaps and then make you a personal pin cushion!", Clint threaten, kicking his legs. Apparently, it had no effect because Pietro had quite a firm tight on him. He didn't seem bothered by the archer banging on his back.

The others watched in amusement. Bucky, Wade and Tony were getting some ideas about how they want their night to play out.

Clint was dumped on the sofa, bouncing a little once his ass hit it. He glared up at his younger boyfriend. "You fucking asshole! How the fuck dare you carry me like that! You got some bony ass fucking shoulders! My stomach hurts, you fucking bastard! Fuck you!"

Steve wanted to yell, "Language!"

He really did.

Pietro growled under his breath, his blue eyes darkening with unspoken anger and... was that lust?! Clint had quickly shut up, scooting back against the sofa. The group took a step back when they noticed the dark aura emitting from Pietro. Wanda winced. "Bad thoughts."

The speedster leaned down, trapping Clint against the sofa with each of his hands gripping the back of it on each side of Clint's head. The archer blushed at the close contact. "P-Pietro?" Instead of a verbal answer, he got a rather physical one. Pietro slammed his lips against his harshly. The kiss turned frisky in seconds. The younger wasted no time thrusting his tongue inside the other's mouth while pushing the other down and grabbing him by the hips. Clint was moaning helplessly, gripping onto Pietro's shirt in mercy.

Wanda and Natasha exchanged looks of mischief. Thor was just standing there like Rhodey and Vision was. Steve, Peter, and Sam were blushing in shock. And Tony, Wade and Bucky were formulating ideas, staring intensely at their respective others. And Bruce... well... being Bruce, he was ignoring it.

The kiss ended with Pietro nibbling on Clint's bottom lip before he pulled away. He grinned at the flushed look on the archer's face. And boy, did Clint want to smack it right off. "What has gotten into you?"

By now, Peter was being led out the room by Wade.

And Tony turned them right back around.

Pietro chuckled and gave Clint a quick, more innocent kiss. "Remember, my little hawk. No one is to take you away from me. You're mine and vice versa. I dare someone to touch, look at you, or even think about you in a matter I don't deem fit. They will regret it."

"Pietro, you're being irrational."

"I'll show you irrational."

Clint was picked up again, this time bridal style, and carried out the room. Silence and blinks followed after the couple. Until Peter spoke up. "I hope I don't smell or hear anything when I go that way."

"Why?", Bruce questioned.

"My senses are well heightened. Like really heightened. Right now, I can physically hear DUM-E in the lab sweeping up some broken glass Dad Tony left behind."

Tony thought about it. "Petey's right. I did leave some glass on the floor. Anyways, I think we should pull up some info on that goddess." He pulled up a laptop from the coffee table, opened it, and soon the sound of clacking keys were heard. In minutes, Tony got results. "Okay, let's see here. Rana, bird goddess. Yadda yadda. Of time and chaos. Yadda yadda. Purple feathers. Yadda yadda."

"Tony, what you're saying right now makes no fucking sense.", Rhodey said.

Tony sighed. "Alright. Says here that Rana is the bird goddess of time and chaos. Throughout historical records, she is described to be quite beautiful and clad in just purple and black and adorned in feathers. Her origin place is guessed to be in Ancient Europe. Like every god and goddess, she had an affair with a human and birthed a demigod. Her son was a prince, trained to be king and the general of his father's army."

"Really? So is there a picture of Rana? And his son?", Steve asked. Tony turned the laptop to the others. The screen displayed many drawings of Rana. Each depicted her in bird-like forms of purple and black. One picture had her sitting on a throne with a man dressed in a similar attire to her standing next to her. He seem to have that godlike aura. And much to their surprise he looked like...

"CLINTON!", Thor shouted. "Much shock!"

"The picture's not even photographed! Like what the hell?", Bucky exclaimed.

"Maybe... Clint really _is_ a reincarnation.", Sam said.

Wade then pulled out a gun, cocking it. "If that's the case, this gives me the chance to use my new gun." Peter shot web at Wade's hand. "No. No killing."

"Alright..."

"But Wilson has a point. We should keep our eye out for that goddess just in case she tries to take Clint away. Who knows what she has planned?", Natasha questioned, twirling one of her dagger in her nimble fingers.

* * *

It was around three in the morning when Peter stumbled out his room. He was adorned in one of Wade's sleeping shirts, a red and black long sleeve that was three sizes too big. It hung off his shoulders a bit and almost came to his knees. Under was blue shorts, but you couldn't see those. Te shirt was just that large.

Peter had woken up and tried to go back to sleep, but his stomach growled. So to avoid a war with his stomach, the spider powered teen was now on his way to the kitchen. "Damn, I want some tacos. Or maybe some cake. I wonder if we still have some cake.", he mumbled to himself.

Much to his surprise, someone was already there in the kitchen. Sitting at the table was Sam, dressed in grey sleeping sorts and a lighter grey shirt with a red star in the middle. The darker male was snacking on some cookies, probably Nat's. He looked up when he heard footsteps. "Hey, Peter. Got hungry, too?", he asked as the said brunet waltzed over to the fridge. "Yeah. My stomach is being a jerk. Ooh! Cake! Score!" Peter pulled out the sweet treat, got a slice and some milk to go with it. He took his seat next to the ex-soldier.

"So how long have you been up?"

"A little over twenty minutes. I just had this sudden urge for cookies."

"I get that.", Peter agreed, biting into the chocolate cake. Sam continued on with his cookies. Seconds later, the duo heard a patter of footsteps and soft vibrating from the vent. Steve had entered in the kitchen, adorned in silk pajama pants and a black large band shirt... probably Tony's. Clint had emerged from the vent, in an over-sized purple tee and black sleeping pants.

Both the blondes joined the other two at the table, Steve mumbling a bit.

Clint yawned a little before taking a cookie off Sam's plate. "Got hungry?"

Sam nodded, unable to talk from the cookie in his mouth. Steve looked at Peter. "Peter, why are you out of bed?"

"I woke up hungry, Pops. I'm a growing teenager."

"Hm. Understandable."

"Hey, I got a joke. Want to hear it?", Clint asked.

WHOOSH!

The four quickly jolted up, looking around quickly in surprise. "Anyone heard that?", Sam questioned. "Well, it's not my joke.", Clint responded. Peter gasped when he felt a cold breeze brush past him. He jumped in Steve's arms out of fright. "I-I-I-I just felt s-s-s-something.", he stuttered. Steve looked to where Peter was sitting a few seconds ago and noticed a black shadow outlined in purple. He pointed over. "There's... there's something in here with us."

"Fuck this."

Sam grabbed two kitchen knifes while Clint grabbed his fold-able bow and arrows from a hidden compartment. He noticed the looks he received. "What? I like to be prepared."

The shadow then moved closer, shaping itself into a shape of a bird. It moved again, vanishing out the kitchen. The four followed it out. "Friday, alert the oth- ah!" Steve was stopped short as sharp feather like daggers suddenly embedded in the floor in front of him. They looked up and saw Rana, wings flapping behind her with a grin on her face. "Surprise!"

"Rana! What the hell are you doing inside the Tower?!", Clint questioned, aiming his arrows right at her. The bird goddess tsk-ed. "Now, is that any way for you to speak to your mother, Cian?"

"That isn't my name and you are _not_ my fucking mother!"

"I'm getting some 'Coraline' vibes here.", Peter muttered.

Rana frowned at the archer, landing on her feet and her wings forming into her cape. "You're rather cruel, birdie."

Clint gasped when Rana appeared by his side, grabbing onto his arms. _**"It's time we reunite, my dear son. Come."**_ , she added in a language that no one understood, except for Clint. She suddenly formed into a large hawk, grabbing Clint by her talons and speeding right out the window. "NO! YOU BIRD BITCH! GIVE ME MY BROTHER BACK!", Sam ordered, flying out the window with his wings just as the others showed up. They saw Rana flying off with Clint, both now many yards away from the Tower with Sam following.

* * *

 **Cliffhanger! Which will be continued in the next chapter!**

 **I watching 'X-Men: First Class' when I noticed something. Me, being me, was reading the cast (Like to know my actors.) when something stood out to me. I had to make sure I wasn't crazy. So one of the actors that played a Storm Trooper was named Peter Stark. Yes! Peter flipping Stark!**

 **And something else I read was that Nightcrawler was the son of Mystique and Azazel. I'm going to be honest. I thought Nightcrawler was like Azazel's younger brother or cousin, not his freaking son! Let alone Mystique's son! I always wondered why Nighty's skin was blue, but he had those cute little devilish features. Got my answer. Got my freaking answer.**

 **Ooh! Forgot to mention, in the last chapter Deadpool mentions that Peter bust him out of jail. (Note number 4) True. In the Deadpool comic, 'Monkey Business' Spider-Man gets Deadpool out of jail. Cap mentions it in 'Evil Deadpool', commenting how Deadpool escaped from jail and not knowing that Peter helped him.**

 **(1) *sighs* I admit it, I go to the library on Saturdays. I have nothing else to do and I love books... and movies... and the free Wi-Fi, but that's besides the point!**

 **(2) Apparently, Sam did get the ability to communicate with birds in the comics! He had a pet falcon named Redwing that he could telepathically talk to.**

 **Review!**


	13. The Mother of all Birds! (Part 2)

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Just Kieyana, Rana and any other OCs that appear in this chapter and future chapters are mine.**

 **Notes: This is the second part to last chapter.**

 **Warnings: Nothing's changed.**

 **When you see words like this:** _ **"Speaking"**_ **that is words being spoken in a different language.**

* * *

 _[Previously on 'The Antics of the Avengers'!]_

 _"Rana! What the hell are you doing inside the Tower?!", Clint questioned, aiming his arrows right at her. The bird goddess tsked. "Now, is that any way for you to speak to your mother, Cian?"_

 _"That isn't my name and you are not my fucking mother!"_

 _"I'm getting some 'Coraline' vibes here.", Peter muttered._

 _Rana frowned at the archer, landing on her feet and her wings forming into her cape. "You're rather cruel, birdie."_

 _Clint gasped when Rana appeared by his side, grabbing onto his arms._ _ **"It's time we reunite, my dear son. Come."**_ _, she added in a language that no one understood, except for Clint. She suddenly formed into a large hawk, grabbing Clint by her talons and speeding right out the window. "NO! YOU BIRD BITCH! GIVE ME MY BROTHER BACK!", Sam ordered, flying out the window with his wings just as the others showed up. They saw Rana flying off with Clint, both now many yards away from the Tower with Sam following._

* * *

Chapter 13 - Mother of all Birds! (Part 2)

"What happened?"

At the moment, the remaining Avengers wandered about the living room, looking at the window Rana flew out of with Clint. Bucky was on a fritz knowing Sam followed them. Pietro was, too, freaking out.

He was imprinting the floor with burn marks from walking back and forth. You could clearly see the anger radiating off his face. His hawk was taken by some bird goddess that believes Clint was the reincarnation of her son! Of her ancient dead son! The nerve of the bitch!

"She has to be found now! How dare she take _my_ bird! How dare she!"

Wanda eyed her twin, watching him stop and shaking his head in disbelief. "I'm going to kill her."

"Pietro, she's a goddess.", Rhodey reminded.

Pietro scoffed. "Damn it, I could care less. She's going to _die_. Her and that fox! No one takes my hawk and even _think_ they can get away with it! We got to go now!"

"Uh... dude, I don't know if you haven't noticed, but we're not dressed properly."

Since it was now five in the morning, the team was still clad in their pajamas. Well... Thor, apparently, was sleeping nude, so he was just wearing boxers. Bruce was blushing uncontrollably from the glorious godly chest.

"Brother Rhodes is right. If we are to battle, we are to be adorned in the most proper battle clothing. Not our sleeping garments!"

"Thor, you were sleeping nude!", Tony accused. He then grinned in Steve's direction. "But there is a blonde I would love to see sleep nude."

Peter gagged. "Ew. Hearing that is worse than the time I freaked out the first time I discovered my spider powers." He then sighed. "I _destroyed_ an alarm clock." (1)

"That's why you hate alarm clocks.", Wade muttered.

"So what are we going to do about Clint and Sam?", Vision asked. Natasha suddenly got a deadly look in her eyes. "We're going to get them back."

Wanda jumped up. "Save the Bird Bros Mission 101!"

* * *

Clint yelped as he landed on a stoned ground, rolling onto it. He grunted, sitting up on his knees and hands. He looked up to see Rana turn back into her human form. She grinned at him, reaching her hand out to him. "Sorry about that, my dear birdie."

The archer glared at her, scooting back from her. "Yeah right. What is wrong with you?! What possessed you to kidnap me?!"

Rana pouted. She kneeled down next to him, using her cape to trap him in a hug. "I'm sorry, baby bird." Clint struggled to get out of her grip. "Uh..." Rana kissed the top of his head and nuzzled him. "Oh I'm just so glad to be united with by son again! I waited all these years for you!" She pulled the blonde up to his feet and led him inside a palace that Clint just noticed.

"I didn't see this."

"Protection spell, Cian. Your mother wants to make sure you're safe. No one is going to get my baby hawk!"

"My name isn't Cian. It's Clint! And I'm well equipped to protect myself!"

Rana placed her hands on her hips. Her lavender eyes squinted in a cold stare at the male. "Listen here. You're not going to take that tone with me any longer! You're here now! Adrian!"

Clint turned when he heard heavy footsteps behind him. There was a man, much taller than him, dressed in black and purple armor with feathers. He wasn't pale like Rana, but a tan with white hair. His eyes were black and sharp with authority. Behind him were two bird men that Clint recognize from the day before.

"Mistress Rana?", the now introduced Adrian replied. Rana took Clint's hand, smiling at him. "Can you take my son up to his room? Make sure he changes and meets me in the den in approximately an hour." Adrian nodded, getting down on one knee and placing a hand on his chest, the bird men copying him. "Yes, Mistress. Come, Lord Cian."

The archer whined childishly as Adrian led him upstairs. Rana smiled after them. She clapped her hands, sighing happily. "My son is with me again! My pride and joy!"

The bird goddess then heard a thud from outside the window. She ran to it and opened it. "Hm. Something must have-"

"Oooowwww. Hurtsssss."

Rana looked down and spotted Sam withering on the stone ground, his metal wings now folded. "Oh dear."

"When did stone and a fucking palace get here?!", Sam growled. He looked up and spotted Rana staring at him. "You!"

"Hm. You're one of my son's friends, aren't you?", she questioned with a bright gleam in her eye. She flew down to his level and helped Sam up to his feet. Sam was a little frazzled by that. He watched as she circled him. She stopped at his wings and stared at them in awe. "Wow. Metal made wings."

"Yeah...", Sam stretched out unsurely. He stepped back a bit, but Rana flashed to his side and touched his cheek. "Hm."

"Can you not touch me? Where's Clint?"

"He's upstairs changing. Come, my dear one."

Sam yelped as he was lifted up by Rana into the window. She led him upstairs, Sam still confused. "So, what is your relationship with my son?"

"I'm one of his closest friends. His Bird Bro actually."

"Oh? Like birds?"

"Love them. My favorite is the falcon. Which is my codename. Falcon."

"And my son?"

"Hawkeye. He got eyes like a hawk and he likes them. Anyways, what are you doing with him?"

Rana stopped in front of two double doors. She turned to Sam and smiled. "Keeping him, of course. He's my son, my little bird."

Sam frowned. "No. That can't happen. Clint has to come back! Natasha and Phil are going to flip and possibly kill a fleet of people. Pietro... Pietro..." Sam shook his head. "You're old enough to know about the French Revolution, right?"

The bird goddess nodded. "Of course."

"Well, imagine that, but ten times worse."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Still not giving him back."

It was sudden silence. The doors to the room finally opened, revealing Clint. He wasn't in his purple tee and black pants. Instead, he was now in a black long sleeve shirt and dress pants with matching boots. He stopped in his tracks seeing Sam. "Sam?"

"Hi, bro!", Sam smiled.

Clint jumped him suddenly, hugging the younger male around his waist and lifting him up a bit. Sam really wasn't _that_ heavy. Bucky would know.

"Sam, what are you doing here?! Did you follow me?!", the archer asked. Sam nodded. "Duh! Of course I did! You're my bro and you belong back with us! We're getting you out of here."

"No he isn't. And neither are you.", Rana voiced sternly, her eyes turning into a deadly black. The bird duo whimpered, stepping back from the goddess.

* * *

"So what you're telling me is that one of my best agents was kidnapped by some goddess who happens to be part bird or whatever who controls time and chaos? To top that off, one of my newest recruited agents followed them and now you don't know where they are?"

"Yes, sir. It wasn't our fault though! She popped out of nowhere, claiming Uncle Clint was her son but reincarnated! We tried to stop her, but she was throwing feather daggers like some ninja and turning into gigantic birds! Just snatching people! Just turning into birds! It's terrifying!", Peter aswered back.

Fury looked from him to the others before groaning and placing his head on the desk. "How long ago was this?"

"Five hours.", Natasha deadpanned.

"Hm. Well, I guess you better go save them."

"But we haven't got the slightest clue where the hell they could be!", Tony claimed. Wade tapped his chin in thought. "Hey, how about asking that fox goddess where the fuck the birds are?", he suggested.

From the corner of the office, Pietro was brodding in misery and anger. You could see rain clouds forming over him. "We have to find her first though, you fucking idiot!"

"Pietro Maximoff! You don't have to be so rude!", Wanda scowled before Steve could. Pietro scoffed, crossing his arms. "My hawk was kidnapped, damn it! I want him back! And if I don't get him back then all hell will fucking break loose!"

At that moment, the others officially knew that Pietro was one possessive Alpha. A crazy, bloodthirsty, possessive Alpha.

"Um... Pietro, can you calm down?", Bruce asked. Beside him, Bucky was biting his metal knuckles with Steve rubbing his back. The brunet was feeling uneasy not knowing where his boyfriend was. Sam was capable of protecting himself, but like Pietro was with Clint, Bucky was protective of him. He loved him and kind of felt guilty with trying to kill him before. And taking his steering wheel.

"Steve... I'm on the same train with Pietro. You already know how I am... someone's arms will go missing and they will never find them again. I want my Sammy back."

Steve gulped. He knew Bucky will go with that threat.

"T-Tony, you won't go like that if I go missing, right?", the blonde asked nervously. Tony smirked. "No, but just don't expect me to tell you who started the next World War."

Peter rather not know how Wade would act if he went missing. He wouldn't hold back killing a person. He would just do it the moment he finds out. Maybe more than kill someone, but also blow up a building.

"I think we should try to find Kieyana."

"Right. Like she will ever let us find her willingly. We need bait.", Rhodey voiced. Fury got up from his desk. "Well, good luck with that." He left.

The others sighed. "How do we trap a fox goddess?", Wanda questioned. Rhodey patted Thor's shoulder. "We could use Thor. She wanted to fuck him anyways."

"Language, Rhodes! Language!", Steve scowled, covering Peter's ears.

Thor shook his head. "I must decline. Besides, my sights are set on another."

"Well, who else would... oh! Rene!", Bruce exclaimed. "We should call Rene to help us out."

Everyone exchanged looks.

* * *

Phil didn't want to know why he was sent to do this. 'Supernanny' was on right now. Well... thank Odin he has cable.

"Agent Coulson, it's good to see you, sir."

He looked up to see Rene heading his way out of the fancy hotel. He had a suitcase rolling behind him with a bright smile on his lips. When he got close enough and hugged Phil, surprising the older agent. "Um... so I take it you enjoyed your vacation?"

Rene released him and nodded, following Phil into the black sleek car. "Yeah. Too bad it was cut short. Did Dr. Banner mention what he needed me for?"

"Afraid not, Jadeson. If I knew, I swear I would tell you. But apparently, Agent Barton and Agent Wilson, Sam, not Wade, is missing. I don't know what's the whole story to it though.", Phil answered, closing the door behind Rene. He got into the car, driving off from the hotel quickly.

* * *

Dark brown eyes darted back and forth, sometimes meeting bluish-green ones in both fright and anxiety. Lavender eyes watched both individuals with great caution. Like hell will these two escape.

Sam sighed, looking down at the cup of tea in his hands. He loved Clint, he was his bro, but right now he was highly regretting following him.

Clint was sitting beside him, cheeks flushed and eyes dull with boredom. He hated his life at the moment. Rana was looking between the two, thinking of her next plan of action. Really, she already knew that she was going to make Clint her heir. No arguments, no drawbacks, no doubts about it.

But Sam? Rana stared at him, eyes going up and down his body like before. Honestly, Rana found she could find use of him. Bonus, Sam likes birds. And she seen him fighting her bird men yesterday. Boy got moves. And he was adorable! Rana should take Sam under her wing... pun intended.

"So, Cian, how did you two become friends?", Rana asked, shifting on the sofa she was seated on. Clint and Sam exchanged looks before staring back at her. "Well... we bonded over our interests. Birds, fighting skills, boyfriends that happened to speak a language we don't understand. The usual.", Clint answered. Sam nodded, not liking the gleam in Rana's lavender eyes. "Oh? Birds are quite majestic and powerful animals. I would know. They're my specialty. And you mentioned favoring falcons, Samuel?", the bird goddess asked.

Sam's blush was actually noticeable. "Well, I like all birds really, but falcons are my favorite."

"Ah. Falcons are wonderful birds. All birds are wonderful birds."

"Yeah..."

Rana smiled sweetly, leaning forward to the younger individuals. "You know. It's going to take your friends a while for them to find where we are. If they ever do, that is. So why don't you two look around and get comfortable?"

"What?!", the Bird Bros questioned. Rana nodded. "Yup. And yes. I'm allowing you to wonder the halls which gives you a chance to escape. Bad news for you though is that you can't."

"What makes you so sure, Rana?", Clint sassed, setting the tea down and crossing his arms. Rana just smirked. It stayed quiet for a while since both men were waiting for an answer. Much to the disappointment of both, Rana didn't utter a word. The Bird Bros lost their posture and settled back against the sofa, eyes downcast. Rana stood up suddenly, catching their attention. "Go on. Go explore, my birdies. Have some fun in the training room or something.", she smiled with a tilt of her head and a flash of pearly fanged whites. When they didn't move, she grabbed them both by their arms and forced them out the room. She spoke in a language unfamiliar to most, but not for Clint.

 _ **"Don't think you're going to sit here all day. Explore your new home."**_

"What did you say?", Sam asked.

Rana chuckled. "I'm sorry. Hang on." She bent down a little and tapped Sam's forehead. The spot she touched began to glow an amethyst light. It disappeared in seconds and Sam found himself feeling normal. "Hm."

 _ **"Now you should be able to understand me. Cian, proceed."**_

Sam had blushed now realizing he could understand Rana, too.

"Um..."

Clint glanced his way. "I know. Unbelievable."

"What language is that?"

"I honestly don't know. Maybe some... ancient language? Maybe from a different planet or some place."

"I guess."

The two must have forgotten Rana's still existing presence. At the door, she was expressing the sudden igorance with a straight laced bland face that could have rivaled Bucky's. "Hey, you two go on now.", she suggested firmly. Both bird themed heroes quickly went about their way down the hall. When she was sure they were out hearing range, she snapped her fingers. At the gesture, a harsh blackish-violet spark appeared and formed into a small bird. It landed on her open palm and sat there in attention.

 _ **"Go keep an eye on them and make sure they don't try to escape."**_

The bird squawked in response and flew off in the direction Clint and Sam wondered into. Rana watched with a Cheshire Cat grin, a twinkle in her lavender eyes.

* * *

"So you want me to do what now?"

Everyone was watching the young agent cross his arms and glare. He got off his vacation for this? He was already hating this idea.

"We just need you to lure Kieyana. Simple.", Tony answered, not really feeling up to anything but cuddling Steve right now. Too bad Steve only wanted to get his best friend's boyfriend who is also his best friend back. Rene pouted. "Please tell me there is a very good reason why I have to lure that annoying, clingy fox goddess."

"Yes, there is. My and Bucky's birdies were kidnapped by this bird goddess by the name of Rana. Well, she kidnapped Clint and Sam followed... regardless, we must get them back.", Pietro growled. Rana stood there for a while, blinking. After a while, he shrugged. "Alright, I'll do it. But only because I do like Agent Barton and Agent S. Wilson."

Rene walked over to Bucky, who looked very uneasy around this point and hugged him. "Also, I happen to like Agent Barnes as well. So, for their sakes, I will do this. Now I'm going to need an electric collar, a taser, make-up and a fox cosplay outfit.", he listed as he begun walking towards the door. "Don't ask. Just do it.", the agent added, noticing the looks of puzzlement.

* * *

After hours of waiting, the team was eventually called back to SHIELD HQ with the earlier requested supplies. Vision had carried in the items and placed them down on the table in which Rene sat on. He had some book in his hands, too, but closed it the moment the others gathered around him.

He sighed, knowing what he was about to do was going to cause permanent embarrassment for the rest of his life. He blushed just thinking about it. But it was for the sake of two overly protective boyfriends' sanity, the safety of two bird themed heroes, and SHIELD. Rene ruffled his chocolate locks and jumped off the table. He turned to the team after grabbing the make-up and clothes. "Agent Hill will explain the plan to you."

The others now noticed Maria, Phil and Nick sitting at the end of the table, smiles on their faces. Which is scary.

"Um..."

"So, Agent Jadeson informed us three about the plan. It's going to involve great focus, agility and tolerance for shocks if we're going to catch Kieyana and find out where our missing agents are. Got it?", Maria voiced sternly.

"Understood. So, Stark, pay attention.", Clint added, Tony glaring at him for the comment.

Nonetheless, Maria went over the plan rather fluently without any interruption. Within the next few minutes, twenty at the most, Rene re-entered the room. Everyone got an eyeful of him and was rather stunned at his changed appearance. He wore a skin tight pair of pants and a cropped long sleeved shirt, both colored a pale orange. He wore matching furry boots and a set of _nine_ fox tails and a pair of ears colored red. His cheeks possessed three whisker like lines on each and around his almond shaped eyes was red and orange make-up with black eyeliner to make his eyes appear more fox-like. He even wore fake claws, fangs, and a pair of toxic gold contacts.

Rene stood there with crossed arms and an obliviously pissed scowl.

"Just be lucky I'm doing this because I'm a good, merciful person. Now let's get going before I attempt to choke someone out."

"More like merciless.", Wanda teased as the group headed out to one of the Quinjets.

"RDJ, I don't see why you're so upset. You're pretty adorable in that getup.", Rhodey commented as Tony whistled, nudging Steve while Wade added, "Foxy!"

"Don't call me adorable.", the younger male hissed, holding up the taser. Rhodey was wise to step back.

* * *

In honesty, Sam had no idea what was going on here. All he knew was that he and Clint were utterly bored. So bored, they never took notice to the small bird perched on one of the many hanging chandeliers. Yes, Clint's room was just that large.

The bird made sure to keep note to everything the two men did. From Sam sighing and then rolling on his stomach to scream into a pillow to Clint walking back and forth. The bird was too getting bored of just watching them.

 _'Please do something.'_ , it thought. _'Like now, damn it!'_

"I can't take this shit anymore!"

Clint had stopped pacing to glance at his Bird Bro who was fuming. Sam threw a pillow at the wall and stood up out the bed. "We're getting the fuck out of here. I can't take anymore staying in this hell hole of a fucking nest! We got to escape! Fuck what that bird bitch said!", he hissed, storming over to the window and opening it without fail. Clint was right behind him. "I agree. Now calm down and stop screaming before she hears us. Or one of her bird guys."

The bird above them flew off the chandelier and out the room. He flew to where the bird mistress was, finding her walking the halls with Adrian. It caught her attention and begun to squawk. Rana growled, her lavender eyes turning black. "I knew they would try it. Adrian, go get the guards!", she ordered before taking off down the hall. She barged into Clint's room, only to find he wasn't there along with Sam. The window was open as well. She ran to it and found Sam and Clint running into the forest.

Rana glared, a dark purple glow surrounding her.

"I lost you once, I'm not losing you again."

* * *

Faux golden eyes looked around the trees, hoping this would work. "I'm so not getting paid enough for this."

Rene sighed, sucking up his embarrassment before taking a seat on a fallen log and shouting. "Kieyana, where are you?!"

No more than two seconds later, an orange cloud appeared and formed into a tall, curvy fox-like woman. Kieyana smiled at Rene, admiring his little getup. "Hey, my little one! What have you summoned me for?" Rene had put on his best innocent face. His eyes got really big and his pink, pouty lips formed a smile that screamed 'love my cuteness'.

"I decided I want to come to you. You know, as your adoring son. Does that offer still stand?"

Kieyana's eyes sparkled in happiness. She rushed over to Rene and nuzzled him into her arms, rubbing her marked cheek into his hair. "Of course, my little fox!", she squealed. Unknowingly, Rene's innocent smile turned mischievous, his eyes narrowed. Swiftly, his arms went around Kieyana's neck and into a second flat it adorned a black collar. The fox goddess shouted in surprise, seeing the collar and tried tugging it off. It didn't. HOW?!

She glanced at Rene who was grinning like a villain while holding out a small black device. , "Alright, Kieyana. If you want the collar off you have to do everything I ask or else."

The taller scoffed, crossing her arms. "Or else what?"

"This."

Kieyana didn't expect the quick shock to hit her. It was horrifying and rendered her flat on her face. While she groaned in pain, Rene kneeled down to her side, still smirking. It would make Loki proud. "So want to cooperate, _Mother_?", he teased. Kieyana looked up at him, eyes resuming their sparkle with a small smile graced her lips. "Hm. You really tricked me and you are rather fiesty. I guess I should do as you say."

"Thank you. Guys, come on out."

From behind the trees and bushes, the others, including Phil, Maria and Nick, revealed themselves. Seeing Kieyana on the ground, a pout on her face, Tony smirked. "Wow. Good job, RDJ."

"No biggie. Now, Kieyana, we need you to lead us to Rana's place."

The fox huffed. "Why would you want to go there?"

"She stolen some peeps of ours.", Wanda answered. "We rather get them back before a war starts."

Kieyana looked to Pietro and Bucky, seeing the anger fueling in their eyes. She knew. "Oh. Had a feeling she was going to do it." She stood up, tails swishing behind her. "Well, I guess I should help. But not because you have me submitted to this strange device on my neck. I'm helping because I can see the love you two hold for your other halves. And as the goddess of love, and fun, I shall reunite your hearts.", she vowed to the two men. She then wrapped an arm around Rene before lifting him up onto her shoulders. "Also because my fox cub asked. Now follow me."

She took off quickly into the trees, Rene screaming at the sudden speed while the others followed.

* * *

Not too far away, Clint and Sam were running for their lives. Behind them was Adrian and about ten bird men. Rana was up high, not in her usual form either. Due to the rage and neglect she felt, she was a massive shadowy black bird with a dark deadly violet aura around her. She was hellbent on getting her chicks back.

Clint noticed her now edging closer before looking ahead and seeing a hill. He and Sam stumbled on it, rolling down it before continuing their running.

"I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS SHIT!", Sam gasped, rounding a corner with Clint following. "I KNOW! WE COULD BE HOME RIGHT NOW, CUDDLING OUR BOYFRIENDS AND WATCHING BAD MOVIES!"

 _ **"CIAN! SAM! GET BACK HERE NOW!"**_ , Rana demanded with a following shriek. Clint shouted as he was suddenly grabbed by one of the bird men. "Oh shit!"

Sam was grabbed, too. Both were being subdued to following back into the direction of Rana's palace. Said goddess came down, landing in front of the two. Her form remained that of her humanoid appearance, but her eyes and the aura around her was black. _**"How dare you escape from your home! How dare disobey me! I'm trying to be a good mother to you, Cian!"**_

"For the last time, my name is Clint and you're _not_ my mother! Sam and I are going back and you can't stop us!"

With that said, Clint and Sam twisted in each of their captors' arms. Clint practically climbed the guard to wrap his legs around his neck and forcing him into the ground. One blow to the head and the bird guy was out. Sam managed to knock out his as well with a swift kick.

Stunned, Rana barely had time to see Clint and Sam continue their escape. _**"GET THEM!"**_

* * *

"We're not that far away now. Just beyond this river should be her place. You know you're rather suicidal for coming to her. Rana is rather possessive when it comes to the people and things she loves and owns.", Kieyana voiced. Pietro scoffed. "As I am. She's more suicidal for taking what is mine."

"Pietro, Clint's a person.", Phil said.

The blue clad one glanced his way. "I know that. I'm just saying though."

"You've been kind of clingy lately. I wonder- GAH!"

Everyone looked back in surprise to see Steve had been knocked down by two figures. All three was groaning in pain. "Ow. Feels as if I've ran into a brick wall.", one commented, sitting up. It was revealed to be Clint, the other being Sam. They looked down and saw their American iconic friend, groaning in pain as well. "Ooh! Sorry, Steve!" Sam did a double take. "STEVE!"

The two hugged, both relieved to be united again. "Thank goodness we ran into you guys!"

"My hawky!"

Clint was suddenly lifted by his waist and twirled around. A firm kiss was planted on his head then lips. He knew who it was. "It's good to see you, too, Quickass."

Bucky had gotten Sam up from Steve, welcoming him a kiss as well. "Jeez, I missed you. I don't ever want you to pull a stunt like that again." The united couples embraced and kissed each others, momentarily forgetting the others and forgetting something else.

 _ **"HEY!"**_

At the sudden shout, the group turned to see Rana and her bird men. The bird goddess was now an all black figure with a wispy form with only two visible purple eyes. Everyone, minus Kieyana who seem use to this kind of thing, screamed. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!", Deadpool shouted, pointing his gun Rana's way. "THAT IS RANA, WILSON!", Clint shouted as Pietro shielded him. Rana hissed. "I want them back _now_!"

"You can't have them, chicken!", Bucky hissed back, pointing a gun at her.

Rene looked between the two groups and stepped forward. He held out his arms to signal them to not inch any closer. "Hold it! Now we can solve this rationally. We don't need any blood shed here."

"I beg to differ.", Pietro sassed, ready to snap Rana's neck.

The young agent glared at him. "No! Now listen up!" He turned to Rana. "Look, I know you probably miss your family and you're probably lonely, but you can't kidnap Clint or even Sam. We need them, too."

Rana slowly settled down into her humanoid form, a saddened pout on her face. "I just wanted my son back. I missed him all these years and I just wanted him by my side again." Tears looked almost ready to fall. Clint noticed and began to feel sorry for her. "Oh, Rana. Don't cry."

"Let her.", Tony deadpanned. Steve smacked the back of his head. "Anthony!"

"Sorry. L-look, Rana, if it makes this all better maybe you could just visit Clint at the Tower whenever. You see get to see him and we still have him. Also, Pietro won't go on a killing spree.", he offered. Rana's eyes twinkled a little. "Hm. I guess I could do so.", she agreed. She smiled at Clint and Sam, opening her arms. "Alright. I'll let you two birdies go. But I will see you again."

Bucky and Pietro allowed their boyfriends to hug Rana. The goddess seem less hellbent and more joyful now. Which is go because so was Bucky and Pietro.

Peter exhaled. "Now that's settled we should head back home now."

"Yeah. I need to get ASAP. One more ant bite and I'm definitely Hulking out.", Bruce admitted before walking off. The others quickly began to follow. Rene had removed the collar from Kieyana's neck before joining them. The two goddesses watched them went off. When they were out of sight, Rana spoke up.

"Something's off about him."

Kieyana glanced at her lifetime friend before smiling. "I sensed it, too. Only time will tell what it is."

* * *

"Oh my gosh! It's so good to be back at my nest!"

The group watched as Clint and Sam jump onto a sofa and snuggle into the lush pillows. Wanda had whipped out a camera and began to take pictures.

Rene had rounded the sofa and joined them, removing the ears and tails. "And it's good to finally get out this getup."

"I bet. But it was so adorable on you.", Natasha teased as now hazel eyes glared at her.

Vision spoke up.

"I noticed that Rene's name is similar to Rana's. Just a letter difference."

"Huh. He's right.", Rhodey agreed. Rene blushed at the sudden realization of his name. "Shut up."

"Anyone up for some food? I could go for some.", Maria voiced from the back of the room. She was rather impressed with her trainee's work today. Tony flopped down onto a lush chair, pulling Steve into his lap. The others still wondered how he does it with Steve weighing so much more. "FRIDAY, order us some Chinese. That's cool?"

The others agreed, settling down now while FRIDAY proceeded with the task. Clint and Sam were suddenly pulled up and then settled back down into the laps of their boyfriends. They welcomed the passionate, sweet touches. It was very needed after hours of being apart.

* * *

 **And there's that chapter!**

 **(1) Remember 'The Amazing Spider-Man'? The first movie? Andrew Garfield? Yeah, remember how he first discovered his powers. That's my favorite scene. And yes, those who haven't seen it, spoiler alert, he did destory an alarm clock. I really wished I could do that.**

 **Speaking of Spider-Man, anybody giggled with excitement seeing the Superfamily all in the same movie?! I mean both Tony and Steve had their moments with Peter, despite Tony having more time with him, but hey. Got to deal with it. I'm actually glad they got Tom Holland to play Spidey. He was pretty good and it was a relief to see a slightly younger version of our Spidey. Not saying Tobey and Andrew weren't good. Honestly, I have** _ **three**_ **adaptations of live-action Peter I can't choose to favor. I watched their movies! All of them! Not 'Homecoming' of course. Excited for that though.**

 **So, think Rana should come back? Like her? Hate her? Tell me!**

 **And of course, review.**


	14. Hello, Avengers!

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Again, I just own the OCs. I don't even own Hello Kitty!**

 **Notes: Takes place after my latest Avengers fic "Happy Birthday, America!". Mentioned that in that story, too. Also, the inspiration of this fic came from the fact that Tom Holland (Now I seriously can't choose my fav Spider-Man out of** _ **THREE**_ **actors.) wore Hello Kitty PJ pants on the set of filming 'Spider-Man: Homecoming'. Peeps started with the fanart and stuff about Deadpool totally onboard with it. Why? Well, he packed his guns in a Hello Kitty bag in his movie! So, it's adorable that both halves of Spideypool dealt with Hello Kitty. One of my OTPs with one of my favorite cute characters of all time? Yup. Yes... I am a fan of Hello Kitty. But who isn't?!**

 **Warnings: Unless you haven't read the previous 13 chapters of this fic, you know nothing is new. Just the usual cussing, male on male content, randomness. The usual stuff. Oh! But new warning! Hello Kitty! That shall be all! Wait, no it's not! There's a bit of crossdressing! Okay, now that's all!**

 **Now you may proceed!**

* * *

Chapter 14 - Hello Avengers!

It started off as a pretty good morning. The gang woken up to a bright, warm day despite the rain last night. For once, Wade didn't wake up the others with banging, a gunshot, or the force of yelling. Probably because Peter finally persuaded not to.

They all met up in the large spaced kitchen. Steve, Sam, Clint, and Natasha took to cooking breakfast. Bucky and Bruce were getting the juice, milk and coffee ready while Tony and Rhodey got the dishes out. Everyone had vowed that Thor couldn't go near the dishes unless it's with supervision.

At the moment, everyone was settling down with bacon, eggs, and French toast. They noticed Peter had yet to emerge. Wade was awake though. "Uh, Wilson, where's my baby boy?", Tony questioned with an added arm fold. The Merc with the Mouth stopped munching on his bacon. "Probably showering. He was waking up when I got out the bathroom. I guess he really isn't feeling up to waking up."

The subject of the small conversation had entered the kitchen, clad in pajamas. His brunet hair was ruffled and his usual innocent round eyes were half opened. "Morning, everyone."

"Morning, Peter. Want some... what are you wearing?", Pietro questioned, pointing down. Everyone followed his gaze and held back gasps and laughter. Was Peter really...? Was that...? Holy turkey!

Peter shrugged, pulling at the Hello Kitty _pink_ PJ pants. "Eh. Just pajama pants. Mary-Jane got it for me as a gag gift I think."

"I didn't know you had those. And I've been through your clothes.", Wade admitted, not noticing two pairs of eyes glaring at the back of his head.

"Well, I've had these for a while. It's not like I'm embarrassed or anything. Everyone loves Hello Kitty and these are some comfortable pants."

"Hello Kitty? Who is this 'Hello Kitty'?", Thor questioned. He was confused at Peter's clothing choice, but he was more baffled at the words of a cat being greeted. Bruce walked over to Thor and sat by him. "Well, Thor, 'Hello Kitty' is this white cat, or anthropomorphic cat girl, owned by this company called Sanrio. Her name is Kitty White and she lives with her mom, dad, and twin sister, Mimmy (this is how her name is spelled, I kid you not) in London."

"She also happens to be a Scorpio and a third grader who likes apple pie.", Clint added.

Thor blinked. "Oh."

"Yup."

Steve planted his elbows onto the counter top, a bland look on his face. "Oh yeah. I remember when that article came out about her not being a cat. Well, she couldn't be if she owned one. That and she doesn't walk on all fours."

"How'd you know about the article?", Sam questioned.

The blonde pointed at his boyfriend. "Tony. Anyways, we have no mission today. I guess we could just hang out or whatever?"

"Down for it. Ooh! Karaoke! Karaoke!", Wanda suggested before sipping her orange juice.

"Eh. I don't really can grasp on the idea of singing my heart out to some pop song.", Rhodey admitted. Just then FRIDAY spoke up. **"Sir, Agent Hill is here."**

"Let her in.", Tony said. Maria had walked into the kitchen, dressed in black slacks and blazer over a white dress shirt, but her clothes looked ruffled and dirty. Her hair was down out of its usual bun. She even had a bit of dirt and cuts on her skin. "You have a mission! Robots are terrorizing the city again!", she sung, teasing the group. Bucky wanted to lift a table. "HOW?! JUST WHY?!"

Maria shrugged. "We tried handling it, but there's so many of them. The citizens already been evacuated, so don't worry about that. Now get a move on!"

* * *

It took no time for the Avengers to take out the robots. It really took about an hour or so at the most. There was less damage on the streets than on them. Each person had scratches, oil, dirt and some blood from the fight. Deadpool had carried Spider-Man into the living room since at last minute he was knocked out. Pietro had his sister slung on over his shoulder. She just got too tired to walk.

Sam was being carried bridal style by Bucky despite his protests. The bird themed hero had hurt his leg when robot tried to shoot him down. Steve was also being carried but by Thor who also carried a de-Hulked Bruce. Both smaller men were over his shoulders.

Clint and Natasha held each other up feeling only exhausted from little blood loss. Vision was perfectly fine as well Rhodey who was just as tired. Tony only had his suit to repair, but he was fine, too.

"Thor, take Bruce and Steve to the clinic. Wilson, Barnes, take Sam and Peter there, too.", Natasha ordered. Said men began their way to the elevator when they spotted a bundle of red, pink and white on the sofa. Everyone had stopped and was shocked to see Loki there. And he just wasn't just sitting there. He was watching some TV show, eating ice cream and Nutella and dressed in black and green PJs. All while wrapped in a Hello Kitty blanket.

"Loki?", Tony questioned.

Said god looked up, spoon in his mouth. "Hello."

"Loki, when did you get here?", Bruce asked, lifting his head in a comical way. Loki took another scoop of ice cream. "A while."

"What's with the blanket?", Bucky asked teasingly. Loki shrugged. "It was comfortable. I found it in one of the storage closets. I even got a pillow.", he answered, ignoring the tease while he pulled out a matching pink Hello Kitty blanket.

Wanda wanted a picture. "You have no problem with the girly-ness of the blanket and pillow?"

"No. Not really. As long as I'm warm, comfortable and at peace I don't care.", he admitted, turning back to his show and ignoring the others' presence. The others just shrugged it off and continued to go fix themselves up.

* * *

Sam watched as the team's doctor (who recovered from only a scratch since he was the Hulk) examined his leg. He got nervous when he saw the frown Bruce put on. "Damn. Well, Sam, you got a broken ankle."

"How?", the younger male asked, absolutely surprised by the whole ordeal. Sure, he did land a little funny before but he really didn't feel any major pain. Bruce removed his glasses and shown Sam a x-ray of his ankle. "Well, you did land a little funny earlier." See? "I say you stay off your feet for a while. I'm going to have to put you on a cast though. A few weeks at the most."

"This means I'm out of missions, aren't I?"

"Oh yeah. You think Bucky's going to let you out of the _room_ like this? Even with a broken finger he's not letting you out of his sight. After the Rana incident, I doubt it."

Sam had to agree on that one. He sighed, shifting on the examination table. "Fine. But do I get a wheelchair?"

"I'll be sure to ask SHIELD for one. Since we don't have anymore."

Yeah, after countless missions, insane villains, pranks and accidents there was no way the team could keep some necessary equipment. Don't even ask.

"Okay. I can live with that."

"FRIDAY, can you contact Agent Coulson for a wheelchair?"

 **"Of course, Dr. Banner."** , the female AI answered. Bruce turned back to fixing Sam's leg, not noticing Clint had overhead. The archer smirked as an idea formulated in his head. And anyone who knew Clint would know that this is a _bad_ situation.

* * *

About an hour had passed since then. Everyone was gathered in the living room, all freshened and patched up. And with consciousness. Peter was back into his pink, iconic PJ pants while cuddled up to his boyfriend. The teen chose to ignore the snickers and baffled looks as they didn't surprise him. Just annoyed him really.

Loki had stayed in the living room, still wrapped up in the blanket that matched Peter's pants. His brother would give him looks, but in the end, Thor treated it as a normal thing.

At the moment, everyone had their attention to the movie that was playing. Something about a train, ice, and a dude that awfully looked like their star spangled leader. (1)

"I'm telling you, he's like the rugged, rebel version of my baby here. I'd bang it.", Tony admitted. Steve blushed, the pink tint clearly seen since he didn't have a beard like his movie counterpart. "T-Tony, can you not say that?"

"It's true, my dear. Nat, wouldn't you bang that?"

"Probably.", Natasha answered blandly.

"See?"

"Tony, just don't."

 **"Sir, Agent Coulson is here with Mr. Wilson's wheelchair."** , FRIDAY announced. Wade looked up in confusion. "Why did he bring me a wheelchair?"

"Not you, Wade. It's for Sam.", Bruce replied, getting up to greet Phil as he entered the room. "Thanks for bringing the wheelchair, Phil.", he greeted. Phil shrugged. "No biggie. I had nothing better to do. But I am rather concerned with the choice of the wheelchair's... design, Dr. Banner."

"What about... oh my goodness!"

At Bruce's shout, everyone else turned to see the doctor with his mouth covered while staring downwards at whatever Phil held. "Bruce, what's the matter?", Sam asked. Hearing him, Bruce snapped out of his shock and stood in front of Phil to hide the wheelchair. A blush was on his face and he looked mighty guilty. "I-it's nothing, Sam. Nothing at all. Just some... uh... kinks that need to be worked out with the wheelchair." The brunet began to push Coulson, who was now confused at this point, out the room along with the wheelchair he made sure no one saw. Especially, Sam.

When the two was out of hearing range, Bruce squealed in horror. "Why is that wheelchair _pink_? And decorated with _Hello Kitty_?"

Yes, the wheelchair was a Hello Kitty decorated one. From the pink cushioned seat to the Hello Kitty symbols on the sides of the wheels. It made matters worse how the metal parts were a light blue color.

Phil blinked. "Well, I told to get this chair."

"By who?! Because whoever told you that is going to be the person Sam's going to kill later."

"Shit. Well, I better go say my good-bye to Clint then."

Bruce's eyes narrowed. "Oh he's in deep shit."

"Who's in deep shit?"

The duo turned around to see the other Avengers. Sam was being carried bridal style by Bucky, who didn't mind at all. Out of instinct, Bruce kicked the wheelchair into the nearest opened room. "Well... uh..."

"Bruce, something's not sitting right with you. What's going on?", Rhodey asked. Bruce stepped back. "Um... you see... Sam's wheelchair... it's... how should I put this?"

"Is something wrong with it?", Wanda questioned.

"Everything. All I could say is it's not Phil's fault or mine. If there's someone to blame... it's the other bird in the group.", Bruce sighed before retrieving the chair. Sam's eyes widened at the colors and symbols on it, recognizing instantly on what the wheelchair was from. "WHO DID THIS?!"

Seconds later, the culprit was known once he started laughing his ass off. Sam gasped in horror at the betrayal. "Clint, I thought I was your Bird Bro, man! I chased after a goddess and risked my freedom for you! Oh you're lucky my ankle's broken because otherwise, I'd kick your ass from here to fucking Budapest and back!"

Clint wiped the tears from his eyes. "Sorry, Sammy. But I just couldn't resist a prank when it calls."

"Please tell me I'm not stuck with this chair. I feel I'm betraying the bird moral code."

"Well, SHIELD has other wheelchairs back at base. I can go get another one.", Phil volunteered. Bruce glanced from Sam to the wheelchair and back to Sam. "In the mean time, you're kind of stuck with this one. I don't think Bucky needs to carry you around all day."

"Oh I don't mind. I like Sam so... _vulnerable_ like this.", the brunet grinned, nuzzling in said Falcon's neck. The younger felt so defeated. Should he surrender to Bucky's seduction and add more time of not walking for a while or take the wheelchair?

"... I'll just take this fucking wheelchair."

* * *

It's been two weeks since the robot incident and the awakening of Hello Kitty in the Tower . Each day that passed, somehow the iconic feline popped up. Whether it was Wade's backpack that he sworn he burrowed from a female friend. (2) Or Thor actually browsing the net and _finding_ her show. It seem like fate was playing mind games with the Avengers.

Eventually it got out of hand when it hit SHIELD HQ. It was minor but it was enough to set everyone almost completely off.

Sam was still stuck in a wheelchair, but thankfully it was a black one. With a hint of red, too.

At the moment, the team was assembled (go ahead and laugh) in the meeting room. Fury was going over the arrangements of training for the recruited agents when Maria had walked in with Rene, both dressed in casual clothing. "Good afternoon.", the brunette greeted. She went over to Fury's side and began to strip off her jacket. What laid underneath was a peace breaker.

"OH MY FUCKING GOSH! MARIA, WHAT THE HELL?!", Pietro shouted.

Maria blinked. "What?"

"You're wearing a _Hello Kitty_ shirt.", Vision pointed out. Maria looked down at the purple shirt that was embedded in glitter, flowers and of course, Hello Kitty. Maria shrugged, not caring at all. "Agent Jadeson and I just came back from an undercover mission at a girl's birthday party."

"And what a brat she was. Her theme was Hello Kitty. Down from the party decorations, cake and the gifts. Everyone had to wear something of the merchandise to attend.", Jadeson added in, revealing the black tee shirt of a winking Kitty in a purple and teal bow and a matching dress. Okay, the shirt was actually pretty cute.

Tony threw up his arms in defeat and stood up. "We're being cursed. We're cursed right now. Peter, this all started because that girl brought you those pants. Remind me to sue the frig out of her."

"Tony, you can't do that.", the teen reminded. "Especially over something so silly."

Stark thought about it. "Right. I'll just ground you for a week."

"WHAT?!", Peter retorted harshly, now standing up as well. Tony crossed his arms. "You want two weeks?!"

"Why are you so mean?!"

"Three?"

Peter growled, sitting back down in defeat. Steve patted his shoulder in sympathy before turning to glare at his boyfriend. "Tony, this isn't Peter's fault. It's not like he has powers controlling chances or fate or other mental powers of that sort of nature. You're just being a child over this whole thing."

"Oh I'm the child? I'm not the one pouting right now."

"Anthony, leave Peter alone.", Steve scowled in his Cap voice. That immediately had the brunet sitting down and shutting up. Steve smiled in satisfaction before turning to the concerned, confused looks of Maria, Rene and Nick. "I apologize on the behalf of Tony. It's just... lately we've been spotting Hello Kitty everywhere."

"She or her Sanrio, adorable friends won't leave us be. It's like she's watching us or something.", Clint added in. Everyone nodded in agreement. "It's... scary...", Wanda whined.

Maria and Rene exchanged looks while Fury tried to look as 'not' annoyed as possible.

"Oh... okay then...", Hill dragged out. Rene decided not to comment. Honestly, what he could he say to this? The Avengers being harassed by an iconic cartoon cat girl? Hm... A lot thought into that one.

"Maybe in order to get this over with is to embrace it.", a voice piped up.

Everyone had jumped and turned to the entrance of the meeting room. There just stood Agent Phil Coulson. He seemingly had been standing there for a couple of minutes or so, reading the little smirk on his face. He walked further into the room, taking a standing between Natasha and Clint. "Inside each of you, you're fond of Hello Kitty whether you want to admit it, like it, hate it, or deny it. Trust me, I say go on and embrace it and maybe it will stop."

"How you know it would work?", Sam asked, not really ready to face the feline idol once more. That wheelchair still kind of creeps him out.

"I had experience. Clint knows."

Said archer suddenly gasped. "Oh my gosh! I remember that! If that wasn't the funniest thing I ever seen!"

"I'm not going to entertain that.", Coulson quickly added, seeing the smirk on Pietro's face.

Tony propped his elbows up on the table. "Well, how are we suppose to 'embrace' this fondness of that feline?"

The grin on Coulson's face said it all.

* * *

"I can't fucking believe this."

"It's not as bad as you think. Look, even Bruce of all people is enjoying this."

"I'm agreeing with Tony here. This is un-fucking-believable."

"James Buchanan Barnes and Anthony Edward Stark, do me a favor and refrain from using any more foul language until this tape is over or I will have to use drastic measures to shut both of you up."

The two brunets took Steve's threat to heart and immediately shut their asses up. Though they were still hating this current experience they're going through.

The team decided to take Phil's advice and went through to dealing with the random pop-ups of Hello Kitty. The very next night after spending as much needed money, they all gathered into the living room to watch a whole collection of the snow white cartoon girl. What really topped the cake though? Surrounding them was many Hello Kitty merchandise from pillows and blankets to dolls and shoes of her. Sam even switched back to the cursed wheelchair. And much amusement, each individual wore Hello Kitty. Steve and Peter was even decked out in Hello Kitty hoodies with the ears on top and glitter in the back forming the infamous logo. It was pretty funny seeing Thor with a Hello Kitty ribbon in his golden locks to match the Hello Kitty PJ onesie suit he wore.

Natasha even put up little fight and wore a Hello Kitty themed dress. With matching lingerie underneath, but no one needed to know that. For the sake of their life.

"Hm. This show is really entertaining. Who knew?", Vision teased wrapping himself and Wanda in a blanket. Loki was right next to them, dressed in a green tee with the cat girl on it with the words 'Evil, but Cute'. "I have to agree on that. She is quite the sassy one, huh?"

"Much like a little villain we know. But I'm favoring her sister. She's adorable!", Clint shamelessly cooed. Steve had nodded, also on board with the statement. "I like her better, too. She reminds me of someone."

"You. Just you, baby.", Tony answered, now more content with the watching of Hello Kitty's Paradise. "But can I say I like the part where Kitty is throwing acorns at Mimmy? Girl's got some aim."

"Tony, they're practically two inches apart.", Rhodey reminded with a roll of his eyes. (3)

The other brunet shrugged. "Eh. Who cares? I want this night over with! Who wants to finish it off with some Hello Kitty cake?!"

"I do! I need sugar!", Wade announced, running off into the kitchen with Peter calling his name out and chasing him out.

* * *

The next morning, the group found themselves scattered about the currently colorful decorated room. Some of them found cake and ice cream on them. Bruce had been the first to awake, catching a glimpse of Thor's naked (and well sculpted) body. Only an aqua blue Hello Kitty pillow covered his... um... hammer? The doctor blushed, curling his eyesight with a blanket that matched his lavender shirt and shorts. "Oh my gosh, Thor, cover yourself!"

Thor sat up quickly as the others awoke as well. He looked down and blinked. "Hm. Why am I naked?"

"Don't know, but I think FRIDAY can answer that with some recorded footage. But let's save that for later. I have a headache and I'm sticky.", Steve complained. He then got a good look at what he was wearing. "WHAT AM I IN LINGERIE?!"

Steve still adorned his hoodie, but under it was something else. As he mentioned, the blonde was wearing a matching Hello Kitty lingerie set. It was lacy, black and covered so little, but enough to spare some eyesight. Like the underwear. It wasn't French cut, but more so boxer shorts. Though, they quite outlined Steve's behind nicely.

Peter had covered his eyes, not wanting to see his now adopted second father in such an attire. "Please let this just be a nightmare."

"Petey, you have something to worry about, too."

The youngest of the bunch uncovered his eyes found himself wearing a totally different outfit from last night. Like Steve, he still wore his hoodie, but under it was a pale lilac Hello Kitty crop top that read 'I'm Adorable, but also Fiesty' with the iconic character winking, and matching star printed short shorts that was mean for the feminine sex. Peter blinked, not wanting to believe it. "Oh... my... gosh... what the... hell... happened... to us?", he whined slowly. He found himself being joined by Steve. The older had zipped up his hoodie to cover up most of his body, a bright red blush adorned his face.

"This can't be happening. I have ice cream smeared on me and I'm in lingerie."

"I'm so in love with that! Stevie, let's go to our bedroom now!", Tony squealed, going in to wrap his arms around the other's waist. Everyone had turned the moment the billionaire's hand sneaked under the soldier's hoodie.

"Alrighty then, while that's being solved, let's so clean ourselves up and lock all this stuff and our embarrassment in a vault. Agreed?", Clint asked.

"Oh most definitely. Ashamed that Sammy didn't wake up in lingerie or girl clothes.", Bucky frowned. Sam rolled his eyes. "Of course you would want that, you horny devil."

"Who said I was horny? I just like to appreciate your form in any way possible."

Pietro sighed, also disappointed Clint didn't wake up in the same state as Steve or Peter. Though the cake smeared on his cheek was kind of cute. "I'm on board with that. Maybe I could get Steve or Peter to loan-"

"Nope! Not today or ever!", Clint interrupted.

Bruce, Natasha and Vision exchanged looks. At this point, Wanda took the liberty to take pictures while Thor, Rhodey and Loki dragged themselves ahead. Wade was carrying Peter to get a chance at feeling him up with Tony was relentlessly doing the same to Steve.

"Yeah. This shall go into a dark ominous place where no one shall ever know of this."

* * *

 **Oh my kitten this was actually a fun chapter to write! And I hope you peeps could agree with reading it!**

 **(1) - Any fan of Chris Evans know that this movie I'm talking about is 'Snowpiercer'. I just love the movie and it made me want to cry. But I so found it ironic about his role in this movies and other movies he played in. His character always have to deal with ice in some way. He played in two movies that dealt with the element in the title (Winter Soldier and Playing it Cool), he played a character frozen in ice (we know who), and before that he played a character who's powers were opposite of ice. Hell, one of the roles he had had his character die because was frozen! I forgot that movie's title though.**

 **(2) - Those who have seen the 'Deadpool' movie remembers that Hello Kitty backbag as I mentioned in the beginning. I also forgot about the lip balm that appeared, too. But anyways, the female friend I mentioned will appear in an upcoming chapter. If you can guess who, you're awesome. *wink wink***

 **(3) - Okay, as I also mentioned, I'm a fan of Hello Kitty. I grew up on her. Especially her shows. I had this one tape (and yes, it was a VHR tape) with an episode where her and Mimmy have a puppet shadow show and Kitty legits throws acorns at Mimmy.**

 **So, hope you peeps enjoyed the chapter! If you did, let me know in a review!**


	15. Triple Charmed Threats

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Yeah, I'm not rich so that means I don't own the Avengers or other Marvel (and DC) characters. Just the random OCs.**

 **Notes: I got this idea to write this crossover chapter when I realized so little people acknowledge it. I also happen to be a fan of both DC and Marvel and if you try to persuade me into choosing one or the other you will regret! Also, I thought it would be kind of funny. But hey, you guys decide that.**

 **Warnings: *sighs* I'm still doing warnings. Which are pretty much the same. Unless you just hate crossovers, especially between DC and Marvel (which I personally like, don't judge me!). Then yeah...**

 **Go on! Go read this!**

* * *

Chapter 15 - Triple Charmed Threats

Something told them all to follow Loki out when he announced he was hanging out with some friends today. For sure they were confident that he wasn't going to hang out with any other villains. Loki himself proclaimed they were amateurs and he wasn't going down that path anymore. Regardless, this was Thor's brother who just so happen to be the God of Mischief. No doubt something was going to go down today and the days that followed.

It began with a simple "I'll be back later!" with a small wave and leaving steps. Everyone else was chilling out in various rooms. All were relaxed... well, except Peter.

Due to his spider sense, he sometimes got paranoid at some things. Especially, if he knew it was coming in record time.

Said teen was cuddled up with his boyfriend, reading a book. But he couldn't seem to stay focus on both the book and the cuddling. Wade got wind of Peter's uneasiness and decided to confront him. "Baby boy, what's wrong?"

Peter pouted, closing the book in defeat. He knew he couldn't hide this from Wade. "Sorry, it's just I got this uneasy feeling, you know. Like something is about to happen."

"Well, relax, alright? Sometimes you freak me out with that spidey sense of yours. Though, it's one of the things I like about you.", Wade admitted, nuzzling Peter's neck before kissing his cheek sweetly. Steve and Tony had walked in at the moment and saw the couple. Steve smiled before going over to his easel to paint. Tony took a seat next to the window, staring out of it while drinking some soda. "Hm. It's a clear day. Maybe I should go fly around in the suit for a while."

"Tony, the last time you did that you somehow started a convention of people wanting your autographs and pictures. Then somehow the rest of us got tied in and you revealed that 'Captain America is officially and rightfully claimed by Iron Man'. Then you kissed me and boy, were the tabloids busy after that."

Oh yeah. That happened about a week ago. In fact, it happened the morning the team spent waking up to a Hello Kitty disaster. After Steve threatened him and even attempted to bash his head with his shield, Tony took out one of his suits and went flying to clear his head. But before then he along with the others found out Loki was the cause of the chaos the night before. You know... magic.

Anyways, Tony went flying, started a mob of fangirling and fanboying, got the others tied into the mix, and caused millions of nosebleeds when he kissed Steve in front of the gathered audience.

The next 36 hours after that, he was shunned. Badly. And he truly missed the blonde during that time.

"Okay, okay. I admit I was wrong, but I was recovering after being spelled and all. Also, I didn't want to hide my relationship with you anymore. You're someone that needs to be treasured and worshipped, Steve."

With that said, Steve blushed, keeping his eyes on his painting so Tony won't notice. "Um... that's sweet of you to say, love."

"It's true, baby doll."

Tony stole a quick kiss just as the others entered in the room. "Wow, every time I walk into a room, the Stony couple is loving up on each other.", Natasha taunted.

Steve was about to retort when Peter had suddenly shouted and ducked under a table.

"EVERYONE DOWN!"

There was a shatter of glass from a fiery blast with a followed fire streak and a streak of blue. The team had took cover from the sudden heat in the room. What surprised them was then the quick change of temperature. 200 degrees became 10.

They peeked over various tables and furniture they hidden behind and spotted two familiar males.

The infamous Human Torch, Johnny Storm, and Loki Laufeyson, the God of Mischief.

Johnny was adorned in his fire form looking equally pissed off as Loki was who was blue and wielding ice swords.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!"

"KISS MY ASS, LAUFEYSON!"

The two went charging at each other until a red sphere formed around each one.

Eyes averted to Wanda who was conjuring the magic. "What is going on?", she demanded.

Johnny pointed at Loki, his usual blue eyes turning a burning gold in anger. "He started it! He froze my legs!"

"By accident! I sneezed! That's all!"

"Liar!"

"Who are you calling a liar, you idiot?!"

"Bastard!"

"Twink!"

"How dare you!"

"HEY! SHUT UP RIGHT NOW, YOU TWO!"

Quickly, Loki and Johnny went silent and even put down their defenses at Bruce's shout. The doctor walked over to them, arms crossed and a clearly 'Don't Fuck with Me' face. And they knew better than try to test it. "How about this situation gets handled civilized? I doubt anyone needs added damage to the broken window, burnt furniture, and iced floor."

"Yes, sir."

"Johnny!"

At the call of his name, Johnny was released from Wanda's shield. He looked over to the opening elevator and found the remaining three of the family, with Alicia, at the entrance of the room. Susan looked _very_ pissed. Her intense blue eyes were sharp with anger and her arms were crossed over her chest. "Jonathan Storm! Care to explain what the hell was that?!", she growled, standing just mere inches from her younger brother. Johnny stammered for an answer, but none came out clear. A blush appeared on his face when he heard Ben chuckling. "Asshole...", he muttered.

Susan sighed, glancing at Tony and Steve for a brief second. "So sorry about all this. We tried to stop him, but sometimes he's way too fast for our liking. We'll pay for the damage and-"

Steve held up a hand to stop her. "No, no need, Mrs. Richards. The matter is all sorted out now. Besides, I'm _sure_ this incident _won't_ happen again.", he sternly added in, shooting a death Captain America glare at Loki and Johnny. Both noticed and quickly nodded. "Yes, sir."

"You know, Johnny, you should take up some manners from the good Captain.", Ben snickered. Johnny's blue eyes flared an orange as his hands began to glow with fire. Reed placed a hand on his shoulder to soothe him. "Johnny, calm down. Ben, leave him alone."

"What? It's true though. If the window's not going to be paid for, he should stay here and learn from Captain Rogers."

"Fuck you!"

"See?"

Susan sighed. "Well, Johnny, you do have to work on those manners."

Johnny blinked at his sister. "What? No, Susie, you can't be serious."

"Well, Steve is a good man. And a good influence. I mean he's dating Stark and look how he's turning out.", Reed added in, earning a glare from said man.

"Bite me."

"I'm sure you'll like your future hubby to do that to you."

"You know, it's not a bad idea, really.", Sam added in before biting into a sandwich Bucky made for him. Peter, sitting on the couch, bit his lip, thinking about it. "I don't know, Uncle Sammy. With him and Uncle Loks not getting along and all.", he voiced, concern in his tone. Loki crossed his arms, a deadpanned look on his face. "Oh no. I think the brat is rather trouble."

"Peter or Johnny?", Clint questioned.

"Why, Johnny, of course. Peter's a suitable companion and minds his manners. Some traits I'm glad he got from the Captain."

Peter blushed, nuzzling in Wade's chest while Steve proceeded to do the same, but not the cuddling in Wade's chest! That's a no-no. He was just blushing.

"Loki, you make that sound genetic.", Wanda commented. Loki shrugged. "Could be. After all, he is the lovechild of Stark and Steven."

"When will you guys stop saying that? I'm their adopted son now. Isn't that enough?"

"Nope.", Pietro teased.

Johnny sighed. "Can I go home now?"

"Nope. You're staying here until you could learn to behave better, young man. Captain Rogers, you wouldn't mind teaching him, right?", Susan requested. Steve shook his head. "Not at all, ma'am."

"He's so polite. I like it.", Alicia commented.

Thor had stepped up. "Ah, yes. Steven is quite the gentleman. And since he will be teaching young Jonathan..."

"I'm not that young."

"... some lessons, Loki, I advise for you to stay with our parents until this is over. Understand, brother?"

The slightly younger god just rolled his green eyes. "I couldn't agree more, Thor."

Johnny blinked at the sudden turn of events. "Wait! So I'm now taking lessons from Steve?!"

"Yup! Enjoy them!", Reed smiled. The blonde snapped an almost identical blue gaze at his look-alike counterpart. Steve was smiling innocently, but something told Johnny it was much more sinister than that.

* * *

That night, the team had gathered into the den, ready for a night of fun. With a large deck of Uno cards, everyone was sitting in a circle, ready to play the game. And you may be wondering how they're going to play with 15 people. Well, they just put together about 4 decks of cards, but they got it figured out.

After an hour, all remained was Steve, Rhodey, Bucky, Sam, Peter, and Johnny. The fire starter was settled between Peter and Steve. He was nodding off, holding only two cards in his hand. "When is this all over?", he whined. Steve ruffled his shorter locks and then nuzzled him. "In a few, Johnny. Uno! I call red!"

"Is it because it reminds you of Tony?", Rhodey teased, setting down a red eight. Sam placed down a Wild Card. "Uno out. Peter, you call the color.", he offered as Bucky came over and wrapped his arms around the smaller man's waist from behind. "Johnny looks like he's about to clock out."

Eyes fell on the Captain's look-alike. Johnny somehow managed to grab a pillow and was cuddling his face into it. His cards were long discarded. Peter rubbed his back, comforting him. They decided to call it quits since they were feeling sleepy, too. Tony quickly rushed over to Steve and lifted the blonde with ease. Which still shocks them as to how. "Hey, Thor, you should totally carry Johnny to his room.", he joked, kissing Steve's shoulder. Thor shook his head. "Unfortunately, Anthony, I have my own hands occupied." The blond god emphasized this point by nodding down to a sleeping Bruce. Natasha pulled out her phone. "Oh yeah, definitely going into the album."

Rhodey sighed. "You know we can't just leave him out here."

"Guys, regardless of how sleepy I look, I'm capable of walking. Hell, I'll fly to my room if I have to.", Johnny sassed. He sat up and glared at everyone. "I'll do it. I'll fly through this Tower."

"Johnny, you don't want to do that. If you do, there will be a punishment waiting for you.", Steve warned darkly. The fire starter gulped, quickly getting up on his feet. "I won't. I promise." The younger then took his leave, going off to his assigned room. The rest followed onward. "Wow. This may be easier than expected. Steve with his death glares and all. Despite the fact how silly it looks with Tony carrying him right now.", Clint pointed out. Steve blushed while Tony smiled in triumph. "He loves it."

Wade, an arm wrapped around the smallest Avenger, laughed. "I really can't take him serious like that."

Peter pinched his cheek, which got him a whine in return. "Don't talk about my Pops like that, Wade. Remember, he's one of the 19 people you have to ask their blessing for my hand in marriage."

The merc gulped. "19?"

"Tony, Steve, Clint, Natasha, Thor, Bruce, Rhodey, Sam, Bucky, Vision, Pietro, Wanda, Aunt May, Gwen, Mary Jane, Loki, Fury, Coulson, and Hill."

"Oh."

"Yup."

* * *

A week had passed since Johnny's assigned stay at the Tower. The blonde was getting slightly better with his attitude, mostly on Steve's part of threats, but there was some progress! It helped that Johnny did get along with Peter, both instantly becoming close friends, almost brothers. Also, since Loki did choose to stay in Asgard was good, too.

At the moment, the fire starter was wondering about the halls, looking for something to do. It's been a while since he actually _did_ something. No not like that...

Johnny actually haven't left the Tower since day one. He didn't feel closed in or anything. He just... never really thought about it. For one, girls... and guys apparently were always on his ass... literally. After the whole fiasco with that one chick, Johnny turned down his flirtatious nature. He decided to be subtle and even then some people were still throwing themselves at him. He thought about finding someone to date so they can serve as a shield (pun intended both ways) so that could stop. But then the noble part of him didn't want that individual to suffer from death threats and glares from his fans unwillingly.

So, he decided to stay single and wait... and stay clear of fans. Especially those with promises of fireproof lingerie.

"Hmm... what to do?"

"Johnny!"

"AH!"

Johnny fell back onto the floor from the sudden shout, his hands glowing brightly with starting flames and his eyes changing from blue to orange. He looked up and saw it was only Natasha and Wanda. "Oh my god, can you not do that?", he whined, getting up while Wanda giggled.

"Sorry. We were just wondering if we would like to go out with us? Get some food and maybe head to a clothes shop for fun."

The blonde thought about it before nodding. Nothing bad could happen, right?

* * *

BOOM!

"Ah! Damn it! What did I tell you about keeping it a low profile!"

"He started it!"

"No I didn't! I wasn't the one who shot the explosive laser gun, did I?!"

"It's not a laser gun!"

"HEY! YOU TWO CUT IT OUT! TAKE COVER BEFORE YOU GET SHOT!"

"Yes, ma'am."

* * *

He stand corrected. The moment the three walked out of the Tower and was down the road, Tony had called about an explosion and that they were needed for it. And since Johnny was staying with them, he had to go, too.

Truth be told he was pleased, but at least he had something to do other than minding his manners.

It didn't take long for the team to gather up and ready themselves in downtown New York. There was a massive shoot out going on, from one side to the other side of the street. There was an easily spotted array of bombed black vehicles, too.

"Hawkeye, smoke 'em.", Cap ordered. Hawkeye raised three arrows and shot them with ease. They landed between the two groups and sure enough a large smoke cloud formed.

Once that was in motion, the team rushed in, stopping the bad guys and quickly tying them up.

The smaller group, consisting of six people, had immediately stop shooting the moment the Avengers arrive, so they didn't appear as threatening. When it was clear, a woman stepped out from behind a really shot up car. She looked on the defense, dressed in black, and a stone cold look on her face. "Looks like it's clear. We should get going."

On cue, four of the remaining individuals began to follow her. But a red wall stopped them. They looked over and paled seeing the scowls of the heroes... and Deadpool's thumbs up.

"Shit."

"Right you are. Where do you think you're going?", Stark questioned, keeping up a raised palm just in case one of them tried something.

"Uh... nowhere in particular? I mean, those guys started it with us. One moment we were all buying donuts, the next we're being shot at and somehow blow up their vans.", a clean shaven bald male answered. Beside him, a man with a cowboy hat crossed his arms. Obviously, he couldn't believe the man's words either.

"Yeah, sure, right. You're coming with us.", Rhodey added.

"The hell you preach! Jensen, get your ass up!", a man with a sharp suit ordered. The group turned their heads as the last individual popped up, laptop in his hands, dressed in a magenta tee and glasses. "Sorry, distracted, Clay. I was seeing if there was another donut shop we could go to. What's going on?"

He turned and almost dropped the device in his hands when he saw the gathered heroes. "Um..."

All of a sudden, Falcon rushed up to him and grabbed his face.

"Guys! This dude is a triplet!", he squealed.

Jensen blushed as the attention was now on him. And the fact from the corner of his eye, he spotted a rather displeased individual. "Okay, what the hell is that suppose to mean?"

"Fury is not going to believe this.", Spiderman piped up.

"Fury? Okay, I'm confused.", the woman from earlier admitted. "I don't get it either. What's so special about Jensen?", a darker man asked, twirling a knife in his hand.

Said tech caught two of the Avengers walking up to him. One flaming and the other dressed in the American Flag. It suddenly clicked who was standing in front of him. "No... fucking way! Cougar, it's Captain America and the Human Torch!"

"Fanboy...", Pietro mumbled.

Cap could only just stare at the other blonde. "This... this... Banner?"

Bruce, since he didn't turn into the Hulk, shrugged. "Um... skipped genes or something?"

"For a third time? You're shitting me. Although, it's kind of hot."

"Anthony."

"Just saying."

"Can someone enlighten us what's going on?", Clay asked. Jensen had rushed to him, taking hold of his shoulders. "Clay, my man, we are standing in the presence of the Avengers. _The Avengers_. The guys and girls that saved the world more times anyone could count?!"

"Yeah, amazing and all, but they seem more bedazzled about _you_ than vice versa."

"Really, Pooch? I don't see how."

"Because you're Jensen."

"Hate you."

"Feeling's mutual."

"I can't believe this. He even sounds like my Pops. Uncle Bucky, are you seeing and hearing what I am?", Spiderman piped up again.

"This is insane. I spend a few days with you guys and this happens?! What's next, we travel back in time to see Sherlock Holmes and wonder if he looks like Stark or Strange?" (1)

At the sound of that voice, Jensen stilled. He looked over his shoulder and blinked. "You know I never really paid attention to your voice, but boy, do you sound like me!"

"And look like you."

It was then Johnny switched off his flames and Cap took off his cowl. Jensen and his fellow companions gasped.

"Holy shit!"

THUD!

* * *

It was around six when a pair of brown eyes opened, adjusting to the light. "Welcome back, Cougar."

The sniper sat up, realizing he was in some room with not just his team, but the Avengers as well. He found Clay and Aisha at his side. "What happened?"

"You fainted after seeing that Jensen is probably a triplet to America's Golden Boy and a Flaming Hot guy.", Aisha teased, nodding to where said blondes were.

Each were sitting on the floor, forming a small circle while sparing glances at each other. It was kind of weird seeing three of the same face. Yet, there was some differences. The obvious one was glasses. Jensen sported a pair of circular cleared lensed ones. Neither Steve or Johnny sported a pair. There was also the facial hair. Jensen also had that while Johnny and Steve were clean shaven. Smaller differences were the eyes, skin and hair. Jensen was a bit tanner than the two, but slightly. Johnny was right behind and Steve served as the palest. Their hair was slightly different as well. Johnny was the shortest, a dirty blonde like Jensen's, which was slightly longer and spikier. Steve's was the longest with the slightest shade. It was styled more... classic? (He grew it back out a while back.) Johnny and Jensen were sporting more laidback, youthful cuts. And the eyes. Steve's were the brightest of blues, signifying the seriousness and remaining innocence he still had. (Yeah... most of that was drained down the toilet the moment Tony came into his life.) Johnny's was bright, but held more of a child-like persona of a brat, but there was a fiery glaze to them. Now, Jensen's. You couldn't really point out what his eyes held in them with the glasses on. But once he took them off, you can that they held playfulness, but a bit of hurt.

Steve sat up a bit, crossing his arms. "How is this possible? It's like someone cloned me."

"No kidding.", Johnny agreed. He leaned over and poked Jensen's cheek. "This can't be real."

"I'm should be saying that. I mean I look like two heroes known to man. This is the kind of shit you see in sci-fi films."

"I'm rather impressed for sure. You don't see this unless siblings are involved.", Bruce added in. Johnny gasped. "Oh my god! I should totally Snapchat Sue this!"

"Snap... chat?", Thor questioned, glancing at Sam for reassurance. "It's another app thing."

From the corner, Roque spoke up.

"Alright, let me get this straight." He pointed at Johnny and Steve. "You two are the Human Torch and Captain America. Jensen happens to look like the both of you."

"Well, from the looks of things.", Steve answered. Roque continued. He glanced at Thor. "You have an actual Norse god living with you who controls thunder."

"Aye."

"Then there's the Black Widow, Hawkeye, Hulk and Iron Man."

"Yup."

"Now you have this... android named Vision."

"Correct."

"Twins, one with some witchy fucking powers and the other a fucking humanized Sonic."

"Yes!"

"War Machine, the Falcon and the Winter Soldier."

"Uh huh. Bucky, don't touch me there."

"And just so happen, you work for SHIELD. A secret-not so secret organization that protects the world and may or may not be working with the Men in Black. And the Director is a guy with an eyepatch."

"And a bitching ass attitude.", Tony chimed in.

Roque sighed. "Anything else we should be informed of?"

"Well, you got Spiderman and Deadpool in the fam now.", Pietro added. Clint, who was playing with his arrows now, pointed one at Tony and Steve. "Those two are dating and have adopted the infamous webslinger."

"Okay, I heard about the dating part. Did you guys really adopt Spiderman?", Aisha asked. Tony nodded proudly before engulfing Peter in a hug. "Yup! I'm such a proud father!"

Natasha nodded. "That and Spiderman and Deadpool are also dating."

"So are we.", Bucky brought up, pulling Sam closer by his waist. "And guaranteed, we will have kids of our own."

"James!"

"I'd love it if you bear my kids."

"And then there's Quicksilver and Hawkeye who is also dating.", Vision added in, seeing how Sam needed some rescue.

Pooch blinked. "So... who's single in this group?"

"Thor, Bruce, Natasha and Rhodey.", Johnny piped up, finally taking his eyes off Jensen. "And me."

"Ah, two out of three are taken.", Clay teased. Eyes turned to Jensen just as Cougar strolled over to him. "You're dating someone?", Natasha asked. Jensen nodded. "Yeah. He makes me happy.", he cooed as Cougar wrapped his arm around his waist and kissed his cheek. Pietro chuckled. "Steve, there's something you two also have in common."

"What's that?"

"Your taste in men. Dark haired and eyed, tanned men."

Tony and Cougar smirked as Steve and Jensen blushed, Johnny giggling at them. "Shut up, Pietro." Steve turned to the Jensen and Cougar. "So what the heck was that going on down there? Why were you being shot at?"

"Well, it's a long damn story, Mr. Rogers. We were just chilling out in your neighborhood when all of a sudden... gunfire.", Pooch answered. Jensen laughed. "No you didn't! You did not just make that reference!"

"I did." (2)

Aisha rolled her eyes. "We're being targeted by our enemy named Max. He wants us dead and the feeling just so happen to be mutual."

"He framed us not too long ago, in the process of killing Bolivian children and had us declared dead. He was having some nuclear bomb made to wipe out a massive population. We managed to stop him, but he got away. Now we're hunting him down for revenge.", Clay added.

Clint gasped, suddenly bearing a sadden face. "Oh I heard about the children getting killed thing. That was so devasting."

"Si. It was.", Cougar agreed.

"Max is a monster. He has killed innocent people just to get what he wants. And the moment he shows up, I'm putting a bullet in between his eyes.", Clay growled. He got up off the couch, now glancing at the window in concern. "But for now, it's best we lay low. With what just happened, who knows where else he'll pop up?"

"Then you guys should stay here.", Wade offered, eying Steve and Tony who looked back at him. He didn't see a hint of disagreement with either of them. The captain looked away and nodded. "It's best to. You guys wouldn't mind, right?"

It was actually a surprise to hear that Steve was agreeing with the Merc with the Mouth. Then again, Wade was proving himself to be a suitable guy for his baby boy. He was still crazy, but that part of him wasn't really a bad thing. He's entertaining.

"I don't mind. Just don't touch any Poptarts without permission first.", Clint voiced. The other six blinked, noticing Thor groaning and placing his face in his hands. "Clint, it was one time."

"No, Thor. We know you like Poptarts, but all be damned. Who know you would go in a rampage?", Natasha joked. The god just frowned and proceed to hid himself behind Bruce. "..."

* * *

Two hours later, consisting of tours, giving supplies, snacks and more ogling of the 'triplets', Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Phil Coulson and Rene Jadeson stopped by. The four entered the den where most of the current residents were.

"Evening, folks.", Fury greeted, announcing their presence.

Tony looked up from nuzzling in Steve's blond locks. "Director Pirate. You're here to talk about what went down earlier, huh?"

"One, don't call me that. Two, yes we are. Apparently, there was a second party involved."

"We know that. They're staying with us for a while.", Wanda said. Right now, she was letting Aisha braid her hair while Natasha was polishing her nails. "Those men that was turned over to SHIELD are working for a guy named Max, who wants them dead. Heard of him?", the Russian questioned, sparing a glance at the agents. Maria shrugged. "He's been under our radar since the Bolivian incident last year. We really didn't get that much information on him."

"You said that they were staying with you?", Phil asked.

Bucky nodded. "Yes. Problem?"

"Not really no. We looked at some files and found that they're kind of like good guys. It's best they just stay here for a while. And honestly... why is Storm here?", Fury asked, signaling to Johnny who had his head on Peter's lap while the younger was cuddled up his boyfriend. Wade smirked. "Are you referring to Storm as in Ororo or Johnny? If it's the first, she probably followed me here to keep tabs on me for Xavier."

"Johnny, Wilson. Johnny."

"I didn't say anything.", Sam whined, glancing up from his magazine.

"Wade, Sam. Wade."

"Oh. Our names are so confusing."

"You're telling us.", Rhodey and Bucky voiced. Rene had sighed. "Anyways, where are they?"

Two hands rose up. Aisha and Pooch were the only ones present in the room. "One of us in the shower, another is in the kitchen making a sandwich and the other two are probably doing who knows what.", Pooch voiced, a disgusted face visible. Suddenly, Roque appeared, a sandwich half eaten in his hand and a knife in the other. He stopped when he saw the four agents. "They're... not... staying here, too, are they?"

"No. We're here for a little briefing.", Jadeson answered. Roque stared him for a while. "Hm.", he smirked.

Aisha noticed. "No, Roque. Or I'll tell Clay."

"Tell Clay. I don't give two shits."

"Tell me what?"

Eyes turned to the voice. Clay was dressed was a black long sleeved shirt and jeans, looking fresh out the shower. "What did Jensen do this time?"

"Jensen hasn't came in here yet. He didn't do anything. Apparently, Roque found himself a 'target'.", Pooch voiced, nodding to the agents. Clay mouthed an 'oh'. "Roque, you're not going to do that."

"But..."

"No."

Clay walked over to Fury. "I'm guessing you're the Director of SHIELD."

"That I am."

"Alright."

"Cougar, no! We just... COUGAR!"

This time everyone glanced to the entrance of the room to find Cougar and Jensen. The moment Jensen was spotted, Coulson lost it. "WAS HE CLONED?!"

Steve glimpsed up from Tony's chest. "No. We were just as baffled as you are, Phil."

"Yeah. Three Steves? That actually is a dream come true.", Tony purred, ghosting a hand on said blonde's butt. Steve blushed and whacked Tony right in the chest. "Ow!"

"One, hand up, Anthony. Two, that's just weird."

No one actually notice Coulson walk up to Jensen and pull at his cheeks. Jensen only blushed, really kind of baffled about the whole thing. Cougar, on the other hand, looked visibly not pleased by the whole thing. Even from the other side of the room, Sam took notice. "Um... Phil? I would stop doing that. Jensen's cat doesn't look so pleased."

Immediately Coulson stopped, a blush flushed on his face. "I'm so sorry. It's just... there's... uh..."

"Take it all in, Uncle Phil. Take it all in.", Peter chuckled, running his fingers through Johnny's short blond strands. The fire starter was pretty calm, eyes closed, and hands resting on his stomach. Wade had his arms wrapped around Peter's waist, eying Johnny. "It's like... Cap and Stark had another son, but this one was a split replica of Cap. But had Stark's personality."

"I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or an insult.", Johnny voiced, eyes still closed.

Clay spoke up again. "Okay, so Peter, the brunet one, is their _adopted_ son. Johnny, the blond one that looks like Jensen and Captain America, is just staying here and _isn't_ their kid. I'm getting this right, right?"

Bucky nodded, clicking his tongue. "Yup!"

Suddenly, Thor stood up. "I must leave at this moment, but I assure you that I will be back by tomorrow.", he announced before exiting the room in a hurry, but not before giving Bruce a quick hug, surprising the doctor and the others. "..."

"Hm. Wonder what got his cape in a twist. Why did Mr. Mighty have to leave?", Clint pondered.

Fury shrugged. "Eh. Whatever it is, I'm sure he'll tell us. Now, we have more pressing matters to discuss."

* * *

By the next early afternoon, another night going by normally, the collective larger group was up and at 'em within the den. Furniture was moved, pushed close to the walls while blankets, mats, pillows, and various snacks was laid out around the large empty space. Tony stood in from of everyone counting them. "Alright. 20 peeps accounted for! Got enough snacks, pillows, blankets, remotes-"

"I have a question!", Pooch interrupted.

Tony sighed, flopping his arms down to his sides. "Yes, Canine?"

"Pooch. So what are we doing again?"

Wanda rushed up to the man's side. "It's 'We're Stalling Any Duties We Have' Day. Meaning, we watch movies, cartoons, TV shows, play games, and pig out till our hearts' content! First, we play games!"

"Warning: most of us are very, very competitive. Objects will be thrown, curses will be shouted, and there may be some punches thrown.", Vision winced. Cougar shrugged. "Nothing we can't handle, amigo."

"Yeah! Pooch got shot in the legs before!", Jensen giggled. Pooch glared at him. "And you got shot by Aisha! In that damn arm! After she had sex with Clay!"

"That is not something you share aloud, Pooch! Not something you fucking share!", Clay scowled while Aisha looked pleased. Steve had covered Peter's... and Johnny's ears the moment 'sex' was heard. He had the two squished together, holding his hands against their opened ears.

"Hey! I think we should just... uh... move on.", the blonde suggested, ignoring the pout on his look-alike's face.

"Yeah. Let's get started, shall we?"

* * *

Apparently starting off the relax session with Monopoly wasn't wise. They haven't gotten to the second round before...

"FUCK THIS GAME!"

"OH MY THOR!"

"FUCK IT! FUCK IT! FUCK IT ALL! HOW THE FUCK DID I GET A 'GO TO JAIL' CARD?! HOW?!"

At the moment, Rhodey and Natasha was desperately trying to calm down Tony, who had actually flipped over the table with the game on it. Pieces flew everywhere! Even the little dog landed in Bruce's hair... which resulted in Bucky and Sam to escort him out the room before he Hulked out.

Johnny and Peter were silently munching on some chips, amused by the whole situation. "And my sister wanted me to stay here and learn to behave?", the fire starter sassed. Swallowing down another chip, the brunet spoke. "I'm just as confused, but entertained as you."

"Stark, if you don't calm the fuck down I will tase the shit out of you!", they watched Natasha threatened, pulling out a taser and clicking it on. Tony instantly calmed down. "Sorry..."

"Know what? How about something else? What about karaoke or a video game?", Clay deadpanned.

"Ooh! Mortal Kombat, please!", Wade suggested, turning on the television and the Xbox. "Just so you all know, I call fucking Jason!"

"Wade...", Peter warned. Wade just ran to him, kissed him deeply and stole a chip. "I'll be good for you, Petey."

"You girls are right. They are cute.", Aisha agreed, Wanda and Natasha nodded, smiles etched on their lips.

The group settled down, pushing Monopoly in a far dark corner, getting their video game started. As if on cue, a sudden thud was heard outside and a rumble of thunder. "Thor's back.", Vision announced just as Bucky, Sam and Bruce came back into the den. Seconds later, Thor followed in, someone behind him. "Friends! I have returned! And I brought someone with me!"

"Oh? Who, big guy?", Clint questioned.

A golden clad man stepped from behind Thor, arms crossed. Roque did a spit take on the beer he was drinking, narrowly missing Cougar, Jensen and Pooch. "No fucking way!"

Realizing what he was freaking about, the others started to react. "Holy shit! Guess Steve isn't the only one who's been duplicated, huh?", Pietro teased.

Heimdall stepped up, removing his helmet. "Duplicated?"

"Yes. Steven here has two others that look just like him. As do you. I knew that when I saw the one called Roque that he reminded me of someone. Heimdall, it appears that you also have a look-alike!", Thor answered, noting over to Steve, Johnny and Jensen then to Roque. Heimdall's eyes widened. "Ah... it appears so."

"That's why you left. To show Heimdall his 'twin'. Hmm. It seems that eve through different worlds, people could look alike.", Bruce chuckled lightly, drawing the hammer wielder's attention. Thor smiled fondly at him.

Aisha crossed her arms, speaking up next. "What's next? I'm going to have a twin, too?"

"Well, actually, Lady Aisha, not took long ago we met a group known as the 'Guardians of the Galaxy.", Thor started before Sam laughed. When everyone looked his way, he waved them off, blushing. "Sorry. Just thought of a joke. Continue."

"Anyways, they happened to have a woman within their group who looked and sounded like you. Of course, they're always... how do you say it?... 'on the move'?"

"Right!"

The sole woman of the Losers could only blink. She settled down on some pillows. "Hm. Well, then... YOINK!"

"Hey!" Jensen pouted seeing that she now held the controller in her hands. "I was going to play!"

"Too late!"

"Clay, get your girlfriend!"

"Hey, whatever she wants. Jensen, you obviously forgot she shot you in the shoulder... and attempted to cut off your fingers just last week.", Clay reminded, a grin added. The blonde huffed, crossing his arms. Clay was right. Aisha gets violent when she wants... even if it highly unnecessary. "Fine. In the meantime..." Cougar was taken by surprise when his boyfriend jumped into his lap, nuzzling him like an attention-wanting kitten. "Cougar, love me!"

"I do already, mi amor.", the sniper voiced, wrapping his arms around the other's waist. Steve and Tony exchanged looks before the brunet of the two grinned like the infamous Cheshire Cat. "You know... you don't have to have a mirror to know what you look like purring and cuddling against me."

"Why do I love you again?", Steve sighed. Tony grabbed his hands, pulling him close. Their faces were inched together, leaving just centimeter's of room between their noses.

"Because I'm charismatic, funny, handsome, intelligent and the only one who can complete you."

"I'll let you believe that, my love. I'll let you believe that."

* * *

During the next few days, became a little hectic for the enlarged household. Steve, Jensen and Johnny found just confused the others became when one was alone or just two. With three Steves... or Johnnys... or Jensens... running about the place, it became one hell of a marathon for them all.

Example?

One afternoon, Clint and Pietro was chilling in the den, both cuddled on the couch while engaged in small talk. All of a sudden, Steve walks in. Or who they thought...

This one wore white socks, blue jeans, hugging his legs, waist and ass nicely and a deep blue tee that shown off his physique in ways that Tony... or Cougar... thought was sinful.

For sure, they didn't know who it because just two days before than Steve got another haircut, reason unknown, so he rocked the same style as his look-alikes. They took a guess it was either Johnny or Steve because Jensen wore glasses. Then again, they found out he wore contact lenses when needed. Also, he shaved, so all three of them _definitely_ looked exactly alike.

"Hey, guys.", the blonde greeted, picking up a book before walking out again.

The couple blinked, glanced at each other and then at the direction 'Steve' gone into. "Hm... Steve? Johnny? Or Jensen?", Clint questioned. Pietro replied with a shrug. "Not sure, my little hawk."

Few seconds later, another walked in. Icing on the cake? He wore the same outfit, but instead of white socks and a blue shirt like Steve #1, this one wore deep red ones and a white tee. He noticed the couple and waved to him. "Hi!", he greeted before picking up some CD from the shelf and walking out. The couple done the same thing again, not sure who it was again. "Strange..."

And for the third time, 'Steve' walked in again. This time, dressed in a red tee and blue socks. And since he wasn't wearing glasses as they would have guessed, they were positive of how clueless they were. Sure, Steve was a quick changer since they had to be, but this could Johnny, Jensen or both playing a trick on them. They don't know. The blonde smiled at them. "Hello.", he softly greeted before picking up a paintbrush laying on the floor and walking out... um... again.

Clint sighed, planting his face against Pietro's chest. "Oh my god, who is who?"

"I'm taking a guess and saying #1 is Johnny, #2 is Jensen and #3 is Steve."

They found out later who was who indeed. Everyone was called down into the fortunate large dining room for their chosen meal of Chinese takeout since no one wanted to cook.

The three blond triplets were missing.

"Friday, can you call the Three Blond Hotties down here?", Tony requested.

Minutes later, they arrived, dressed as they were before. Everyone else blinked, baffled and shocked. "Damn. You're playing some fucking game on us, huh?", Roque questioned.

#1 or Blue Shirt nodded. "Yup! Think you can guess which one of us is which?"

"Motherfuckers...", Natasha hissed. Even she was not sure.

They spent the next hour trying to decipher who was who before giving up. The triplets laughed, all three just finishing their noodles. "Man, you guys are hopeless!", #2, or White Shirt teased.

"Agreed. Want the reveal?", #3 or Red Shirt taunted. Peter nodded, head against the table. "Yes, please.", he sobbed.

"Alright."

#3 slipped on his glasses. Pietro stood. "How?! You acted more like Steve when I saw you earlier! You even picked up a paintbrush which is Steve's thing!"

"Yup, I sure did.", Jensen smiled. "Now can you figure out who's Blue Shirt and White Shirt?"

"No. Please just tell us.", Rhodey whined. Blue raised his hand. "I'm Steve." And then White Shirt raised his hand. "And I'm Johnny. You know if you would have felt my skin, you would have known it was me."

"Eh. It would have less fun. Anyways, Steve, Johnny, how come you decided to play another prank on us?", Wanda asked.

"We noticed how confused you guys got, so we set this up.", Steve giggled. "And I have to say it's all worth it."

"Brother Steven, you're just as deceitful as my brother.", Thor deadpanned. "How cold."

"I know. I know. Sorry, but it was still fun."

"Oh, know what? You should go out in public and see how people react.", Bucky suggested.

Everyone grew frightened at the smirks the three gotten, each pair of blues sparkling in mischief.

* * *

The following morning, the triplets met in the kitchen, all woken up and still clad in PJs. Steve looked in the fridge, noticing food was running low. "Hm. I got to go shopping later. You guys want to take up Bucky's suggestion and got out with me?"

"Duh!"

"Of course!"

Steve laughed, knowing that once they left the Tower, heads were going to turn and cameras would be snapping. Then again, his relationship is already public, this couldn't be worse. After all, ever since that secret was revealed, girls and guys have been begging the two to kiss for a picture whenever they were together. He even started seeing Stony shirts of all kind.

"Alright. Meet me in the downstairs lobby within an hour and a half."

After a quick breakfast of coffee and toast, the blondes headed to their individual rooms, undressed, got in the shower, washed, rinsed, got out, groomed, made out with their boyfriends except Johnny, and got dressed. They did meet at the designated lobby, and immediately took noticed on what they each adorned.

"Hm. We just don't look the same, but we kind of have similar dress codes and thoughts.", Steve mentioned.

Johnny nodded. "Oh this is gonna be great. People are seriously going to flip out. I was supposed to be taking manner lessons from Cap! And here I am! Messing with people's minds with him!"

"Coolest thing ever...", Jensen cooed.

Each of the three blondes wore jeans, matching shoes and tee shirts that spoke their personality. Johnny's was a midnight black tee with fiery red bold letters that read, 'In my defense, I was left unsupervised'. Jensen's was a neon yellow tee with turquoise letters that read, 'Weird is an side effect of awesome'. Steve's was just as you expected to be. A deep blue with red and white letters that literally, kid you not, said, 'All American Boss'.

"Come on, we have to get to the store fast because once they wake up and find there's barely food, they're going to start eating each other.", Steve voiced, leading the two to the garage where their vehicles was held.

* * *

Brown, round eyes opened to lighter ones pouring into his. Peter yelped, sitting up in surprise and almost leaping onto the ceiling. "Holy shit! Wade, come on!", he whined, realizing it was his crazy ass boyfriend. The Merc with the Mouth was grinning, laying on the shared bed on his stomach with his chin was planting his hands. "Sorry, my spider. You just look so cute sleeping."

"Thank you, but please stop watching me like that.", Peter begged, slipping out the bed, pulling down the oversized sweatshirt he slept in. "That's just creepy."

"Oh please, I've done creepier. Besides, I'm so positive your father does the same to your pops. I bet you."

"Yeah, yeah." Peter leaned over to Wade and planted a chaste kiss to his lips. "I just love your silliness."

"Same, babe. Same."

The couple got dressed for the day and headed for the kitchen. The moment they turned the corner to the hall where the kitchen was, they heard growls and curses. And a girlish scream that had to come from one of the male members of the odd family. Entering, they spotted Wanda holding Pooch up in the air with her magic, the male holding an orange in his hand while whimpering. Vision was trying desperately to get her to stop. Everyone else looked pretty entertained. Thor was even munching on his Poptarts like popcorn at a movie. "Holy cheese, what the fuck is going on?!", Wade questioned.

"Pooch got Wanda's orange and refused to give it up.", Natasha deadpanned, Aisha and Cougar nodding. "We're kind of low on food right and seeing that Steve and his 'clones' isn't here, he probably went to the store."

"Ah."

"Hey, listen, powerful witch girl you! Please put me down! I promise I'll give you the orange!", Pooch pleaded, holding out said fruit to her. Wanda immediately grabbed it, letting her grip on Pooch go. The ex-soldier landed on the table. "Ow! Shit!"

"I bet your wife won't believe what just happened to you.", Clay laughed. Pooch glared at him. "Shut the hell up."

* * *

Eyes couldn't help but follow the trio as they wandered about each aisle, picking up many food products and other items, placing them in the three carts they had. Steve, Johnny and Jensen were aware of the murmurs and glances. It amused them.

"Hey, is there a specific kind of milk you guys usually get?", Jensen asked, observing each kind of milk, trying to ignore the little girl taking pictures of him.

"Mom! He looks like Captain America!" She gasped, blinking. "Are they triplets?!"

"I don't know, honey.", the mom answered, just as baffled as her daughter.

Steve chuckled. Yeah, this was too awesome. "Grab chocolate milk, whole and fat free."

"Gotcha, Cap!" Jensen, in his usually cheerful nature, grabbed the gallons of milk and placed them in his cart. The three headed for the pastry area, where they found one of SHEID's agents there. Rene had looked up from the cupcakes he was eying before spotting them. "Oh, morning, Captain Rogers. Hello, you two.", he greeted when they were close enough.

"Rene, you can drop the 'Captain Rogers'. I'm off duty.", Steve smiled. "But it's good to see you. What brings you to here?"

"Mom's having a little party later. I see you three are catching a lot of attention.", the agent teased, noting to the group of ogling girls and guys snapping pictures of the blondes. Johnny shrugged. "Eh. Used to it. But we're having fun."

"I see."

"Excuse me?"

The four turned around at the feminine voice. Much to their shock, there was three identical girls in front of them. Each had dark blue eyes and red hair similar to Natasha's. Each of them was petite like dolls, but tall. And although they were physically alike, their dress code gave away their differentiating personalities. One was dressed in a dark blue tank, black jeans, boots and accessories to match. Another adorned a dark mauve evening dress, short sleeved and met to her knees, silver heels and silver bracelets and earrings. The last wore a magenta cropped hoodie with a black and white '88' on it, black sweatpants and white sneakers.

"Um... hi? Can we help you with something?", Jensen questioned.

"Well, we're positive many have probably asked or even thought about it, but are you guys triplets? Like when did Captain America get two look-alikes? ", the sweatpants triplet asked.

"No, we just look alike. But are you guys triplets?", Johnny asked.

"Yup.", the dark clad one deadpanned. "Marie, Katherine and Sid is our names."

"I'm guessing you're Marie, aren't you?"

"Yup."

"Ah."

The one in the dress stepped up. She held out her hand for a polite shake. "I'm Katherine. It's a pleasure to meet you.", she smiled shyly. Steve shook her head. "Oh, same to you, miss." He noticed the ring on her finger. A wedding ring. "I meant... missus. Are you married?"

Katherine nodded, withdrawing her hand. "Yes, I am. Happily married for five years now. My wife and I just moved here just after my sisters did."

"Wife?", Rene pondered. Katherine blushed. "Yeah. I'm married to a woman. I don't look it, do I?"

"Honestly, I never judge one's sexuality from their physical appearance. But that's sweet that you're married."

"Yeah. Besides, Cap here looks like a lady's man, but he's dating a man. Johnny looks like a Casanova and he's single!", Jensen agreed.

Sid gasped. "Oh yeah! Not too long, your relationship with Tony Stark became public. Congrats!"

"Thank you.", Steve chuckled nervously, blushing.

"You two are quite cute together. You know you have fulfilled every fan's dream of the ship sailing, right?"

"Oh, we're well aware of that."

"I bet. Hey, can we get a picture with you guys?"

"Of course!", Jensen cheered happily as Marie pulled out her phone. "By the way, is your name just Sid or it's short for something?"

"It's short for Sidney, but I prefer Sid. Just goes with my persona."

Rene had gotten Marie's phone and started pictures once the two trios were ready. He wanted to laugh when they decided to do one picture like a standoff. When it was finished, they started to part ways. "Thank you for the pictures. And it was such a pleasure meeting you, again.", Katherine smiled.

"Same to you. Be sure to send those pictures to me."

"I will."

Rene and the blondes continued on, grabbing some cupcakes before heading to the check-out like. "I can't believe that. You guys should totally do that more often.", the agent teased as they went out the store.

"Oh, we definitely should. After today, I have a feeling many people are going to start walking up to me and ask, 'Which one are you?' That would be a riot.", Jensen laughed.

"Same. Sue is going to have a field day with me after this. Next time we go out in public, people are probably going to stop and ask her if she's aware she's related to Steve or something.", Johnny agreed.

Steve could only shake his head, still amused by the whole ordeal.

* * *

They were relieved that the Tower was still intact when they got back. They found their companions in the kitchen, all of them just sitting there and staring at each other. Well... except for Clint and Pietro. They were in a nearby vent, cuddling and kissing. But because food was on their mind, no one paid mind to it.

"We're back!", Jensen announced, placing three bags down on the countertop before planting a kiss on Cougar's lips. "Miss me?"

"Si, I did.", the sniper grinned, taking the tech by the waist and dipping him to kiss him passionatey.

Steve and Johnny went up to Tony and Peter. "You won't believe what happened to us?"

"Judging by all the tweets, blogs and even videos I caught on my stream, I think I have a clue, my sweet Cap.", Tony teased. Peter chuckled. "How many asked if you were triplets?"

"Not many, but we did met triplets that asked us. Look alike, but acted differently.", Johnny answered. "I swear the one in the dress, Katherine, was you in female form, Stevie."

"You know what? You're right. Marie was definitely you."

"And Sid was..."

"Jensen.", the two finished, sparing a glance at the said tech who was happily enjoying his time in his boyfriend's arms.

"So you were at the store, right?", Aisha questioned. The three nodded. "Well, I hope you picked up some oranges. Pooch almost died over one."

"Yeah!", said man hissed. Wanda rolled her eyes, eating a slice of the fruit she went crazy over.

"We did. Wanda likes her oranges as much as Thor loves his Poptarts.", Steve shrugged.

"Oh, you warned us about the Poptarts, but not the oranges?", Roque sassed. Wanda threw a peel at him. "Hey!"

"Quiet you!"

* * *

After a few more days have passed, the Losers decided it was time to part ways. Besides, it was time to see their families since Jensen's niece had a soccer game coming up. And hopefully he doesn't attempt to jump the refree again.

SHIELD had sent over a spare vehicle large enough for them since their last one got pretty fucked up. The group of six was all packed, ready to bounce and giving their farewells. "Well, we really appreciate you letting us staying at your tower.", Clay thanked, shaking hands with Tony.

"It was no problem. You guys should definitely come back again."

"Oh, we plan to! Right, Cougar?", Jensen giggled, placing his arms around said man's neck. The brunet just patted his arms and then his butt in response.

Peter stepped up. "It was kind of weird, but cool at the same time seeing three of my Pops around the Tower."

"Very much.", Sam agreed, nodding with Bucky.

Roque sighed. "For once in my life, I was pretty freaked out. I mean having one Jensen is enough. But _three_? Thankfully, you guys weren't as bubbly as he is."

"Did you just say 'bubbly'?", Aisha taunted, crossing her arms.

The knife expert just growled at her before jumping in the black sleek van. Clay laughed. "Classic Roque. Anyways, we better get going."

"You do that.", Clint voiced as the rest of the others piled in after placing their stuff in. Jensen had suddenly jumped out and glomped both Johnny and Steve. After a few seconds, he ran back into the vehicle before it drove off. The heroic group waved after them, watching them disappear down the street. When they were gone, they headed back in.

"So how you think your sister's going to act with those pictures online?", Rhodey asked Johnny.

The blonde shrugged. "Probably flip out, Reeds calms her down, Ben crack a few jokes. Nothing I can't handle."

* * *

And as he expected, Susan did flip out. But it wasn't as bad as he thought.

"So you're telling me that there's _another_ one of you?", Ben asked. Steve and Johnny nodded. "Yup. He was really fun. I like him.", his brother-in-law answered. "A damn good tech, too. He should definitely work for SHIELD. Hell, even for Stark's company."

"Johnny, I let you stay here to learn to not... cuss so much.", Susan reminded.

"Hey, that's hard to do with Wade, Tony and Bucky around."

"Stark's believable.", Reeds added in, earning a quick glare his way.

"I can't... whoa... three Steves... Johnnys... doesn't matter. That is so weird.", Ben voiced, still trying to comprehend the whole thing.

"It was pretty funny.", Peter giggled, him and Johnny looping arms like close friends or brothers. Wade couldn't get jealous over it. He thought it was adorable seeing how both of them look content. But not like 'lovers'. He knew when Peter was attracted to someone or when someone was attracted to Peter. Oh, he _knew_. That's why there was that one week some guys went missing and found tied upside down from a streetlight. Including one of Peter's schoolmates that goes by 'Flash'.

Susan just exhaled, giving a small smile afterwards. "You know what? At least you had some fun, Johnny. Anyways, we got a science expedition to attend to in two days. You ready to go back home?"

Johnny nodded. "Yeah. But I will be coming back.", he said, directing the last bit to Peter. He didn't just have fun with Jensen and Steve. Peter was like the little bro he never got. Besides, he loved his family, but he wouldn't mind the webslinger's company once in a while. At least he wouldn't try to freeze him.

Minutes later, the family of four left the Tower, leaving the Avengers. The remaining peeps settled down, breaths escaping. "These past few days were like some comical science romance film.", Natasha sassed. "It would make quite a movie."

Clint nodded. He glared Steve's way. "You didn't have to spook us out... again."

"Hey, when the chance comes, I take it.", the other blonde smirked. Bruce mockingly gasped. "It's official! Tony, you have corrupted our poor Stevie!"

Tony shook his head. "Oh no. That honor for giving Steve a mischevious side would go to Loki. Speaking of whom, Thor, was he in Asgard?"

"He was. He says he'll be back soon. For now, last time I seen my brother, he was enjoying making an ice castle for mother. They're calling it their 'sanctuary'."

"Honestly, that felt like a Frozen joke, but not so much.", Rhodey admitted.

The others just waved it off, ready for another day.

* * *

 **Alright, so a mega-crossover chapter, huh? Yup. Anyways, what you think? Like it? Hate it? I never really attended for this chapter to take so long to write but I had to do one with Jensen in it. He was my favorite Loser. Cougar is another. I find it funny though how the first thing you see in the movie was an American Flag then Jensen shows up. Foreshadow, much? Wait... did... did the movie come out before CA 1 or after? Don't know, don't care. That was just a teasing scene.**

 **Honestly, I think we need more stories with Steve, Johnny and Jensen. I read a couple before and I liked them. And yes... The Losers is a DC movie.**

 **(1) - I actually wrote this part before 'Doctor Strange' came out. And I must see that movie! Must see it! It's actually pretty funny how RDJ and Benedict played Sherlock and Marvel heroes. I found this one meme/comparsion chart, and how acurate it was.**

 **(2) - I grew up on this show, okay? Mister Rogers' Neighborhood was like one of those shows for me that I can't forget because I learned from it. Like Reading Rainbow. And Between the Lions. That show is actually pretty fucking weird. But what show isn't?**

 **Anyways, review, favorite, and should I do another DC/Marvel crossover chapter or even a separate story? Shall I ever find a brand of Pocky I will** _ **hate**_ **? I actually haven't tried that many flavors and that was pretty random... yeah...**


	16. Power Switch

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Look, if I owned any of Marvel, I'd be hella rich right now. I just own any OCs.**

 **Notes: I know this has been done before, I know. And I also know you have no idea what I'm talking about, but just bear with me.**

 **Warnings: Damn warnings... that never change... at all... Now unless you have a problem with powers being switched or whatever then there's a warning for you. Otherwise, you're not reading this story (even though you seem to have came across the** _ **16th**_ **chapter) because of male on male relationships, weirdness, cussing, violence, mature content, etc.**

 **Now... *clears throat* I got the magic in me! I got the magic, baby! Every time I update a chapter you hurry to read it! Hurry to read it!**

 **Yeah, I got to lay off those parody videos.**

* * *

Chapter 16 - Power Switch

"In the arms of the angels! Far away from here!"

"Shut up, Falcon!"

"Sorry..."

At the moment, the Avengers was occupied with yet another villain. Who this time? Some low grade guy dressed in a lab coat and funky glasses. He had set up a machine on top of one of the building. It was glowing red and whirring uncontrollably. It looked like it was set to explode, but the guy wouldn't let them near it. As if he could for long.

He actually had minions that was using nearby people as pawns to distract the heroes, but it wasn't going to work. Spider-Man, Deadpool, Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch was on top of the building, ready to kick the dude's ass.

"Alright, you son of a bitch! Cut off that machine right now!", Quicksilver ordered.

"Or you can have your mind fucked with or swords down your throat!", Deadpool growled, pulling out his katanas as Scarlet Witch's hands began to glow.

"My mind is already fucked up! And soon will everyone else's be! When I press that button, everyone within this city will have their thoughts switched with someone else's!", the weirdo-science guy cackled. Scarlet Witch rolled her eyes sighing. "No one has time for this! Spider-Man!"

"On it!"

The webslinger effortlessly webbed the scientist up from head to toe before tossing him to a passing War Machine. Scarlet Witch walked up to the machine and pressed her hand on it. "Hm. I can disable it without any dangers.", she said before inhabiting the machine with her magic. Her twin nodded. "Alright. Disable it, sis."

"Already half way there."

While she was occupied with that, the others busied themselves with controlling the minions. "Hulk, smash 'em!", Iron Man called from above, shooting five of the minions right off a car. Hulk had busy forcing two minions together, making them collide and hit against each other. He threw them down like broken toys and jumped up, landing on a pile of unprepared minions. "AAAAHHHH!"

"Victory!", Hawkeye giggled, shooting explosive arrows. He looked up and spotted two minions climbing up on the building where the machine and his teammates were. "Hey!" He shot an arrow, hitting one of the minions, but the other escaped.

This one had took Scarlet Witch by surprise and tackled her. That resulted in the broken machine to act funny, making noises that no machine shouldn't make. Spider-Man gasped. "Holy shit!"

"That thing's about to explode!", Deadpool he hollered, grabbing his younger boyfriend. Quicksilver grabbed his sister after throwing the minion over the edge and running off the building just as the machine exploded. Waves of energy of it had lightly touched them before they were caught by the Winter Soldier and Captain America. Thor landed on the ground, holding both Deadpool and Spider-Man. Well, holding Deadpool while he held Spider-Man. "I caught them!", the thunder god announced proudly. Cap placed Scarlet on her feet, noticing her lightly glowing around the skin before it disappeared; same thing happening with Quicksilver. "Hm. You two feel okay?"

"Just fine. A little dizzy, but okay.", Quicksilver answered as the others gathered up.

"SHIELD is arriving in a few minutes tops.", Black Widow voiced.

The mad scientist growled, still in webs and still being held by War Machine. "No! My plan was flawless! Flawless! But as always, you fuck-ups ruined it! Ruined it!"

"Oh shut up!"

Webs now covered his mouth. "He was talking way too much."

* * *

After two hours, all that could be heard was...

SLAM!

"Stark, get back here!"

"Tony, Tony! Honey, please!"

"Dad, come on! Everyone else has to do it, too!"

"No! Hell no! I'm not writing another report! What's the point?!"

"It has to be documented, Stark!"

At the moment, the Avengers had been assigned to give simple reports of the incident, but as usual, Tony didn't want to and started acting like a child. Pietro would have, too, but he gave up on that a long time ago. Also, he was started to feel a little funny. So, he took to watching Steve, Peter, and Nick force Tony back inside the room. It was easy since Steve just throw his boyfriend over his shoulder. For once, it was the blonde carrying the brunet... still puzzles them as to how Tony carries Steve sometimes without the suit.

"Steve! Baby, please put me down!" The leader of the team didn't respond verbally, just with putting Tony in his chair. "Babe, I don't want to- Mmphf!" The billionaire engineer was silenced with a simple kiss... well, a heated, passion filled one. When their mouths were disconnected after a while, Steve smirked, running a finger down Tony's face to the middle of his chest. "Tony, honey, all you have to do is write a couple of sentences. That's all.", he cooed while his boyfriend looked completely in love... lust... love... either way goes.

The others was quite amused, except Peter who didn't want to see his adopted parents like that. Instead, he took to finishing his report... facing the window.

"Just a couple?", Tony sighed, still completely dazed.

Steve nodded. "Just a couple." He added a flutter of his baby blues and flawless eyelashes for good measure. Seconds later, a pen was flying across a colored yellow paper. The blonde giggled, kissing Tony's cheek before stepping back. "I just love how I can make him bend to my will.", he lightly teased. Bucky chuckled. "Yeah. Must be nice."

"Oh, as if Sam doesn't do the same to you."

At the mention of his name, Sam grinned. "Damn right I do. Don't I, _James_?"

Bucky shivered at the way his boyfriend moaned his first name. Yup, like Tony, he was a total whipped sucker.

* * *

After the briefing, the Avengers went back to the Tower. Wanda and Pietro was barely in the den for a couple of seconds before they collapsed on the couch. Vision and Clint glanced at each before looking back at the twins, concern for how dizzy and tired they looked. "Pietro, sweetheart, are you feeling alright?", the archer asked, taking the speedster's side and placing a hand on his forehead. Pietro grabbed his hand and pulled him close enough to cuddle in his chest. "Better now."

Vision couldn't even utter a word before Wanda jumped him, nuzzling his neck while wrapped around him like a snake. "Same here."

"Alright, I think you two need to go lay down in your rooms.", Natasha suggested. Pietro whined, pulling Clint in his lap and using him like a teddy bear. Clint could only blink. "Do we have to move? I'm quite comfortable where I am."

"Pietro, I think it's best if you moved to your room.", Bruce advised, using his 'doctor tone'. The speedster pouted, but got up, nonetheless, carrying Clint with him effortlessly. Wanda was still attached to Vision. "Vis, carry me to my room!", she demanded cheerfully, still feeling as if she was having an out of body experience. Vision sighed and rolled his eyes, but he complied to his girlfriend's request. It was for the best before she decided to do something stupid.

* * *

The following morning had started with heavy footsteps towards the kitchen. Wade had been the first to wake up, after opening his eyes to see his adorable, cinnamon roll of a boyfriend snoring lightly like a kitten. He had walked into the kitchen, in the mood for leftovers. As he heated up the food, the others started to pile in, some already showered and ready to start the day. He noticed how Pietro and Wanda looked bright and at 'em unlike yesterday. But something was definitely off.

"Hey, Speedy, Eastwick. You feeling okay?" (1)

Wanda nodded, grabbing a mug out the cabinet. "Oh, just fine. I feel like I want... burn off this extra energy."

"I have an odd urge to lift things and move my hands.", Pietro admitted, not caring for the odd looks he got.

"Hm. Well, at least you're doing better.", Rhodey voiced.

The twins nodded. "Yup!"

"That's great to hear. Thor, can you... oh no..." Turning, Steve had accidentally knocked over a bowl he was using to mix pancake mix in. Everyone expected for Pietro to run forward in his abnormal speed, but instead of a blue streak, it was a _red_ one. Wanda's feet led her across the room, much to her shock. The others were just as baffled as to see a hot red streak fading off her. Also, that the bowl wasn't levitating by the usual red glow. This one was _blue_. Pietro was standing stiff, hands out in front of him, glowing an icy blue as the same as the bowl. His eyes were even glowing. His mouth opened and closed, unable to make up any words.

"Um... uh..."

"What just happened?", Tony whisper-shouted. And really, no one had an answer.

After a while, Natasha snapped her fingers. "Family meeting now." The group gathered in the den for a quick family meeting. Pietro and Wanda was sitting on the loveseat, the female half bouncing her legs while the older twin watched as blue wisps danced around his fingertips. "This... is rather strange.", he murmured.

"No shit, really? Your powers got switched somehow!", Bucky exclaimed.

"Pietro, I know you had to always had the urge to run. I do.", Wanda said before standing up and taking off to the other side of the room. The others blinked seeing that the female Maximoff was really giddy with joy at the moment. "Damn.", Tony muttered.

"Pietro, how long would it take you to run from New York to Florida and back?!", his sister asked excitedly. Pietro shrugged. "Never really tried."

"Well, I'm gonna!"

Before she could take off, Steve grabbed her. "No, you're not, young lady!", he scowled, carrying her back to the loveseat and setting her down. "You're not going to Florida... at least not on foot. We have to get this sorted out.", he reminded. Wanda pouted. "Phooey."

"We don't want to damage anything yet, do we now?"

The twins shook their heads. Steve smiled. "No, we don't. For now, you two should try to control your powers until we can figure out what caused you to switch powers."

"Well, at least HYDRA doesn't have us locked up this time. So it could be easier.", Pietro sighed, standing up. Tony picked up a vase. "Hey, Pietro! Catch!", he shouted, throwing the vase. Pietro raised his hands to catch it, but the vase stopped halfway, glowing blue around its surface. Pietro glared at Tony from around the floating object. "You asshole!"

"Doesn't matter if it broke. I could pay for another one.", the brunet laughed, shrugging. Peter rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. "Dad, that wasn't nice though."

Tony just waved him off.

Sam flicked his forehead before addressing the others. "Should we inform Fury about this?"

"No! We should surprise him next time we see him.", Natasha laughed. "The look on his face would be awesome."

"You're gonna have to change your names, too. Maybe... Silver Witch and Quick Scarlet?", Rhodey suggested.

Pietro immediately protested. "No! I'm not having 'Witch' in my codename!"

"What's wrong with that?", Wanda hissed crossing her arms. Pietro held his hands in defense. "Nothing, sis. Nothing. I'm a dude. That's why I don't want to use it."

"Some guys use 'witch'.", Wade voiced.

"Still not using it."

"Well, we're going have to use some name for you. We can't use your real names.", Clint said. Pietro glanced his way. Suddenly, he got a really wide grin on his face. The others watched as their archer was suddenly lifted into the air, brought over to the male Maximoff, and placed his lap. "Pietro...", Clint whined as arms went around his waist. "I don't think I would mind having my sister's powers for a while.", he chuckled, rubbing his nose against the other blonde's. The archer blushed as their lips inched closer.

Thor spoke up. "Maybe Loki can switch back their abilities?", he suggested. Bruce thought about it. "Yeah. That could work. First, we should try to fix this ourselves. Wanda, Pietro, you two think you can handle not causing chaos for a while? We don't know how long this will last."

"Sure thing, Dr. B!", Wanda giggled, standing up and running out. Seconds later, she came with an apple juice in her hand. She sipped on it like a little kid, amusing Vision. "You're too adorable sometimes.", he teased, placing an arm around Wanda's shoulders. She nuzzled in his chest. "I can't help it."

"We can see that.", Sam cooed. "Right, Bucky?"

"She's not the only one.", the brunet answered back before kissing his boyfriend's cheek.

* * *

The next three days was spent by the twins getting used to their powers. It was easier this time around since they had each other, their teammates and HYDRA didn't have them hostages as experiments. That time was long forgotten since the memories weren't all icing and cake.

Pietro gotten use to reading minds and lifting things. Wanda was able to control the excessive energy. And in doing so, the twins used their switched powers to their advantages. Wanda had stolen many kisses and gropes from Vision and Pietro enjoyed lifting Clint and keeping him in his blue, magical grip. In this instant, Clint and Vision were victims.

But it's not like they _didn't_ like it. The Maximoffs were always affectionate, but in their own ways.

And it was quite entertaining to the others.

Seeing Vision becoming redder than he normally is at the moment was worth all the paperwork in the world. He was continuously begging Wanda to stop speeding and doing what she pleased to him... even though he likes it.

"Wanda, this is highly inappropriate!", he squealed when Wanda stole another grope of his booty. She just giggled like the little imp she was. And her brother was no better. Using his new powers, he kept his hold on Clint so he could nuzzle him freely, loving the blush on the archer's cheeks. "Pietro... please stop it.", he whined, trying to wiggle out of the young man's embrace. Pietro just wiggled his eyebrows and started kissing on the exposed neck. "No. I like where you are, my little hawk. And I'm sure you do, too.", he teased huskily. He snacked his arms around his boyfriend, purring like a panther. Clint let out a surprise yelp when Pietro squeezed his thigh. "Pietro Maximoff! If you don't stop- AH! OKAY! STOP!"

The others could only roll their eyes and turn away.

"And I thought we were bad.", Tony sassed just as the doors to the den opened. It was Maria and her training protege.

The female agent blinked, spotting Clint and Pietro making out while Wanda was jumping up around Vision. "Um... did we come at a bad time?", she wondered, eyeing the two couples. Steve shook his head. "Not at all. Something's wrong?"

"Not really, Captain. Just some files we need Stark to look over.", was the answer as Maria passed Tony a thin folder. "Fury needs you to encrypt those codes from that machine that you guys recently destroyed. He wants it within a week."

"I'll give it to him by tomorrow... don't expect that though. Anyways, how are you two?", Tony asked, dropping the folder onto the nearby coffee table.

"Just fine, Mr. Stark.", Rene answered, spotting a cup floating casually past him. "..."

"Oh, don't mind that. Also, don't tell Fury about this.", Natasha voiced, grabbing the cup and pouring some milk she got from the kitchen seconds ago. "We want to surprise him with this the next time we get a chance or something." Maria and Rene exchanged blank stares before shrugging and looking back at the others. "Alright. If you say so.", the female agent deadpanned. "We don't know about it. Anyways, remember, Stark, files." The duo then walked out, missing Vision yelping from Wanda's sudden assault.

"WANDA MAXIMOFF!"

"I can't help it! You're so sexy, Vis!"

"Did switching your powers also messed with your brain or something?", Rhodey questioned. "Bruce, I think you should check on that."

"I rather not. I'm still running tests on how their powers were switched.", Bruce sassed, shooting a look to Thor who smiled in return.

* * *

When Fury did find out about the Maximoff Twins' situation, his reaction was exactly what they expected.

There was another mission assigned in nearby Philadelphia. Fury decided to send in the Twins, Deadpool and Spider-Man. Of course, there was a few complaints from Steve Rogers and Tony Stark about their son going off without them, but Peter assured them he would be fine. As if Wade would let anything happen to his precious baby, cinnamon roll.

"Remember: sneak in, grab the drive, and get the fuck out. Don't get yourself killed... or at least pretend you can die.", he directed mainly towards Wade Wilson, who just smiled.

"Oh come on, Fury. I'm not that bad!"

"Yeah, sure. " For a moment, the Director of SHIELD wondered why Pietro and Wanda wore clothing that... well, their twin would normally wear. Like her brother normally would, Wanda adorned an athletic stretch shirt (similar to Pietro's shirt), but red, black, with hints of white and silver in color with a V-neck collar. Her bottom half was black stretch pants that was scrunched up at the ankles and white sneakers. Pietro seemed to had raided his sister's closet. He went for a black tee shirt under a blue leather jacket with a high collar (similar to Wanda's red coat), dark jeans tucked into black boots, and even finger-less leather gloves like his sister would have worn.

"Alright, guys. We should get going now. We'll be back in no time, Director Fury!", Peter saluted before boarding the Quinjet, his boyfriend and the twins following him. Fury nodded before he watched the plane took off from the Headquarters. He heard footsteps beside him and already knew who it was. "Go ahead and follow them. But whatever you do, don't fuck this up for him.", he sighed.

Steve squealed in happiness before running off to find his future hubby.

When he was gone, Fury clicked on his walkie. "Agent Hill, I admit that I'm about to do something hypocritical, but I was just wondering what the hell I was thinking when I decided to send in Wilson. So we're following them, too."

* * *

The team of four had reached Philly in a matter of two hours due to Wade's crazy piloting. Thank goodness he didn't crash the Quinjet. (2)

They landed in the forest nearby a base, hidden out of sight when the cloaking device was set on. Peter and Wade had changed, the older in his usual Deadpool suit while Peter adorned a darker version of his suit, specifically made for stealth mode missions.

"So, get the thumb-drive and get out. Without getting killed. Sounds simple enough, right?", Scarlet Witch... or Quick Scarlet voiced as the four ventured out the forest towards the bad guy base. They spotted about three guards at the front entrance. Deadpool smirked. "Hm. I can take care of them.", he volunteered. Spider-Man immediately stopped him. "No. We don't want to cause any alerts."

"We won't if they're dead." Even behind the mask, Deadpool knew round chocolate eyes was glaring at him. "Alright, alright. Fine, babe. I swear you're so like your Pops."

"I might be, but I'm thinking logical about this."

Scanning the area, the youngest noticed a side door that went unguarded. "We can probably get in through there.", he suggested. The other three nodded in agreement before quietly edging towards the gate. Quicksilver... or Silver Witch... Wizard... Know what? Their codenames shall be Scarlet and Silver! Anyways, Silver noticed cameras planted on the tip tops of the gate's poles. Using his magic, he managed to disable them. The four approached closely to the gate, but Scarlet stopped them. "Hm. Something doesn't sit right."

Spider-Man nodded. "I agree. My sense isn't clicking right here." Spotting a leaf, he picked it up and threw it at the gate. A split second later, nature's innocent little leaf was nothing but ashes. "Yup. As accepted, this gate is electric. Think there's a shield, too?"

Deadpool picked up a rock and through it over. Nothing happened. "Hm." He then walked over to Scarlet, lifted her and threw her over. Nothing happened. Over the other side, the female member got up to her feet and glared at the mercenary. "Have you lost your damn mind?!", she silently hissed.

"I have. But I was just checking to see if there was a shield that reacts to people. There are some like that."

"Whatever, just get over here."

Silver used his powers to levitate over while Spidey swung over, carrying his crazy ass boo on his back. The four went over to the metal door, finding it locked. "Hm. Problem. Maybe I could... just..." Silver tried unlocking the door, but it took him forever to try to. Eventually he gave up, turning to his sister. "Okay, one thing I can't do with your powers is unlock doors."

Scarlet giggled. "Good. I got one-up on you."

"I could just pick the lock.", Deadpool voiced. Spider-Man yelped when the older pulled out a gun. "No! We'll just find another way in.", he scowled. He looked up and spotted a ventilation, huge enough for them to all climb though one at a time. He climbed up the wall to it and pulled out the closing, tossing it down for Silver to catch. He climbed in and sent down a webbed rope. Scarlet grabbed onto it and began to climb up. "Ew. It's sticky."

"Heh heh. That's what-"

"Wilson."

"Sorry."

* * *

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"I guess it was nothing if you didn't hear it."

"You really shouldn't watch those horror films the night before working, John."

"You're right! I shouldn't. Besides, I- AAH!"

"HEY! THAT'S-"

SMASH!

The unconscious guards fell to the ground, knocked out from a blow from Cap's shield to the head. Good thing they were wearing helmets. The super soldier loomed over them with a hard glare. "Fucking bastards."

A landing soft thud was heard next to him. "I just love it when you're feisty and angry like that.", Iron Man teased, grabbing the blonde by his waist. He pulled him close enough to plant a kiss on his lips before closing his helmet down. Cap just rolled his eyes. "I bet. Now come on."

The couple started down the hall, Hawkeye and Black Widow following them.

"I can't believe we're doing this. You know your son is gonna give us all lip later, right?", Hawkeye reminded, keeping his bow at hand for any whacking he had to do.

"Maybe. But we got to make sure he doesn't get himself killed."

"Rogers, you're such a worrywart.", Widow laughed as they rounded a corner. They spotted Fury and Maria.

Maria currently had one of the bad guys in a headlock with one arm. He tried desperately to get out of it, but no dice.

"I heard that.", Fury deadpanned. Cap shot him a look.

"You agreed for us to do this."

"I know, but that doesn't mean I can't agree with Romanoff."

* * *

"Okay, I finished downloading the documents, videos, pictures, and any other files. Which is pretty much everything. Honestly, we should take the laptop, too.", Spider-Man suggested, closing said device and handed it to Scarlet who grabbed a bag for it. Deadpool planted a chaste kiss on the younger's head. "That's why I love you, baby boy. Now let's get out of here."

BOOM!

"AAAAHHH!"

"STARK!"

"HE STARTLED ME!"

The youngest four peeked out the room and looked down the damaged hall. They blinked seeing a huge hole leading to the outside. Spider-Man stepped out as the dust cleared, spotting his adopted parents, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Fury and Hill standing and looking out the hole as an alarm went off.

"What are you guys doing here?!", he screeching, storming towards them.

"Um... Fury sent us?", Cap drawled out.

The teen crossed his arms. "Then why is he here?"

"Ain't no time for stupid questions! We're on high alert now! We got to get the fuck out of here!"

Guards started appearing from either end of the hallway, running at them like rhinos.

"Yup! Time to bounce!", Hawkeye shouted before he shot an arrow with a zip-line and sliding down it. Black Widow followed, then Fury and Hill. Iron Man just carried his boyfriend out bridal style. The other four jumped out the hole, almost caught by the guards. Deadpool had caught Scarlet and placed her on her feet. "Can that count as an apology for throwing you earlier?"

"Just fine."

"Fire, men!", one of the bad guys said. Before the bullets could reach them, Silver held out his hands releasing blue energy and forming a shield to protect the group. Seeing that, Fury blinked his one eye in shock. "How in the hell is he doing that?!"

"Ain't no time for stupid questions!", Black Widow teased. "Yo, Maximoff! Give us an opening!"

"On it!"

The older twin formed a hole big enough for the others to shoot out their own bullets... and arrows. Fury continued to stand there in shock. Scarlet sped over to him and handed him a little black object. "We got the thumb-drive.", she smiled, placing said device in his hand. Fury just looked over here before pocketing the device. "Um... alright, let's get out of here."

* * *

They knew they were all in deep shit the moment they entered SHIELD HQ, but it definitely be worth it. They had to contain any jokes and laughter when Nick Fury walked in, Maria Hill, Phil Coulson and Rene Jadeson following in. Rene and Maria looked guilty as hell, but amused.

Fury planted himself at the end of the long meeting table. For a while, it remained silent, everyone scared to say anything.

Vision was the first to break. "So... Director Fury... how was the mission?"

"Why was I not informed of this?", the Director questioned, quickly catching their undivided attention. Silence again. Fury growled. "Oh, I'm not speaking clear enough, huh? I ask again..."

SLAM!

Everyone jumped from their boss slamming his hands on the table, hard enough to break the surface. "WHY WASN'T I INFORMED OF THOSE TWO SWITCHING POWERS?!"

"It was Nat's idea to keep a secret from you!", Clint ratted out. The redhead glared his way. Clint blushed. "I'm sorry, Tasha. I really am. But I'm scared for my life right now."

The redhead glare softened and she nodded. "Understandable. But yeah. It was my idea. We wanted to know how you would have reacted and yes, it was worth it."

"I bet it was."

"Well, Bruce is working on finding out why their powers were switched.", Bucky added in.

When Fury glanced his way, Bruce yelped with a blush. "Um... that I am, sir. I figured it had to do with the last incident with the mad scientist guy. I found some of the blast's debris on their uniforms from the machine, which was producing some substance including radiation within it."

"What is up with radiation? Why do people like to use it so much?", Sam pondered, getting a shrug from Steve.

Fury sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Alright, alright. You know what? Banner, is if you can find the solution to this."

"Yes, sir."

"Maximoffs, you two better keep your powers under wraps."

"Yes, sir!", the twins saluted, standing up before going to their significant others. Clint blushed while Vision got redder. "In the meantime, so we don't get into any trouble, how about you keep us entertained?", Pietro purred huskily in Clint's ear. The archer shivered, turning his head to look away. "I honestly think switching your powers made you hornier."

* * *

By the end of the week, Bruce came up with the solution for the twins to get their powers back. And he just had to ask one individual.

The assigned doctor found himself approaching a door, Thor's name embedded into it. He knocked on it, waiting for just a moment for an answer. Seconds later, it slid open, revealing the Norse god of the team. Thor looked as if he had a recent shower, his golden locks loose and framing his handsome visage. His skin was slightly red, being revealing from a red muscle shirt that left nothing to the imagination and those jeans! What justice they have done! Bruce found himself blushing, unable to come up with any coherent thoughts at the moment.

"Is there something I could assist for you, Bruce?", he asked kindly, flashing his usual hottie friendly smile. The brunet became lost for words, blushing and blinking.

"Um... um... oh! Right!", Bruce started, snapping out of his trance. "You have any idea where Loki may be? He might have to switch back the twins' powers after all.", he voiced, shyly.

Thor just smiled more, adding in a small nod. "My brother is in Asgard at the moment, but I could get him to help."

"Thank you, Thor. I appreciate it."

Bruce stiffened when the blonde stepped forward and gently grabbed a hold of his chin. His blues met with the slightly smaller deep brown. "Anything for you, Dr. Banner."

The other could only blink and blush harder. "..." He took a step back, clearing his throat. "I should get going.", he muttered, taking off before the god could mutter a word. When he was down the hall, Thor couldn't help but to chuckle at the antics.

* * *

"Alright, what prank shall I partake in this time?"

The group turned to the entrance of the room, finding Loki walking in with his older brother behind him. Steve shook his head. "No prank this time, Loki.", he answered. The God of Mischief pouted cutely. "Phooey. I enjoy pranks with you, Steven. Anyways, what must I help with then?"

"Well, the twins' powers got switched. We were wondering if you could switch them back?", Clint begged, shivering as Pietro nuzzled his neck, keeping him trapped in a blue glowing embrace.

Loki nodded. "Nothing but child's play. Of course, I can!", he smirked, cracking his knuckles and gesturing the twins over. Wanda and Pietro stood in front of him, both a little nervous since this was Loki after all. His scepter gave them powers. What could his magic from his own hands could do? "Alright, just hold hands and close your eyes. I assure you this won't be harmful to your well-being.", he promised. He wasn't lying really. He rather not having any of the Avengers on his ass if anything bad did happen. It took him months for Clint to even look his direction. And let's not get started on Bruce.

A green glow surrounded Loki's hands and then the twins' bodies for a complete of moments. The others watched as red and blue lights revealed themselves before switching places. The glowing stopped, Loki brushing his hands together with a smile. "Okay, you're free to go on."

"Did it work?", Wanda pondered, not feeling any different from before.

Pietro scrunched up his nose in thought. Seconds later, on whim his feet moved... _speeding_ across the room. "It seems to.", he grinned, taking his place back next to his boyfriend. Wanda raised her hands, her appendages glowing their usual red before the incident. "It did work!", she cheered, levitating a vase before gently placing it back down. She squealed and glomped Loki. "Thank you! Thank you!"

Loki just patted her head. "Um... well, you're welcome."

"Is there any way to repay you, Loki?", Bruce asked as Steve covered Tony's mouth. Green eyes looked his way and a grin made way to his face. "No, not really."

"Well, since our powers have been restored, I think it's time for my little hawk and I to retire.", Pietro cooed, speeding over to Clint and lifting him bridal style. Clint growled under his breath. "It's only three in the afternoon, Maximoff." The younger just kissed him in response. "All the more time to do the things I want to you."

The archer turned to his best Bird Bro. "Sam, I beg of you to help me right now!"

Before Sam could retort, Bucky swooped him up with a grin of a predator. "Sorry, Sam's indisposed at the moment."

"James Buchanan Barnes, you asshole!", Sam hollered, trying to jump out of his boyfriend's arms. But he failed miserably since Bucky was using his metal arm. "You're so unfair!"

"Hey, at least I don't have super speed or witchy powers. Then you'll be _really_ in for it. I'll be piledr-"

"OKAY! HOW ABOUT A MOVIE?!", Peter shouted, not caring to hear his uncles' sex lives either. It was bad enough that he had dealt with an increasingly affectionate Wanda and Pietro for their lovers for the past few days. Hearing Bucky? Just shoot him.

* * *

 **(1) - Speedy can be referenced to any fast person or animal, I'm talking about a certain Looney Tunes character, that you can think of. As for Wanda's nickname 'Eastwick' is referring to 'The Witches of Eastwick'.**

 **(2) - Deadpool crashes the jet in his video game. And honestly, it seem like something he would do.**

 **Okay, so I came to the realization that... Marvel has been fucking trolling us for years! Here's how!**

 **Storm and Iron Man were in 'Gothika'.**

 **Iron Man and Hulk were in 'Zodiac'.**

 **Thor and (Avengers) Spiderman were in 'The Heart of the Sea'.**

 **Captain America/Human Torch and Black Widow were in 'The Nanny Diaries'.**

 **Captain America/Human Torch, Gamora and Heimdall were in 'The Losers'... see the previous chapter!**

 **Black Widow, Doctor Strange, Jane, and Spiderman were in 'The Other Boleyn Girl'.**

 **Scarlet Witch and (Avengers) Quicksilver were in 'Godzilla'... and married!**

 **Captain America/Human Torch and Mr. Fantastic in 'Playing It Cool'. The funny jokes that come with that one.**

 **(Avengers) Quicksilver and (X-Men) Quicksilver were in 'Kick-Ass' and as besties!**

 **Captain America/Human Torch and the Ancient One was in 'Snowpiercer'.**

 **I don't know if the movie is out yet, but Mystique and Starlord is in 'Passengers' with the voice of Silver Surfer!**

 **Iron Man and Doctor Christine Palmer was in the 'Sherlock Holmes' films. Which is bananas!**

 **And finally... I kid you not... Iron Man and Ultron were in one old movie together that practically** _ **predicted**_ **the Avengers. I forgot the movie.**

 **But yeah... that's how they trolled us. It's like the actors were like "Let's be in movies together before and after we be in the same superhero universe." Now can anyone prove me wrong? Can you? I'm telling you all we need is for Fox/Sony and Disney/MCU get together and put these characters together. X-Men vs Avengers? I'd watched it. Black Panther and Storm hook up? I'd dig it. Quicksilver and Quicksilver confuse the shit out of Magneto? I'll get laughs. Captain America and Johnny meet? Yes, please! Seriously, bring your companies together and do this. Fuck copyrights! I'm joking about that, but still.**

 **But speaking of special appearances, I got a review about awesome it would be for another Marvel/DC crossover and honestly, I would love to do it. Only thing is I want your opinions on it. Should it be part of 'The Antics of the Avengers' or a separate story? If a separate story, it still would take place of the 'The Antics of the Avengers' setting.**

 **Review!**


	17. Hide 'n' Detector

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Ownership of the random OCs just goes to me. Everything else... I don't own.**

 **Notes: This chapter starts off taking place right after the last one. I got this idea for this chapter from a picture of a post. It was pretty funny because honestly it's true. You'll see what I mean.**

 **Warnings: Again, pretty much the same.**

 **Question! Shall there be a Civil War parody? I already got it all planned out and stuff, I just haven't written it yet. Just want to know if I should and post for you peeps to read. Let me know, PM me, review, whatever, just let me know.**

 **Alright, that's all. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 17 - Hide 'n' Detector

"That movie sucked."

"You're only saying that because you didn't get the message."

"Oh, I got the message, Rhodey. I got the message. It just fucking sucked! It wasn't even scary. Just creepy as shit."

"Tony, is there any horror movie you don't complain about?"

"Yup. Those that haven't came out after 2012." (1)

Peter laughed at that. "Ever notice that horror movies nowadays end on a mysterious ending or a bad one?"

"There so few ones that end on a good note.", Wade agreed. "Say, anyone want to play a game or something? Daylight is still out."

"That's probably why that movie wasn't that scary. Then again, I really don't flinch at anything.", Natasha sassed, standing up and stretching. "But yeah. I can go for a round of a game. Any suggestions?"

"Ooh! Hide 'n' Seek!", Wanda answered, jumping to her feet. "We haven't played that in a while."

Bucky suddenly gotten this really huge grin on his face. Loki was proud, knowing it was a smile that meant he wasn't up to no good. "Let's play that.", he agreed. Sam noticed his smirk, too and wanted to crawl under a pillow.

"Babe, what do you plan on doing?"

"Nothing, my falcon. Nothing at all. Just up for a game of Hide 'n' Seek."

Sam didn't reply, but he was still suspicious.

* * *

After a long 'discussion', they decided that Steve should be the one to seek them out. After counting to 100, the blonde ventured through the Tower, looking for his companions. He didn't take long to find Rhodey, Wanda, Wade, and Pietro.

Rhodey hid in the pantry and somewhat thought it was a good idea to munch _loudly_ on some cookies. He commented he was hungry.

Wanda was giggling in her hiding spot within her brother's room, remembering a joke Natasha told her two days ago.

Wade was hiding in Peter's bathroom. That was a place Steve knew he would hide.

Pietro was the same, hiding in Clint's room, taking the archer's wardrobe as shelter.

The next group found was Thor, Loki, Bruce, Sam, and Natasha.

Thor was found on the roof by Wade, where he took to waiting underneath one of the lounge chairs. Don't even ask.

Loki took Clint's approach and hid in the vents. He would have lasted longer if the heat had clicked on. It was an 'accident' supposedly, but Loki knew one of the seekers asked FRIDAY to do so. He was pissed for sure.

Bruce was found in the lower lobby, hiding behind a large, wide vase. When you walked in, you wouldn't have seen him at first. You had to walk further into the room, which Rhodey was smart enough to do.

Sam was found under Natasha's bed. The fact he was brave enough to hide there was praised. No one would have thought to look there... unless you were Wanda or Wade who was indeed crazy enough to do so.

Said Russian female agent was found in the swimming pool room. She wasn't in the pool, but instead was found in the supply closet by Pietro. She wa engaged on some game on her phone and forgot to turn down the volume which gave her away. The speedster wasn't going to tease her about from the hardened glare she shot him. And he rather have been shot by that than an actual bullet.

* * *

"Alright, so we still have who to find?", Steve asked as the found members gathered in the den.

"We still got Peter, Clint, Tony, Vision, and Bucky.", Sam answered, wondering where his boyfriend could be. When they first went to hide, the Falcon noticed how quick Bucky disappeared. One moment he was standing behind him, next he was gone.

"I can't believe Tony lasted longer than I have.", Natasha sighed, Bruce patting her shoulder in sympathy.

"It's okay, Nat."

"How about we split up in pairs?", Rhodey suggested. "Since there are five people left."

"Good idea. Sam, you're with Natasha.", Steve assigned. The duo nodded.

"We'll look for Bucky."

"Alright. Wade, you're with me to find Peter."

"Aye-aye, Cap!"

"Rhodey, you and-"

"Can I pair up with Rhodey to find Stark?", Loki volunteered.

Steve didn't question it. "Sure."

"We'll go for Tony, then.", Rhodey answered, not minding being paired with Loki. Besides, with Loki it was going to be easier to find the brunet genius.

"Wanda, you and Pietro are paired."

The twins high-fived each other. "Awesome! We're going to look for my little birdie.", Pietro drawled in his accent, coming up with a 'welcoming' he could give Clint once he found him. Wanda giggled, knowing what her brother was up to. Besides, she was ready to get some pictures.

"That leaves Thor and I to find Vision.", Bruce announced, glancing at the blond god who looked pleased as ever. He nodded, snaking an arm around the doctor's shoulders. "Aye! Bruce and I shall partake in this quest!"

"Okay then... let's go find those last five.", Steve voiced before five pairs ran off in different directions.

* * *

"You cheated! I know you did! You had _Loki_ as your partner! You cheated, Rhodey!", Tony complained as he, Rhodey, Loki, Steve, Wade and Peter made way to the den. Rhodey had rolled his eyes, sighing at his long time friend's whining. "Tony, there's no way we cheated. Loki don't have heat sense or anything like that."

The brunet just crossed his arms.

Peter and his adopted father was found in the spacey lab, hiding in two of Tony's Iron Man suits. Steve could have sworn he heard breathing and a curse in the one of the suits when he passed them. Loki had tapped on all of them, finding two of them keeping Peter and Tony.

"Tony, love, don't be so upset. Besides, you outlasted _Natasha_ in hiding. There's something to be proud of.", Steve cooed, trying to calm his boyfriend down. It worked since Tony just smiled and hugged the blonde.

"True. Have I told you I love you?"

"Not that I remember."

"Then, I love you."

The couple shared a chaste kiss before the doors slid open, leading them to the den where everyone else except Sam, Natasha and Bucky was.

"So looks as if Vision and Clint was found.", Peter pointed out, seeing how displeased Clint looked. "Where did they find you?"

"Bruce found me in the storage closet... in the garage.", Vision answered.

"I was found in the gym under the boxing ring. How did you know to look there again?", Clint questioned towards the twins. Wanda and Pietro smirked. That's all.

"Well, that leaves Bucky.", Wade voiced just as Sam and Natasha entered the room.

Before anyone could ask, Sam interrupted. "He's too good at this!"

From the crestfallen expression on Natasha's face added proof. Tony blinked. "So... you didn't find him?"

"Hell no, we didn't find him! It's like he went ghost! Whatever HYDRA taught him they taught him too good! We checked everywhere! From everyone's rooms to the damn outside of the Tower!", Natasha growled, flopping down on the couch. She sighed angrily, blowing her bangs out her face. "Motherfucker..."

"We should look for him then.", Steve voiced.

"How? If Natasha and Sam didn't find him, how are we going to?", Peter asked. Steve smirked. "I got an idea."

* * *

It took an hour and an half, but they ended up finding the Winter Soldier. The group had been following Steve wherever he went. In his hand was a metal detector. It beeped every now and then due to the amounts of metal they passed, but Steve knew what kind of beeping he wanted.

"Steve, we should admit that Bucky is the King of Hiding. We're not going to find him unless he-"

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!

Pietro was interrupted by the rapid beeping of the metal detector. They stopped in front of an elevator. The same elevator used multiple times towards during the game. "Hm. FRIDAY, open the doors, please.", Steve requested. FRIDAY did so, letting the super soldier hottie on. The detector continued to beep like crazy and even got louder. Steve grinned, looking up at the emergency hatch. He climbed up, opened it and went through. And just as he expected...

James Buchanan Barnes was there.

The brunet male frowned seeing that Steve had found him. "How?", he asked in disbelief. Steve shown him the metal detector. "And it's not just any ordinary metal detector. Stark tech.", he grinned, proud of his boo. Bucky growled. "No fair!"

"Well, it took forever to find you. Besides, you're the last one found."

"You're still a fucking jerk for using that shit. Fucking cheater."

"Language, Bucky. Language."

* * *

The group continued to play Hide 'n' Seek for another five rounds. Bucky was still one of the last ones to be found until the metal detector was brought out. Eventually, he got sick of it and came up with a plan.

"So you want to use a metal detector on me? Well, we'll see about that.", he muttered to himself as he went to hide, Thor seeking them out this time.

* * *

It took a total of three hours for everyone, except Bucky, to be accounted for.

"Alright, Steve, time to break out the Bucky Detector.", Natasha said. They decided to name it that, much to said ex-soldier's displeasure.

The group had been led down to the gym where the detector went crazy. "Bucky, we found you!", Clint laughed, moving the mats that was stacked up. Everyone had stiffened at the reveal. They didn't find Bucky. Well... not _all_ of him to say the least.

Right there on the dark tiled floor wasn't Bucky at all. Not a boot, a belt or even a phone. What they found was...

"Uh... did he really just leave his fucking arm?!", Tony hollered in anger.

"That son of a bitch!", Rhodey screamed.

Steve and Sam just stood there, not knowing what else to say. It wasn't long before one of them broke out their shock.

"THAT MOTHERFUCKER!", _Steve_ shouted. "THAT FUCKING TROLLING JERK! HOW HE FUCKING DARE!"

Tony even covered Peter's ears as their mutual family member continued to rant like a maniac. He eventually broke the metal detector. "I CAN'T BELIEVE HE PULLED US IN A TRAP LIKE THIS! DAMN PSYCHO! DAMN LITTLE SHIT! I'M SO KICKING HIS ASS!"

Suddenly, laughter could be heard behind them. They looked up and saw Bucky coming out from one of the ceiling tiles, cackling his ass off. His face was red from it. "Oh my Thor! That's too funny! Ha ha ha ha! Steve... St... Steve, I'm so sorry, but this is so worth seeing and hearing you rant! I never thought you had such a potty mouth!", he wheezed, placing his one single flesh hand on his thigh, bending to catch his breath.

The blonde stormed over to him and nudged him harshly. "Bucky, you're such a fucking jerk!"

"Hey, you used a damn metal detector. I had to get payback. And having you angry at me for however how long is worth it!"

Steve just pouted and exited the room. Sam went up to his boyfriend, giving him his arm back. "Baby, you are a troll, but I love you for it. And I admit, you are the King of Hiding."

"Can this king get his queen as an award then?"

Everyone cleared out the gym once Sam jumped Bucky, declaring Hide 'n' Seek over and maybe banned from the Tower.

* * *

 **(1) - I'm actually indifferent about horror movies that come out nowadays. And yeah, most of the ones I have seen have a bad ending or ends on a opened thought. Now the 'Insidious' movies are fucking scary as shit. Only the first two though. I care not for the third chapter. Now the Freddy Kueger movies and 'Jeepers Creepers', the first one, are still scary to me. I admit though, I got some laughs through those movies.**

 **Ooh! So for those that read 'The Things Nick Banned For Us to Do' (Not a Stony Fic though, but seriously funny), remember in chapter 14 that gives the rules for Phil and Maria at the last rule Steve says, "As the ancient Tibetan philosophy states: don't start none, won't be none."? Well, the movie I got that quote from was from the movie I just did a crossover with. Yup, it was 'The Losers'. And who says it? Jensen! Steve's look-alike! If you knew that, you're just plain awesome. If you didn't... now you know.**

 **Favorite, follow, laugh, smile, dance, love the ships, and review! Review!**


	18. The Feisty Little Spidey

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Disclaimer: *Pouts* You already know I don't own, peeps. You already know! This is the 18th I said that!**

 **Notes: I don't care who Peter is played by, he's just too adorable to me. Just a cinnamon roll you want to protect and hug forever. Just nuzzle him and give him cookies and kisses. Why am I saying this? Oh right!**

 **Warnings: Get ready for a rather... um...** ** _feisty_ Peter. Like **_**craving**_ **for... yeah. Other than that, it's the usual warnings.**

 **I like how in 'Clash of the Titans' (the remake, folks) Hades says 'blessed avenger'. In that movie, there's Io who is played by a woman who plays another female character that was the sister of a guy who is played by the actor who is an Avenger. If you, the first one, can guess what movie, actress, actor and Avenger I'm talking about, I will write a chapter for you!**

* * *

Chapter 18 - The Feisty Little Spidey Went Up the Water Spout

To say the least, school was an absolute drag for Peter Parker. Even if today was Friday. Some issues were the typical teenager's dislikes. The classes went on too long, the teachers were boring, unnecessary bullshit gossip, fights, waking up too early, so on and so forth. But for Peter? Yes, his reasons for not wanting to go to school was the usual complaints, but added on cons was that he didn't get to hang out with his new extensive family.

Some days while there was a test, a new danger to the city could be happening and his adoptive parents and other protective guardians would handle it while he had to read along to a stupid textbook. He hated that he had to keep his Spider-Man identity a secret, but relieved that nobody knew except for those that should know. Weeks ago, he finally told his Aunt May. She was in no doubt pissed he kept such a secret from her, but all the while supportive. She even admitted to figuring it out through 'hints'. Nonetheless, she was his biggest cheerleader.

And speaking of cheerleaders...

"Peter! Over here!"

The brunet looked up from the book he was engaged in, spotted a female classmate of his waving to him, sitting around her was her fellow cheermates. All of them was smiling like Peter was the greatest person in the world. Well...

Peter rolled his eyes, turning back to his book and heading to the courtyard to finish reading. He didn't have to look up to know where he was going since he did have his spidey sense. Passing, he could hear the cheerleaders pout and whine as he passed them.

Lately, he's been catching almost everyone's attention in his school. Why? Well, if you saw him get in _Tony Stark's_ limo one afternoon, you would be suspicious, too. They figured Peter was working with Stark Industries or something of that matter. No one knew he was Stark's adoptive son as well as the infamous Steve Roger's. Not even the school's staff. It wasn't as if he didn't want anyone to know. Mutual for his parents' end. It was just that they didn't want the media to catch whiff of it and then Peter would be treated like royalty of some sort. Paparazzi on his ass? Nope! Autographs wanted? Definitely not! Girls _and_ boys wanting his number and to get into his pants? HELL NO!

One, the Avengers would go on a killing spree on that one. Two, _Wade Wilson aka Deadpool_ would be the leader of said killing spree. His boyfriend was protective of his baby boy and he had every right to be. No one hurts or molests his love and gets away with it! No fucking one!

"Hey, Petey!"

The brunet looked up again and found two girls that he could tolerate waving him over. Mary Jane and Gwen. The two girls were okay with each other, even if they were both Peter's exes. Weird thing about that was after they both dated Peter, they found attraction to each other. Not that Peter minded. In fact, he was all for it!

"Hey, MJ. Hey, Gwen.", he greeted, sitting across from the two, setting his book down.

Mary Jane leaned forward. "So... another call over to eat lunch with them?"

"Yup.", Peter answered, pulling out a packed lunch Steve gave him. It was still hot from the containment it was in. Last night Steve made lasgana, with the _good_ cheese. He gotten the recipe from Aunt May and cooked it just how she taught him. And after one bite even after hours, Peter still loved the taste. "This is heaven."

"From your sex food face, we can tell.", Gwen teased before sipping her juice. Just as Peter's spidey sense went off. There was a sudden crashing through the wall into the courtyard. The teens scattered away, taking cover and glancing about for the source. From behind a tree, Peter could only gulp in shock finding Iron Man and War Machine being held in a huge ass insect's, a bee in fact, violent embrace.

"FUCKING BUGS! WHERE'S A CAN OF RAID WHEN YOU NEED IT?!", War Machine growled, shooting one of the insect's arms off.

"Hang on! I got ya!", a feminine voice shouted. The teens looked up and spotted Scarlet Witch coming down, her hands glowing red. Using her powers, she locked the insect in a statue like hold, giving Iron Man and War Machine an escape.

"Thor, fire that motherfucker up!", Hawkeye shouted, appearing through the hole his teammates crashed through.

"Wait! Some of these kids could get electrocuted! We got to get this bug away from the campus!", Captain America ordered.

By now, the students were recording the whole thing. Seriously?! Move! Scarlet Witch grunted as she lifted the bee into the air. But just as she was doing it, the bee shook, releasing some yellow puffy stuff. Some of it reached Peter before Quicksilver used his speed to create a wind to move it away. The brunet sneezed, shaking a bit while the yellow stuff fell from his hair. "Bless you!" He glanced up, finding Deadpool standing next to him. Peter smiled, knowing his boyfriend was smiling, too. "Thanks."

"You should move, baby boy. Don't want your pretty ass to get hurt, do we?"

Peter yelped as Deadpool lifted him bridal style and carried him closer to the doors to the lunch room. He placed him down where Gwen and Mary Jane was standing. "Hey, girls!"

"Hi, Deadpool!"

The female couple was one of the few to know Peter was dating Deadpool as much as they knew Peter was Spider-Man. And honestly, they liked the Merc with the Mouth.

"Keep Peter away from there.", he ordered, sneaking a quick kiss since the others were too occupied posting the fight on their Twitters, Snapchats, and fucking Instagrams. "Can do!"

Thor had came down in all his godly glory, swinging his hammer in his hand. "Prepare to be vanquished, you foul insect!"

"Thor, think you can toss that thing away?!", Falcon screamed as the bug tried snatching him out the sky. "One more experiment goes wrong scenario and I will fucking lose it!"

"Well, prepare to lose your sanity then!", Winter Soldier shouted, shooting the insect with a very large gun. "Die, motherfucker! DIE!"

* * *

After thirty minutes, the insect was finally thrown from the school's campus and destroyed. Since the courtyard and a hallway was damaged, the students were let out of school early. Buses had been called, teens already driving away or walking. Some still stayed behind waiting for their parents. Which Peter was doing. He had already told Gwen and Mary Jane his 'see you later', promising to call them later. He was sitting on the steps of the school, waiting for either Steve, Tony or one of the other Avengers to pick him up.

"Hey, Peter.", was heard for the 20th time that day. Peter didn't turn his head, just averted his eyes upwards to see one of the football players coming over to him, his posse following. The spider powered teen rolled his eyes, taking a stand to walk away. He didn't have any tolerance for this.

Seeing he was going to walk away, the football player grabbed his wrist, stopping the younger teen. "Peter, Peter. I just want to ask you something.", he admitted.

"Well, whatever it is, I don't care to hear it. Not to be rude."

"Seriously? You don't want to hear anything?"

Peter shook his head, looking both cute and annoyed. "Nope!"

"I just wanted to see if you wanted to go out tomorrow night. That's all."

"Nah. I'm good."

"But-"

HONK! HONK!

Remaining peeps found a sleek red sports car rolling up to the school. The passenger seat window was rolled down, revealing the driver to be none other than Tony Stark himself. "Hey, Petey!", he shouted, noting how onlookers were amazed. Peter was thankful for his adoptive father and rushed over to the car with a smile. "Hi, Mr. Stark. Aunt May asked you to pick me up again?"

"Yup! Sure did, buddy! Now get in!", Tony played along. Peter jumped into the passenger seat, shooting the others a cute, kitty smirk before the car took off.

When they were down the street, stopping at a streetlight, the brunet duo laughed. "Have I ever expressed to you how awesome you are, Dad?"

"You have, but it wouldn't hurt to do so again.", Tony teased back. "Sorry about the bug crashing your school today. It got out of hand."

"It's alright. At least we're out of school all next week."

Tony nodded in understanding before glancing over at the younger male. He reached out and brushed Peter's hair with his fingers. "You got some yellow stuff in your hair.", he voiced as said substance fell. Peter blinked. "Oh, must be from that bee you fought earlier. No biggie."

If only...

* * *

That night, Peter had found himself cuddled up to his boyfriend, dressed in an over-sized blue tee, shorts and socks. Surrounding the couple was the others, everyone enjoying... or trying to... another movie night. Steve and Tony were beside the couple, also cuddled up. At their feet was Sam and Bucky, the Falcon snuggled securely in the other's lap.

In the chair was Natasha, sitting in it like a cat who didn't want to share any space.

At her feet was Clint and Pietro, the speedster's laying in the older's lap while fingers playing in his silvery locks. His twin and Vision was in the lounge chair, Wanda laying across Vision like a blanket. Rhodey sat in front of them on the floor, munching quietly on a bag of chips. Yes, quietly. With chips.

Bruce was sitting between Loki and Thor, legs curled up while his chin was planted in his knees. Loki insisted he sit there.

Everyone was chill, relaxed and trying their best not to comment on anything. But as usual, that failed.

"I'm sorry. But why did he do that?"

"Because he's stupid, Rhodey. That's why."

"We should totally give up on being the Avengers and be movie critics. Anyone with me?", Clint teased, glancing around the room. Tony laughed, shifting Steve so he was laying on his chest.

"No matter how good the movie is or how bad, we still comment on it. I'm all for it."

"Well, for now, let's just stick to doing what we do best. That's saving people...", Steve started.

"And being total complete nut cases.", Natasha finished.

Steve rolled his eyes before he stood up, getting a whine of protest from his boyfriend. "I'm getting some snacks. Anybody else?"

Everyone, except Rhodey, requested something before the blonde went off. He came back a few minutes later, arms filled with food and drinks. While Wade had gotten a bag of chips, Peter was given his requested tub of cookies 'n' cream ice cream. The gallon sized one! The Merc blinked, watching as Peter lifted the plastic lid and ate straight from the container. Every now and then, Peter would release a moan that spoke how tasty the ice cream was. And it almost as if he was doing it _purposely_. The older was not able to concentrate on the movie or his chips, only his minx of a boyfriend who was practically asking for it.

"Hey, Wade?"

Wade blinked out his trance, his eyes meeting Peter's 'innocent' brown ones. "Yeah, baby boy?"

"Want some?", the teen offered, holding out the spoon with the ice cream on it towards Wade's mouth. And the way he was leaning, almost inches away from a kiss was tempting.

"..."

"Come on, love. Open.", Peter cooed, blinking his lashes and rubbing his knee against the other's thigh. By now, Tony and Steve had caught sight of what was happening, both a bit amused at a blushing Wade but concerned and wondering if Peter had any idea what he was doing?

"... um... Petey, that's fine. I'm cool... r-really...", Wade squeaked out.

Peter pouted cutely. "Really? You don't want _any_? Not even one spoonful?", he drawled out, climbing more on the other while balancing both the tub of ice cream and the spoon. Wade gulped, feeling hot under the collar. He needed an escape route.

"No. I'm not really in the mood for ice cream."

"Oh really now? Not even if I offered you to lick it off _me_?"

At those words, some of the ice cream dripped onto Wade's exposed collarbone. The two blinked before one of their eyes widened while the other gotten a Cheshire Cat grin. Peter _slowly, teasingly_ licked up the ice cream then his own lips. "Hm. Or do you prefer that I lick it off _you_?"

"OKAY! I THINK I'M GONNA GO TAKE A LONG, COLD SHOWER NOW!", the Merc with the Mouth announced, rushing out the room to escape Peter's advances.

While everyone became confused at his sudden burst, Peter sat there frowning that his boyfriend just left him while his adoptive parents exchanged shocked stares.

* * *

"Good morning, everyone!", was the greeting hours later. The occupants of the kitchen gave their own hellos and waves at Sam and Steve who just got back from an early morning run before they took their showers. Sam planted a kiss on Bucky's cheek, who was pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Enjoyed the run?"

"Tried to. Steve kept passing me... again."

Said blonde just giggled. "Can't help it. It's in my nature.", he sassed, pulling out a skillet to help out Nat who was already flipping some pancakes. Wade had walked in then, fresh from a shower, but shook up about something. He flopped down in a chair, not saying a word. Thor was the first to notice. "Wade, does something trouble you?" The other male blinked, nodding slowly. "Y-yeah... it's Peter."

"Peter? Is something wrong?", Wanda asked.

"I... I don't honestly know. I just know that he's... well..."

"Morning!"

Speak of the Loki, there was the current subject of the small talk. Peter looked happy as ever, a glow of radiance surrounding him, contrasting his slightly off the shoulder black long sleeved shirt and jeans that did his ass justice. And Wade had took a real quick notice of it. The teen wandered over to Tony first, kissing his cheek before doing the same to Steve. The brunet of the couple crossed his arms. "Alright, Peter, what's got you so happy?", Tony questioned, suspiciously. Peter shrugged, taking a seat in the frightened Wade's lap. "Nothing, just happy, you know? Ever just wake up feeling like that?"

"I have...", Pietro trailed off while he watched his milk with cinnamon swirl from his spoon. "Wanda, look at this! I got a picture of a bunny!" His twin looked into his mug and gasped. "It does look like a bunny!"

While those two were occupied with that...

"Hey, you think anything's going to happen today? Random monster attack? Fury calling us in for another lecture?", Clint voiced, biting into his freshly cooked pancakes.

"I hope not. It's Saturday and I prefer to just relax.", Bruce admitted, accepting a Poptart Thor willingly gave him. "After yesterday? I think we should just... Wade, are you okay? You're looking a little red..."

And he was indeed. Wade was almost the same red in his suit. And it wasn't from heat. Peter was not only in his lap, but also rubbing circles on his torso while purring against his neck, holding onto him like his life depended on it. "Um... I am... just... you know... seized at the moment.", he stuttered.

"Peter, you shouldn't be doing that in the kitchen.", Steve growled.

What the response was gave everyone a bit of a surprise.

The usual sweet, angel Peter had _hissed and glared_ at Steve like he took one of his prized toys away from him. "I'm not doing anything except appreciating the sexy physique of my boyfriend, Pops."

Steve just blinked, not really knowing how to respond. Wade was shifting in his chair, trying to pry Peter off. "Um... Peter? Cap's right. We really shouldn't be... mmphf!" Peter obviously didn't want to hear it. He smashed his lips onto Wade's, snaking his arms around the older's neck like no big whoop. Wade didn't have a second to come up with a coherent thought before the kiss was broken. Peter smirked, shifting like a kitten in Wade's lap. "Wade, you know you don't ever want to stop kissing me, do you? Now, you just sit there and shut your handsome little mouth before I make you.", he demanded, his eyes narrowly to emphasize his words.

Wade gulped, not sure if it was wise to throw Peter off and run. Peter sounded deadly serious. He glanced at the others for help, only to find mixed expressions. "..."

"Um... so anyone up for a game of Monopoly or something after breakfast? Maybe a trip to the mall?", Bucky suggested nervously.

"The mall sounds nice. Maybe get out and get some fresh air because some of us seem... not normal from being inside the Tower.", Rhodey agreed, sparing a glance over to Peter. The teen was pretty engaged with his boyfriend, smirking like a cat that caught the canary while running his fingers down Wade's cheek to his chest. Wade was never one to hide of how freaked out he would from a situation, knowing that even if his abilities are inhuman, he still had fear like any other human. Like now. Peter was the source of it which is new. Not like Peter was ever scary before... but... this time?

Wade was usually the affectionate one in their relationship, more direct when it came to expressing his love. That's how their whole bonding even started. Peter was reluctant towards Wade's advances when they first teamed up but warmed up to them. Now it just seem almost reversal.

* * *

After breakfast, getting dressed and whatnot, the Avengers headed out to the mall, some of them hoping no paparazzi jumped out for some pictures and interviews. The first thing Wanda did was run over to a nearby jewelry shop, spotting a red charm necklace in the window. "Ooh! Pretty! Tony! Can I get that?!"

"Wanda, you have your own credit card, remember? Of course you can!", Tony answered, rolling his eyes before looking over to the spider powered teen and his boyfriend. At the moment, they seem normal, just holding hands and standing there. Since last night, he grew suspicious of Peter's sudden change in behavior just as Steve and Wade was. "Hey, Tony, I'm going with Thor and Bruce to get some new jeans, alright?", Steve voiced. Tony nodded and gave the blonde a quick kiss on his cheek. He then glanced over at Peter. "Say, Petey? How about you go with Steve?"

Peter just shrugged, about to follow Steve and dragging Wade until he was stopped. "And maybe... alone? I thought Wade and I could spend some quality time together? You know, future father and son-in-law time, hm?", he suggested, hoping his excuse would work. The teen's eyes narrowed, filling with slight anger, but nonetheless, he let go of the older's hand. "Okay.", he added before getting on his tip toes to give Wade an adoring quick kiss to his lips. He then ran off after Steve, following him, Thor and Bruce into a nearby clothing store.

When they were gone, the others off to their own advances, Tony turned to Wade. "You doing okay?", he questioned, seeing that Wade looked a bit out of it. "Um... define okay..."

"I guess not. Come on."

The two trailed off, heading towards the game store. After all, Mario Kart got broke during a tussel.

"I'm guessing you had Peter go with Cap so you could separate us, huh?", Wade asked, already knowing the answer.

And as he suspected, Tony nodded. "I did."

"Usually I'll be protesting to that, but I do need the separation right now. Something's up with baby boy. He's not his usually sweet, innocent self."

"I noticed. Like this morning. He actually _glared at Steve_."

The two were now inside the game store, fluently ignoring the stares since they were more engaged in their conversation about the youngest Avenger. "Peter is Steve's little angel, so to see that... something's definitely not right with my little scientist."

"My thoughts exactly. I'm not saying I don't enjoy the attention, but... he's not... he's..."

"More thirsty than a dehydrated horse? Hornier than a bull? Wanting to ride you like a cowgirl... cowboy?"

Wade stiffened, blinking at the words. "Um... did you just... say that?"

"I did. And here I thought you were the crazy one.", the brunet teased. Wade rolled his eyes, returning to his normal posture. "I am, I am. But after I've been going through the past few hours, you wouldn't have toned it down, too."

* * *

The next few days that went by was, to say the least, quite interesting. The youngest Avenger, the usual sweet cinnamon roll known as Peter Parker, also known as Spiderman, had grew more and more into a minx than ever.

His advances on Wade, who doubted he was going to get use to it, were more seductive. Not just verbally or physically. He would shoot the Merc with the Mouth kisses and winks, even licks on his lips every few minutes. His dress code changed, being more revealing and darker than usual. Peter also spoke with more... vigor. His words were flirty as much as his touches and stares were.

And Wade didn't seem he could handle it. He was usually the one cracking sex jokes, getting Peter to blush now he was the one sporting a face as red as his suit. When it got too much, Wade would run out the room, excusing himself for a cold shower and leaving behind a very disappointed Peter.

Even if it amused them, the ones were concerned for what was going on. Tony and Steve reacted just as parents would be. They sensed that if this kept up, Wade would probably snap and give in to Peter, resulting in the lost of his virginity. If he still even had it!

It got to the point where Tony had to call on Bruce for help to run some test on Peter. The hard part was getting the teen to allow it. Peter's appearance and mannerisms weren't the only traits to change. His attitude towards everyone as well took a turn.

If he didn't want to do something he flat out growled or hissed about it. If he wanted something, he wasn't going to ask. And damn it, if he had something on his mind he was going to speak about it. And he had no filter what so ever. Rhodey and Bucky couldn't look at him the same way again.

To summarize... Peter wasn't... Peter.

* * *

"Knock knock."

The two Science Bros turned to see Wade coming in the lab after FRIDAY gave him access. Tony moved his goggles up to see him in a normal light than a red color. "What's up, Wade? And where's Peter?"

"Occupied with Sam and Steve. And that's a conversation I'd never thought I hear."

"What are they talking about?", Bruce asked.

Wade cleared his throat. "Um... well... kinks... BDSM... usual stuff."

While Tony could only imagine how the conversation started, Bruce could only blush. "..."

"That must be interesting.", Tony teased.

"Indeed. Otherwise, Petey wouldn't had let me go. Well, he did ask about it first. When I left, they had a laptop open."

"..." Bruce still wasn't talking.

"Hm. Anyways, what brings you down to the lab?"

Wade planted himself on one of the chairs, sitting in it backwards. "I want your honest opinion on this."

"And that is...?"

"How'd you think Peter would react if I decided to leave the Tower for a few days?"

Tony had to ponder that for a while before he could come up with a complete answer. "Honestly? He might go on a rampage. Why you ask?"

"I'm afraid I might throw Peter over my shoulder, take him to the bedroom and fertilize his spider eggs if he keeps this up. I'm losing control, man! Control! Do you know how hard it is for me to not look his way?! How hard it is to not pay attention to the way he licks his lips or purr like a fucking sexy feline?!", Wade blurted, not standing up. "Imagine if Big, Blonde and Beautiful did the very things Peter is doing to me to you! Trust me! My katana is _yearning_ for Petey! And I'm not talking about the one I use to slice and dice!" (1)

"Okay! Okay, Wilson! I get your point!"

Wade sat back down, pouting. "What are you two doing anyways?"

"Looking through the results we obtained from Peter's tests and I figured out why he's acting the way he does.", Bruce answered. He removed his goggles and placed on his glasses, picking up a piece of paper before sitting down. He turned to Wade and continued. "It seems Peter is experiencing an induced 'heat' session."

"Heat?" It then clicked. "As in he wants to fuck?!"

Bruce sighed, his face a little red again. "Well, to bluntly put it, yes. He wants... have sex, but with just you. He seeks you as a potential mate, Wade. And whatever got into his system only increased his already implanted spider DNA."

"He's acting like a female one then.", Wade added.

"Well, yeah."

"What got him acting like this then?"

"Remember that time we fought that big ass bee and it shook off the yellow pollen shit?", Tony reminded. Wade nodded. "Yeah. I remember. I got him out the way, but he still had some of that shit on him."

"Yup. He still had it on him until he got home that day. I noticed some was still in his hair."

"Hm. Say, Doc? How long until this... phase of Peter's is over?"

Bruce shrugged. "Maybe for a few more days tops. Or until you decide to mate him."

Wade gulped at that when he noticed Tony shooting him a glare. "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, Iron Zoot Suit! I may have admitted I want to screw Peter, but that doesn't mean I'm just going to do so! Especially, if he's like this! I prefer the real Peter... and married."

Tony seem to have calmed down. "Alright, alright. But if I find out-"

"I know!"

* * *

By the late afternoon, Wade had his bag packed and ready to head out. He made sure to avoid Peter, going different routes to he was able to sneak out without the younger jumping him. He informed the others of where he was going to be for the next few days so they wouldn't have to worry. The only one clueless to his whereabouts was Peter.

The young brunet had took a quick hot shower, still wondering where his boyfriend could have gone. He was in dire need of his presence, wanting to rub against Wade and whisper dirty, sweet words in his ears. He smirked at that thought. Just thinking about the older male made him growl in pleasure lowly and yearn more for him, very anxious to see him.

After a few minutes, he got out, dried, and dressed himself in a dark red tight fitted tee and black jeans. He then headed down to the den where he figured everyone... _his boyfriend_... would be. "Hi, everyone!", he greeted, despite his focus being on the search for his Wade. And said male wasn't there.

"Hey, Peter! How are y-"

"Where's Wade?", the teen quickly asked, interrupting Clint who gotten a look bafflement just as the others did at the question.

"Um... Wade?", Bucky chimed in.

Peter crossed his arms. His dark browns narrowing in skepticism. "Yeah. Wade. Wade Wilson. Deadpool. _My boyfriend_.", he hissed. Momentarily, Steve had stopped sketching while Bruce stopped reading some article. Even Loki stopped doing whatever he was doing to eye Peter.

The teen stepped closer, now looking on the brig of losing his damn mind. "Where... is... Wade?", he repeatedly, growling under his breath. Pietro gulped. "Um... who is this Wade you speak of?", he tried, shooting his twin a nervous glance with a shrug. Wanda just stared at him like he was stupid.

"You know damn well who Wade is! Wade! As in my mate! My boyfriend! My partner! My future hubby! My future baby daddy! WHERE THE HELL IS HE?!"

"Um... uh...", Tony started, now freaked out of his mind because even _Natasha_ looked fearful of Peter. But proud, too. Yeah. Proud.

"Wade was assigned to a mission. We won't be back for a couple of days.", Vision answered, straight faced as he could. For a while, it looked as if Peter believed him. But then...

"No, he's not. Wade would have told me if he was going on a mission."

"Maybe he didn't want you to know this time.", Rhodey added.

"I don't believe you. Any of you. You're hiding something. I know you are. You either don't know where my love is or you do know and can't tell me."

"We don't know where he is.", Sam quickly answered.

Peter uncrossed his arms. "Alright. So do you know why he left?"

"No.", Steve answered this time.

The brunet narrowed his eyes again. "Hm. I think you're lying."

"Peter, Wade is probably out getting food or something.", Bruce suggested.

"LIAR! He's been gone for hours! Hours!"

"Peter, you're being irrational.", Natasha deadpanned.

The other spider themed Avenger just huffed. "Fine. If that's how you all are going to be, then so be it.", he snarled before leaving the room. When he was sure he was out of hearing range, Tony spoke. "FRIDAY, if Peter tries to leave the Tower, lock down his room and inform me right away."

 **"Yes, sir."**

* * *

It was now dark with the New York City sky. But with the lights of buildings and cars, it wasn't as much so.

In one neighborhood, our Merc with the Mouth temporarily resided, laying in a soft, comfy bed, his thoughts only occupied with that of his baby boy, his love of his life, his little spider, Peter. But you're probably wondering where he is, huh? Well...

"Wade, are you alright in there?", questioned an elderly, feminine kind voice. Wade glanced over at the closed door.

"Yeah. Just fine, Aunt May. Thanks for letting me stay here again!"

"No problem, my future nephew-in-law! Well, if you don't need anything else, then I'm off to bed. Good night!"

"Nighty, nighty!"

The Merc could make out receding footsteps, signaling that Aunt May went to her room. The moment he heard her door close as did his eyes, another voice could be heard.

"You honestly think I wouldn't find you, huh?"

"EEEPPP!"

He was thankful he had on his Deadpool suit, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to easily pull out his katana. He looked in the corner of the room, finding a black and red clad figure, who looked none too pleased. "What the... Peter?"

"Right you are, Wadey-Wade.", Peter cooed, rushing over to Wade and snaking his arms around his boyfriend's neck. "Surprised to see me?"

"Um... honestly? Yes, yes I am. And what's with the suit, babe?"

Peter wasn't in his usual red and blue webbed suit. Instead, the spandex was completely midnight black, sans for a red spider symbol on the front, the one on the back, his eyes, and the palms of his hands which had the symbol seen on a black widow spider. Bonus of the suit that it had claw like fingers and quite tight, showing his glorious figure that Wade worships. (2)

"Oh, just something I just slipped on. You liiiikkkkeeee?"

Wade was positive now that Peter may be the death of him. And it's hard to kill him so that's saying a lot.

"I can't say I don't. I'm really digging it on you, babe. But seriously, why are you here?"

Peter pouted, letting out a displeased whine at the question. He let one clawed finger caress down the other's chest, getting a shiver out of him. "Why did you leave the Tower? Why did you leave me?"

"Because you're making it very difficult not to throw you on any surface and take you.", Wade immediately answered, losing some bit of breath. Peter giggled, drawing his legs up an around Wade.

"Maybe I _want_ you to."

"Stark wouldn't like that."

"Don't care."

"Stars 'n' Stripes wouldn't either."

"Still don't care."

The older let out a yelp when Peter forced him onto the bed and then straddled him like no big whoop. Their noses, still covered by masks, were now only two centimeters apart. Peter made sure there was little space between them. "I only care for right now is you, me and this bed.", he sassed, pressing Wade further into the bed. "Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"It does. Buuutttt... it would be more fun on our _wedding_ night, right?", the older tried to coax, sitting up while holding onto the other's slender wrists. "I promise that will be the best night of your life, baby boo."

Peter's answer was _not_ something he was expecting. Then again... Peter wasn't really himself.

The teen pinned him back down with a much lust filled stronger force. "NO! Unless, you plan on marrying me this _second_ , I'm not letting you up until we're done. Got it?!"

Wade could only shiver and blink behind his mask. Who knew Peter could sound so hot when mad? "Alright, I admit... you scared the shit out of me... well, you have been for the past couple of days... but I am a little turned on right now."

Peter giggled. "I can tell. Now we should-"

"Peter, no. I hate to tell you that because you're so hot right now! But, no! You're not in the right state of mind! You're a sex-crazed spider powered minx! YOU'RE! NOT! YOU!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... Petey?"

"..."

"Babe, l-look... I'm sorry I yelled at you. It's just I don't... what are you doing? Peter? Babe? Baby boy? What are you... AH! OKAY! I HATE TO DO THIS!"

Before Peter could go on with his advances, he was harshly shoved off the Merc, resulting him in landing on the end of the bed. Wade took that as an escape and made his way over to the window, jumping out of it... while breaking the glass. Peter rushed over to the broken opening and spotted his boyfriend taking off down the street. Behind the mask, his eyes narrowed.

"How dare you, Wade... how dare you deny me of your body!"

* * *

"I still can't believe he managed to escape the Tower!"

"We better find Wade and Peter before its too late!"

"Aye, isn't that Wade and young Peter there?!"

Tony and Sam followed Thor's pointing with his hammer, spotting Peter and Wade running. As they expected, the black and red clad spider was chasing down his boyfriend like an angry animal. "WADE WILSON! YOU GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!", he hollered, shooting webs which Wade effortlessly dodged. He shook his head, jumping over an opening and onto the next building. "NO WAY! WE'RE NOT HAVING ANY HYBRID SPIDER CHILDREN! AT LEAST NOT NOW!"

"YES WE WILL! AND WE SHALL HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED 'ITSY BITSY'!" (3)

Tony and Sam just exchanged looks before swooping downward, Thor following them. They landed in front of Peter, stopping him from chasing Wade. The teen immediately lost it. "DAD! MOVE!"

"Peter, don't take that tone with me. Do you want to be grounded? Now listen! You're acting not like yourself! You've been infected with a substance that is forcing you to want to-"

"Fertilize his spider eggs?", the Merc with the Mouth spoke up from behind Thor.

"Well, yeah... to bluntly state it. Anyways, Peter, snap out it! You're going to stop this right now!"

"You're not thinking straight, young Peter.", Thor added.

The teen pouted behind the mask, crossing his arms. "This isn't fair!"

"Well, fairness sucks that way. Now come on!"

The older brunet tried to grab him, but the spider powered teen flipped back, dodging him and landing on an entrance to a vent. "NO! I WANT WADE! AND I'M GOING TO HAVE HIM! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S IN THE PRIVACY OF A BEDROOM OR OUT IN THE OPEN ON TOP OF THIS ROOF! I-"

WHACK!

The trio watched as Peter slumped forward and then caught by a pair of arms. Steve, clad in his uniform, adjusted Peter like a baby in his arms and eyed the others. "Problem solved."

* * *

By late morning, everyone had gathered into Peter's bedroom, wanting to be on guard just in case he woke up and decided to seduce Wade again.

He groaned, waking up to the many stares and immediately jumped up like a cat and attached himself to the ceiling. "Really?! That's just creepy, thank you!", he harshly sassed. He jumped down onto his bed and straighten his clothes. He then gotten a painful thud inside his head. "What happened? I feel as if something bulldozed me."

Steve shifted on his feet. "Yeah... sorry about that, Peter. I knocked you out."

"With his shield apparently.", Natasha added. "Besides the headache, how are you feeling?"

Peter settled down on his butt, sitting with his legs tucked in. "Well... okay to say the least."

"You're not feeling horny, right?", Bucky bluntly asked.

"Bucky!", Bruce scowled.

The brunet ex-HYDRA soldier shrugged. "What? There's no point in beating around the bush."

Peter then thought about it. Feeling horny? Why would he... oh.

"Oh my... I'm so sorry!", he cried. Wade flopped down beside him and took him in his waiting arms. "Oh, baby boy! It's no big deal! You had no control of yourself!", he voiced, nuzzling the teen's chocolate colored hair. He kissed his forehead and squeezed Peter's waist. "You were being consumed by some pollen shit that made you cray-crazy!"

"More like thirsty. But it seems like you're back to normal since you're not jumping Wade like a fox!", Clint chuckled.

"... Well, I still feel guilty about how I acted and said. Pops, I so didn't mean to act the way I did. I was such a jackass and such a... a..."

"Wanton slut..."

"Buchanan."

"It's true."

"Peter, sweetheart..." Steve sat down on the bed and pulled Peter close in his arms, much to Wade's displeasure. He wanted to hold Peter now since he wasn't acting like a hormonal teenage girl. Although, the blonde was just comforting Peter much like a mother would her child. So he was fretting over it. "... it's okay. You're not affected anymore-"

"You still have your virginity."

"James Buchanan Barnes..."

"Don't hiss at me."

"Stop being so blunt."

"I can't help it. It's in my nature."

Steve just stared at him for a long time before turning his attention back to his adopted son. "Anyways... Peter, we're just going to put this whole thing behind us. No one got hurt. Wade still loves you."

"I do."

"Tony, me and no one else in the Tower hates you for how you acted. Okay?"

Peter could only nod.

"Good. Now, how about we all just head to the den and play some games and pig out on food since we're just fun-loving people, hm?"

"Sounds awesome to me! Say, I have one question though.", Sam admitted.

"What's that?", Vision questioned.

"Um... Peter, where did you get the black, red and badass suit from?"

Peter's pout quickly flipped to a proud smirk. "Oh, Aunt Tasha helped me design it."

The others glanced at said Russian, seeing her nod with her arms crossed and a grin on her face. A deadly grin. "Thought he could use a little of _my_ touch in one of his suits. I personally feel it could scare the shit of out someone."

"It scared the shit out of me...", Wade mumbled, looking ashamed as ever.

* * *

 **I'm so mad at all of you. Want to know why? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE YOU INFORM ME OF ANDREW GARFIELD KISSING RYAN REYNOLDS ON LIVE TV?! HUH?! HUH?!**

 **It's as if the Spideypool Ship has definitely sailed.**

 **An speaking of Spideypool...**

 **(1) - As of last year, I know they came out with a Spiderman/Deadpool team-up comic and let me tell you it's just awesome! I'm so glad I came across it, and I'm positive Marvel is trying to make them canon. So much subtext. An example? Deadpool's rant is inspired by this bit in the beginning of Spiderman/Deadpool Volume 1: Isn't It Bromantic. It goes like this...**

 **DP: If you don't stop squirming, I am totally going to "unsheathe my katana" all up against your "spider eggs". And by "katana" I mean-**

 **SM: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!**

 **DP: WHAT?! I'm a red-blooded Canadian** _ **male**_ **! It's friction and junk-biology and spandex grinding on leather and just** _ **please**_ **stop wiggling your webbing-**

 **SM: Would you just SHUT UP SO I CAN THINK?!**

 **DP: Don't yell at me... that's totally one of my turn-ons.**

 **(2) - This suit I'm calling the 'Black Widow Suit' because well... it's reminds of the spider. Not Natasha... maybe... anyways... Peter wears this suit in the same volume I mentioned above. And truly, it looks badass to me!**

 **(3) - Believe or not, Spiderman and Deadpool have a 'daughter' named Itsy Bitsy in their still-going on comic. Well, she was just a regular human who got injected with their blood. It's like a 'Superman and Lex Luthor had Superboy' kind of thing.**

 **Remember, if you want a chapter written for you, you must be the first one to guess...**

 **1\. The actress from 'Clash of the Titans' who plays Io and the other character she plays**

 **2\. The movie I'm talking about. Hint: "Revenge is sweeter than candy"**

 **3\. The actor from said movie, his character in said movie**

 **4\. And the Avenger he plays.**

 **That is all. Review!**


	19. TeamBadass'Damsels'inDistress

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Disclaimer: Shit, damn it! I still don't own! Just own Rene Jadeson, who does appear once again! Speaking of which...**

 **Notes: Remember how in chapter 4 Rene tells the Avengers how he got into SHIELD? Well, something similar is gonna happen in this chapter. I just want to give more badass-ery to his character. And I came to realize I'm probably one of the few authors who don't pair their OCs to the actual characters in the fandom. Hm... hmmmm... hhhhhmmmm...**

 **Warnings: Same warnings from before, guys. But I'm warning you I can't write fight scenes for shit. I don't know. First time trying really.**

* * *

Chapter 19 - #TeamBadass'Damsels'inDistress

The moment his morning alarm blared through the room, he went to dive back into the blankets until a firm grip grasped his ankle. "Don't even think about it.", came a sharp snarl. Dark, dull, crestfallen browns peered up into crystal, bright, 'Don't give me no fucking excuse' blues. "But-" A tug on his leg interrupted him. "Anthony Edward Stark, don't even think for a moment you can come up with some excuse or complaint. It haven't worked before and it won't work ever. Shower, groom, get dressed and let's head out."

Tony flipped onto his back as the hand was removed from his ankle. He glanced up at his boyfriend and pouted. "Steve, must you torture me so? I thought you loved me!"

Steve leaned down and pecked the other on his lips. "I do, baby. I do. But it's mandatory that we _all_ attend these meetings. Even Wade attends them now."

"Because he's crazy!"

"No, because he takes responsibility. That's one good thing I admire about him. Now get up, lover.", he teased, pulling Tony even closer to the edge of the bed. The brunet groaned and sat up. "Fine. But promise-"

"Lap dance, later?"

That got Tony moving.

* * *

Within the next hour, the Avengers were settled in the meeting room of SHIELD HQ. As usual, Fury was already seated in his chair. Coulson, Hill and her trainee agent, Jadeson was also there. Coulson in his usual dark suit, Hill in her usual catsuit, and Jadeson... wait! Hold up!

"Um... RDJ? What's with the new look?", Clint asked.

Instead of his usual button up shirt and black slacks, his attire was black leather pants with gun holsters, a sleeveless black shirt, a matching black jacket that was similar to the top half of Maria's suit, and black boots. Rene looked over his dark clothing and shrugged. "Well, I've been promoted."

"Congrats, Jadeson!", Sam cheered.

"Thank you."

"Jadeson is now an official hands-on, in the field SHIELD agent. So you're definitely going to see him more.", Maria added with a smirk, planting a hand on her student. "I'm still his handler though."

"Well, cheers to you, RDJ. Say, maybe we could go to a club and drink-"

"Sorry, got to shoot that down, Stark.", Fury interrupted firmly. Tony pouted, crossing his arms. "Anyways, we called you to this meeting because it seems that HYDRA is on the rise again."

At the mention of said organization, Bucky and Steve tensed. "Say what?!"

"There's been reports of missing materials such as chemicals from labs, medicial supplies, clothing, food, and 5 people.", Phil voiced, pressing a button on a remote he held. Before them was a lit blue screen, displaying a series of pictures. "This is some of the shots we were able to take from security cameras and such. This guy seems to be the ring leader.", he added, zooming in on an individual adorning nothing but black and a mask with a white painted skull face.

"Find him and HYDRA and shut down whatever operation they have going down.", Fury ordered, before dismissing the team.

Bruce was the first to stand up, taking the files Maria handed over before leaving the room, Thor following after him. At the rear of the group was Bucky, Steve, and Sam.

"I can't believe this. HYDRA hasn't been heard of for months and then this happens. What more could they possibly want?", Steve sighed. Bucky just looked heartbroken. Sam noticed the discomfort between the two and placed his hand within his boyfriend's metal one while his other hand went to Steve's shoulder. "Hey, we'll figure this out. And this time we're gonna shut down HYDRA for good.", he promised. Bucky returned a sweet, soft smile before twirling Sam and pulling him to his chest. "One good thing about HYDRA is that they managed to keep me frozen for all these years just in time for me to have met you. I'm glad I tore your steering wheel right through the roof."

"You owe me a new steering wheel, too."

* * *

When they got back to the Tower, Tony immediately went on to decode HYDRA's whereabouts along with Rhodey, Bruce, Wade and Vision. After two hours, some time around ten, Bruce came out the surveillance room. He was traveling through the hallways when he came in contact with Thor.

"Bruce?", the blond god had questioned. Bruce had stopped and glanced up at him. "Hi, Thor."

"Does something ails you? Is it HYDRA?", he added, taking hold of both of the appointed doctor's hands. The brunet blushed, shaking his head in a negative while trying to keep himself composed. "You could say. I just needed a breather to compose my mind. Say, you happen to know where Steve is, would you?"

"I believe he's in the gym."

"Okay, thank you, Thor."

Thor just nodded, smiling in return. "I'm glad to be at service for you."

Bruce swore his heart had stopped just then, his body getting hot from the husky reply. Damn it...

"Um... thank you again... um... uh... What was I asking for?"

"The location of Steven."

"R-right. I... I better go then."

The blonde had once again found himself staring at the retrieving form of the brunet. He crossed his arms, feeling a surge of pride and want through his veins.

"I saw that."

He didn't need to turn around once a blue clad figure appeared beside him. He also didn't need to turn around to see the other's smirk on his face. "Aye, as you did."

"He seems to like you back."

"Yes, it seems. But I'm waiting until I am certain he is ready for a relationship."

Pietro crossed his own arms, sparing a glance at the taller. "You're such a sweet man... god... whatever..."

* * *

"Hit 'em with a left! Hit 'em with a right!"

"I've got to have Wade stop letting you listen to those rap songs."

Peter had been seated on the top rope of the boxing ring watching Natasha and Steve go at it. The teen had glanced over at Clint and chuckled. "Can't help it. They're entertaining."

Steve had blocked a roundhouse kick from Natasha and managed to get her on her back. He looked up at his adoptive son. "Maintain your innocence."

"Hard to last time."

"Knock knock.", Bruce announced, walking in the gym. "Miss me?"

"Tony's on one of his 'phases' again, isn't he?", Wanda questioned, on a treadmill. Bruce nodded. "Had to get out of there. I would ask Steve to go stop him, but I doubt that would work."

"He wouldn't listen to me anyways. Maybe. It's worth a shot."

"He'll probably hand you one of his credit cards and tell you to go shopping.", Sam guessed. "We should test that out!"

"We most definitely should.", Natasha agreed, getting out the ring with Steve.

The group had left the gym, heading to the room where the remaining other half of the team was. Thor, Pietro, and Bucky had long joined Tony, Rhodey, Wade and Vision some time ago and was now occupied watching the given footage and looking over the notes. Steve had been the first to walk in, heading behind Tony and wrapping his arms around his neck from behind as the brunet swiftly typed across a touchpad keyboard. "Love..."

"Steve, take my credit card and you and the others go spoil yourself, m'kay?", Tony suggested, taking out his wallet and handing it over to his boyfriend. Steve blinked, looking over the wallet and then back at Tony. "..." The genius turned in his chair and grabbed onto Steve by his waist, lowering him downward so their faces was closer. "While you're out, go buy something _nice_ to put on for tonight, okay? Besides, you promised me a lap dance." The ex-soldier blushed, nodding slowly and barely responding to the quick chaste kiss given to him. He stood straight and turned to the others, escorting them out the room. When they were out of sight, Rhodey laughed. "Damn, he barely got a word out before you used your 'husband voice' on him."

Tony smirked proudly. "Hey, Steve may be able to get me to do anything he wants, but it can work vice versa. He's much of a sucker for my voice as I am for his eyelashes."

"We're all suckers for his eyelashes though.", Pietro groaned.

"Even Wanda and Clint picked up on it.", Vision added.

"And let's not get started on the pouting. Peter is the Prince of Pouting.", Wade sighed.

"What about when they get all shy? Blushes? Stiff and small posture?", Thor voiced, smiling at the thought of Bruce.

"And be all like a cinnamon roll? With their adorable smiles and happy giggles?", Bucky exhaled, thinking about Sam on that one.

"Oh, yeah. But when they get mad? Like seriously mad and you have to do what they want. Personally, I feel Steve, Natasha, Clint, Wanda, Bruce, Peter and Sam have us wrapped around their fingers than we do them.", Rhodey added.

"Fucking Mother Hens. Cinnamon rolls. Wifeys. Damn, I fucking love them! I want to spoil them for life!", Tony hollered, now unable to focus on the footage.

* * *

Meanwhile, folks!

Hazel eyes had locked on a sleek silver van rolling up to the front of the apartment complex, spotting one of the windows rolling down for one of the occupants within the vehicle to shout at him. "RDJ! Get your cute little ass in here!", Clint teased, opening the door and sliding over for the recently promoted agent to climb in. Rene rolled his eyes, taking a seat next to the archer. "Don't ever say that to me. But thanks for inviting me along."

"No problem! Besides, Tony handed over his credit card!", Wanda squealed.

"You know he gave us each of own our credit cards, right?", Natasha reminded.

"Yeah, but he just gave Steve his wallet, so he must have not want us in his hair for long."

"True."

Rene could only sigh.

It took just a few minutes for the group to arrive to the mall. There wasn't much traffic, so Steve wasn't a raving lunatic driver any time. Which was good for the others because Steve's road rage was worse than any killing spree Deadpool has ever gone on.

When the vehicle was parked, after some group of teens were cussed out, Steve, Natasha, Wanda, Sam, Clint, Bruce, Peter and Rene piled out and headed inside the large building, going through the lower half first.

Wanda was already set on where she was going to but, resulting in Natasha and Clint to go with her so she didn't go too overboard.

Steve and Sam headed to the sports session, wanting some new running gear.

That left Bruce, Peter and Rene who headed over to a nearby electronic store.

The three was gathered around a laptop, watching it play some advertisement of some sort. It looked like some Clint would be more interested in. "Where the heck is the earphones section?"

"Other side, Peter."

"Oh."

As the teen wandered off, Bruce decided to strike up a conversation with Rene. "So, how does it feel to be promoted?"

"Pretty great actually. Especially being trained under Maria Hill. She's pretty hardcore really."

"That she is. I'm surprised you still have your sanity after all this time."

The other brunet sighed teasingly, shrugging. "I'm surprised, too. Frozen World War II soldiers, androids with gems, Norse gods, wacko mercs, guys flying around in metal suits, metahumans. What's next? Guys dressed as bats? Amazons? Killer clowns? Undead dudes from another dimension where they hold tournaments of death?" (1)

"Be careful what you wish for, Rene."

"I think I'll take a killer clown any day. Nothing scarier than Coulson without coffee."

"True."

Rene picked up a phone and looked over it for a while. "Hm. Nah.", he mumbled, placing it back down. His hazel gaze had then caught sight of two suspicious looking men, both dressed in dark shades of clothing and sunglasses, and heading towards the shop they were in. He quickly ducked down, grabbing onto Bruce and Peter who had just walked up to the duo. "Whoa! What's the big deal?", the teen hissed. Rene hushed him. "Quiet. I spotted two guys who don't look every bit of friendly."

"HYDRA?", the doctor asked.

"Don't know. Could be."

The shortest of the brunets, which was indeed Rene, peered through the shelves, seeing one of the guys looking around as if he was looking for someone. The other was no where in sight. "We got to get out of here.", the agent suggested, leading the other two quietly down the aisle. What they didn't expect was an arm suddenly coming in front of them and grabbing Rene.

"What the-"

"Gotcha!" Rene struggled within the hold of the mystery man, giving him quite a hard time to hold down the agent. "Hey! Stop squirming!"

"You fucking wish!"

The man wasn't prepared for the elbow to his stomach and then a flip over Rene's shoulder. Wow. He looked stronger than one would expect. Rene was physically a small person.

Peter had heard a rushing of feet, his spidey sense telling him to move it. He did so, grabbing Bruce and avoiding the second man, seeing him trip over his partner. "Shit."

"Steve would not appreciate that language. Speaking of whom, we better get to him.", Bruce suggested, the trio rushing out the store.

* * *

Wanda had been happily slurping on a smoothie, much to the annoyance of Clint would really just wanted to knock the beverage out her hand. But he knew better since this was Wanda. Instead, Natasha handled it. "Wanda, Wanda, my dear butterball of magic. Can you please slurp a little quieter? I know it's a mall and I could hear a kid crying in the level above us, but that is a little too aggravating."

The younger redhead chuckled bashfully. "Sorry. It's just so good for it to be free. And a sample!"

"I bet.", Clint mumbled, finding Sam and Steve heading their way.

"Oh, you stopped for smoothies without us?", Sam teased.

Natasha chuckled, nudging Wanda. "Nope. Some guy at one of the smoothie places was giving out free sample smoothies."

"Ah. And you didn't get one?", Steve questioned.

"Not really my thing. Besides, he only had one and he gave it to Wanda."

"Vis is not going to like that."

Wanda waved off Sam. "He wasn't flirty or anything. Besides, Vision is the one and only for me. I wonder where Peter, Bruce and Rene are..."

"POPS! POPS!"

Steve glimpsed over his shoulder, seeing Bruce, Peter and Rene running at them. And they looked eager to had found him. He held out his hands, halting Peter before he slammed right into the older male. "Whoa, whoa! Peter, sweetheart, what's going on?"

"We... attacked... bad guys... out of breath...", the teen wheezed.

The others blinked. "Um... Okay, Bruce. What's Peter trying to say?"

Before the brunet had a said to say anything, a silver round device dropped next to them, landing on a table. Natasha was the first to spot it, noticing the red beeping light. "Shit. Duck!"

The group took cover in time for the device to go, giving off a blast. Nearby people started screaming and running off to any shelter or exit. Debris was now scattered among remaining destroyed benches and tables, small fires lit.

Sam was the first one to look up and spotted a group of men, about ten, coming at them. "Uh... Cap? We got company."

The others were alert as Clint was the first one grabbed, forced onto his feet by someone bigger than him. "Hey! Let me go, you damn bastard!", he hissed, wishing he brought his arrows.

"Well, well, well..." Steve's blues caught the sight of the man from the picture shown to them earlier. Black uniform and skull painted on the front of his mask. "If it isn't the great Captain America and his super friends.", the man snarled in a faux sweet voice. Steve was on his feet in no time. "You're HYDRA, aren't you?"

"What gave it away? The dark clothes or the bomb being thrown at you?"

"No. Neither of that. It was the stupidity I can sense coming from you.", Rene sassed, keeping a hand on Bruce since he was close to Hulk-ing out.

The man looked the agent's way. "You're a really a sass master, aren't you?"

"Part of my charm."

"I bet it is. Get them."

The men then rushed in to close them. The moment they did, they realized it wasn't going to be easy to take down the eight individuals. Wanda was the first to react, using her powers to first free Clint and then use them to throw two tables at the men. She managed to knock out two of them, momentarily forcing two more off their feet before she started to feel out of it. Her knees buckled, her body now in a state of imbalance. Sam had turned, ducking a fist when she hit the floor. "Wanda!" He rushed to her side as her eyes began to close. "Hey! Hey! Wanda, speak to me!"

"She can't. We drugged her, putting her in a temporary sleep.", the leader dude answered instead. He began to advance on Sam, forcing the other to step back from Wanda.

"Motherfucker..."

"Ooh. Do you kiss Barnes with that mouth?"

Sam's eyes widened. "How...?"

"I know all I need to know about your relationship with the Winter Soldier, cuteness. In the meantime..."

The man swung his arm to hit Sam, but the slightly smaller man dodged him, giving him a swift upper kick to the side of his head which would have really hurt if it wasn't for the helmet he wore. But he did stumble a bit when it happened. He went to grab Sam, but the other was swifter, doing a tuck and roll to avoid him before standing up and turning in time to block a punch. "I just had to meet you on that run, huh?!", he sassed, directing it towards Steve who was busy fighting off one guy. "Yeah! Fate, my friend! Bruce, I would tell you to Hulk out, but this mall doesn't need any more damage and casualities!"

"Oh,I definitely get that. I should probably get Wanda out of here.", said doctor muttered to himself, picking up Wanda and taking a few steps back. Before he could make his escape, one of the guys sent a blow to the back of his head, causing both Bruce and Wanda to tumble to the ground. Both picked up and carried off.

Clint and Natasha were fighting off three guys, taking use of the guys' knifes to attack them. The archer managed to cut one of them on their cheek. When he did, he got a look of disbelief. "That's what you get for earlier, you son of a b- AH!" Another guy came in and knocked him out, catching him before he hit the ground and carrying him off in the same direction Wanda and Bruce were. Natasha went to ran after him, but the same thing happened to her.

Peter was forced up against the wall, quite roughly, preventing him for escaping. "You know, doing this, you just signed yourself a death wish."

The guy looked fearful of the tone Peter used, but still remained unfazed by the statement. "Yeah, yeah. Look, kid. It's either you come with us silently or do I have to knock you out?"

"Knock me out and I guarantee when my boyfriend comes to rescue me he's knocking _you_ the hell out."

The guy just exhaled and threw Peter over his shoulder after whacking him in the back of his neck. Steve caught sight of him leaving and proceeded to run after him. "No! Peter! Put him down!"

"Steve, watch out!", Rene called just as he was carried off, his mouth being covered after his shout. The blonde turned and found a huge fist coming at him, knocking him out, too. The black suited leader had Steve carried by a guy about his size, himself bridal style carrying Sam. "Now let's get them to the headquarters."

* * *

 **"Sir, there has been an emergency within the downtown mall a few blocks from here."** , FRIDAY announced, catching Tony's and the others' attention. "An emergency?"

 **"HYDRA attack. People are leaving the facilities and SHIELD is on their way."**

"What of Steve and the others?", Bucky asked.

 **"I'm trying to get a location of them, but it appears that it's currently unknown. Their last recognized location was indeed the mall. And from the security footage, HYDRA may have apprehended them."**

"Shit."

"Damn straight. We got to get a location of HYDRA fast before they do anything. Thor, think you can go scoop out the scene and check out for any suspicious vehicles?", Tony requested. The god nodded, summoning Mjolnir before flying off the balcony. Tony had noticed how upset he looked.

"Pietro, same thing."

"On it.", the speedster voiced before leaving.

* * *

"Ow. Ow. Ow. I feel like someone ran me over."

"Same here. Oh shit."

"What?"

"Dude, we're tied up!"

"What was the last thing anyone remember?"

"Bad guys attacking us."

"Oh right. Damn, I didn't get to finish my smoothie."

"Wanda, that smoothie knocked you out."

"Oh, it did. Where are we?"

The answer came when the sound of a heavy metal door slid open, a bright light being switched on. Steve, Sam, Bruce, Natasha, Clint, Wanda, Peter and Rene came to the realization that they were all tied up and in chairs. Bruce and Wanda held in restricting clothing and collars with small devices on them. Peter and Steve was chained to their chairs. Sam, Natasha, Clint and Rene was tied in very thick ropes with some difficult knots.

Peter looked around, his senses going off at random. "Not home is all I can say."

"Oh really? What gave that away? The fact that we're restrained?", Natasha sassed. Peter just gave her a deadpanned face.

The door to the room slid open, revealing the big leader dude and three other dudes. "Comfortable?", he teased as a light was switched on, making the room brighter. Rene huffed. "If I had a pillow. Why did you capture us?"

The big guy crossed his arms, stepping closer. "Straight to the point, huh?"

"Why did you capture us? What do you want from us?", Steve demanded. The leader moved towards Steve, placing a hand on his chair and tilting him back just a bit. The blonde sneered, tilting his head to the side a bit.

"You would want to know, huh, Captain America?"

Steve just huffed. And then yelped when his chair was roughly sat back down on all fours. "Hey! Rudeness!"

"It's in my nature. You should know after all. I use to work for SHIELD. Well, more so was an undercover agent for HYDRA. And because of you, that wench..."

"Watch it, you son of a bitch!", Natasha growled, knowing he was referring to her.

"... and that one. The cute one... I was almost killed when the previous headquarters collapsed."

"That's the second time you called me cute. Don't you work for HYDRA? Are you suppose to be flirting with the enemy?", Sam asked, an eyebrow raised. His cheeks became hotter when the slightly larger guy stepped up to him and leaned down to his level. "Just because I work for HYDRA doesn't mean I can't appreciate such a physique as yours."

"Oh, stop, you...", Sam deadpanned. "My boyfriend won't appreciate that."

"Wouldn't matter. I'm not scared of Barnes, Stark or any of your other little Avenger friends. It's not like they'll make it in time to rescue you when we're done."

"What are you going to do?", Bruce asked.

"You'll see."

From that vague answer, they knew it wasn't good...

* * *

"This isn't good. This isn't good at all."

"You don't say..."

"This isn't the time to get sassy, Pietro. Thor looks on the edge of breaking or electrocuting something, Tony is probably about to blow up some place, and Wade and Bucky are probably dying to kill some people!"

"Rhodey, I know this isn't the time for any sass. Besides, I'm inching to cause some chaos as well.", the speedster admitted, glancing over at the replay of the video on the big, blue screen. In front of it stood Fury and Hill.

"Hm. From what we can make out they headed north away from the city.", Hill concluded.

Tony swirled in his chair, arms crossed. "That's all?"

"Cameras could only catch so much, Stark. I know you're worried for Rogers. But remember who you're dating. He's a big boy and can take care of himself. Besides, he was fighting HYDRA before any of us were born... except Thor and Barnes, of course."

Said god was by the window, glaring out it with an aura of darkness. The skies outside were turning unmistakably grey. "I don't like this at all.", he deadpanned.

"None of us do, big guy.", Bucky sighed, hoping Sam was faring well. Last thing he needed was HYDRA doing anything to his cinnamon roll of a boyfriend. Sam wasn't a super soldier like him and Steve, so he was more vulnerable. Which gave the Winter Soldier more reasons to be overprotective. "None of us. And after all this is over..."

"You guys wouldn't mind if I actually collect some HYDRA heads, right? It's a real good reason this time.", Wade voiced darkly, in a corner, sharpening one of his katanas with a knife. He haven't killed anyone in months and he was inching for it this time. No one takes his Spidey and even _thinks_ he can get away with it. Especially some organization like HYDRA. Even he had his limits and he heard about some of the things HYDRA had done and let's just say if he got a chance to release hell on them it would be worth it.

"You know... I might take you up on that offer, Wilson.", Tony replied. "They kidnapped not only _my_ Steve, but our precious spider child, Peter, your boyfriend. Our quirky little archer Clint, deadly, yet lovingly Natasha, that cheerful little doll Wanda, our gift from the heavens Sam, and our shy green snowflake Bruce."

"And don't forget Jadeson.", Fury added in.

"And, of course, that kitten RDJ! No one takes Re-Re! No one!"

"If Kieyana and Rana found out about this, all hell will definitely break loose.", Rhodey said, shivering at the idea.

"We could always go find them.", Pietro suggested. He liked the idea of Rana going crazy at the thought of Clint being captured. Mad bird goddess' fury wasn't something to fuck around with. Especially if you're the receiving end of it.

"There will be no time. We got to find the others now.", Vision reminded.

It would take a while to find the two goddesses since they never seem to stay in one place.

"Well, then we better hop to it. Since we know they headed up north, we can start looking there in the woods or so.", Coulson suggested. "I'm going to go gather up a team. The rest of your start heading out now."

"No need to tell me twice.", Bucky said, inching for his favorite gun now.

* * *

No one really knew how long it was exactly, but it had seem to had been an hour so. The captives had been brought out the room momentarily for them to change their clothes in tanks, tees and pants that Clint admit that were pretty comfortable since they were loose, but cut fitted to shape their legs. Weird, but hey it what is was. To say the least, the bad guys had bit of trouble having them getting them change. First off, one of them got knocked out by Peter punching them. Let's not go into that. Second, with Bruce's glares, which they swore was turning green, made them want to piss their pants. Okay, they heard about how scary Black Widow was, but if it wasn't for the collar around Bruce's neck, they knew none of them would still be standing.

After getting them changed, they escorted their captured group into another room. This one was spacy and looking liked a training room of some sort. Each of them had been cuffed and tied and set down on the bleachers.

The HYDRA big guy leader showed up again. "Black looks pretty good on all of you."

"Who are you again?", Wanda asked.

"All you need to know is that I go by Crossbones.", the now identified Crossbones answered blandly. Sam folded his lips, preventing a giggle. "Someone likes pirates...", he whispered, getting muffled giggles from Clint and Steve.

"Hey, I heard that!"

"Oh, I so care. I didn't mean to hurt your little feelings."

Crossbones stepped in front of Sam once again. "Cute and sarcastic."

"Only on my good days."

"Are you sure you're willing to stay in a relationship with Barnes? Because I'm totally set on making you mine."

"You disgust me. Steve, the big bad Crossbones is flirting with me again!"

"Hey, leave my Bird Bro alone! That isn't nice sexual harrassing the captive like that!", Clint teased.

"Shame on you! Shame! Shame! Shame!", Natasha faux scowled.

They then broke into giggles, earning both worried, confused, and rather shocked stares from the mooks. Crossbones could only blink. "Are you people usually this... silly?"

"Eh. Usually.", Steve answered, now that the laughing fit stopped.

There was a few minutes of silence. Just very uncomfortable silence. Before Wanda broke out in laughter.

"What the hell is so funny?!"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, but that guy should never get a buzzcut again. He looks funny.", she admitted, nodding over to one of the guys who just blushed, not sure to say anything. Wanda continued to laugh, which resulted in another fit of laughter from the others. They had to lean on each other before they fell since they were restricted. The HYDRA soldiers just watched them wondering if they captured the right people. Crossbones leaned against a wall, arms crossed again as he waited for them to finish. After five minutes, it settled down.

"You done?"

"Y-yeah...", Bruce wheezed, tears fresh on the corners of his eyes. "We're done."

"Good." A couple of more people came in the room, this group dressed in lab coats while pushing in some medical equipment and other supplies. "Now, we're..."

"Hey, do you have any snacks?", Peter interrupted.

Crossbones' arms fell at his side in disbelief. "Are... are you serious?"

"Hell yeah, I'm serious. I'm hungry, man. If you didn't kidnap us we would be having lunch right now.", the teen huffed, Steve nudging him.

"Peter, language."

"Oh, Pops, don't act as if you're not hungry either. You have to eat like on the regular with the serum and all."

"Right. I actually am hungry.", Steve agreed, the others nodded.

"I could go for a snack. Ooh! Got any snacks? Like cookies or something?", Natasha added in.

Looks were exchanged. Okay...

"Um...", one of the HYDRA soldiers started.

"You shouldn't leave your captives starving, man. We could die of starvation! You wouldn't want that now!", Clint added.

Bruce nodded. "Look, restraints or not, I will Hulk out if I don't get a Twinkie or a Zebra Cake or something.", he sassed, much like a teen girl would. "You better have some food if you don't want to see that."

"You guys are such children!", one of the lab coat wearing woman shouted in disbelief.

"Look, kids have to eat. And technically, only one of us is under the age of 20. I know Jadeson doesn't look it, but he's over 20.", Clint added.

Rene shrugged when the stares went to him. "Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm only 24 years old though. So I'm not that old. Unlike Captain Rogers here!"

"Hey! I'm physically in my thirties!", Steve protested.

"You're still old."

"You're so mean, Jadeson. I thought we had a good friendship going."

"We do."

"You people are insane.", Crossbones deadpanned.

"Maybe. Though, Rene is the sanest one here. He doesn't live with all the crazy shit that happens.", Sam said.

"True. This is the craziest thing to happen to me since I've met these people. But seriously, you got some food? A hungry me isn't pretty."

"..."

"I want a sandwich. Hold the mayo and load up on the ham.", Peter demanded.

"I could go for some Nutella. That's some good stuff.", Bruce added.

While they engaged in the topic of good food, the HYDRA stood there, blinking and wondering what the hell they were thinking.

And while that was going on...

* * *

Miles away from New York was a rag tag team of some of the SHIELD agents and the remaining half the Avengers. A Quinjet flew over just beside Thor, War Machine, Vision and Iron Man. "I'm getting some tracks down here. Stark, you copy?", was heard over the comm. link.

"Roger that, Sparrow."

"Don't call me that, Stark. Or Rogers and the others won't be the only ones we have to find.", Fury promised.

Iron Man just rolled his eyes behind his face-plate before flying downward, landing next to Pietro who was standing next to the parked Jeep which Maria, Phil and Nick was in. The speedster turned to him. "Look, clues.", he pointed over, stepping to the side to reveal some slightly fading tracks that could be made by a truck. "Hm. I see that, Sonic."

"Do you have a nickname for everyone?"

"That question answers itself. Let's move out!"

Up ahead, War Machine had noted that the sky looked to be darker than before, matching the angry scowl on Thor's face. "That you?", he questioned. The blonde only nodded. "Aye, it is. I'm doing my best to hold my displeasure of this situation."

"We're all there with you. I believe the moment Barnes sees a HYDRA mook he's gonna punch them. Or worse."

"Probably. But it will more merciful than what I will do."

"Oh. So who is it?"

Thor eyed the other with confusion. "Pardon?"

"Thor, you're upset as Tony, Wade, Bucky, Vision, and Pietro is. Meaning: you have feelings for one of our captured teammates. And since Steve, Peter, Sam, Wanda, and Clint are taken it has to be Natasha or Bruce... or Rene... since I don't think you would go after someone else's mate."

"No, I wouldn't. But it is true. I do feel for one of the others."

"Natasha?"

"She is beautiful and worthy of an opponent such as myself, but no."

"Rene?"

"I don't know him like that, Iron Brother 2."

"I'm going to pretend you didn't call me that. Ssssoooo, that leaves Bruce."

"..." Thor already knew when this conversation started it would lead to this. And he was prepared for it. Or so he thought. Judging by his silence, War Machine knew he hit a home-run.

"Oh! It is Bruce!"

"Yes."

"That actually... know what? I could see it. Shy guy like him, boisterous guy like you. You're probably the only one who could hold against the Hulk. Yeah. You're cute together."

"..."

"Just saying. But riddle me this. Not saying your choice is bad, but why Bruce?"

Thor thought about it. "Hm. There's many things that drew me to Bruce."

"Name one."

"He's intelligent."

"Another reason."

"Thoughtful."

"Another."

"Rational."

"Much more than Tony is. Another."

For the next five minutes, that went on. War Machine asked why Thor was attracted to Bruce and he got an answer. By the end of it, the iron suited veteran was convinced. So convinced, he felt he was in love with Bruce! "Okay, okay. You win. You're smitten with Brucey. When are you going to tell him?"

"When I know he's ready to be with another."

"That could be years though."

"For him, I could wait an eternity."

"I bet you would, Mr. Immortal. I bet you would."

* * *

Back in the secret HYDRA HQ!

"Okay, what you're going to do now?"

The captured heroes were back in their ropes and chains after an hour of eating. Apparently, the food HYDRA had gotten was indeed the good stuff you got from the grocery stores. Which was good because if they haven't gotten Nutella... yeah...

Crossbones was pacing slowly in from of the group of eight. "Now we're going to do what we were waiting to do, but got delayed because of food!"

"Next time, think to feed your hostages first!", Peter shouted back. "Rudeness!"

"Shut up right now!"

"Don't yell at him, Mr. Grumpy!", Steve scowled.

"Listen, Rogers, you better shut it, too before I-"

"Hey, anyone of you ever wonder why you would park in a driveway but drive in a parkway?", Natasha asked.

Silence.

Then one of the HYDRA doctors spoke up. "You know what? She's right. Why would anyone do that?"

"Seems illogical.", one of the guards agreed, a small bundle nodding and murmuring in understanding.

Crossbones face-palmed himself. "Everyone, shut up right now, damn it!"

Everyone did so, noting how pissed he was now. Who wouldn't be when your hostages are constantly harassing you with stupidity... that you have to admit was both amusing and entertaining.

He turned to the doctors and nodded, signaling for something. One of them left the room and then came back in with some liter sized glass container with some blue glowing stuff. It was set down on a table next to a casing of syringes. When Crossbones turned to the Avengers, they gulped, acknowledged that what was to happen next wasn't good for shit. "Um... what's that for?", Wanda asked.

"You'll see, witch."

"Punk."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't insult me and don't expect I won't insult you back."

Blinks.

"Just saying."

"You know what..."

"I'm calling bluff! You're not going to do shit to her! Not yet at least...", Clint voiced. "You're just going to threatened her."

"How'd you know?"

"I read people really well. Trust me, I wasn't always working for SHIELD, dude. I've done... things..."

No one wanted to comment to that. Crossbones sighed and walked forward. "Let's just get started." He reached out and grabbed Sam, pulling him to his feet and leading him over to the doctors. "Hey! Let me go! Why I got to go first?!"

"Because I said so!"

Sam was forced onto one of the operating tables where they strapped him down by his wrists once they removed his ropes. "Oh, this fucking sucks! This isn't cool at all! I hope when my boyfriend comes he kills every single of you!" A second later, he felt a pinch in his neck. He fell limp, glancing over to see one of the doctors holding a syringe with only a tad bit of the glowing blue stuff left in it. "... especially you... bastard...", he groaned, feeling strange as whatever the strange substance was swam in his system.

"Sam! What did you do to him?!", Steve demanded, wiggling in his chains.

"Nothing life threatening, Captain Rogers. So settle down!", Crossbones ordered before he did a quick double take. Sam was over with the doctors so on the bleachers should have been... one, two, three, four, five, six...

"Where is he?"

The remaining six blinked. "Who?", Bruce questioned.

Crossbones pointed to the empty spot next to Steve. "The agent. The one that doesn't look 24. The one that kind of looks like a chick."

"Oh, Rene? Maybe you left him back in the bathrooms.", Wanda implied.

"No. He was just here a second ago! A second!", Crossbones growled, emphasizing his point by storming over to where Rene was or would be sitting. "Now where is he?!"

Sudden one of the guards was knocked in the back of his head by a metal pipe. He dropped to the floor, unconscious, and revealing the was missing SHIELD agent. Rene dropped the pipe before glaring back at the others. "Looking for me?"

"GET HIM!"

When two of the guards went to grab him, the smaller dodged a hand, using one of the guards as leverage to flip out the way and land on the other side of the room. He managed to grab a knife, using it to cut Natasha and Clint out their ropes. When the two were free, they quickly got Wanda and Bruce out their restraints. When Wanda was free, she used her powers to remove the chains from around Peter and Steve. All that took only seconds.

Crossbones growled. "No! You think you're getting out of here?!"

"We will. We're the Avengers, man.", Clint answered.

The HYDRA mooks ran up while the some of the doctors scattered out the room. Natasha was the first to take one down, doing so with her infamous choke-hold with her legs. She grabbed another, getting his handgun out his holster and knocking him out with it. When she was back on her feet, she shot at the remaining doctors that surrounded Sam before going over to him and helping him with his restraints. "How are you faring?", she asked, helping him off the table.

Sam blinked his eyes a bit. "Um... not bad at least. I doubted they poisoned me. LOOK OUT!"

The two ducked from being hit by a flying HYDRA soldier that was recently thrown by Steve. "That was for the comment you said earlier about Tony! Don't think I didn't hear you!", he scowled. He was just about to be trampled by Crossbones but Rene tripped him before coming at him with a metal bowl. Crossbones looked up in time when the object collided with his masked face. Rene stepped back as the bigger male got up on his feet with a groan. "Ow... well, you got spunk.", he hissed, putting up his fists. Rene rolled his neck, getting in a similar stance. "If you say so."

"You honestly think you could take me down?"

"I don't know. Fight me and let's find out.", Rene provoked. Crossbones came at him in full charge. The agent stepped to the right, avoiding the collide before roundhouse kicking Crossbones on the back. The black clad male turned with a growl. "You're gonna pay for that.", he promised going at Rene with a series of punches that was either dodged or blocked.

He managed to get a hit on Rene, knocking him back against a table. One of the tubes held a green liquid which got on Rene's shirt. He noticed the dark material disintegrating from the substance and ripped off the bottom half of his shirt, revealing his toned stomach and somewhat feminine curves. He was too pissed to be embarrassed. "You son of a bitch!"

Crossbones didn't expect a swift neck to the side, making him tumble to the right. Rene pounced on him like a wild baby spider-monkey, hitting him multiple times before putting him in a chokehold. Peter had actually stopped webbing up some of the mooks to watch as Crossbones wander about like a spinning top to get the agent off. Eventually, he got tired of it and ran Rene into a wall. The smaller groaned, sliding down the surface before dodging a fist coming for his face.

Just a few feet away, Wanda was using new equipment as tools to knock down the doors since they were locked. She could just opened the doors with her powers, but she felt it more as payback with mesing with HYDRA's shit. "Think they can mess with me and my crew?", she muttered. Bruce had came up to her. "Obviously. Oh, bad guy."

Wanda caught the dude and flung him across the room, making him collide with a wall. Peter had joined Bruce in the wincing. "Ooh! Somebody...!"

"He needs some milk!"

"Come on, let's go!", Steve ordered as he, Clint, Sam and Natasha joined the other three.

"Wait, what about Rene?"

They turned in time to see said agent roll out of the way of being stomped on, grab the discarded metal pipe from earlier and used it like a bat like the way a certain pyscho female jester would, knocking out Crossbones. (2)

He dropped it and stepped over Crossbones' body and strolled over to the others. "I'm good. Let's get out of here."

The group ran down the hall, coming to a staircase and taking it to the next floor. When they got in that hallway, they noticed a large window at the end of it. They exchanged looks. "Might as well.", Clint voiced. They started down the hall, passing a room. Peter had halted when he heard a voice call for help. He peeked in through a small door window and gasped. "Uh... guys? Remember those five missing people Coulson mentioned?"

"Yeah.", Steve answered.

Peter pointed to the door. "Found them."

"Wanda..."

Said Maximoff removed the door with her abilities, revealing five individuals chained to the floor, three females and two males who all looked around their teen to young adult years. Wanda had removed the chains, freeing them. Steve and Sam lead them out the room, assuring them that they'll be home soon, keeping the missing group in the middle as they cautiously moved down the hallway. Once they hit the corner, a hand flew out, grabbing Natasha and throwing her against the wall. The others backed up, Clint to his bestie's side as a man stepped out. "You're not going anywhere.", he teased as four more appeared. He ran up to the group, not expecting for Rene to run up, too, kneeling him right where the sun don't shine. The others 'ooh-ed' at the man's fall, even the HYDRA peeps.

"He definitely needs some milk.", Natasha joked, standing up. Rene bit his lip, holding back a laugh. "I want to ask. But I won't. Peter."

"On it!" The remaining four soldiers were webbed up against the wall from their mouths to their feet. Peter clapped his hands together with a smile. "Suckers!"

"Great work. Now... OW!"

Rene looked down and spotted a syringe embedded into his thigh, the liquid it contained, glowing a pinkish purple color, already pushed into his veins. He stepped back from the man he assaulted earlier, taking the syringe out and throwing it to the floor. "MOTHERFUCKER!"

"YOU DESERVE THAT, BITCH!"

Before Rene could do anything, Steve grabbed the man and hoisted him up over his head. He stalked over to the window and threw him out of it. All that could be heard was screams and a thud that sounded close, but not too close. The group went to the now escape opening and peered down. The ground wasn't that far up, but it was still quite a height to climb down from. And it seem that the secret HYDRA base was inside some small mountain or a cliff. The windows had been camouflaged as the rocky surface. Typical of HYDRA to hide in a mountain.

"Hm. Looks as if we're climbing down.", Clint muttered, not happy with it. Peter and Wanda exchanged looks. "Well, that's nothing new for me.", the teen admitted before he climbed out and scaled down the rocky surface with immediate ease. Wanda followed him, using her powers to fly down. They took a seat down in the grass. "I can web up a net!", the brunet shouted.

"No! We're good! I got a better idea!", Bruce shouted back. "I'm just going to need some more clothes."

"Got it.", Clint said before going into one of the rooms. He came out seconds later with a bundle in his hands. "I got it, Bruce."

"Okay. Hold onto that for me."

The others gasped, eyes wide when Bruce jumped out the window. They, well, the other five captives, expected him to be caught by the other two or become a pancake. What they got was Hulk, standing there like the green snowflake he was. "Jump.", he ordered, holding out his hands. One of the females squealed in delight. "I always wanted to be caught by the Hulk!", she laughed before jumping down and being caught as she mentioned. The others followed suit. Moments later, Bruce was back and they were all out of HYDRA's base. The doctor quickly placed on the clothes, sparing no naked flesh, but blushing. When the others looked his way, he shrugged. "He wanted out.", he admitted before they all headed forward past the trees to an open field.

* * *

"Uh... Sir?"

"Yeah?"

"It appears that we don't need to look any further for our missing group."

The vehicle was parked and the Quinjet landed just behind them. Fury had climbed out, spotting not only the agent and the other half of the Avengers, but the five missing hostages as well.

"Well, I be damned.", he muttered as the group got closer.

"Hi, guys! Missed us?", Wanda laughed. Vision had quickly came up to her side, checking her over while planting kisses on her face. "Wanda! Are you alright?! They didn't experiment on you again, did they?"

"No. No. I'm fine. But I think Rene and Sam needs to be checked out."

"Why? Why? Sam, what did they do to you?!", Bucky frantically asked, placing his hands on Sam's cheeks to look him in the eyes. "Um... well... nothing I can't recover from to say... but they stuck a needle in me. I'm feeling just fine though."

"We can't be too sure though. We'll have to checked over once we get back to Headquarters.", Coulson promised. "Rene, how are you?"

The agent had been sitting in the grass, slightly exhausted. "Not dying... I hope. I'm just seeing swirling colors right now."

"That can't be good."

Rene shook his head, his brown strands falling into place. "N-no. Ooh. So many dots.", he mumbled, trying to stand but immediately sat back down when he felt dizzy. "Okay... I'm officially off my horse right now. Someone carry me?"

"I got you.", Maria volunteered, placing Rene in her arms bridal style. "Wow, you're not that heavy. What do you eat? Air?"

"Shut up."

* * *

They had finally made it back to SHIELD HQ after driving and flying for so long. The others, sans Bucky, Sam and Rene, had gathered in the lounge area. Tony had been cuddling with Steve on one of the couches, Wade and Peter engaged in the same in a corner. Clint was preoccupied with Pietro kissing him, making the archer whine since he was held up against a wall. "Pietro... I got... mmm..."

"Hush, my little bird."

Wanda could only roll her eyes at her twin while she sat in Vision's lap.

"So what all happened while HYDRA had you hostage?", Rhodey questioned, eyeing over to where Bruce was napping, his head against Thor's shoulder. The skies were much clearer now. Natasha laughed. "So many interesting things. I doubt HYDRA ever wants to capture Captain America and his friends again."

"What makes you say that?", Tony asked.

Peter laughed. "Daddy, you have no idea! We actually coaxed them into giving us snacks!"

"That does sound interesting. I think Fury's gonna have quite a time reading your reports.", Wade chuckled lightly.

"Hello, we're back!", Sam announced when he and Bucky came into the room.

"Sammy! How are you feeling?", Steve asked.

"Just fine. The doctors looked me over and saw nothing life threatening or anything of that matter. Maybe whatever HYDRA put in me didn't work."

"They better hope so!", Bucky growled, embracing Sam by his waist and nuzzling him protectively. "No one hurts my Falcon. NO FUCKING BODY!"

"We... we got your point..."

"NO BODY SHALL BE FOUND!"

"Um... how's Rene?", Wanda asked, averting the topic.

"He seems to okay. A little dizzy and he says he keeps seeing neon colors, but other than that nothing that's killing him. We won't know for sure until tomorrow."

"Poor Re-Re. I hope he gets better.", Clint pouted, still held against the wall while Pietro pecked lovingly at his neck. "Pietro, can you please stop?" The younger groaned in protest, but stopped regardless. He kept his hands on Clint's hips though.

Bruce had shifted against Thor then, blinking open his eyes with a yawn. "Mmm... so... anything happened?", he asked softly, closing his eyes again while getting comfortable again. Thor ignored the smirks Rhodey and Pietro gave him when the blonde wrapped an arm around the team's doctor. "Sam is okay, but Rene is still recovering."

"SHIELD went back to the HYDRA HQ to see if they can get anything.", Steve added. Tony placed his arms around Steve's waist and snuggled in his neck. "You know you promised me a lap dance. And because HYDRA ruined your shopping spree, you're gonna have to do it na-"

"ANTHONY!"

The others could only laugh while Steve's red turned completely red.

* * *

 **(1) - I had to take refer to DC Comics, more specifically Injustice: Gods Among Us. I can't wait for the next game! It looks so fucking cool! Also, for those who don't know who the last line was making a note to it was Scorpion, the fire skull guy from Mortal Kombat.**

 **(2) - Yes, another reference to DC. And I'm sure it's a no-brainer as to who I was talking about. Let's just say, at the time of writing this, I watched Suicide Squad on DVD. And yes... I did see it in theaters.**

 **And speaking of DC Comics... I have decided! I shall write a separate DC v. Marvel crossover fic! I shall! I'm just planning it. In the mean time, enjoy these upcoming chapters.**

 **Also, can anyone guess what HYDRA had done to Sam? To Rene? Anyone?**

 **Review!**


	20. Dodgeballs!

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Disclaimer: Again... I don't own... except Rene, Rana, Kieyana, and other random OCs!**

 **Notes: For those who are concerned if Rana and Kieyana are reappearing, they will! I promise you! Also, this chapter is based on a post I saw. It seemed pretty much and I just had to write it. I had to. NO ONE COULD STOP ME!**

 **Warnings: Same damn warnings.**

* * *

Chapter 20 - Dodgeballs, Dodgeballs, and more Dodgeballs!

A week had passed since the HYDRA incident. SHIELD had pretty much cleaned out the place, finding the missing chemicals and such, coming across the HYDRA members that were left behind as a bonus. None of them talked, of course, too stubborn and loyal to the evil ass organization. Which is why Fury had called in Natasha and Bucky that morning.

The redhead had already been in the kitchen by the time she was called in, eating away at an omelet Peter made her. The teen was trying his hand at cooking and so far, he wasn't doing so bad.

"You know, apparently I'm assigned to train some of the newbies today. So I have to go in, too.", Clint voiced, twirling a fork within his omelet, breaking it into individual parts while eating it. "And I know exactly what activity I want to do."

"Oh? Clint Barton teaching a group of training SHIELD agents? Hm... what a story for the tabloids.", Tony teased. Steve had came up to his side and nudged him. "Leave Clint alone. I think it's great. I think he'll be a good trainer."

"Say that now, Stevie, but you don't know Clint like I do.", Natasha added in, patting her bestie on his shoulders. "Those kids are going to regret having Clint as their coach. Trust me."

"Ooh! I got to see this then!", Wade cheered. "I'm totally going!"

"Same here! Besides, I have nothing else better to do.", Sam added.

"I don't think any of us do. I don't have a project to work or anything.", Bruce agreed. Thor had took a seat next to him. "Yes, I'm also free of any duties."

"Then it's settled, we're taking a field trip to SHIELD HQ, kiddies! Even though I prefer to stay home and cuddle with my Stevie all day.", Tony grumbled. Steve rolled his eyes at that, deciding not to comment on it.

* * *

"OKAY! OKAY! I'LL TALK! I'LL TALK! JUST DON'T HIT ME AGAIN!"

"I wouldn't have to use my pimp hand on you the first time if you just talked.", Natasha hissed, crossing her arms over her chest. The HYDRA agent before nodded, whimpering while his right cheek looked it's been through quite a hard time with Natasha's hand. Obvious evidence. "Now spill the beans and if I ever so have a feeling you're lying I will hunt you down personally and make you regret the day that your parents met and fucked! Now spill!"

"OKAY! OKAY!"

Through the window, Maria Hill and Nick Fury stood there watching the 'interrogation'. Fury had leaned closer to Hill. "Twenty bucks says he's gonna piss himself."

"I'm not even gonna challenge you on that, sir.", the brunette chuckled, knowing that the HYDRA agent probably will. Even without Barnes, who was just standing in a corner amused by the whole situation, Natasha pretty much handled the questioning herself. Within seconds after being slapped around... literally... the captive HYDRA agent began to talk. He told the whole truth on what he knew since he had the common sense not to lie. Would you lie if some assassin was constantly slapping you and threatened you? Especially, if she would go through with the threat?!

They found out that HYDRA was experimented people by using chemicals and wanted to start with a small group in case something happened. But then their leader, who they come to find out wasn't Crossbones, but still remained a mystery, thought it was a grand idea to use the Avengers as guinea pigs first. To say the least, Bucky wasn't happy when he remembered that Sam was indeed one they successfully got one of their serums injected into. He was relieved that Sam was okay, but it worried him as to what the serum would have or already done to him.

"Okay, I got as much info as I could, sir.", Natasha voiced as she and Bucky exited the small room. Fury patted her on the shoulder.

"And I'm quite impressed."

"I wanted it over with. Now Bucky and I have a team date to go to!"

The Director and his agent watched as Bucky and Natasha trotted down the hall, heading in the direction of the gymnasium. "Hm... isn't Barton giving a lesson today?", Maria asked.

Fury nodded. "No wonder they wanted that over with. Want to go watch what happens?"

"At a same distance. This is Clinton Francis Barton we're talking about, sir."

* * *

Ten individuals, young and ready, stood lined up, side to side as their eyes followed the older pacing slowly in front of them. Each of them was nervous due to his intimidating aura, with the added grin as a bonus. Clint was dressed into dark grey sweatpants and a dark purple muscle shirt and sneakers. Each of the trainee agents were dressed in black shorts and a white tee shirt with the SHIELD symbol on the front. When they heard that the infamous Hawkeye was coaching them today they knew it wasn't going to be a walk in the park. He was going to make them _work_ for it.

"So as you know, I'm coaching you today. And as your coach, I decided I want to teach you all coordination, strength, and how to not to get yourself killed. And what better way to do that than..."

The agents yelped when a red ball came flying at Clint who caught it without much of a glance. They looked over and spotted Steve holding an identical ball, a smirk on his face as well. "Dodgeball?", the archer finished as Steve, also dressed in sweats and a muscle tee, came up beside him. The trainees gulped. It was no rocket science assignment to know that Captain fucking America was part of the whole ordeal, too. Shit...

"Agent Barton has asked me and the other Avengers to help out with this lesson. We'll be split into 2 teams.", Steve added as said team came in, all dressed for athletics. Even Bucky and Natasha had shown up, both looking way too eager for this.

"Since this a lesson to teach you that no villain, HYDRA, a Doombot, killer bees, no matter who or what they are will show mercy. They'll attack you anywhere on your body. Anywhere! So feel free to hit someone in the face. But not too hard, please. I don't need Fury on my ass."

"Yeah. I'm the only one who can be on there.", Pietro teased, coming up behind Clint and placing an arm around his waist. The archer nudged him. "We're not doing this right now. Get back." Pietro pouted but listened.

Clint went over to the bleachers and stood on the third row. "Alright, team captains are, of course, me and Agent Romanoff.", he announced as said Russian came to stand to him.

"My team is you first five. Smith, Woodson, Lawtin, Goodwin, and Rojas."

Said five trainees took to Natasha's side.

"My team will have Wolfe, Long, Oliver, Jackson, and Whedon."

The other five went to Clint's side.

The two besties exchanged looks before looking back at the younger agents. "Now let me warn you, no matter what side Dr. Banner is on, please don't try to piss him off. He's the only one you can't hit in the head or face. None of us needs an appearance from Hulk today.", Clint warned. Said brunet raised his hand.

"Do I have to participate in this? I could be the referee, you know."

"Then we'll have an odd number of players, Bruce!"

"I'll play..."

Everyone turned to see Rene walking in the gym, the promoted agent looking as better as ever. "RDJ! You're okay!", Tony smiled.

"Of course, I'm okay. Nothing... nothing major happened to me... to say the least...", Rene replied, muttering the last part.

"Well, since Agent Jadeson is joining us, I guess we have an even number of players now.", Sam voiced as Bruce went to go take a seat nearby. "Hurry up and pick your team mates!"

"Alright, alright! I want... Steve!", Natasha demanded.

"Well, I got Thor!", Clint countered as the blondes went to their respective sides.

"Peter!"

"Wade!"

"Pietro!"

"Wanda!"

"Bucky!"

"Sam!"

"Rhodey!"

"Vision!"

"Shit, Barton. Tony!"

"And Rene!"

As of now, on the left side on Team Hawkeye was Clint, Thor, Wade, Wanda, Sam, Vision, and Rene with the addition of the trainees. On the right on Team Black Widow was Natasha, Steve, Peter, Pietro, Bucky, Rhodey, and Tony with their trainees.

Each team gotten twenty dodgeballs and had colored bands on their arms to show their teams, purple for Clint's and red for Natasha. Bruce sat on the top bleacher, whistle at hand. "Alright, remember no rules, dudes! No rules! Except don't use your powers, Pietro, Wanda, Peter, Wade, Vision and Thor! Or calling on the suits, Rhodey and Tony! We actually have _humans_ on the floor!", he warned before blowing the whistle to start.

And when he did, chaos ensued.

* * *

Within the first ten minutes, Tony, Rhodey, _Bucky_ , _Steve_ , Rojas, Smith, Goodwin and _Vision_ was out of the game. Vision was on the only one from Clint's side of the gym that was. Why? Apparently, Clint was killing it! Of course, Tony and Rhodey were easy targets. But Steve and Bucky?! Clint had managed to get the better of the Avengers' leader when said blonde went to aim at Thor. Clint got him right in the back, bouncing his ball from a wall that flew, narrowly missing Pietro and hitting Steve. Bucky was no better. He almost managed to get Rene out, but he was knocked back by Clint's ball blocking his, resulting in the Winter Soldier's ball to come back at him like a bad habit and whacking him in the chest. Apparently, Clint wasn't just good with arrows.

Now Vision got out from Natasha, who was hellbent on losing most of her team. Seven of out 12 was _bad_. Which meant _terrible_ for the next few throws.

The redhead went to aim her dodgeball at rookie Jackson who had just gotten Lawtin out. The trainee saw the red ball coming at her fast and ducked while also using a ball she picked up at last minute to deflect it. Because Natasha's ball was thrown _hard_ , it practically cut the air. When it was forced into another direction, everyone had stiffened when it collided with the side of _Bruce's_ head. The brunet stilled, frozen in a leaned position as he tried to understand what the hell happened. His brown eyes slowly brightened into a neon green as his skin started to change into said toxic color.

"Oh... shit...", Wade whimpered.

Thor was quick to react, quickly rushing to Bruce's side and placing his arms around him. "Bruce, Bruce. Don't let the Hulk out. Control him. No one meant to hit you."

The brunet exhaled sharply, calming down since Thor's warmth was engulfing him. His skin went back to normal and his eyes darkened. "I'm good. I'm good. Hulk's fine, guys!", he called out.

One trainee, Oliver, came from behind a pressing bench. "Whoo! Good!", he exhaled. He noticed a ball coming at him and ducked. Said ball had smacked Thor right in the chest as he was coming down from the bleachers. The blonde fell back between the third and fourth bleacher. Bruce gasped and went down as Steve and Bucky helped the god up. "Thor, are you okay?!"

"I'm fine, Bruce. It would take more than a red ball to hurt me."

"Steve knocked you out with a pillow before.", Tony recalled. Bruce smacked him on the back of the head.

"Ow!"

"Shut up. Who threw that ball?"

Natasha pointed Peter. "He did!"

The teen scoffed in disbelief. "Aunt Natasha! Stop lying! You threw it!"

"No, I didn't!"

"Yes, you did! You're just mad because Clint's getting everyone on our team and-"

Peter was hit then, interrupting his statement. Natasha whipped around and saw Wade and Clint high five each other. "Sorry, baby boy! You know I love you, right?!", the Merc with the Mouth chuckled nervously as Peter glared at him. He turned to the other spider themed Avenger. "Get him."

"My pleasure."

Wade didn't expect a ball to whack him in the face, knocking him unconscious. Vision came over and threw him over his shoulder before placing him on the bleachers. Wade began muttering nonsense as Peter came over and placed the older's head in his lap. "Next time, don't test me.", the teen giggled.

Now who all remained was Clint, Wanda, Sam, Rene, Wolfe, Long, Oliver, Whedon, and Jackson on Team Hawkeye. Natasha, Pietro, Woodson and Rojas remained on Team Black Widow. Nine against four wasn't good. And it damn sure wasn't pleasing Natasha.

"Alright, Barton! I had enough of this bullshit! Pietro! Get them!"

The speedster grinned. "Let's have some fun, shall we?"

Within ten seconds, he got out Long, Sam, Whedon, Oliver, and Jackson. For payback, Clint got out Woodson and Rojas.

Now it was four to two.

"Pietro Maximoff, you shall pay!", the archer promised, getting ready to toss his ball at his younger boyfriend. And when he did... shit just hit the fan.

The moment Pietro saw the round red object flying at him, he ducked. And that ball... that fucking ball nailed _Natasha Romanoff_... right in the head...

Everyone froze the second they heard a grunt, a thud and an echoing bounce of the ball as it went to the floor. It got so silent in the gym that the only thing you could hear was... silence! Not even breathing! It was hard too when you realized that one of the most deadliest people of SHIELD... no, in the whole WORLD got hit with a dodgeball. Nobody knew fear until that moment, and nobody knew fear like Clinton Barton.

Despite his love for competition and the enjoyment of whacking others with balls, he tried his damnest to avoid his best friend the whole game. Why?

The last time he hit her with something, he was scarred for nearly three months. That is all. No explaining. That's why they don't talk about Budapest.

Regardless, he knew the punishment that was to follow when he saw the redhead's killer glare. "..."

"..."

"Shit!"

Nobody couldn't even blink an eye before Clint had ran across the gym, jumped on some equipment and took his place in the rafters above. Natasha had followed him and was close to grabbing his ankle, but Clint's ass was quicker. She grunted in anger as he disappeared out of sight with added whimpers. "ARGH! CLINTON FRANCIS BARTON! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!"

"NATASHA, I'M SORRY! I WASN'T AIMING FOR YOU! I PROMISE I WASN'T!", came the tearful answer.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU REGARDLESS, YOU ASSHOLE!"

"Natasha! Natasha!", Steve shouted, holding the redhead back when she tried climbing up. "You're not killing Clint. Besides, he didn't mean it. He didn't."

"He's gonna dead nonetheless."

"Natasha Romanoff." The redhead pouted, crossing her arms at her team mate's 'Captain Mother' voice. "You're not killing Clint. You're not ging to touch him at all. He already apologized."

"I don't care!"

"Natasha, you better-"

Steve didn't have a moment to finish before Natasha pushed him out the way and started scaling the walls with a pair of knifes she had hidden somewhere. And there's no way someone was going to ask. The trainees gulped, deciding it was best to just sit at the bleachers where Bruce was sitting. Wolfe turned to the doctor. "Um... Dr. Banner?"

"Yes?"

"Is she really going to kill him?"

"Depends on how this plays out. Maybe, maybe not. Clint escapes death on the regular."

* * *

It took ten minutes for Natasha to be stopped from climbing up the wall. They were grateful for Peter and Wade then. Like really grateful. The Russian was calmed down a little when they fetched Maria, who indeed seen everything from the security room. The brunette talked Natasha into breathing and letting go of her anger before escorting her out the gym.

As for Clint?

They tried calling him down, but the archer was either scared out of his mind or stubborn. He didn't answer at all. Hell, they weren't even sure if he was in the building anymore.

He didn't answer them for three hours! Three hours! They would have gave up, but Pietro was deeply concerned for his boyfriend. So they stayed, sending the trainees out since the lesson was obviously over with. Rene left, claiming it was too early to deal with nonsense.

"Clint? Clint? Buddy? Please give us a sign that you haven't went into shock!", Sam called out to the archer's hiding place. Still no answer.

Pietro huffed. "I need a ladder."

"Pietro..."

"Wanda, that's my boyfriend up there! My hawk! I have to see he's okay!"

"Pietro, he is okay. I can still sense him in the vents.", the female twin deadpanned.

The speedster blinked. "Oh... I forgot you can do that."

"Yup. You always forget I could do that. Um... so he's okay?"

"Very much so. As a matter of fact..."

"Hey, guys." The group looked up and spotted their archer hanging upside from an opened ceiling tile. He looked completely out of it... but then again, this was Clint. When is he isn't?

"Clint, are you okay? You've been up there for hours, man.", Rhodey reminded, crossing his arms.

The archer bit his lip before answering. "I'm alive. Which is the best I could do for now."

"Why don't you come down here so we can go home, buddy? We can watch that new movie with the cowboys and Denzel! Denzel!", Wade offered. (1)

Clint shook his head. "No. Natasha's gonna kill me."

"She isn't.", Vision assured.

"She will."

"It's okay, Clint. She's gone.", Bucky tried.

The blonde shook his head again. "NO, SHE ISN'T! SHE'S JUST HIDING! I KNOW SHE IS!"

"Clint..."

"Come and get me when she's a Steve!"

And with that, the archer went back into his hiding place. The remaining crew blinked, not sure what just went on. "Wh-What did he mean a 'Steve'?", the leader questioned.

"He meant when Natasha's all cute and cuddly like you, babe.", Tony answered, smirking as he watched his love of his life blush. "Now we got to find a way to get Clint from up there."

"No we don't."

The others turned, blinking in fear to see that the very reason why Clint hid up in the rafters was standing too close for comfortable next to them. "Um... hi, Aunt Nat.", Peter greeted. The redhead strolled past him in her usual hardcore aura and stood a stance in front of the group. She glared upwards, hands on her hips. "Clint, come on, buddy! Come down from there!"

"No!", came a stubborn answer.

Natasha frowned.

"Clint! Look, I promise I won't hurt you! Come down, please!"

"You're lying! Last time you promised that you were going to hurt me, you did! Liar!"

"Well, I'll keep to that promise this time, okay?! I forgive you!"

No verbal reply came back. Which totally meant Clint decided to ignore her. That didn't please Natasha or anyone else as minutes past, silent and lacking Clint's voice. Rhodey sighed, crossing his arms and shaking his head. "You know what? He's acting a child, I'm hungry, it's getting late, and this whole situation is ridiculous. I'm going home now.", he grumbled, starting to take off before Thor grabbed him and turned him back around. "Iron Brother 2, we mustn't leave our fellow team mate alone! He is in need of our comfort!"

"I'm going to pretend you didn't call me that... again..."

"Look, if we all want to go home then we better come up with a plan to get Clint down from there fast!", Bruce demanded.

The others stiffened, noticing just how serious he was. The added quick change of green in his eyes emphasized his point.

"Alright, alright. How about one of us just go up there and pull him out?", Bucky suggested.

"Seems like something we should have done in the first place...", Sam mumbled.

"Try as you might, I will tase you!", Clint threatened, actually hearing their conversation from above. "Nothing is going to get me from down here! NOTHING!"

"Not even for me, my little hawk?", Pietro pouted.

"Not even."

"Cruel."

"I try."

"Fuck it. I know how I'm going to get him down.", Natasha hissed before leaving the gym again. She ordered for some mats to be placed down in the middle of the gym to 'get ready'... for something.

The others waited for whatever Natasha's plan was to execute.

"What do you think she's going to do?", Steve pondered, worried for Clint's safety.

His answer came with a whirring sound from above and through the walls. The temperature suddenly went down, forcing some of the heroes to cuddle with anyone near them. Natasha had returned just as a blast of wind and a shout could be hear. Seconds later, Clint came flying out, landing right on the mats. He didn't even get a chance to register what happened before his bestie pounced on him,knocking him down. Clint thrashed under her, whining like a teen who just got their fucking phone taken away. "No! Nat, please!"

"Shut up, Clinton!"

Natasha shifted so that they were chest to chest, allowing her to wrap her limbs around him like a koala bear, hugging him. Clint stilled while the others blinked, Pietro fuming a little in jealously.

"..."

The female agent nuzzled in his neck and patted his dark blond locks. "I didn't mean to scare you, Clint. I know you didn't mean it. I'm not going to kill you or do I plan to. Now stop this shit and let's go home. We'll pig out to some snacks and watch some bad rom-coms. Deal?", Natasha offered, sitting up and allowing Clint more room. He just pulling his legs closer to him, nodding. Natasha patted his knee before standing up. "Good. It's all over now."

"..."

"Clint, if you think I'm going to try to kill you in your sleep I won't. I apologize for making you believe I would."

"I just thought you were going to kill me regardless."

"No. I need you alive. Besides, where are we going to find another archer like you?"

"No where!", Pietro answered, lifting Clint onto his back. He turned to Natasha, his eyes narrowed. "Don't ever scare my bird like that again... _or else_.", he hissed. To admit, the others had to give Pietro props for actually threatening Natasha. Even if she didn't look the least bit scared or nervous. This is the Black Widow, baby, after all.

* * *

 **(1) - Yeah, you already know what movie I'm talking about. If you don't... it's the 'Magnificient Seven'.**

 **Believe or not, this chapter was done little over a week ago. The reason it hasn't been up? I was hella sick. I barely wanted to get out of my bed. But I made it work. I'm still sick, but I'm doing better. And being sick and laying in bed I was able to continue my planning on my Marvel/DC crossover. That's right, peeps! I'm fucking doing it!**

 **The next few chapters will actually set off some details in the crossover. I won't spoil it for you... okay, a little. I headcannoned a few ideas. I know I am not the only one to think that if Nightwing and Spiderman met they would probably instantly become friends. Think about it! Just think about it!**

 **Also, there's a reason why Gwen is mentioned once or twice before. I'll let you guess on that.**

 **Alright, so... um... is there anything I want to say? Hmm...**

 **Just review...**


	21. The Visit Not a Horror Movie

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Disclaimer: If I owned Marvel, there would already have been some movies and shows that should happen... HAPPEN! But who I do have ownership of is back in this chapter! That's right!**

 **Notes: Also, (in Deadpool voice) spoiler alert! You get to find out what that serum did to Sam. For those that are aware of the comics, you got a clue. And this chapter is like one of those kinda short chapters, you know? Just wanted to vary the size of my chapters.**

 **Warnings: Um... pretty much the same warnings. Unless you don't like my goddesses, Rana and Kieyana.**

 **I came to realize that Steve actually had the balls to threaten Natasha. In 'Cap 2: The Winter Soldier', when he confronts her about the drive he says "I'm not going to ask you again." or something like that. The last time I was informed, when someone says that it usually means "I will fucking hurt you." Dude, Steve, chill, alright. You know you're too panicky or not right in the head when you threaten the Black Widow.**

* * *

Chapter 21 - The Visit... Not a Horror Movie

"Isn't this pretty?"

"It is cute. These mortals sure do have taste in clothing."

"Ooh! This is too fierce! Brings out my eyes!"

"Ki-Ki, hurry up and buy something. I'm hungry."

"Chicken?"

"..."

"I'm sorry. Pizza then."

"Agreed."

* * *

"Why can't you make it larger?"

"It's... it's not required we do, miss."

"Well, how about extra cheese, pepperoni and ham? Can you do that?"

"Um... I believe we can. It's going to cost extra though."

"I don't care. Just bring me two large pizzas with extra cheese, pepperoni and ham. And three liters of that clear soda."

"Sprite?"

"Yeah, that! Make it snappy, too!"

"Yes, miss!"

Lavender tinted eyes watched as the young man walked to the back, frantically shouting the order.

"You didn't have to be so... pushy."

"I'm hungry! I told you that!"

"Calm down, birdie!"

A huff was the reply. The young man came back with the boxes of pizza and liters of soda. He passed it over the corner, carefully since he was a bit weary of the woman's glare.

She got the boxes, balancing them with one hand with ease while her friend carrying the soda like no big whoop. The duo walked out, heading out to a black sleek Kia, and jumping in, ignoring the stares people was giving them. The purple and black clad female grabbed a piece of cheesy, meaty pizza and stuck it in her mouth, starting the car. "Alright. So where off to next?"

"Why don't we see our favorite little rag tag team of cuties?"

"Ooh! Great idea! Besides, there's two little chicks I must see."

"You adopted the other one, didn't you?"

"How long have you've not been acknowledged of that fact?"

"... I've been acknowledged... it seemed it was bound to happen anyways."

"Jealous there isn't one that has a gimmick of a fox?"

"Nope! I already have a little cub! Now get to driving!"

* * *

Tap, tap, tap.

"Hey. Hey, buddy."

Tap, tap, tap.

"Hey, hey! Wake up!"

Tap, tap-

"Keep touching my arm and I'm not going to hesitate to fuck you up."

Pietro quickly stepped back from the waking Winter Solder, hands up in surrender. Wanda had been walking past and giggled at the scene before happily chewing a cookie. Pietro could only glare his sister. Bucky sat up, stretching his mix-matched arms from his recent nap. He glared at the speedster when the younger turned back to him. Seeing that the glare was as deadly as they come, Pietro gulped and took another few steps back.

"..."

"Why in the hell did you wake me up, Maximoff?"

"... um... why did I wake you... oh yeah! It's Sam! He's going through some... phase..."

Bucky was up on his feet in less in a second, his eyes wide in alarm.

"What do you mean by that? What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know. He's just... well.. come see for yourself."

The brunette followed the blonde with a rush in his steps and all promises to kill him from interrupting his nap gone from his mind. As of now, he was only occupied with the thoughts of "Sam, Sam, Sam, Sammy, Sam-Sam, my Sam" like a broken record. Pietro had lead him to one of the other lounge rooms, pointing further forward to the balcony. The brunette walked on further, hoping not to see his bird of a cinnamon roll hurt or worse. Instead, much to his relief, Sam appeared okay, but he looked... confused? Out of it? Whatever the case, it puzzled Bucky that Sam was... searching for something? He was checking over the balcony's rails, looking up and even moved the chairs. After a while, Bucky walked up to his side.

"Hey, ba- WHOA!"

He quickly ducked from the swing Sam executed from being startled. In reaction to that, he grabbed the other's arm, spun him around and pulled him close enough so their noses almost touched. He smirked, seeing that Sam was now both embarrassed and flushed. "Let me try that again. Hey, babe. What's going on with you?"

"Um... well..."

 **"Hey! Hey!"**

Sam whipped around, glancing about in alarm. Bucky blinked, now questioning his boyfriend's weird behavior. "Sam? Is something the matter?"

"You didn't hear that?", the Falcon asked, separating himself from the other, his eyes still going about.

"Hear what?"

 **"Hey! You!"**

"That! Someone is shouting at me!"

Bucky began to copy Sam's actions, just less loony. He saw it was no one. Not even one of their friends was nearby. He would know if they were.

"Sam, no one said anything. It's just you and I out here."

Sam pouted, not totally convinced. He honestly felt like someone was playing a trick on him.

"You sure?"

"I'm positive. I didn't hear anyone."

"Hm. I guess it was-"

 **"Go get me some damn crackers! Or a bagel or something!"**

Okay! Something is definitely not right here! Sam's chocolate gaze whipped back around and saw it was indeed no one, but hoping he wasn't going crazy. There's already Wade that they had to deal with. They don't need another insane Wilson running around the Tower.

"Bucky, I honestly think someone is fucking with me because someone keeps speaking to me! I don't even recognize the voice!"

"Well, unless that pigeon is talking to you then..."

Wait. Hold up.

Sam followed to where Bucky gesturing, finding there was indeed a damn pigeon perched on the railing like nobody's business. Sam only stared at it, not really noticing it before. The bird was staring back, obviously not going away even if the couple had decided to... never mind.

"Um..."

 **"Hey! I want something to eat! Please? I'm sorry I was so demanding before."**

Bucky realized that Sam hadn't moved for a while, only engaged with staring at the pigeon before them. He was about to say something, but Sam beat him to the punch.

"Bucky... I think that bird _is_ talking to me..."

* * *

CLANK! CLANK!

She didn't bother to turn around to catch a certain archer crawling right out of his usual hiding spot with a smirk on his face. "Hey, Clint, where did you come from?", she questioned.

"My room.", he answered, snatching up an apple that Natasha was about to cut up. She didn't retort, just grabbed another apple.

"Hm."

The two stood there in silence, hearing nothing but the sounds of an apple crunching from being bitten while another was being sliced. And that only lasted for a few seconds before the sounds of footsteps came rushing in. The two assassins looked up in time to see Bucky run into the kitchen, panic written all over his face. He had wasted no time going over to the fridge and opening it. They watched as he grabbed a couple of water bottles, slammed the fridge hard enough to make it shake, and rush out like his ass was on fire. Clint and Natasha glanced at each other before walking out the kitchen to seek out wherever Bucky ran out to. They eventually found him in the den, handing Sam a bottle, the slightly shorter of the two looking ever bit of shook up about something. The others were there, too, gathered around him. Steve had took a seat by his right and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Okay, Sam. Just breathe, calm down, and tell us what is going on.", the blonde cooed, rubbing his bestie's back. Sam exhaled and took a sip of his water. When he was collected enough, he spoke up.

"I honestly think I'm going nuts, Steve.", he admitted, eerily eyeing towards the opened balcony where a pigeon was indeed perched on the railing. Sam whimpered when it chirped. Bruce took notice of this, looking between the bird and Sam. His eyes widened.

"Sam... please tell me that you're not _afraid_ of birds now."

The other shook his head. "No. But it has to do with birds."

"Sam believes that he can talk to birds now.", Bucky voiced, glaring at the pigeon that seem to equally hate him. "I believe him because that bird won't stop harassing him!"

"I would say that whole theory is stupid and completely impossible, but we do have a spider powered teen here, two super soldiers, an android, enhanced powered humans... so yeah, sounds like the least craziest thing ever really.", Tony added, rubbing his chin. "Maybe you can talk to birds because of that serum HYDRA shot in you when you were kidnapped."

"That's probably why SHIELD couldn't find anything life threatening before. That serum wasn't meant to be life threatening.", Peter suggested.

Sam appeared to be calmer now, but still weary of the pigeon that was watching them. "You know, as a kid I always wanted to talk to birds and understand them, but now I'm slowly regretting that."

"Maybe not all the birds are annoying. What is that one saying to you?", Wanda asked.

"It keeps asking for food other than bird seeds. Preferably, a bagel or fruit."

"I got this!", a feminine, chirpy voice blurted.

The group yelped, jumping and taking cover for any attack. Seconds later, they glanced up and saw two women sitting on a lounge chair near the balcony. The purple and black clad one was giving the pigeon a couple pieces of fruit out of a bowl while the other, dressed in shades of pink, waved at the group with a kitty face. "Nice to see you again, cuties!"

Recognizing the voices, Thor gasped. "Lady Kieyana! Lady Rana!"

"Yup! So what's this nonsense I hear about my chick, Sam, being kidnapped and injected with some substance that could have been life threatening?", Rana questioned sternly, purple wisps swishing around her before disappearing, showing her true goddess form.

Wade chuckle nervously, hearing the danger in the bird goddess' tone. "Uh... see it's kind of a long story."

"I have time for it.", Rana deadpanned.

Rhodey stepped up. "Rana, trust us. It's a story you don't want to hear about. By the way, how long...?"

"Rana and I were there the whole time, just invisible. Wanted to surprise you.", Kieyana answered, also going into her goddess form. Her nine tails moved back and forth behind her as she glanced around the room. "Where's my little cub?"

"I reckon you're talking about Rene.", Natasha stated before eating a slice of an apple.

The fox nodded. "Of course! Where is he?"

"We don't know. Rene doesn't live with us. He's probably back at his place or SHIELD Headquarters.", Steve answered.

Kieyana pouted. "Well, bring him back here."

"Again, we don't know where he could be."

"Well, summon him."

"Miss Kieyana..."

"Bring him here, oh golden angelic one.", the goddess pleaded, adding a quivering bottom lip and teary eyes to match. Steve sighed, ultimately giving in.

"Fine."

Tony chuckled, crossing his arms. "How does it feel when someone uses their innocent charm on you, babe?"

"Is this how you feel when I bat my eyelashes at you? Defeated?"

"And when you soften your voice and feel up on me? Yes. Defeated."

"Ah. FRIDAY, can you call Rene, please?"

 **"Dialing him now, sir."**

The group heard ringing and soon the line picking up.

 _"Hello?"_

"Rene, bring your ass to the Tower this instance!", Pietro teasingly demanded.

On the other side of the line, Rene could be heard sighing. _"Seriously? I just got out of the shower! Is this an emergency? If not, I will shoot you and then report you to Director Fury."_ , he hissed, the sound of a door opening in the background.

"Yes! Big emergency!", Wanda added, Vision just staring at her.

 _"Are you lying to me?"_

"RDJ, just get our ass over here!", Clint said. By now, Sam was over the whole bird thing. But he noticed a few birds, two or three, on the balcony now. One of them was indeed a parakeet.

 _"Fine! Fine! I'm putting on clothes right now."_ , he groaned, mumbling in a curse in a language that went too fast to be translated. He hung up, signifying that the convo was over and he would be coming over. Bruce glimpsed over to Kieyana. "Satisfied?", he sassed amusingly, a hip cocked to the side and arms crossed. The fox nodded giddily. "Yup!"

"So kidnapping story?", Rana quirked, eyeing the group. Tony, Wade, Rhodey, Pietro, Vision, Bucky and Thor gulped while Steve, Peter, Natasha, Clint, Wanda, Sam and Bruce blushed, looking every bit of bashful.

* * *

By the time the tale of HYDRA kidnapping was over, no one leaving out anything because they knew Rana and Kieyana would coax it out of them anyways, Rene had arrived at the Tower. He had took his motorcycle there, which was parked in the garage when FRIDAY allowed him access. He was lead to the den, walking in just in time to hear Rana scream, "HOW DARE THEY THINK THEY CAN HARM MY BIRDS! I WILL EAT THEM FOR FUCKING BREAKFAST, LUNCH AND DINNER! FUCKING HYDRA BASTARDS!" Rene's eyes widened, seeing the goddess fuming in the middle of the room. "Um... is this a bad time?"

They spotted Rene approaching them, a small frown on his rosy lips. "What's the emergency?", he questioned, seeing that everything, for once, looked intact. Kieyana sped to his side, wrapping her arms around him and nuzzling him, tails waving back and forth in happiness. "I'm the emergency, cub! I wanted to see you!" Rene just hugged her back, knowing it was best to. "It's nice to see you, too, Kieyana.", he deadpanned once she let go. Although, the fox goddess had suddenly sniffed him, circling him in wonder.

"Hm. You smell differently than last time, my fox."

"Maybe because last time I washed in strawberry smoothie body wash and not chocolate swirl."

Kieyana shook her head. "No. Your scent has always been sweet, but this time... it's more... almost mythical about it." The group as now intrigued that Kieyana had stopped behind Rene and ran her fingers through his hair. She blinked, moving his lengthen hair forward a bit, also moving his black beanie. "Oh dear..."

"What?", Rene questioned, a bit creeped out by the close contact and the fact that someone was in his hair.

"Um... your hair."

"What about it?"

"This strand... it isn't the same color as the rest of it."

Bruce walked over, glasses on his face. He stepped next to Kieyana and blinked, finding what she found. "She's right. Your hair seems to be turning another color, unless you just dyed this part of your hair."

Rene frowned. "I haven't."

"So your hair is changing color."

"What color?"

"It's um... lavender."

"I like that color!", Rana exclaimed. As of now, she was hugging both Sam and Clint. Both of the Bird Bros looked okay with it. Clint was on his phone while Sam was mindlessly staring at the balcony. There was now just a single pigeon on the railing, cooing softly at him.

"That one is less annoying."

"I'm surprised at how well you're taking this. Hearing birds and understanding them.", Pietro admitted. "It's only been a couple of hours."

"Well, I dealt with crazier before. Besides, that one is just telling me about her day. It went pretty good so far from what I'm hearing."

 **"You are a good listener, human."** , the bird chirped happily. Rana glanced over to the bird with a bright smile. **"A worthy one. How are you, my bird?"**

 **"Just fine, thank you, Goddess Rana. And yourself?"**

 **"Just fine."**

The others could only blink at the conversation going on between the pigeon and Rana. While the bird chirped, Rana was speaking in a language that they heard her speak before. It wasn't like any language they would be familiar with. Only Clint and Sam understood it. Not even Thor who wasn't using Allspeak at the moment.

"Anyways... Rene, you wouldn't mind if I take you to the clinic to make sure you're okay? I don't want to risk it.", Bruce suggested. Rene nodded, trusting him. They headed out the room, Kieyana following close behind.

When they were out of sight, Steve spoke up. "I hope Rene is okay. He looks fine, but I got this _bad_ feeling." Peter had jumped the blonde, landing on his stomach pressed onto Steve's lap. "Same. My spidey sense is tingling.", he added as Steve ran fingers through his hair. He slapped Wade's hand away. Tony had laughed.

"If there is anything going on, should it be reported back to Fury?", Rhodey questioned.

"I say let Rene decide on that one. Besides, Fury admires him enough to not get mad at him.", Natasha answered. "Now, who wants to play Uno?"

* * *

When Bruce, Rene and Kieyana came back from the clinic they were met with a loud shout of "FUCK THIS GAME! FUCK THESE CARDS! FUCK YELLOW! AND FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!" They spotted colorful Uno cards scattered on the den's floor, Pietro growled and glaring at everyone. Bucky and Wanda was on the floor laughing, Wanda's head in Vision's lap who tried to calm her down. Thor, Peter and Steve stood a couple of feet away,shook up. Wade and Tony had high fived each other, snickering. Rhodey, Natasha, Sam and Clint looked every bit of deadpanned. Rana was sitting on the coffee table, watching Pietro rant with interest and amusement. "YOU FUCKING CHEATERS! STARK, WILSON, I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE, YOU ASSBUTTS!"

"We'll be waiting.", Tony teased, walking over to Steve and placing his arms around his love's waist. "For now, I shall enjoy my victory."

"Dad, you and Wade are so cruel.", Peter voiced as said Merc lifted him.

"Ah, babe. We're just having fun. Besides, Tony and I are getting along!"

"Well, I don't know if I should say that is a pro or con.", Sam commented.

"It depends on the day.", Clint added.

"What happened here?", Bruce asked, stepping over a Wild Draw Four card.

"Uno Chaos. Rene, are you doing okay?", Natasha asked. Rene nodded, sighing at the feel of one of Kieyana's nine tails wrapping around him. "Yeah. Doctor Banner found that my cells seem to be going through a slow change. Kind of like a late mutation. Other than that, my life isn't in danger."

"And it won't be, my little one.", Kieyana added darkly, thinking about the evil group, HYDRA.

"That's good to hear. Stay for dinner?", Steve asked. Rene shrugged, not seeing any harm in it. Kieyana and Rana perked up at the words. "We are, too, Mr. Hot Stuff!", the bird goddess declared. Steve ignored the nickname, Tony nuzzling his neck when he heard it, and just shrugged. Sam had sat up from his position on the couch, Bucky taking the spot so the younger could cuddle on him.

"Well, since we're inviting folks to dinner..."

"Sam, just because you learned you can talk to birds doesn't mean you can invite a whole flock."

"Damn it."

* * *

 **Okay, so as a kid I use to watch this anime show called 'Hamtaro'. I'm sure of some of you remember it or whatever, but I just want to point out that I came to realize something about three names of three of the hamsters. One is named 'Stucky'. STUCKY! Like Steve x Bucky! (BTW, that is one of my OTPs.) Another is named 'Cappy'. I swear I might have Tony and everyone else start calling Steve that. And the last name that caught my attention was 'Stan'. Like Sebastian STAN! Or STAN Lee! Guys! Guys! I am done!**

 **Any-biscuits, favorite, follow, and review!**


	22. Cousin-in-Law?

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Disclaimer: Only the OCs that have shown up so far is who I own. Everyone else is of Marvel property.**

 **Notes: Who has seen the trailers for Thor: Ragnarok?! Thor's face when Hulk shows up was me. (Spoiler) I can't wait for that movie to come out. Anyways, this is another cameo chapter. And I hope you guys love this one. Since chapter... 10, 'Foxy Matchmaker', I've been waiting to add this Marvel character. She's one of my favorite Marvel women with Black Widow, Scarlet Witch, Gamora, Miss America Chavez, Misty Knight and others to name, but I don't want to take up much of your reading time.**

 **Warnings: Different day, same warnings. Unless you don't ship ThunderHulk. Come on, you should have seen it coming since chapter 8! I'm up for any pairing, alright? Some I favor over others. Others I don't gravitate to... *stare* and no, I'm not giving you a list of my OTPs and NoTPs and BroTPS... no! NO! Too many fandoms, too many different pairings I like, no, just no.**

 **Guys... I get feels, too. And as a fanfic writer it happens a lot when I watch or read stuff.**

* * *

Chapter 22 - Cousin-in-Law?

"I wonder what's going on with him?"

A bluish-green gaze met a deep brown one before glancing back at the brunette that was pacing happily back and forth nearby. Bruce was actively chatting on his voice, answering in a happy tone with a bright smile on his face. The others seem to not notice, but Clint and Sam was watching him, both eating cookies Steve recently baked.

"I can't wait to see you! It's been too long! I know, I know. We're both busy, but I'm glad you'll be in New York. Of course, you can stay at the Tower. Wait, I should ask-"

"Whoever you're talking to tell them they can stay at the Tower.", Tony voiced in, not looking up from his laptop.

Bruce blushed, realizing how loud he was talking. "Sorry. Thanks, Tony."

"You're welcome, Science Bro."

The other brunette went back to the phone. "You can stay at the Tower. Yup! Okay, I'll see you later." Once Bruce hung up, Natasha slid to Bruce's side, looping an arm around his shoulders. "So who was that?"

"Just a friend of mine.", Bruce answered quickly.

"Just a friend? I thought it would have been a girlfriend from how you were talking.", Rhodey teased, which caught Thor's attention. Bruce had shook his head. "Oh no. Far from it actually."

"Oh? Not a lady friend?", Bucky asked, wiggling his eyebrows. No one caught Thor's frown.

Bruce shook his head again. "N-no! Well, she's a lady and a friend, but not like that, Bucky. You'll see her today."

"Can't wait to meet her, Bruce.", Steve smiled. Another blonde in the room couldn't wait to meet her, too.

* * *

It was an hour later when Peter, Bruce, Clint and Steve headed out to the grocery store. The four of them was currently in the breakfast aisle, Peter dumping boxes of name brand cereal in one of the carts. Steve had stopped him, crossing his arms and giving a small shake of his head. "Peter, that's too much cereal."

Peter narrowed his eyes. "Pops... you obviously forgot how many people live in that building and how many of them have metabolism."

Steve's arms went down and his face went blank. "You're right. Just make sure you get about three boxes of the Lucky Charms. We don't want another Hulk incident."

Bruce looked up from the small boxes he was holding. "Damn it, Steve! It was just one time!"

From behind him, holding up breakfast bars, Clint laughed. "Yeah, but we still have to be careful! Who knew the Hulk loves Lucky Charms?!" The archer suddenly fell over, just as a woman walked into the aisle. He glanced up to see her judging eyes and smiled. "Sorry, it's been a while since I possessed a body." Steve, Peter, and Bruce can admit that they never seen anyone move so fast before. Clint got to his feet as if nothing happened, picked up the dropped breakfast bars and dumped them in one of the shopping carts.

He felt eyes on and met with Bruce's questioning brown ones. He shrugged. "Hey, something Nat told me to do the next time I trip in public. It worked."

"We can see that. Hey, what flavor should I get for Thor this time?"

At the question, the archer smirked, drawing real close to Bruce while wiggling his brows. "Oh? Getting Pop Tarts for Thor?"

Bruce nodded, not paying any attention. "Yeah. He asked me to so I told him I would. I am his friend, aren't I?"

"A friend?"

"Clint, leave Bruce alone. Bruce, go for the marshmallow. I don't think he tried that flavor yet.", Steve voiced, knowing exactly what Clint was doing.

The other blond groaned before walking off to the next aisle, pulling Peter with him. The teen blinked, not sure of what was going on and was only concerned for his chosen boxes of cereal. When they were out of sight, Steve took to Bruce's side. "You know he's teasing, right?"

Bruce just eyed him, shrugging a bit. "I don't understand."

Steve looked for any sarcasm in Bruce's eyes and found none. Oh... he was really clueless. "Are... you don't know?"

"Know what?", the doctor asked, blinking. The super soldier took a step back, shaking his head. "Nothing. You'll realize it-"

"INCOMING!"

From the shout, Bruce and Steve ducked as a shopping cart was tossed their way. They looked up from the floor and saw a stone colored figure being tossed as well. They realized that said figure was actually Rhino... Spider-Man's enemy. "Shit. Peter, where-"

"Right here, Pops!", Peter hollered as he and Clint ran up to the two. The archer looked every bit of giddy about something. "Dude! You will not believe who is fighting that stony motherfucker!"

"You bitch! I'm going to kill you!", said villain shouted, getting up from a pile of fallen cans.

"You got to get up off your fat rocky ass first, you son of a bitch.", a feminine, yet strong voice answered back. From the sound of it, Bruce's eyes lit up. He and the other three turned to the other end of the aisle, catching the sight of a rather tall woman. And her height wasn't the most abnormal thing about her. Her skin was tinted green, her long hair a darker shade of it. Her eyes were narrowed and an intoxicating emerald. She was adorned in a sleeveless leotard that was colored a grape purple on the outsides and white in the middle, the suit emphasizing the amazing legs and arms she possessed. She also wore matching sneakers and fingerless gloves. "Now come at me, bro.", she grinned, punching one hand into another.

Rhino charged at her, just narrowly missing trampling Peter, Clint, Steve and Bruce. The woman grabbed him and threw him to the entrance of the store. He crashed through the doors, skidding across the parking lot. He couldn't prevent himself from being knocked unconscious by a pole. The green skinned woman smirked, wiping her hands before she glanced at the four males on the tiled floor. "What's up, Bruce?!", she chuckled, winking at Bruce. Said brunet leaped to his feet and ran at her, jumping the taller one and hugging her. "Jenny!"

Clint, Peter, and Steve exchanged glances before looking back at the two.

"Hold up! Bruce, you know _the She-Hulk_?!", Clint squealed.

Bruce nodded, getting back on his feet. "Of course I do! She's my cousin!"

"WHAT?!"

* * *

"Wait a minute. I figured you two did know each other because you know... Hulk... She-Hulk... but I would never had guessed you two were fucking related!"

Bruce nodded to Sam's statement, his said cousin sitting happily beside him. She was now dressed in simple comfortable clothes, black sweatpants, white socks and a tee shirt. Her hair was even placed in a messy bun. Jennifer, or Jenny, also known as the She-Hulk, placed her arm around her shorter cousin, smiling brightly. "Yup! Thanks to this wonderful relative of mine, I survived an accident!"

"Oh... really?", Vision questioned, interested. Bruce shrugged. "Yeah. Jenny got into an accident and she had to have a blood transfusion. Fortunately, we had the same blood type, but by then the Hulk was in my system."

"So pretty much you shared your Hulk DNA with your cousin, saving her.", Bucky concluded.

"Not that I meant to."

"But I'm glad he did. Personally, I'm fine being the She-Hulk. It's pretty fun and I'm not ashamed of my looks. Sure, I can actually change in and out like my cousin, but I just... feel more comfortable as She-Hulk.", Jenny added before ruffling Bruce's hair. "I'm grateful for my cousin. And really, he's always been like a brother to me."

"And you, a sister."

"I can't believe it.", Tony mumbled, shaking his head. The others glanced his way.

"Can't believe what?", Wade questioned.

"I can't believe Bruce is related to one of the best lawyers known! Dude, all the times we almost got arrested in public-"

"Tony, that was just once! Besides, that was your fault!"

"No it wasn't! He provoked it!"

"I was there. You literally shouted, 'FIGHT ME, BITCH!' You did that.", Bucky added in. "And then you called in the suit."

"Look. We're just going to end this conversation here and there.", Tony scowled, Steve placing a kiss to his cheek. "Upset, love?"

"No..." Stare. "Yes."

* * *

By nightfall, Bruce's cousin was settled into her room, which Steve managed to talk Tony out of decorating. She had met the others in the living room where, as usual, they were having take-out while they watched a movie. The team admitted to chuckling a bit when they noticed her Hulk tee shirt that went with pink sweats she adorned. Bruce's blush was just as pink as the sweats. The green skinned lawyer had sat to the left of her cousin, Thor occupying his right. "So what movie?", she questioned, grabbing a container of rice.

"We were deciding between a thriller or a comedy.", Sam answered, still kind of amazed of the relation between Bruce and Jenny.

"Yeah. Say, Jenny, is 'Woman in Black' considered a thriller or horror?", Natasha asked, glaring over Wade.

"Thriller."

"See?! Told you, W. Wilson!"

"Okay! But it scares the shit of me regardless.", the Merc with the Mouth admitted, wrapping an arm around Peter before taking a bite out of an eggroll.

"What is the difference?", Thor asked.

"Oh, a horror is more gory and a thriller holds more mystery. Granted, both genres can have blood and jump scares, but a thriller is more dramatic. Like it actually deals with the plot and most of the time there is some bit of tragedy dealing with the main character's past.", Bruce answered. Jenny had been listening to him, but her eyes were cut to Thor who she noticed looked interested in what Bruce was talking about. Nope, scratch that. He was smiling like Bruce was the best person ever. Like... oh... OOOOHHHH!

Jenny's green emeralds widened when it came to her. She looked around and caught Pietro's amused blue gaze. He nodded, holding up a thumb-up signaling to her that he knew what was going on. She looked over to Rhodey who did the same thing. Looking between the two, she smirked back with a nod.

"Can we go with 'The Disappointment Room'?", the lawyer asked, scooting closer to Bruce. That resulted him scooting closer to Thor. When he noticed, he had glanced up at Thor who just smiled at him, telling him he didn't mind it. Bruce had blushed and just averted his eyes back to the screen. Even though no movie was playing yet.

"I don't see why not. Wait, would that be a horror or thriller?", Vision asked, eyeing Wanda who shrugged.

"Doesn't matter. Start the movie, FRIDAY!"

* * *

Within thirty minutes in the movie, most of their takeout was already eaten. Guaranteed, that was bound to happen since they had already started to eat it before the movie started. Steve and Sam had gotten snacks for everyone during that time before reclaiming their seats. Jenny had gotten the cookies Sam grabbed for her and opened the bag. Peter had commented how the packaged cookies weren't as good as Steve's baked ones, and have mercy did his glare stab through his proclaimed uncle Sam (1) and Clint. He really wanted those cookies.

Jenny had grabbed a cookie out the package and promptly placed it on Bruce's hand. He shot a weird look at her. "Jenny?" The currently taller just shrugged, nodding her head towards Thor. Said blonde was eating chips, his hands full. "Offer it to Thor if you don't want it, Bruce." Hearing his name, the god looked at the two cousins. "Hm?"

Bruce looked down at the cookie in his hand, Jenny, Thor with a blush and back at the cookie, Thor again, Jenny, and the cookie and then Thor. He held up the cookie towards Thor. "Um... want it?"

Without much of a reply, Thor leaned closer and took the cookie between his teeth and ate it. Bruce stiffened at how close Thor's mouth was to his fingers just now, his face red.

Jenny bit her lip from laughing and grinning, OTP-ing at this point. She shot looks at Pietro and Rhodey who nodded. Clint had noticed and looked Bruce and Thor's way. His eyes lit up, brighter than the TV screen. He looked close to squealing.

"Anyone want the rest of this ice cream?", Bucky offered, holding up vanilla and chocolate swirled ice cream. Jenny raised her hand, another idea popping up. "I do! Gimme that!"

Bucky just shrugged, passing it over. Tony blinked. "Wow. Quite an appetite there."

"Tony... she's related to the Hulk.", Wanda reminded. The brunet made a noise of understanding before turning back to the movie.

Jenny had dipped a cookie into the ice cream. She nudged Bruce's arm, catching his attention. He didn't get a chance to say anything before she practically forced the frozen treat covered sweet in his mouth. In doing so, it got a bit messy. Thor had looked down at Bruce in time to catch the sight of swirled vanilla and chocolate ice cream on the corners of Bruce's lips. The thunder wielder's breath got caught in his throat when Bruce's tongue darted out to lick away the ice cream. While Thor sat there, hot and bothered, Bruce turned to his cousin to scowl her.

"Jennifer, really?!"

"It was good, wasn't it? Don't complain, my cute cousin of mine.", she teased, a smug grin on her lips.

Well... her visit was going to be interesting.

* * *

The next few days was promptly spent spending time with her cousin, catching up, trading stories, going out, the whatnot or so. But when she wasn't doing that, Jenny was making sure Bruce and Thor were always in the same room and well aware of each other's presence. The others took notice, but only Clint, Pietro, and Rhodey were not blind to what she was doing. Steve had a clue though.

Like now.

Jenny, dressed in purple sweatpants, a white tank and no socks, was currently sitting in the middle of the den floor on a blanket with Wanda, Natasha and Peter. Magazines, snacks, nail polish and hair care products was scattered around them. Natasha was dressed in a simple black tank and shorts set. Wanda wore red clothes that was similar. Peter wore a white shirt and black shorts. All four of them were in their own little world, prepping each other just for the fun of it. Peter was braiding Jenny's green locks, humming some little song. Wanda and Natasha was painting their nails, Natasha somehow was eating cookies while doing so. Jenny was looking through a magazine, visibly relaxed as Peter played with her hair. It was then that Clint, Sam and Bruce came into the room. Clint came to Natasha's side and examined her nails.

"Well done, Nat.", he commented, Sam equally amazed with Wanda's nails.

"We could do your nails, too. If you want though.", Wanda offered.

"Please do! Last time I check, nail polish has no gender! Or clothes! Or shoes! Or hairstyles! Or makeup!", Sam ranted, picking up a stony (smirks) grey. "I like this color."

"Can I have the purple color?", Clint asked, pointing to one that was a nice shade of amethyst.

"I want that color, too. Bruce, you want your nails done, too?", Jenny asked, allowing her cousin to settle his head in her lap. Bruce shook his head.

"Nah, I'm good, Jenny. Although I would like you to run your fingers through my hair right now."

"Your wish is my command!"

"Hey, what's going on?", Steve asked, coming in. From his slightly red skin, they knew he just took a shower.

"Just stuff, Pops.", Peter answered, finishing up Jenny's braid. "Done!"

Wanda levitated a mirror near Jenny who looked into and gasped. "Ooh! A fancy braid! Peter, where did you learn to do this?"

"My best friends are Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane Watson. Both are way too into this stuff and honestly, they have influenced me. That and with my abilities, my fingers are quite nimble.", Peter admitted with a shrug. "I can do a couple of hairstyles that MJ taught me. Like the side braids look."

"Do that for me please.", Wanda requested, placing the mirror back. Jenny was now running fingers through Bruce's hair, Clint and Sam taking seats between Natasha and Wanda, Steve had sat against Bruce's legs that were propped up. He was flipping through a magazine, sharing some chips with the brunet.

"Looks like we walked into something important.", Tony teased as he, Wade and Thor walked in. Thor had stopped when he spotted Bruce laying on the floor, looking as calm as ever. His eyes were closed, hands settled on his stomach, and legs propped up, Steve still leaning against them. He looked so relaxed, taking steady calming breaths. It was a _very_ good look on him, the thunder god willingly admitting it. He would admit to the jealously he felt from seeing Jenny and Steve in Bruce's space. Yes, it was platonic, but Thor wanted to touch him romantically. Oh yeah...

"You did, Stark. Peace and sincerity.", Natasha hissed lightly, focusing on applying nail polish to Clint's fingers. "You have some nice hands, Clint.", she pointed out, moving from the middle finger to the ring finger.

"Perfect for archery, my good widow.", Clint replied.

Jenny spared a glimpse at Thor without him noticing since he was oogling Bruce and smirked.

"Bruce has some nice hands, too.", she commented, grabbing her cousin's hands and holding them up. "Thor, have a feel!"

At that, both Thor and Bruce blushed, still in their positions. Steve had looked in between the two before smiling a little. There was a perfect chance to have some fun. He placed down his magazine and took hold of Bruce's left hand. "Wow. Soft like a baby kitten! Thor, _you_ should really feel.", he suggested, resisting the urge to wink.

"Um... I believe that-"

"Bruce wouldn't mind! Right, Brucie?", Jenny asked. Bruce just shook his head, not trusting the squeals that was trying to escape his throat. He yelped when he was forced upwards and closer to Thor. It happened within seconds. His hand within Thor's. Their faces got redder, hands refusing to pry apart. The others just stared, realizing that the two actually looked kind of cute together. Bruce's hand was much smaller than Thor's, which was unusual for someone who had the Hulk residing in his body.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Soft, isn't it, Thor?", Clint teased. Thor was now staring into Bruce's wide browns, Bruce staring into his blues.

Sam looked in between the two before glancing over at Jenny with an 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' kind of gaze. Jenny nodded, smirking a little. He couldn't help but smirk back.

* * *

"Okay, what's going on?"

Eyes of different colors met with the sight of a stern, questioning glare of a certain spider named female team member.

"Um... what are you talking about?", Sam questioned, scooting closer to Bucky.

Natasha placed a hand on her hip. She noticed how Thor and Bruce were absent out the kitchen. "As of late, all of you have been really... weird. Like weirder than usual. What's going on?"

"We're thinking about how we should get Thor and Bruce together.", Clint stated bluntly.

The redhead didn't look every bit of shocked or confused. She looked impressed. "Oh, you notice, too?"

"Yeah. Actually all of us noticed now.", Peter answered.

"I've known for weeks."

"I've known since the HYDRA kidnapping incident.", Pietro voiced in, Rhodey nodding, also knowing since then. Natasha nodded before taking a seat next to Wade. "Alright. So came up with any ideas?"

"I thought about setting them up on a date, but then I was like 'too cliche'.", Wanda dully suggested.

"I say we lock them in a room.", Tony voiced. Steve shook his head.

"No, babe. We're not doing that."

"Okay, how about-"

 **"Sir, there's an attack happening just south of Broadway."** , FRIDAY interrupted. **"I believe it's Doctor Doom,"** This earned a collection of annoyed groans and curses. **"Rhino and Venom."**

"I guess he wants a rematch.", Jenny smirked, cracking her knuckles while Peter stuck his tongue out.

"At least you enjoy it. Damn it, when will Venom leave me alone?!"

"Is this the same Venom that-"

"Yup."

"He's dead this time.", Wade vowed, clicking a gun and soundlessly exiting the kitchen. Peter quickly followed him, the others exchanging glances before doing the same.

* * *

The fight seemed to quickly ending with how She-Hulk was throwing down. Her and Rhino were going at it again, the female green fighter seemingly winning easily.

"Oh, Rhino, you should feel so embarrassed that a _lawyer_ is kicking your ass.", She-Hulk mocked, ducking a battered Doom-Bot Vision threw. Rhino huffed, feeling annoyed and frustrated. He charged at her, almost running over Winter Soldier and Scarlet Witch who both gave him the finger. "Kick his ass!", the magic caster cheered on, rooting for her newfound friend.

While that was going on...

"Deadpool! You can't kill him!"

"The hell you say I can, Spider-Babe! He's push it too far! He licked you!"

"Deadpool!"

As of now, Spider-Man was pushing his maniacal boyfriend back who was shooting at Venom. The black clad spider was desperately dodging, narrowly missing a bullet to the ass. "DIE! DIE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Above, Iron Man and War Machine exhaled, not needing to look when they shot at a couple of Doom-Bots. "Oh boy. And to think he's your future son-in-law.", the silver iron suited one teased. The other huffed.

"Don't remind me. At least he's reacting as he should. I would try to kill someone for licking my wifey, too!"

"Stark, don't call me that!", Captain America scowled, hearing him. "It's so... I don't know..."

"Damn adorable. You're thinking that.", Black Widow voiced. She glared at Doctor Doom, getting her bracelets set. "This is becoming a running gag. You always attacking and then we have to stop you. Like where's the Fantastic Four when you need them?"

"Apparently, every time Doom attacks they're somewhere else also stopping evil... or some science project.", Spider-Man voiced. "Johnny told me!"

"I reckon.", Hawkeye added in, shooting an electrifying arrow straight at Doom. The green caped metal man was taken by surprise at the horrifying sting he recieved when the arrow touched his forehead. He was knocked out unconscious, his robots following suit. Scarlet Witch floated down next to the archer and laughed. "That indeed is your favorite arrow."

"I'll say. Hey, has anyone seen Thor and Bruce of late?", Falcon asked, landing next to the Winter Soldier.

"Last time I seen the two was-"

CRASH!

The group jumped as a bundle of crushed Doom-bots landed on the concrete ground. They looked up and saw that it was Thor who threw down the crushed minions, while also holding Bruce in his arms. The brunet was set down carefully on his feet, and now enough to flash anyone since he was indeed covered in Thor's cape, and just the cape.

"Thor and I were downtown when the attack happened. Some of the bots went our way and we handled it.", Bruce voiced, sensing the concern from the others. It really didn't take long and no civilian got hurt. SHIELD made sure of that. Some of them will be heading this way in a few."

"I'm glad to see you're okay, Brucie.", She-Hulk sighed happily, standing on top of an unconscious Rhino. Next to him, a tied up unconscious Venom was placed down, quite harshly, by Deadpool. The Merc looked peeved, but satisfied. Spider-Man was perched against a wall, not falling due to his abilities. "Can we go home now?"

"We should probably wait for SHIELD first. Or at least some of us. Falcon, you, War Machine, and Thor take Spider-Man, Deadpool and Bruce home. The rest of us will stay here. Okay?", Cap ordered. She-Hulk had went over to her cousin's side, picking him up and holding him bridal style, much to Bruce's dismay. "J-Jenny! Put me down!"

"Shush, cousin. Let me hug you while you're like this."

"Jenny!"

"Okay, okay!"

The green skinned female carried Bruce over to Thor and dumped her cousin in the god's arms. She patted his cheek with a teasing, stern, warning look. "Take care of my Bruce. Just because he's the Hulk, doesn't mean he's not fragile."

Something told Thor that she meant a total different meaning.

* * *

About two hours later, the rest of the Avengers arrived at the Tower, ready for much needed clean-up and food. The Twins were the first to scurry through the den to their rooms for showers, Wanda hitching a ride on her brother who didn't mind. Clint and Natasha collapsed on the sofa, taking each side of Bucky who was just sitting there. The duo took off their boots, grimacing seeing oil from the Doom-bots on them.

"Geez. I'm glad I know how to take stains out of boots.", Clint sighed, catching Tony's attention.

"Wait... what do you mean by that?"

"Remember what Clint and I use to do before joining SHIELD.", Natasha deadpanned, taking off her gloves and smiling at her still bright red nails. She grabbed her bestie's hand and continuing smiling. "Still perfect."

"There's got to be a trick to this.", Clint said, amazed. His fingers were completely covered like Natasha's was during the battle. He was shocked to see the purple still on his nails.

"I got to know those tricks then, too.", Jenny teased, looking around the room. She didn't see Thor or Bruce present.

"Where are they? Thor and Bruce?"

"Oh, your OTP is in the kitchen. Bruce is helping Sam with dinner. Lasagna. Thor decided to stay there to watch over him to 'make sure he's okay'.", Rhodey answered.

"Those two have to be dating right now. Or if not, we have to get them together. Their sexual tension is way too cute for me to handle.", Tony sighed. Natasha glanced his way.

"You and Steve were way worse. At least, they're subtle about it."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear you say that.", Steve exhaled. "But I admit I'm curious what they were doing before the attack."

"Same. Maybe we can get it out of Bruce... and try not to bring Hulk out. Especially if we're going to do this in the Tower.", Rhodey suggested. Jenny tapped her chin in thought. How could she bring her cousin and crush to admit their feelings to each other without bring out her male green skinned counterpart? She was well aware that Hulk wasn't as temper composed as Bruce... although Bruce was scary without the Hulk. So she didn't need that either.

"Well, I'm out of ideas.", Wade sighed, mask half up. Clint glimpsed his way. "Did you even think of anything?"

"I haven't. It too much."

"I think I have an idea. It's innocent enough, but we all have to be keen-eyed and well prepare for what may happen.", Jenny warned.

The group exchanged baffled, yet frightened looks, not sure what the lawyer was up to.

* * *

It took two days before Jenny set her plan in motion. Seemingly enough, they actually wasn't sure what she was planning because she never told. Jenny gave an aura of patience the passing two days, but behind her toxic greens was mischief.

It was official. She was the outgoing, fun-loving family member.

Not that they didn't love Bruce! They were actually appreciative at his sanity, how he was more rational than anyone else. He has to be with the jolly green giant residing inside him.

Anyways...

Jenny had skipped into the den, suddenly escorting the others out onto the spacy balcony. They complained about it, wondering what the hell she was doing.

"Hey! Hey! Walters, mind explaining what you're doing?", Tony scowled, falling onto Steve's lap. Not that either of them minded. Jenny shushed him.

"Quiet. Let my magic work and stay shut.", she demanded, peeking into the den they left out of. The group peeked, too, just in time to see Bruce venture into the den. He looked flushed from a hot shower, dressed in dark purple sweatpants and a black tee that either Natasha or Jenny most likely gave him. In his hand was a cup of tea, in the other a book.

He settled down onto the couch, aware of the mysterious quietness but welcomed it. A few pages into the book and Bruce heard hard footsteps. He looked up, seeing it was just Thor.

"Hi, Thor.", he greeted softly, a faint blush on his cheeks.

"Hello, Bruce. Mind if I sit with you?", the blonde asked, his usual politeness in his voice.

Bruce nodded, scooting over so Thor could sit next to him.

"So you have any idea where the others have gone?"

"Aye. Lady Jenny had informed me that she, Natasha, Wanda, Sam and Steve went out to do the grocery shopping, Peter and Wade went out on a date, and the rest probably went for coffee. Yes, to the Bucks of Stars."

"Starbucks."

From the balcony, Jenny had gave a muffled squeal. "He called me Lady Jenny. Oh, he is so perfect for Brucie!"

Bruce had settled down his book, more interested in Thor at the moment, while keeping a grip on his tea. "Ah. Did she tell you were she went?"

"I believe to see a Matt Murdock about an upcoming court case."

"Sounds like it. They're both lawyers. I could never really understand the law field like that. I praise Jenny on that."

Thor had shifted, so he was facing Bruce more, keeping his eyes on him. "Yes, your cousin is rather intelligent. But I must admit I'm more intrigued by your cleverness, Bruce. It's an attractive aspect that has me drawn to you."

At the balcony, Steve and Sam resisted squealing out loud, Jenny hugging herself.

"Okay, I like where this is going.", Sam smirked.

Back inside, Bruce's face got redder at Thor's rather honest words. "... um... drawn to me?"

"It's not the only thing I admire about you, Bruce."

"R-really?"

"Ah yes. You're also kind at heart. You're not selfless. And I can see that you've been much pain."

Bruce's darker eyes went downcast, not having the taste for tea anymore. "I guess you can say that. It's just... well, I didn't start off with the best life and even in my adult years I was haunted by what I've been through. Honestly? Before I met any of you, Jenny had been there for me. I don't even see her as a cousin, I see her more as a sister really."

"She told me of such bond you two share. She didn't tell me of your past for the sake of privacy and I swear to protect that."

"Noble knight.", Bucky deadpanned from the balcony, behind Vision.

"Well, thank you, Thor."

"I only speak of truth."

"And thank you for that as well. It hurts sometimes when you know you're being lied to. The big guy really doesn't like it. He actually sees how it effects me and really holds grudges about it for a long time."

Thor nodded, understanding. He scooted closer to Bruce, but not too close so the other was uncomfortable. Bruce didn't seem to mind it though. Actually, why would he?

"He means to protect you."

"Yeah. Hulk isn't so bad. He's like... the brother you thought you wouldn't like, but you do in the end."

"I know the feeling."

The others watched as the duo shared a quick laugh for a moment. Once they settled back down into the lightness of the atmosphere, they absentmindedly sat even closer. Thor's arm made its way around Bruce's shoulders, the doctor of the team settling into his side. They stared at each other, brown meeting blue again before they started to lean even closer.

On the balcony, the group tried to contain their excitement. "Here it comes!", Tony snickered.

"Yes!", Sam cheered.

It was all too exciting, and it felt like it was going in slow motion.

"Oh my f... just kiss alre-"

"THOR! I HAVE ARRIVED!"

The group groaned, angered, while Thor and Bruce fell apart. Standing in the middle of the room was Loki, unaware of what was happened. He noticed the blush of Bruce's face and Thor's dissatisfied scowl. "Have I interrupted something important?"

"Yes, you did, Uncle Loki!", Peter said, the group coming into the room from the balcony. Bruce blinked.

"What are you guys doing out there?"

"... no reason.", Jenny mumbled, looking down to avoid eye contact with Bruce. She was well aware of his scary stares. Yup, not even she was immune to them.

The blush on Bruce's face quickly faded off, being replaced by a scowl and an added action of balled fists resting on hips. "Jennifer, don't lie to me. You're well aware that I don't like being lied to."

"We're well aware of that.", Rhodey muttered under his breath, which Bruce did hear.

"You were out there spying on us, weren't you?!"

"Spying is such a strong word, Brucie. More like... 'observing'?", Tony chuckled nervously.

"Anthony!"

"Okay, okay! We were eavesdropping on you two!", Rhodey confessed, not wanting Bruce to press even further for the truth. He regretted it when he heard Bruce's angered growl.

"You... WHY?! WHY DID YOU LIE ABOUT WHERE YOU WENT?! JENNIFER!"

"Eep! Shit! Okay! I wanted to get you and Thor alone because... well, we noticed how you two were obviously attracted to each other. We thought to set up and-"

"There's no 'we'.", Bucky scoffed.

" _We_ thought to set you up. We hoped you two finally realize that you like each other. Bruce, I want you to be happy! Thor makes you happy!", Jenny whined.

At her words, Thor and Bruce exchanged glances, the brunet blushing a bit.

"... so... you..."

"I..."

"Oh for Pete's sake, I can't take it anymore!", Pietro shouted. He sped over and shoved Bruce into Thor's unprepared arms. "Kiss! Right now! For weeks! _Weeks_ you two have danced around each other! It's been worse than Tony and Steve! Just kiss and get it over with!"

Wanda covered her mouth to muffle a laugh from her twin's rant. Thor and Bruce looked back at each other, the doctor being held close with arms around his waist.

"..."

"..."

"Mother would definitely love Bruce.", Loki teased. Bruce peeked around Thor to glare at Loki.

"Loki..."

"I always wanted you to be apart of the family. "

"Loki!"

"Thor, handle that."

"With pleasure."

Bruce was instantly caught by surprise as the blond god took hold of his chin, planting a kiss on his awaiting lips. Instantly, Bruce felt warm. The kiss, I indeed wanted to make this joke, was electrifying. The others watched, some of them squealing in happiness and others smugly smiling as Bruce fell into the kiss, his arms reaching up to wrap around Thor's neck.

Wanda had brought up a camera to take a picture, but with instant instinct, the new couple stopped kissing.

"Put it up, Wanda."

"None of you never let me have my fun."

* * *

Jenny had stayed one more week before she was called back to her city for a maor case her league wanted her to handle. As one of the best lawyers known, of course she was called for it. It puzzled her though why a certain blind lawyer was called, but apparently he was busy. She didn't want to know.

"Alright, it's been fun being here.", Bruce's female counterpart smiled, hugging her currently smaller cousin, lifting him off his feet a bit.

"It's been fun having you! You have to come back please!", Clint whined. Pietro pouted a little when the archer hugged Jenny.

"I will. I will. Fury requested me to be an official Avenger anyways."

"I'm starting to think he's our dad.", Sam shrugged. "Adopting 'kids' left and right."

"He's more like a grandpa to me.", Peter admitted.

"Of course he is.", Wade chuckled, kissing the teen briefly.

"Anyways, I better get going. Thor, you remembered what I told you about my cousin, right?", Jenny smiled innocently. Said god had an arm wrapped around Bruce's waist now, the brunet leaning onto him with a small smile.

"Aye, I do, Lady Jenny. You declared that you would give me immense bodily harm that I should forever feel centuries to come. It will be so horrendous that my godly invulnerability won't help me. And after you invoke such pain in me, you'll send me to the Gates of Hel."

"Yup! Good! I'm glad you remember! Oh, it's so cute how you call me 'Lady Jenny'!"

She gave Thor and Bruce a kiss on each cheek before hugging the rest of the group and heading out the door. They waved her off before heading back upstairs.

"Bruce, I wished you introduced Jenny to us sooner.", Steve said. "She's nice."

"I'm re-thinking that since that threat she gave Thor is kind of frightening.", Vision admitted. "Worse than the threat Pietro has declared on me about Wanda."

"You threatened Vision?", Wanda asked he twin.

With no shame, the speedster nodded. "When it comes to family, I'm protective."

"We all are.", Natasha sighed.

"Honestly, I wished I brought her around sooner.", Bruce mumbled, looking up at Thor before kissing his nose. "If it wasn't for her, Thor and I would still be dancing around each other."

"Until I intervened. Because it was getting tiring.", Loki voiced, popping up.

And who was anyone to disagree?

* * *

 **(1) - This joke was coming sooner or later. Any kid of Steve Roger's would be the most American kid ever because they get to call Sam his 'Uncle Sam' while their dad is Captain America. Oh, and don't think it's going to stop there!**

 **You guys really think Peter is going to be the only kid Tony and Steve are going to adopt? Also, do you think they're going to be the only ones with kids? Nope!**

 **I'm not going to spoil it majorly, but... yeah. It's going to build up to the DC/Marvel Crossover I want to do.**

 **And, nope I'm continuing, you think Bruce is going to be the only one who will have a family member to appear? Huh?! Well...**

 **Review, and while you're at it, tell me who else you think is going to be apart of the Avengers Family. Who else has family?**


	23. Rainbow Widow

**The Antics of the Avengers**

 **Disclaimer: Even after months of not updating I still don't own crap.**

 **Notes: Speaking of which, you all may wonder why I haven't updated in like FOREVER. Well, here's the reason. It's not family issues, or mental issues (Even though there are days I do... and should take a mental health day). The reason is because way back in June... my laptop broke. Yes, it broke. I'm broke, so I don't have the cash to get it fixed and it will be a while before I get the chance to get another one. Until then, expect long updates. I apologize for that.**

 **Warnings: Okay, since I've been gone for a long time, I'll remind you of what the warnings are again. So same-sex relationships, cursings, my sense of humor, non-canon things, violence, Deadpool. The usual stuff. Also, I did this chapter in like one hour, so I don't think it's that good like my other chapters.**

 **Now let's go on with the chapter you all have been waiting for!**

* * *

Chapter 23 - Rainbow Widow

Years of knowing her, Clint knew that when Natasha was challenged, she took up the challenge faithfully. Yes, she was human, but there was times Clint had to wonder if she ever really felt fear. Maybe so.

However, he was certain that despite her tough exterior, the infamous Black Widow was very much a troll. No one, except him, Coulson, Hill and Fury have seen her do outrageous things.

Not even their teammates/friends.

So it was obvious that it was a grave mistake on their part when four certain words were spoken up one day.

* * *

"She is no fun."

The archer had looked up from his magazine, eyeing over to the designer of the Tower and soon-to-be new home. Tony was watching Natasha walk away with a bag of magnets he was just about to attach to Bucky's arm. In reality, she just saved Tony from getting a bullet.

"Stark, what do you mean by that?", Clint questioned, setting down his magazine. By then Peter and Steve was in the room, joining Bucky on the sofa.

Delighted to see the golden boy, Tony rushed over to Steve's side, not caring about the sudden crowding on the sofa. "Nat is so... serious sometimes. Is this like a spy thing?"

"Eh no. Tony, trust me. Natasha doesn't do as much outrageous things because she will go to the the extreme. She's only as strict as Steve because well... when she is silly, it's like Wade on ten cups of coffee."

Tony looked unimpressed, not believing in the words. "Uh huh. Yeah, sure."

"What? You're challenging her?"

"Don't do that.", Steve butted in, already aware of what might happen. Even Peter appeared skeptical.

"Yeah... Dad, that doesn't sound like a good idea."

"It isn't.", Clint warned. "But if Tony insists..."

"No, he does not.

"No, no. Steve, baby, I so do insist. I want to see Natasha do something crazy. And it can't involve killing or mutually hurting someone or matchmaking.", Tony smirked.

There was a few moments of silence before Clint sighed, getting up out of his chair. "Alright. Just don't come telling me I didn't warn you about shit." He walked out the den, heading to the kitchen. As he expected, Natasha was indeed there. The redhead was sitting beside Sam, sipping on whatever was occupying inside her cup while Sam was scrolling through his phone. The archer took a seat next to her, tapping her shoulder.

"Dear Nat, you have been challenged."

"Oh fuck...", Sam whispered, already knew that whoever have done so made a grave mistake. "It was either Tony, Bucky, or maybe even Wade who has challenged her."

"Tony. He said that she can't do any matchmaking or injure someone in an unique way."

Natasha finished her drink, setting it down. She grinned. "Don't worry. I won't have to do any of that."

* * *

Okay, it felt like a good decision. Usually, if he was confident enough in something, it always ended in his favor. He knew that Clint had undoubtedly informed Natasha of his proposal. And he knew she was planning to do something that would shock him. He didn't think he could be so surprised at anything she did to prove him wrong because he has seen the weirdest things. For real, his future son-in-law is Deadpool. Though Peter and Wade aren't engaged... yet.

Tony whistled, strutting into the kitchen that following Sunday morning. Most of the others were already there, already eating away at whatever. It was one of those days nobody wanted to cook. So looks like takeout for later.

"Morning, my fellow Avengers!", the brunet greeted, kissing Steve on the cheek.

From the table, Clint scoffed. "Oh, Tony, you won't be so happy for long."

Suspicious, Tony glared his way. "And why is that?"

"Peter, I told you that would look cute on you. Morning."

Natasha had wandered in the kitchen, down dressed in sweatpants, a tank and a black beanie with a red 'N' on it that completely covered her hair. Peter had blushed, wearing an oversized blue sweater that she was referring to. "Stop it."

"Baggy stuff is cute on you. See? Look at me.", the agent smiled, plucking at her pants. "Baggy, cute. Tight, sexy."

"Nat, are you wearing a beanie?", Bruce questioned, handing Thor a mug of coffee before sitting in his lap.

She nodded. "My hair is terrible. I didn't feel like doing it."

Wanda rolled her eyes, amused. Even with the deadpan tone, she could tell Natasha was joking. "Oh no. Natasha, you never have a bad hair day."

"I do. My hair is so not looking good."

"Even I know to not believe you.", Rhodey asked, eating some bacon. "You're playing at something."

"I'm not. But... since you don't believe me, I guess I could show you what mean."

Tony caught the grin she shot at him before snatching the beanie off her head. The second she had, Tony found himself on the floor. "WHAT THE FUCK, ROMANOFF?!"

The others had mixed expressions about what they were currently staring at.

There was humored smirks and snickers, gaping open mouths, blinking and dull demeanors.

Natasha currently didn't adorn her usual fiery red locks. Instead, the color was darker. Way darker.

Her hair was midnight black with streaks of a Hawkeye kind of purple and lavender. So unlike their Nat's usual style.

Which... indeed... shock the hell out of Tony.

She leaned down to his level, the inventor still laying on the floor. "Likey? I feel this is so me, you know?"

"Natasha! That...! It's...!"

"I like it.", Clint admitted. "I feel you're honoring me."

"You're my best friend, Clint. Of course, I am."

"In that case, I have a Hawkeye Appreciation Tee you could wear.", Pietro offered, ignoring the look the others shot him. "He's my boyfriend. I have every right to have one."

"Okay, I'm not the only one then. I have like twenty Spidey shirts.", Wade said, not even batting an eye. As usual, he had no shame. Although, it made Peter giddy.

"Hey, hey. Don't change the subject! Natasha has black and purple hair! Isn't anyone at least baffled by this?", Tony asked.

"I kind of like it on her. That would be the perfect disguise for her next mission or whatever.", Sam said. "You should try blue of some shade next."

"Sam, don't persuade her!"

"I do have this sea blue I wanted to try."

"Oh my fuck... for real?", Tony sighed, surprised no one was really objecting to this. "Nat, think of how Fury would react."

"Ooh! I would totally love to see his face on your hair.", Bucky grinned.

"He's used to Natasha doing things like this. Once she went blonde for a mission. It was a pretty good look on her, too.", Clint informed, sharing a look with said agent.

"A blond Black Widow? Needed pictures!", Wanda giggled. Vision patted her shoulders.

"Love, you have enough pictures for your album."

"No I don't."

By now, Tony had decided to sit there on the stool, staring down into an empty mug. He was pondering on what his morning had turned into. He woke up, so sure of himself that Natasha wouldn't do anything to surprise him. But of course, he had underestimated her and found himself the end of her trolling.

"So Tony..." He met with Natasha's twinkling amused gaze, her darker locks falling to her shoulders. "Did I do it?"

He nodded, accepting defeat. "Yes. Yes, you have surprised me."

"And my hair?"

"It's giving me dark chick vibes. But..." He sighed, lowering his head. "You did good. The look is pretty good on you."

"Thank you. Learned your lesson?"

"I have."

"Alright then."

Natasha then strolled away, heading for the cabinet for some Nutella. Tony turned to his boyfriend who took to rubbing fingers through his brown hair. "You okay, Tony?"

"I know for sure that she's keeping the style for about a week or so.", he answered, wrapping his arms around Steve's waist. He pulled him closer to he could cuddle into his torso. He moaned against the ex-soldier's chest. "You're not gonna do anything to make me go WTF, are you?"

"Like what?"

"Um... I don't know. Like wear Iron Man inspired lingerie. Wait... that would be a good surprise."

"You little perv."

* * *

Turns out, Natasha did have sea blue hair dye. Which she wore that following afternoon. Her hair was tyed up in a messy bun, loose strands framing her face. Tony was standing at the entrance of the training room, blinking.

Natasha was sparring with Peter, the only one besides Wanda and Bruce that she shows mercy to. Sam and Bucky was sitting on a weight bench together, both taking a break and watching the two spider themed heroes. They had noticed Tony's presence and laughed when they realized why he seemed so shocked.

"Blue does look nice on her, doesn't it, Stark?", Bucky taunted just as Natasha had Peter pinned down.

Tony glared at him, giving him a finger salute before turning on his heel and leaving, ignoring the growing laughter that followed him.

* * *

The next five days was spent with Tony questioning his sanity. What made him think that Natasha wouldn't go so far to make him go wide eyed.

Sunday was the black and Hawkeye purple loose hair.

Monday was the sea blue messy bun.

Tuesday she decided on having her hair in a French braid, colored a green that reminded Tony of Loki.

Wednesday was a neater bun with her hair in an orange color that was close to her natural hair color.

Thrusday, Tony saw that with the right shade of blond, Natasha appeared less threatening and a long lost sister of Steve's.

Friday, Natasha strutted around with bubblegum pink and magenta wavy locks. By far, that was the weirdest hairstyle she went with...

Until today.

Now Saturday, Tony was expecting her to appear with some out of this world style.

Bright yellow pigtails?

Mermaid silver curls?

A rosy coral chignon?

Whatever it would be, Tony was sure this time he would be ready to be snarky and not be impressed.

The group was gathered at the almost newly furnished HQ. Fury had requested a meeting with them about an upcoming mission. Everyone was present, sans Natasha who was meeting with Hill before she came.

Tony was mindlessly turning in his chair, still pondering on what the agent would walk in with.

She'll probably walk in as a brunette and look like a sister of Bucky's.

Again, he wouldn't be surprised.

"Alright, alright. I'm here. Start the meeting."

And as he expected, Natasha did walk in with an outrageous style.

"Wow. I should say I'm beyond baffled, but I'm not. Congratulations, Agent Romanoff, you have went to the extreme.", the engineer dully voiced, clapping slowly as the others took in Natasha's hair.

She didn't go for one color. Or two. Not even three.

She decided for a rainbow. The top was a deep bunny nose pink blending into a tangerine orange. From there, it went to a spring yellow, a sparkling fairy green, a bubbly blue and ending in a witchy purple.

Overall, Natasha's hair was the path that led to the Leprechaun's gold.

"I really want to sing about sunny days and tweeting birds looking at your hair.", Sam admitted while Peter, Pietro and Bruce nodded.

Natasha ran her fingers through her hair before flinging it over her shoulder. "Good. I was going for that."

"Natasha, should you be dying your hair that much? Couldn't it damage it? Unless it's that easy hair dye that you can spray and wash out in one go.", Steve wondered.

"Nah, it's okay, Steve."

"Natasha, your hair reminds me of the bridge Loki and I use to travel home to Asgard.", Thor admitted brightly.

"My inspiration."

"Okay, Natasha, what's next? The Corpse Bride hair? Anime hair? Maybe something Disney.", Tony sassed, leaning back into his chair. "You must have a lot of hair dye."

Natasha stood there, not doing anything and blank in the face.

The room gone quiet, hearing nothing except Rhodey finger tapping on the table and breathing.

They watched Natasha, wondering her next move would be. When she didn't do anything, Bruce spoke up. "Um... meeting?"

Natasha then let out a giggle. Steve was instantly reminded of the event months ago. "That's not good." She continued giggling, growing into a hearty laughter that had her bending and holding her stomach. They knew she had to have tears by now.

"Natasha?", Wanda spoke up, concern.

The agent quickly straightened up before shaking her head. "Oh Tony. Tony, Tony, Tony. I didn't have to use hair dye at all."

"What?", the engineer gasped, blinking.

Natasha took hold of the rainbow locks before pulling them away from her head. They watched as her natural red hair fell down to her shoulders, a bit wavy from being under a...

"Wig? Natasha... Natasha Romanoff, you were wearing a wig?!", Tony yelled, standing up.

She nodded, tossing the multicolored wig on the table. She propped herself in an empty seat next to the smirking archer of the group. "She was wearing wigs the whole week. She knew that you would think she was using hair dye. But she was wearing wigs.", he informed before high-fiving his bestie.

"I admit those are some good wigs then.", Sam said. "Like really good."

"You have impressed me once more, Miss Widow.", Wade chuckled. He turned to Peter. "Your aunt's the best."

Peter looked across the table, seeing his adoptive father whining in his pops' shoulder for comfort. "Yeah. She's the queen of major trolling."

* * *

 **This may or may not be related to the fact that Natasha had blond hair in the Avengers: Infinity War trailer. Either way, I had to do something with her trolling once again.**

 **But seriously, can you imagine her wearing those hair colors?**

 **That actually will be notoriously hilarious!**

 **Also, I want to give thanks to those who have waited and have been adding this story to their alerts and such. I wanna cry right now.**

 **Review and thank you!**


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